Across The GoldStar Barrier
by Tyranno's girl
Summary: Sequel to 'Of Youkai, Life, and Other Things'. Chaos brings many things: war, heartbreak, unrest. But can love and unity prevail when the rest of the world is being torn to peices by an unseen foe? KisaIta, SasoDei, KakuHida, ZetTobi, SasuNaru, and other.
1. Welcome Back

**A/N: Hey guys! Who's ready for more of our favorite group of demons and their wild antics, huh? **

**Well, let's get some hardware out of the way first: **

**To begin, I'm going to share some personal pony trivia with you guys! **

**Favorite pony? Applejack is best pony, duh. **

**Favorite episode from season 1? The Best Night Ever. **

**Favorite episode from season 2 (So far)? The Cutie Pox. **

**Favorite pony pairing? LyraxBonBon is my OTP in the pony fandom, with Discordia (Discord and Celestia) in a **_**very**_** close second. **

**Favorite song? Hm… At the moment I'll say 'Becoming Popular' just because there are so many amazing covers of it right now. **

**Okay, enough of that (though it would be interesting to see other people's responses to the above questions). A note about this story, it takes place a year and three months after the ending of 'Of Youkai, Life, and Other Things' and it's not going to go straight into the episodic plot-line (no jokes about the wording, please…). I feel like I need to build up to it, you know? **

**Another point is that this story will be more… **_**music-heavy**_** you could say? Not that every chapter will have a song, oh God no… Most chapters will have a playlist note, basically what song would go best with the atmosphere of the update. **

**But there will be some lyric usage from time to time. Especially with the brony community producing some of the best music I've heard in ages. Sigh…**

**Also, this story takes a more serious, darker tone in some chapters. The romantic, funny moments will still be there, don't worry. But yeah, just look out for that. **

**So, um… What else is there to say except that I hope you all enjoy this fic as much as you did the last one. Let's read, shall we? **

**Disclaimer – Naruto is the creation of Masashi Kishimoto, Hetalia is the creation of Hidekazu Himaruya, and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is the creation of Goddess Faust, I mean, Lauren Faust. **

**Playlist – **

'**Across the Border' by… Um… You know, I have **_**no**_** idea who sings the song, I just know that it's the theme for the game 'Tatsunoko vs. Capcom'. Oh yeah, look up the English version if you decide to listen to it. SAVE YOUR EARS!**

* * *

><p>The cry of a seagull rang out across the waves as three of the white and black seabirds soared just over the crystal blue waters. Their destination: a small town built onto the beach. It rested on the shoreline and had an impressive forest on one side as well as the majestic waterfall in the center.<p>

In the simple paved streets, demons of all types, animal, plant, spoke with each other, going about their business.

There was suddenly a loud, airy whistle piercing through the air. The sound was due to the new train station that had been built near the center of town during the past year.

"I don't know what the hell…" In the middle of a peach grove, fluffy white ears twitched at the sound of the whistle. Cat-demon and mother of nineteen Hidan Shiroi-Hoku narrowed his ruby eyes as he was working in the grove with his husband, "Possessed Tsunade into thinking that that damn train station was a good idea."

"It brings in tourists and money easier." Was the gruff reply from the strong, broad-shouldered stitch-demon Kakuzu Hoku as he hefted up a basket of the fresh fruit onto his shoulder, "It's not that bad, the animals have gotten used to it."

"Doesn't mean that _I_ have." The albino rolled his eyes as he helped carry another basket back to the house. While they were walking, Hidan abruptly asked, "Hey, what time is it?" Kakuzu looked at his wrist, at the watch that his eldest daughter had bought him,

"Almost 3, why?"

"Shit!" Hidan dropped the basket and the fruit and immediately grabbed the brunette's arm, shouting, "We gotta go, we gotta go!"

"What are you talking about?" Kakuzu frowned, "Ugh, Hidan! You're going to bruise the fruit!"

"Fuck the peaches!" The albino hissed, "Kiro, Kire, and Kira have a recital today! Jashin, if I miss this there's going to be hell to pay…"

* * *

><p>Indeed, the first graders of the Adamant Falls Primary Academy were to perform a recital of different songs and dances today to celebrate their school's 100th birthday.<p>

When Kakuzu and Hidan had finally managed to get to the school building, they barely stopped to acknowledge anyone as they tried to find seats in the crowded auditorium. Hidan was about to start shoving people out of their chairs when a call of,

"Hidan!" Caught his attention. It came from a blonde bird-demon in the front row. His name was Deidara, a skilled maker of cosmetics, and he sat next to a red-haired scorpion-demon: his fiancé Sasori, a fashionisto for the ages. "Over here, un!"

Kakuzu and Hidan quickly snatched up the seats before anyone could say otherwise, Hidan whispering "Thanks. Is everyone else here?" Deidara replied,

"Pretty much. Though Zetsu is all the way in the back because he gave up his seat _five _times just to be polite. Tobi's with him though, so it's not so bad, un. Then Sasuke and Naruto are somewhere in the crowd… Oh, and Ivan and Alfred had to come early to make sure that Mizuki and Alexandr were here on time."

"I still don't know why Mizuki didn't just want to stay with us while Kisame and Itachi went on that trip…" Hidan huffed, Kakuzu explaining,

"It's because he realized that our house is already crowded Hidan, get over it."

* * *

><p>A new train pulled up into the station, demons and creatures filing out into the seaside. Among them, two certain demons took a slower pace: appreciating the smell and sunshine of home. "I can't believe it's been three months." A calm, gentle voice stated.<p>

"Yeah," A deep, rough baritone replied, "Even the most luxurious locations can't compare to home." They soon began walking, their destination: Adamant Falls Primary Academy.

* * *

><p>After a painful singing performance from Sakon and Ukon (though no one wanted to say anything since their father Orochimaru was quickly angered and their mother Kabuto was too wasted on wine to care either way), Iruka walked up on stage and announced, "Thank you Sakon and Ukon, that was… something special. Ahem, our next performance is from a very good group of friends. May I introduce the Chakra-Mark Musketeers!"<p>

The dolphin-demon quickly moved off of the stage and the lights dimmed. Rose and cerulean shaded lights lit up the stage as a voice sang,

"_You can push yourself to the limit _

_Be strong, now jump with me… _

_You can fly over the rainbow with me _

_Close your eyes and just believe…"_

When the lights were all up, you could see eight children begin to dance on the stage as music started, cuing their excellent routine. During the course of the past year, Ongakuhana had grown even more into wonderful stage presence. Her voice, though it came from such a small body, seemed better suited for filling a concert hall.

But the audience was in for quite the show as Ongakuhana strolled across the stage, singing as the other children acted as her back-up dancers,

"_You used to hide… Behind another face… _

_At first I didn't… understand… _

_But then I saw… in you a kindred spirit… _

_I called your name and held out my hand…" _

The outfits that they all wore, the blue shirts and shorts with the matching CMM scarves, had all been designed by Kakuzu and Hidan's youngest daughter Kira, the small cat-demon doing her best to keep up with the hyped up, yet fun, choreography that had been set up by their friend.

Said friend was the small Baba Yaga Alexandr, adopted son of the Baba Yaga Ivan and the Trickster Spirit Alfred who was currently cheering his head off in the audience, "Go Alexandr! Come on Mizuki! Go! Go!" Alexandr had the gait and steps of an angel, the delicate moves that seemed to combine ballet with any dance he looked up.

"_When… _

_You looked in my eyes… _

_And I said…"_ Ongakuhana sang, turning to Kira for a second before she smiled and sang out,

"_Not another… _

_Thing… _

_Get in the way of saving those that you love…_

_Not a world… _

_Is there… _

_You can have stronger faith within your heart…"_

Kiro Hoku, the oldest of the young Hoku triplets, was doing his best to keep the tone of the performance via violin. He wasn't really good at anything that didn't include numbers (they found that out during rehearsals) but music turned out to be just up his alley with its rhythms and patterns…

And though Kira had created the outfits, her other older brother Kire had done wonders on their hair. Well, it _was_ his special talent after all. Though if it hadn't been for Saso, Sasori and Deidara's son, they wouldn't have been able to get all the fabric, dyes, and such that they had needed.

"_You can push yourself to the limit, _

_Be strong, now jump with me… _

_You can fly over the rainbow with me, _

_Close your eyes and just believe… _

Mizuki was probably the calmest out of the Chakra-Mark Musketeers. But then again, he was the calmest, most level-minded child you could find. However, it seemed that during these past three months the small otter-demon had gotten even quieter. But he was fine, as long as he had his best friend by his side: the hell-dog named Hun who jumped to the front of the stage and began… rapping, wait, _what_?

"_I got you when the going gets rough, yo! _

_No life as tough as this, love! _

_You may feel like you can't go on! _

_If we try, side by side, we'll survive, live or die! _

_Now you feeling my flow, what I mean, _

_No doubt that you're feeling like I do! _

_Don't let a chance like this pass by you! _

_A combo like you and me is meant to be! _

_Come on!"_

Ongakuhana _had_ to be a musical genius for her to find an outlet of music for the package-delivering hell-dog to excel in. At that moment, Ongakuhana and Kira joined hands and danced what could best be called 'a cute, li'l samba' as the plant-girl sang,

"_You can push yourself to the limit _

_Be strong and I… _

_You can fly over the rainbow with me _

_Close your eyes and I…" _

The rest of the song was a combination of Ongakuhana vocalizing and Kiro playing them out with the violin as they performed their last few dance steps. But right as the song ended, Mizuki looked over towards the back doors and saw something that caused his eyes to go wide in disbelief.

Without waiting for the audience to clap or boo or whatever, Mizuki jumped off the stage and ran as fast as he could to the back of the auditorium.

"What is going on?" Ivan asked before one of the other teachers turned on the lights revealing what had gotten Mizuki's attention: a very familiar shark-demon and weasel-demon.

"Kisame!" Kakuzu called out, Hidan and Deidara shouting,

"Itachi!"

* * *

><p>The largest table, and a side table for children, in the Clamshell's Buffet House had been reserved for the impromptu dinner party that our favorite group of demons were holding to celebrate the return of their friends: Kisame and Itachi taking a brief vacation for the past few months.<p>

Needless to say, Mizuki was happy to have the two back… Even though he wasn't showing it.

"How was your trip?" Zetsu asked, Itachi sighing,

"Nothing short of amazing."

"Tropis is really a great place," Kisame commented, "Next time I'm definitely splurging for a group trip."

When the waitress asked what everyone would have to drink, Itachi was the only one who didn't order something alcoholic. Actually, that wasn't the only thing. Kisame seemed a bit more… over-protective than usual. Like when a waiter brought over a plate of bread and picked up a butter-knife, the shark-demon rushed in front of the weasel-demon and demanded, "Watch where you point that thing, will you?"

* * *

><p>After a whole night of strange looks, Kisame looked to Itachi. After receiving a nod, he began, "We actually… have a surprise to share with all of you."<p>

"Yay!" Tobi clapped his hands, "Tobi loves surprises! Is it a puppy?" They all laughed at that before Itachi shook his head,

"No, it's not a puppy. And, actually…" He softly rubbed at his stomach, "_This_ surprise is going to take around six more months to arrive and—"

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!" Deidara chirped in excitement, "You're pregnant, un?" Itachi nodded, Kisame kissing his cheek before Ivan and Kakuzu stood and patted the bluenette on the back.

"Good job comrade!" Ivan chuckled, Kakuzu adding,

"Hopefully you'll get a maturity boost between now and when the baby's born, otherwise I might have to step in as the responsible uncle—"

"Shut up…" Kisame smiled, "But yeah, where's Mizuki? I need to tell him the news." As if on cue, the otter-demon walked by in an attempt to get to the dessert bar. "Mizuki!" Kisame called out, just for the child to reply,

"Yes baka-same?"

"Mizuki, you should stop calling your father that. Now, we wanted to tell you something special." Itachi shook his head, the otter-demon nodding for them to go on. "Well, in a few months you're going to get a new baby brother or sister."

"Oh, is that all?" Mizuki replied nonchalantly before going off for some chili pepper ice cream.

3… 2… 1…

"WHAT?"


	2. The First Blow

**A/N: Wow, reviews! Wonderful reviews! * Nomnomnom * Um, anyway. **

**Merry Christmas everyone! I just wanted to update early because, one: **

**SO MANY TYPOS! But in all honesty, trying to upload a fic while your mom is hassling you to eat your McDonald's and burn a CD for her isn't easy. And I just want to show my appreciation with this small gift. **

**Love you~! **

**Kisame - I'm scared. **

**TG- It's Christmas Eve and I am wiped, shut up! **

**Playlist- **

**Wavin' Flag by K'Naan. **

**Disclaimer - ...Nyeh. **

**Let's go!**

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><p>The world of Terram, the living place for all these fantastic creatures, was a beautiful land. But despite all the lush fields of grass, clean waters, and bountiful fauna, the single element that made it so lovely…<p>

Was its harmony. Its peace. There hadn't been a war in this land for eons and the ten Celestials were dire to keep it that way…

* * *

><p>In the far recesses of this realm, where everything was covered in ice and snow, deep in the dead of night… The sound of cracking glass could be heard: a golden, pulsing glow beginning to emanate in the night as a peal of feminine laughter echoed through the windy eve…<p>

* * *

><p>In Terram's deserts, in the regions that were so dry and windy that no creature could survive for too long, a lone figure could barely be made out through the whipping gales. A single, bushy tail curled around his body as eyes outlined in eye-liner watched the landscape with a scowl on their face.<p>

Ichibi No Shukaku's short, tan hair was being toyed with by the winds that he could have usually quelled without even batting an eye. Something here was messing around with his domain and the raccoon-deity needed to find out what.

Before he could even take a step forward, two massive fissures of sand and dirt shot out of the ground: each of them producing a large tree of vines in their wake.

"Trees in the desert?" Ichibi whispered right before the tree swung one of its branches and knocked the raccoon-deity unconscious.

* * *

><p>Konoha had a massive cemetery underneath its fair appearance. It was a beautiful place, worthy of being the resting place of the rich and noble and it was here that the Nibi No Nekomata spent most of her time: the cat-deity sitting in a circle of graves as she meditated.<p>

There was a rustle from in front of her.

Then from behind.

She gasped, her eyes wide behind her black shawl as she immediately backed away: not knowing what was going on, her two tails bristled up in uncertainty. Suddenly, a grey, skeletal hand shot out from the dirt in front of a tombstone.

"This can't be!" Nibi whispered in horror as the corpses and skeletons of those long passed began stumbling towards her, "The dead… coming to life?"

* * *

><p>As all of the Celestials would soon find out, some unknown power was messing with their domains, the very flow of nature. Yonbi had to stop three volcanoes from erupting at once, Gobi had to deal with plains turning into quicksand, there was a meteor shower that happened <em>during the day<em> that Shichibi was pouring through all of his books and spells to explain, all the trees and plants in Hachibi's gardens simultaneously died, anywhere that Kyuubi went, a fire would break out, and Juubi…

* * *

><p>"WHO THE FUCK RUINED MY CLOTHES?" The dolphin-deity shouted from the balcony of his mansion in Luminescent Valley, holding his newest outfits that had all changed into clashing colors in front of his eyes.<p>

* * *

><p>But, thankfully, smaller cities and towns had yet to experience such issues. Like in Adamant Falls, Itachi was standing in the large room across from Kisame's bedroom in the shark-demon's estate. He wasn't alone, Sasori and Deidara were looking through the empty room while Kisame was at work (water-watch didn't exactly <em>stop<em> just because he had left).

* * *

><p>"So Itachi," Sasori asked, "What direction were you thinking about going for the baby's room?"<p>

"I'm not sure," The weasel-demon admitted, ears drooping a bit, "It's still too early to determine the gender so I don't want to do a color that's too biased. Let's see…" He snapped his fingers before a large, worn tome appeared in front of him. It was the color of earthy clay, with a tribal drawing of a kangaroo on the front.

"What's that un?" Deidara asked, Itachi giving a slight smile in response,

"It's the Maternity Studies of The Great Kanga-Mage. She found and created all of the best skills and techniques for prenatal care and raising a healthy baby, so I _had_ to pick this up!" He opened it to a certain section before humming, "Purple is a gender-neutral color: it can either be masculine royal purple or feminine lavender." Sasori raised his hand, asking,

"How much of a budget do we have for this Itachi?"

"Well…" Itachi mused before he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small plastic card, explaining, "Kisame gave me his bank account card and told me to feel free to use it for whatever I needed. That's silly, isn't it? We don't need more than a few hundred for some paint and a crib—" The brunette was cut off when Sasori and Deidara rushed over to him, the redhead saying,

"Itachi, let's do some brainstorming, shall we?", as he brought out his finest book of designs and sketches.

* * *

><p>A few months later and things were still running like clockwork in Adamant Falls. One weekend, everyone had gathered into Kisame's house. The reason?<p>

"Kiriball!" Kisame's father whooped as he grabbed a couple of beers before sitting down on the couch next to his wife. The mermaid cheered,

"Let's go ASC!", taking one of the cans from the shark-demon's hands. Itachi was sitting on the reclining chair, being waited on hand and foot by the maids that Kisame had hired to take care of him… Despite how ridiculous he felt being treated like some damsel in distress.

"Kisame, I'm coming in to help!" He called, getting to his feet. Immediately said bluenette replied,

"No you're not! Sit back down, if you need anything tell the maids to get it!" Itachi groaned, frowning as he heard Mizuko, Hidan, and Deidara gently laughing at him. He had to admit, his pregnancy was beginning to show, but he could really do without being treated like a champagne glass.

"Itachi-donno," One of the maids asked as she walked over, "Did you want something to eat? Or maybe another pillow?" Itachi rolled his eyes, resting a hand on his stomach before relenting,

"Can I get a glass of tomato-juice please?" The maid nodded,

"With peppermint shavings and chocolate syrup again?" Itachi returned the nod, watching the maid walk away. The things that he was craving were so _bizarre_, he just hoped that the baby was getting any and all nutrients from it all.

* * *

><p>After all the food and drinks had been set up, everyone (including the maids, because Kisame was an awesome boss like that) sat around the living room to watch the Kiriball Championships. Kisame sat as close to Itachi as he could, making sure to give the weasel-demon and his unborn child their space. The children all sat around the floor, Mizuki sitting close to Itachi's legs, excitedly looking at the screen.<p>

Kisame, Kakuzu, Nokoru, and Mizuko whooped in excitement as the screen showed Sanbi No Same swimming up to the stage in the center of the sports-pool. The shark-deity had agreed to perform at the event since it was the first game of the season.

* * *

><p>At the Kiriball stadium in the tropical kingdom of Medal Palm, Sanbi waved out to where Rokubi was sitting in the audience before he gave the signal to the musicians on stage. Dressed in green outfits designed like palm leaves to reflect their home, the male and female demons danced around him before the shark-deity belted out,<p>

"_Give me freedom, _

_Give me fire! _

_Give me reason, _

_Take me higher! _

_See the champions _

_Take the field now! _

_Unify us, _

_Make us feel proud! _

_In the streets our _

_Heads are lifting! _

_As we lose our _

_Inhibitions! _

_Celebration_

_It surrounds us! _

_Every nation _

_All around us!"_

"_Playing forever young!"_ The tropical demons in the background sang,

"_Singing songs underneath the sun! _

_Let's rejoice in the beautiful game! _

_And together at the end of the day…"_ Sanbi jumped in, joining their dance,

"_We all say: _

_When I get older, _

_I will be stronger, _

_They'll call me freedom _

_Just like a waving flag! _

_And then it goes back! _

_And then it goes back! _

_And then it goes back! _

_And then it goes—_

_When I get older, _

_I will be stronger, _

_They'll call me freedom _

_Just like a waving flag! _

_And then it goes back! _

_And then it goes back! _

_And then it goes back! _

_And then it goes—" _

"_Whoa~oh~! _

_Whoa~oh~oh! _

_Whoa~oh~! _

_Whoa~oh~oh!"_

Sanbi loved to perform, that much could be seen as he danced together with his back-up dancers: colored fountains of water going up around them in different designs. Seeing the white-haired deity perform was always such a treat and everyone, either in the stadium or watching from their homes, was enjoying themselves.

Sanbi quickly moved towards center-stage, ready to sing the second verses. Abruptly, his eyes went wide: his hands reaching for his throat, coughing like he was being choked. Then, Sanbi No Same, deity of music and the seas… collapsed, unconscious, onto the stage.

"SANBI!" Rokubi screamed, teleporting to his husband's side before the paramedics could even be called. "Sanbi, wake up! WAKE UP!" As everyone near and far panicked at the sight, Sanbi could only lay there as if dead. But he was able to hear, beyond the clamors going on about him, a feminine voice whisper into his very soul:

"_My beloved… I've returned for you at last."_

* * *

><p>Though it was a bit hard on them, Itachi being six months pregnant and the weather system for Adamant Falls still in limbo, Kisame and Itachi made the trip to Konoha at the quickest opportunity possible.<p>

They were almost denied at the door to the Crystal Palace when a guard blocked Itachi's way inside. But when Kisame nearly broke the poor soul's arm, gritting out, "Rokubi No Raijuu's student and the second-in-command to Sanbi No Same are here, I _suggest_ that you get out of the way.", the guard nodded and opened the door.

"Rokubi-sama!" Itachi called out when they both walked through the castle halls. It took a moment before a weary call of,

"Itachi?", took their attention towards the weasel-deity coming down the staircase. Rokubi quickly teleported to the two demons and heaved a tired sigh, "Thank you for coming."

"Has Lord Sanbi's condition gotten any better?" Kisame winced at the fact that he probably sounded a bit insensitive, but he was really worried. Rokubi looked up the stairs before he explained,

"He's been unconscious since it happened. And I'm _still_ trying to figure out what could have caused this." The brunette deity stumbled on his feet, almost falling if Kisame weren't there to catch him.

"Have you been sleeping these past few weeks?" Itachi asked, Rokubi shaking his head,

"Sanbi's doing enough sleeping for the both of us. I'll sleep when he's awake."

"Rokubi-sama…" Itachi shook his head. Abruptly, there was a scream of agonized horror from upstairs.

"Sanbi!" Rokubi whispered, quickly teleporting the three of them upstairs before walking into the shark-deity's room, not before telling Kisame and Itachi, "Stay here." They _did_ stay, but Rokubi said nothing about looking inside.

What they saw shocked them: the other nine Celestials struggling to keep Sanbi in bed as he thrashed and snapped about from some unseen nightmare. "Sanbi, please!" Rokubi pleaded, "Calm yourself!" The response that he got was Sanbi flinging Gobi out of the window.

"Shit!" Kisame winced, "The fuck is going on in there?"

Yet no one could possibly have known what nightmares were happening in the mind in the white-haired deity…

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><p><strong>AN: **

**Eep. What's going on? What's happening? **

**Maybe if I get some reviews, I tell you. * wink * **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	3. The Threat Revealed

**A/N: You know what, I had a great big intro to this chapter. But the wi-fi around here keeps glitching! So may I present 'The Crappy Public Wi-Fi Update'. I just want to thank everyone who read and reviewed the last update (titled 'The Trollestia Update') but now we can find out what happened to Lord Sanbi. **

**Let's read. **

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><p>The sky was a miserable shade of darkened hues.<p>

The air was stagnant and bitter.

The only sounds were footsteps as a single figure walked down a rusty path.

"Where am I?" Sanbi asked as he walked across the decimated landscape. The ground here was rock solid and cracking, like a desert, and the skies were a sickly mix of black and green. He passed by a few struggling trees, each bearing shriveled up apples.

"Is anyone out there?" He yelled out, hoping for some sort of response. But he only received silence.

As he walked forward into the sickly land, he found an ocean. But it wasn't anything pleasant to his senses: the crevasse filled with pitch-black, sticky tar, decorated with dead fish and other sea creatures. "Gods above..!" He whispered, shrinking away from the disgusting image.

* * *

><p>With no other choice, Sanbi could only walk forward: seeing broken glass on the ground in place of grass and leaves and jolting every so often when a fire would randomly break out.<p>

Wait a minute; he saw something on the horizon. What was it? Actually, as he got closer, there appeared to be more than one of the somethings. However, when he got close enough to recognize what he was looking at, his stomach and heart plummeted.

"KISAME!" He shouted, rushing to the shark-demon's lacerated body. "Oh gods, oh gods, what happened here?" The white-haired deity was almost hyper-ventilating, his breathing getting worse as he saw the bluenette's blood on his hands and the corpses of the rest of the Royal Guard strewn about the field.

It was worse when he looked behind him and saw the decimated remains of cities and villages from all through Terram. "What the hell is going on here..?" Finally, the feminine voice from earlier giggled,

"_Isn't it beautiful? Just a bit of renovating that I've done, nothing too much."_

"Damnable whore!" Sanbi stood, ignoring the blood on his chest and hands, "What have you done?"

"_You're such a charmer,"_ The voice replied sarcastically, _"But not to worry, I did this so we could be together once more!"_

"I was _never_ together with you!" Sanbi gritted out, "Get it through your thick skull, you unreasonable bitch!"

"_I know you love me Sanbi,"_ The voice continued, _"That's why I took care of those nine nuisances for the sake of our love."_

"Nine?" Sanbi whispered, confused. Just then, nine spiky trees shot up from out of the harsh earth. Sanbi roared in tortured distress as he saw the bodies of the other Celestials tied to each one…

And when his eyes lay upon Rokubi's bloodied, broken face…

* * *

><p>Back in the real world, Yonbi and Kyuubi were forcing Sanbi back into bed as Shichibi prepared a needle with a sedative. However, abruptly, the white-haired deity stopped his struggles. "Sanbi?" Rokubi asked, the other deities keeping up their secure state.<p>

They were shaken to hear a pained sob break through the shark-deity's clenched teeth. But they were downright frightened when he said the following words:

"She's back… Gods above, _why did she come back?_"

"NO!" Hachibi bellowed out, clutching at his hair and rushing out of the room. Before either Kisame or Itachi could ask what had happened, Juubi No Iruka frowned as he walked towards them.

"Not a word," Juubi harshly whispered to Kisame and Itachi, "To _anyone _about what you heard here today.", before he shut the door to Sanbi's room.

* * *

><p>It would be a few weeks after the Kiriball incident, the Celestials insisting to every news channel and reporter that Sanbi was fine and that there was nothing to worry about, when another unexpected event would occur.<p>

Ivan was putting the final touches on dinner that evening when there was a sharp rapping at his door. "Who could it be at this hour?" He asked, gesturing for Alexandr to stay put. The Baba Yaga slowly walked to the door, wiping his hands as he did, before opening it…

And being brought face to face with his father and his two sisters, the three looking like they had been through hell and back.

* * *

><p>Ivan's father was an old Baba Yaga, his long, grey hair and beard not being able to cover the fierceness in his being. Ivan handed him a bottle of vodka and a glass before sitting down on the opposite loveseat with Alfred, looking at everyone in his home: his father, his sisters, his wife, and his son.<p>

"Tell me again," He calmly stated, "What has happened." When he looked at Katyusha, the short-haired Baba Yaga burst into tears. His younger sister averted her icy gaze all together, not wanting to even touch upon the matter. It was finally Winter, Ivan's father, who solemnly stated,

"The GoldStar Barrier… has been shattered."

The cup in Ivan's hand fell to the floor, shattering upon impact.

* * *

><p>"Ivan!" The Baba Yaga turned as he heard his name being called in the shopping center. It turned out to be Hidan, the cat-demon yelling, "What the hell is going on? All these Baba Yagas are flooding into our neck of the woods out of nowhere!"<p>

"Not that I don't mind hiring extra work for the farm," Kakuzu huffed, "But seriously, what's happening in your neck of the woods?" Ivan sighed, picking up a shopping basket before he stated,

"If you would come to the Library later, I will be explaining everything there."

* * *

><p>"I wish you could all see this because," A reporter demoness began as she spoke into a microphone, conveying what she was seeing to other demons who could only hear the story on the radio, "Because I'm not sure if I could properly explain what's going on here! But the GoldStar Barrier does have a <em>huge<em> crack in it near the village of Glaciu! Of course, we aren't being allowed near the village because of the influx of humans that have invaded."

In the Adamant Falls Library, the group of demons along with Ivan, Alfred, and Ivan's family sat around the radio, trying to get a better handle on what was going on near the top of the world.

"But let me tell you," The reporter spoke again, "You can still see the smoke from the fires billowing into the air, still hear the screams from the village—"

"Turn it off!" Ivan growled, Kisame turning the device to a lower volume so his friend could speak. The Baba Yaga combed his ragged finger-nails through his hair, trying to catch his breath.

"Whenever you're ready big guy." Alfred whispered, clasping a hand over Ivan's shoulder, hoping to calm him down a bit. It seemed to work a bit, Ivan nodding for the Trickster Spirit to sit down.

"The GoldStar Barrier…" Ivan began, "Is the gate that keeps our world separate from the world of humans. For centuries it has been serving its purpose… However…"

"The Barrier, it is weak in a few places," Katyusha continued for her brother, "That is why it is not odd for Baba Yagas to eat human flesh from time to time." Deciding to cut the bull, Winter stood up and stated,

"But humans are violent and stupid. They do not seem to want to open their minds to unity or peace." Naruto suddenly interjected,

"Well, you guys do eat some of them—" Winter snapping back,

"They try to conquer us if we don't! Listen to what is happening to Glaciu! It is a disaster!" Abruptly, a scream echoed out through the radio.

"What just happened?" Deidara gulped, Kisame turning the radio up just in time to hear the reporter panic,

"Oh gods, what the fuck is happening here? Okay, okay, come on, you can keep it together… Ah!" She yelped when the sound of an explosion occurred behind her, "The humans are attacking the neighboring city of Ici, where the news company had the _excellent_ idea of basing us for the time being! AH!" There was another explosion before the reporter snapped, "Fuck this shit, I'm bailing! Wait, come back! … What do you mean 'no'? They're right behind us, you cowardly son of a—"

The transmission cut off.

"Mr. Winter," Kisame spoke up, "Just how dangerous are these humans? What can we expect?" The old Baba Yaga shook his head, keeping his gaze at the floor,

"Let us hope that they never leave the winter continents. Gods help us if they do."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, in Konoha (in the library of the Celestials' Crystal Palace, to be exact), Sanbi was almost pulling his hair out, stress lines appearing on his face as he roared, "I SHOULD HAVE KILLED THAT STUPID CUNT WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE!"<p>

"How the _hell_ would that have helped us Sanbi?" Rokubi snapped at his husband's outburst, "Knowing _her_," The weasel-deity frowned as he looked towards the window that led to the gardens surrounding the palace, "She has been planning this for eons."

"Fucking bitch!" Sanbi gritted his teeth, slamming a fist against the library shelves: books falling to the floor. Rokubi frowned, using his magic to place the books back in their proper places. "Sorry." Sanbi shook his head, "I thought we were done with this shit, Rokubi! Hell," He narrowed his dark eyes, "We _should _have been done with this."

"Don't you bring that conversation up again Sanbi No Same, lest I make you regret doing so." Rokubi growled, just for the shark-deity to rush over, in the blink of an eye, and seethe out,

"The pain… that this _bitch_ has put me through… You cannot begin to comprehend." Rokubi remained silent, save for the crackles of electricity appearing around him.

"Try me." The brunette frowned. But then Sanbi shook his head, walking away from his wife,

"What the hell are we doing? Fighting each other…"

"It seems that all this _chaos_ is clouding our judgment." Rokubi sighed, walking forward to hug his husband from behind, "It's taking our attention away from what really matters."

"Right," Sanbi nodded, "Wiping those damn humans out."

"Sanbi!" Rokubi shook his head, walking away, "Violence isn't the answer for this! Are you listening to me?" Sanbi had begun to leave, shaking his head and giving a sad smile,

"I did things your way last time, Rokubi. Look where it's gotten us."

* * *

><p>Another month would pass, Juubi insisting to one and all that everything was going to be fine. He even offered a sizable donation to cities and villages who would take in refugees.<p>

Needless to say, the measure was seen in a very positive light. And it wasn't like the refugees didn't want to work or be lazy, most of them took work where they could get it (Natalia had taken up security work, Winter took a shift at the Weather Factory, and Katyusha helped tutor children at the Primary School).

But despite how much everyone wanted to go about their everyday business, there was a sense of foreboding in the air that caused mothers to bring their children in early and lock their doors.

* * *

><p>"Then, the princess let her long, golden hair flow from the window," Itachi's voice read out as he was laying in Kisame's bed one evening, "The prince caught it and began to climb up, up, and <em>up<em> the tall tower, trying to reach the beautiful maiden above."

"Not that I don't love your voice 'Tachi," Kisame grumbled as he rolled over towards the weasel-demon, "But how much longer are you going to read? I have work tomorrow…" The brunette rolled his eyes, picking up the Maternity Studies of The Great Kanga-Mage and waving it in front of Kisame's face,

"According to this, reading to a baby while it's still in the womb is crucial to development. So you're just going to have to deal with a bed-time story then."

"Why couldn't it have been something other than fairy tales?" Kisame gave an exasperated sigh, though he was still smiling. The shark-demon leaned over, laying his head against Itachi's stomach and gently speaking, "Hello in there..! I'm more than sure that you're going to grow up a strong and smart baby. With Itachi being your mommy, I wouldn't expect anything less."

"But what about the big, strong comedian," Itachi huffed, "Who's interrupting story-time?" He was about to say something more when he blinked, stayed quiet for a second, then stated, "I'm really hungry." Kisame rolled his eyes before getting out of bed and asking,

"What do you want?"

"Chocolate pudding…" If Itachi had stopped there, things would have been slightly normal, but the brunette kept on, "With ketchup… Oh, and pickles if we have them."

* * *

><p>That explained why one of the maids found Kisame almost falling asleep at the stove later that evening. "Sir, what are you doing?" The shark-demon shook his head, trying to wake himself up,<p>

"Making chocolate-pudding."

"But…" The poor girl scratched at her head, trying to figure this out, "_Why_ are you making chocolate-pudding?" Kisame could only chuckle, sleepiness and the comical tone of this situation getting to him,

"Because I've lost control of my life."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**The whole humans being the antagonists for this saga thing... I think I've been watching too many Hayao Miyazaki movies. **

**And yep, I brought the chocolate pudding meme back. **

**Thanks for reading, please review!**

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	4. Burning Leaves

**A/N: Hey everyone, sorry for the late update. It was a combination of lack of wi-fi (again) and the fact that I've been uber busy trying to play through Skyward Sword (that game is so AWESOME, seriously, I've cried on some of the cutscenes I've gotten to so far. I'm still thanking my mom for going half in on it with so I could afford it for Christmas...) But anyway, let's get back to business. **

**Mucho thanks to Waterbomb22, FMJ26, YaoiPhox, and MidnightShadowGhost. **

**Playlist for chapter- 'Pane dhiria' by Kaito Shione.**

**Let's read.**

* * *

><p>Zetsu was tending to the forest animals, as he usually did, one sunny morning. He was trying to help a family of chipmunks gather some nuts for their storage and had gotten a basket full of chestnuts, acorns, and almonds, a sudden chill racked through the plant-demon's frame; the basket falling to the ground.<p>

"**You feel that?"** He heard Black Zetsu ask in his mind before he slowly nodded, looking due east. With a voice that was hollow in pain, Zetsu clutched at his heart and whispered,

"The forests are dying…"

* * *

><p>Indeed, in the far east where there were forests and trees as far as the eye could see, the GoldStar Barrier had shattered a considerable fraction. The sound of marching could be heard along with that of breaking glass, strange figures cloaked in grey and black moving across the forest floor. Every so often, one of them would toss a jar of oil at a tree and follow it with a lit torch: sending flames roaring up towards the sky in an attempt to clear their path.<p>

Animals and demons alike ran through the burning jungle, urgently trying to save their lives and belongings. Some mothers even left their own children as they tried to flee the flames and conquering forces.

Nearly a third of the forest had been scorched away, with no sign of stopping, when someone came to intervene.

The flames licked at his long, verdant hair, golden eyes narrowing from the intense heat, Hachibi No Hachimata rushed straight into the _chaos_ of the situation. This was his _home_, his realm; the inhabitants of this jungle were his _children_. He had to try to save them.

But his only ready way of defense was to plant and wait. He could fight, sure, but it shouldn't have to come to that.

That was his hope as he began to work, spreading plant seeds all about and beckoning them to grow…

Every time that a tree collapsed to the floor or a tree erupted into flames, Hachibi felt his heart sink further into the abyss. He didn't stop his actions, however; plant and endure, plant and endure…

Yet, he had just laid a row of flower seeds out when he nearly collapsed where he stood. The screams… of both the trees and the demons being slain… they were becoming too much.

This wasn't an attack.

This was a _massacre_.

The flames were soon becoming more and more of a barrier, Hachibi coughing in the smoke, his eyes stinging from the heat and light of the flames, and his ears ringing from all of the _noise…_

Why would humans attack _his _forests? They depended on his domain as well, didn't they—

The snake-deity's eyes widened as he realized just what was going on here.

* * *

><p>In the center of this jungle was a tree. She was a beautiful, titanic being of nature: her branches and leaves covering most of the jungle and providing home for many. It was actually in her boughs that the tree-top city of Yohgakure was built.<p>

And it was here were the majority of the invaders were hard at work trying to cut the tree down.

"NO!" Hachibi screamed, rushing to stop the humans trying to cut down the massive tree. They ignored the snake-deity, forcing the massive saw back and forth: splinters and saw dust piling from their work.

Her groans of agony… Oh gods, they were unbearable!

Hachibi moved as fast as he could, trying to stop the damage before it reached an irreparable state.

But…

He was too late.

With a sickening snap and an echoing screech that echoed over the ash-filled winds, the tree began to fall: leaves fluttering to the ground as birds and other creatures tried to escape the death-trap that their home had become.

And when the massive body fell to the jungle floor, actually snapping in half from the impact, Hachibi's body went numb; his eyes rolling up into his skull as he collapsed to the ground in a fatal faint.

* * *

><p><em>Smoke… <em>

_So much smoke… _

_And ashes… _

_The smell of charcoal was suffocating… _

Hachibi's golden eyes slowly struggled to open, the ashes caking on his once-vibrant green skin. Looking up to see a dismal grey sky that had once been a clear blue, Hachibi immediately shot up to see what had become of his domain.

"…" He had no words. Nothing could have described the shattering of his very being that he felt upon seeing what had become of the forest.

There was nothing left. Only charred stumps and burning leaves remained of the vast realm. It was so _still_, no signs of life anywhere to be seen or heard.

Suddenly, Hachibi fell over: coughing out splashes of blood from inside of his stomach, the injury on his body a slim comparison to what had just happened here.

Howls of agony filled the ash-covered plain.

* * *

><p>Back in Konoha, the other nine Celestials waited for Hachibi to return. They had all felt the snake-deity's pain but had no idea the extent of what had happened.<p>

"What's that?" Gobi asked as he saw something walking in the distance. Shichibi gasped when he realized,

"It's Hachibi!"

The snake-deity slowly walked, as if in a death-march, covered in ashes that flaked off of him as he moved. He didn't move his eyes from their downcast position once, not even when he was climbing up the stairs. "Hachibi…" Shichibi asked when the green-haired deity made it up.

At first it seemed that Hachibi hadn't heard the badger-deity speak. But he suddenly looked up, bags underneath his eyes and tear-streaks marking his already messy face.

"The forest is dead." He stated, plain as day.

"Humans…" Sanbi growled, clenching his fist; his eyes darting towards the gardens for a second. But before he could react, Hachibi had slithered up to him, like the snake he was, and had his head in a vice-like grip. It wasn't threatening, he just wanted to make sure he had the shark-deity's attention.

"I want that bitch's _head_…" Hachibi harshly whispered into Sanbi's ear, "On a silver _platter_. I want you to burn her body into ashes like she did my precious forests!"

"Hachibi…" Shichibi whispered, trying to calm his husband down. But Hachibi ignored him,

"So many lives! Gone! For what?" Hachibi let go of the shark-deity before shaking his head, "What's the point of fighting it anymore? We're at war!"

"Hold your tongue!" Juubi huffed, "Such vulgarities aren't called for Hachibi!"

"Stick it up your ass!" Hachibi hissed to the dolphin-deity, "I don't care how many humans have to die but my domain shall be avenged! It seems that out of _all_ of us…" He panted before continuing, "Only _Sanbi_ has the right train of thought for this! And, of course, it doesn't surprise me!" He stopped there, glaring at Rokubi before he stormed off, hissing, "We should have killed her when we had the chance!" As the green-haired deity left, Rokubi called out,

"Violence only begets violence! You're playing into her hands, damn it, why can't you two see that?" Rokubi wanted to say more, but before anyone could speak, Hachibi walked out of the palace carrying a large, golden box.

"What the hell are you doing with _that_?" Kyuubi yelped. But Hachibi didn't speak as he set the box down. Then, in a voice so gentle that it gave Nibi goose bumps, he commanded,

"_Wreak my vengeance…"_ His eyes shined for a second before he opened the case, much to Rokubi and Shichibi's dismay, releasing trillions of parasprites into the skies. At first glance, this would have been seen as an act of insane treason, but upon closer inspection, Hachibi was using his chakra to influence the pestilence's path.

Their location: the GoldStar Barrier.

* * *

><p>All over Terram, demons that had some sort of tie to the forests and the earth couldn't stop crying: in Adamant Falls, Ongakuhana suddenly went into a crying tantrum, tears falling from her wide, orange eyes.<p>

The animals who lived at Zetsu's house tried to console the plant-demon as he sobbed in his living room.

And when the radio relayed the news that Yohgakure was no more… Deidara's sobs could be heard echoing through town from the Boutique.

* * *

><p>"Rokubi-sama told me," Itachi said as he met Hidan, Deidara, and Alfred at a café for lunch one day during the week, "That Hachibi has been sending wave after wave of parasprites over the GoldStar Barrier."<p>

"If it kills all of the humans off, I don't care un." Deidara glared into his coffee, "Thanks to the humans, I no longer have a place to call a birthplace." They were silent for a moment, no one wanting to touch the giant elephant in the room, or the bird-demon with his hair and feathers unkempt from stress at the table as it were. But then Hidan cleared his throat and asked,

"Have the Celestials decided what they're going to do about this? Because, frankly, I'm siding with Sanbi and Hachibi on this: we should fight back!"

"Hey now," Alfred set his burger down, the Trickster adjusting his glasses, "I know things are looking dim, but violence ain't the answer!" Itachi nodded,

"Alfred's right. I'm sure that the humans will stop their assault soon and the Celestials will close the barrier. Everything's going to be fine." The weasel-demon took a bite of the fruit-salad on the table, whispering, "Everything will be… fine."

* * *

><p>The next morning the humans launched a simultaneous attack. The residents of Adamant Sea City awoke to find their ways to the surface blocked off by pitch darkness.<p>

The humans had set massive barrel after massive barrel to float in the ocean, each seeping tar into the sea-waters.

As if that wasn't enough, the plains were being attacked from, believe it or not, it seemed to come from above and below at the same time.

The citizens of Nyanopolis were being forced to evacuate as their town was being bombed from above by what seemed to be skinny, steel vessels that bellowed out smoke as they dropped firebombs below: destroying buildings and scattering cat-demons here and there.

And in the plains, the Trickster Spirits were on high alert. But no matter how hyper-aware they were, groups of them would be swallowed up from the ground: strange machines that resembled gnarled up gophers swallowing them up.

* * *

><p>The entire day Hidan and Alfred didn't go anywhere that didn't have a radio nearby, desperate to hear what was going on with their loved ones. "Why won't they just fight back?" Hidan hissed, narrowing his eyes every time a scream pierced through the radio.<p>

Alfred was just silent, praying to the Great Sky-Mother to protect his parents. He needed to get to a phone so he could call Matthew and make sure he was okay but the only city that had that kind of technology was Adamant Sea City. And he couldn't get there without a BubblePort pass.

Just then, Kisame and Ivan burst into the library where the cat-demon and the Trickster were sitting, Ivan stating to Alfred, "Come on, you are needing to make that phone-call."

"What the hell is going on out there?" Hidan yowled before picking up his satchel and walking off, saying, "I need to get home; all this has to have my kids panicking right now." When the cat-demon walked out of ear-shot, Kisame shook his head,

"He's the one panicking. But come on, let's go."

* * *

><p>Sasuke frowned as he looked at the letter he had just coughed out that morning. It had been a week since the attack on the plains and deserts, and apparently Yonbi No Sokou, four-tailed serpent-deity, was calling for every dragon in Terram to assemble at Mt. Pyrus: the biggest volcano in the land.<p>

"Should I go?" He asked Itachi as he was helping his brother shelve some new books. Itachi stayed quiet for a moment, thinking about what this meeting could possibly entail. Finally, the weasel-demon sat down and replied,

"You might as well. If it's one of the Celestials calling for all of you to meet them, then they must have something important that needs to be heard."

"Right," The dragon nodded, looking around the library, "So let me just get a map to Pyrus and then tomorrow I'll head out."

"You should see Naruto before you leave otouto." Itachi calmly stated, reaching for a bottle of pomegranate juice on the table. Sasuke handed it to him, asking,

"Why's that?"

"So he won't worry." Itachi explained, the smallest smile curling at his lips.

* * *

><p>The next morning found Sasuke walking around Adamant Falls, looking for a certain blonde Kitsune. He had been looking for around thirty minutes, interrogating people and fleeing crowds of fan girls, before he managed to catch a glance of five, fluffy tails going into <em>Swirl<em>.

"Naruto!" He called out, following the blonde into the bakery. Naruto blinked and turned around before smiling,

"Hey Teme, what's up?" The navy-bluenette winced a bit at the nickname, but it soon passed as his eyes got their fill of the beautiful creature in front of him.

"Oh, right." He shook his head, snapping himself out of his trance, "I'm leaving for Yonbi's dragon conference, so I wanted to make sure I saw you before I left."

"Aw, that's sweet!" Tobi called out from the counter, Sasuke snapping,

"Stay out of this Tobi!" However, Naruto only laughed,

"He's right though, but…" He hummed, "There's a conference for dragons? Uncle Kyuu hasn't told me about anything like that in his recent letters…"

"Yonbi probably hasn't told anyone about it," Sasuke offered before he turned to leave, "See you guys in a few days!"

"Write me!" Naruto called out just as the dragon shifted and flew off.

* * *

><p>The air around Mt. Pyrus was thick and clouded, smelling of sulfur from the volcanoes below. Sasuke scrunched up his nose as he tried to find a place to land: finally seeing other dragons conversing on a plateau below, he quickly descended and shifted back into normal form before he began to look around.<p>

There were dragons from all over Terram here: there was the Volcanis dragon that had almost covered Adamant Falls in smoke with its snoring, there was the water-dragon that they had met on the eve of Tsukuyomi's almost conquest, even the make-up consultant of that fashion diva Feliks Pink, Wang Yao, was here.

Also, there was… Sasuke growled as he saw that prick Sai, the heir of the Lunar Dragon Kingdom, standing across the way with a few of his attendants. Well, it seemed as if he was just going to have to stand here alone until this conference started and—

"Sasuke." Said dragon gulped and turned towards the owner of the familiar voice, coming face to face with his father. "I was hoping to see you here." Fugaku stated as he clasped a hand on Sasuke's shoulder. Sasuke nodded a bit before he asked,

"Father, have you heard anything about what we're supposed to be doing here?"

"No, not yet." The older Uchiha stated, "And I haven't seen Yonbi around either. Strange…"

* * *

><p>Back in Adamant Falls, Naruto walked into GlazeFeather Boutique after he had finished running Sasori and Deidara's errands for them. After he set the groceries and fabrics down, the blonde decided to check on something.<p>

Reaching into his sleeve, Naruto pulled out a piece of paper, a quill, and a small jar of ink before he quickly scribbled out:

'Dear Uncle Kyuubi,

Sorry to bother you, I know you and the other Celestials are probably busy right now. But I had to ask, do you know anything about this dragon conference that Lady Yonbi is hosting?'

The blonde exhaled a rush of orange flames and sent the letter off, hoping for a speedy response. His wish was granted when he coughed out his uncle's response and quickly opened it up. However, his eyes widened, his body collapsing to his knees as he read,

'What conference? As I'm writing this, Yonbi is sitting right next to me.'

* * *

><p>It happened faster than anyone could have comprehended: all of the dragons had been standing around, waiting, when suddenly, a small army of dark-cloaked figures jumped out of nowhere. Before any of the dragons could react or run, the humans launched a flurry of nets composed of a strange sort of material.<p>

Of course, a dragon's first reaction would be to see if they shift and use their size to break the nets. Fugaku and Sasuke tried to break free from their binds, just for the nets to slice into their scales.

"RELEASE US THIS INSTANT!" Fugaku roared, fangs bared and looking as fierce as he could muster. But the humans, for the reason that they couldn't understand him or they just didn't care, ignored him.

One of the humans, who seemed to be the leader, walked up to the black dragon and pulled out a strange, curved blade. Without any hesitation, they surged it forward and back: ripping away one of Fugaku's scales.

"FATHER!" Sasuke screamed as his father's pained roars filled the air. The human inspected the scale that he had taken, crimson still beading at the edge. They gave a strange grunt, the other humans in the area producing their own knives and even hammers before walking forward.

The din of agonized roars rang out through the mountains.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**Thanks for reading, please review! They motivate me to take breaks from Skyward Sword and actually get back to writing! **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	5. Down To The Wire

**A/N: Hey, look who's back! So, after beating Skyward Sword (took me a week), trying to play Prince of Persia but gettign so pissed off at the game that you throw it against a wall and say fuck it (that game has an unfair difficulty curve the size of J-Lo's ass, I swear), and working on part 1 of my '80 Top Fanfcitions of 2011' video, I finally finished this week's update which I shall title 'The Some Games Should Stay on Their Original Systems' Update. **

**I don't know why, but the end of thic chapter got kind of... Depressing? Is that the word? **

**Anyway, thank you to elric0sis, YaoiPhox, KanameAngel, FMJ26, , Zetsu's Rose, and Waterbomb22. **

**Let's go!**

* * *

><p>Juubi found that he was having more and more trouble quelling the masses that came to see what was going on in the world. As of right now, he was up on the highest balcony of the Crystal Palace looking over all of the concerned parties and relations to the dragons who had been kidnapped by the human forces.<p>

"Now…" The dolphin-deity brushed some of his golden hair to the side, "I know that we're all worried about the missing dragons and—" Mrs. Uchiha struggled to push her way through the crowd, screaming,

"Where are they? Where are my husband and my son?"

"Now, now Mrs. Uchiha…" Juubi gave a nervous chuckle, "Calm yourself and allow me to speak—"

"All you Celestials do is talk," Shouted a young jiangshi **( 1 ) **(Asian-esque vampire), "When are you actually going to do something, da ze?"

"Well, I…" Juubi cleared his throat. He never really _was_ good with dealing with anger… Unless it came from him. "You see…"

"Juubi." That was Sanbi's voice. The shark-deity pushed his brother aside and addressed to one and all, "The humans have launched their latest attack on us: kidnapping any and all dragons that went to this supposed conference." The bluenette waited for the screams and gasps to subside before he continued, "It would be unfair of me to ask any of you to calm down or tell you not to worry, but I need patience so I can come up with a plan to rescue them."

* * *

><p>"Shh…" Kisame whispered as he held Itachi close, the weasel-demon sobbing his eyes out (the situation of his baby brother being missing <em>and<em> pregnancy hormones were making the poor Uchiha into a wreck).

"Why Sasuke? He's so young, why did this have to happen to someone like him?"

"Calm down 'Tachi," Kisame sighed, "You're going to make the baby sick with all your stress."

"The baby…" Itachi sniffled, resting a hand on his now pronounced stomach before he broke into another bout of sobs, "What if Sasuke never gets to see his niece? What if she has to grow up without an uncle?"

"Oh Itachi…" The bluenette shook his head, pressing a gentle kiss to the weasel-demon's temple. "I'm sure that the Celestials won't take too long to make up a plan."

* * *

><p>Three days later, Sanbi and Rokubi's fighting about what course of action to take echoed all throughout Konoha like a thunderstorm rolling across the plains.<p>

Sanbi insisted that they needed to erect an army to take the fight to the humans, but Rokubi insisted that such a plan would be disastrous: that they should wait and see if the dragons could fight back.

* * *

><p>"What the hell is taking the Celestials so long?" Alfred snapped as he slammed his fists against a table in <em>Swirl<em>, "It's been almost a week and the dragons and Tricksters are still missing!"

"Maybe they're in a dead-lock?" Tobi guessed as he served the group a round of coffee. Kakuzu shook his head,

"No, Lord Sanbi's proposition is probably being outweighed by the rest. And knowing him, all hell is breaking loose in Konoha because of it."

"They should just go to war," Hidan took a sip of his coffee (or rather, hot milk with a drop of coffee in it), "Even in the best gardens, you have to take out any and all threats to the well-being of the majority." Alfred almost piped up,

"Violence isn't—"

"Can it!" Kisame, Hidan, and Kakuzu snapped at the young Trickster.

* * *

><p>But unbeknownst to everyone, in the darkness of that night, a lone creature would make the long, lonely trip to Pyrus. The creature turned out to be a large, blonde fox with five tails whishing behind him as he ran.<p>

It was a harsher run than what he was used to, the leather straps carrying bottles and jars weighing him down through the long distance, but Naruto wasn't going to let simple hardships like that deter him: not when he was on a mission.

* * *

><p>"<em>Kit," Kyuubi smiled as he ruffled his nephew's hair, "Do you know about Fox-Magic?" The blonde looked up, shaking his head. "Well, basically since foxes, as wonderful as we are, are kind of limited to working with the fire element, we've made a way to work with other magics… In small amounts, of course." <em>

"_Uncle Kyuu," Naruto cleared his throat, "Why did you ask me to come to Konoha?" The fox-deity sighed, standing up to look out of the window. A soft breeze was blowing, his vermillion hair rippling in the shifting air before he stated, _

"_You have to go save your friend." _

"_Sasuke?" Kyuubi nodded, _

"_If I leave Konoha, Rokubi's going to bitch, bitch, _bitch_ at me for it. Hell, he already thinks ill of me for being on Sanbi's side in all of this. So," The vermillion-haired fox smiled, "Don't worry, you're my nephew; I wouldn't put this on you if I wasn't sure that you could do it. So… Let me teach you a few tricks of the trade."_

* * *

><p>Thus Naruto was armed with only a few jars of fox-magic spells and his uncle's blessing as he snuck into the human settlement on Mt. Pyrus.<p>

Swiftness and quietness were key as he climbed up the crudely designed and marked wooden fences that surrounded the area. Once he was on top, being careful to keep a precarious balance, the young Kitsune stayed as quiet as possible as one of his tails uncovered one of the jars. With his blue eyes keyed in on one of the cloaked figures across the way, Naruto poured the fine powder of the jar over himself: jumping down when it was done.

His soft, orange body landed in the bushes beneath the fence… but he walked out as an exact replica of one of the cloaked humans.

'_It seems like the replica spell works…'_ Naruto thought as he walked through the huts and tents of the humans, none of them seeming to pay him any mind.

* * *

><p>At least until he came to the roped off area where they were keeping the dragons. The humans standing guard there pushed him aside when he tried to get in. And though the replica spell made him <em>look<em> like a human, he didn't know how to _speak_ like one.

So, instead of pushing his luck, he stole away to a secluded corner and shook off the first spell before using another one: this one making him invisible.

"Wow…" The blonde whispered, looking right through his own hand. "Wait, I should hurry up before this one times out."

* * *

><p>By sheer luck and the gods' graces, the Kitsune climbed under the ropes cutting off the dragons from the rest of the encampment.<p>

"Sasuke?" Naruto whispered once he was confident that no one else was around. All around he saw dragons forced into cages that were too small and caked in a red substance that could only be blood. "Sasuke..?"

There was a slight movement from the left.

The Kitsune moved closer, sniffing the air and asking out once more, "Sasuke? Is that you?" The cage was a bit larger than the others, but it was still stained in blood. Naruto felt his heart sink at the sight of its captive.

Sasuke, who was one of the handsomest dragons you could see, had had _so_ many of his shining blue scales torn from his body. You could see the sheer exhaustion in the young dragon's eyes and when he hissed out at the blonde, blood streamed from his mouth from all of his fangs that had been kicked out. "Oh gods, Sasuke, what did they do to you?"

"You couldn't even imagine…" Sasuke hissed again.

"Can't you shift?" Naruto asked, looking at the cages, "You could probably squeeze through the bars." But Sasuke only shook his head before opening his mouth, blood dripping to the ground as he spoke,

"We can't… even the lightest movement causes these ropes to tear into our skin." The navy-blue dragon hissed in pain as he tried to readjust himself, a splash of red hitting the floor. "It hurts to breathe… It hurts to move…" With another pained sound, Sasuke collapsed to the floor of the cage: wheezing and panting.

"Sasuke!" Naruto whispered, looking around before he snapped his fingers. In a poof of orange, he had appeared inside of the cage next to the injured dragon. "Don't you die on me Teme," The Kitsune muttered, looking around the cage until his eyes landed on the thinner than hair rope that had Sasuke bound to the cage, "There has to be _something_ in what Uncle Kyuu taught me…"

"_When in doubt," The fox-deity had offered, "Burn it out!"_

The blonde took the thin strand in his hands, wincing as even the lightest brush of it cut into his palms, before he gently exhaled a plume of white flame, fox-fire. The effect was immediate; the strands turned brittle and broke away from the dragon's battered body.

At first, Sasuke didn't notice that he was free. But when he slowly lifted his head to see if Naruto was still there and he didn't feel any pain from the gesture, he immediately tackled his body against the cage bars: the weak metal bending and breaking from the assault.

"I should go free the others," Naruto explained, rushing over to another cage, "Before the humans get wind of us being here." Sasuke nodded,

"Go ahead. I'll keep an eye out."

* * *

><p>The Kitsune rushed between the cages, breaking the ropes that bound the different dragons and occasionally helping some to their feet.<p>

Naruto was about to free Fugaku when a trumpet sounded in the distance: the humans had found them out.

"Go…" Fugaku rasped out, "They'll capture you too. Go!" But Naruto shook his head,

"I've come this far, like hell I'm leaving a single one of you guys behind." As Naruto worked, he didn't notice the cloaked figure sneaking up on him until there was a vicious roar. He turned just in time to see that Sasuke had pinned the attacker to the ground, growling out,

"Is everyone out of their cages?" Naruto nodded and, after the dragon shoved the human's body away, Sasuke allowed the blonde to climb on his back: quickly taking flight along with all the other dragons.

The last dragon to leave was Fugaku, the black dragon ascending just as more humans came to try and stop their prisoners from leaving. But before he left completely, Fugaku rushed through the encampment and, in a moment of sheer rage, engulfed the entire settlement in flame.

* * *

><p>"Where is he?" In the Crystal Palace, early the following morning, two fox-demons stormed their way into the pristine structure. One, a male with long, spiky blonde hair that bore a strong semblance to Naruto, and the other, a female with curly red hair. They didn't stop, not when guards tried to stop them, not when they came to a locked door…<p>

"Naruto?" The red-head called out as she kicked the door open, frantically looking around, gasping when she saw the young fox-demon in the next room. "Oh Naruto!"

"Mom?" Naruto had only enough to blink before he found himself wrapped up in a tight hug, the red head sobbing,

"Oh my baby…" She tightened the embrace, "Don't you _ever_ do something that dangerous again! Do you hear me? Never again!"

Though the large room was filled with dragons getting treated from their torments at the hand of the humans (Shichibi handing out bucket-fuls of elixirs to regrow the torn scales and missing teeth), Kyuubi heard his niece's voice and walked over, smiling,

"Kushi-!" He was stopped with a firm slap to the face, "You know…" He began, trying to reconnect his jaw, "There aren't many demons who I would allow such a privilege."

"Don't try to charm your way out of this Uncle…" The red-haired fox frowned, "Not _this _time."

"What the hell were you thinking," The older blonde, Naruto's father Minato, tried to figure this unbelievable situation out, "Sending Naruto into that encampment? For gods' sake, he could have died!" The two fox-demons were about to go into another rant when Naruto desperately tried to push himself away,

"Mom, dad, wait!" When he was free, he panted, "You're acting like Uncle Kyuubi forced me to do this! _I_ chose to go to Mt. Pyrus; _I_ chose to help save my friend and his father! You can't put all of this rage onto Uncle Kyuubi for my choices!"

"You're a _child_, Naruto." Minato tried to explain to his impassioned son, "Your uncle should have tried to dissuade you. At least to think about your safety." Naruto could only shake his head, murmuring,

"I still would have gone… Fox-magic or not, I couldn't have left Sasuke there…"

* * *

><p>It had come down to the wire the following week. Representatives from all over Terram came to Konoha for one, large conference to talk about what was to be done about the human menace.<p>

Once everyone, from mermaid to dragon, pegasus to mage, had been seated in the massive amphitheater: the ten Celestials seated as a panel in on the circular stage in the center, Juubi knocked a gavel against the table and announced, "It is my honor to welcome and thank everyone for coming here today. As we are all well aware, there is a problem in our fair world."

A sudden uproar of side-comments rose up, Juubi banging the gavel to get attention back on himself, "Thank you. Now, we have all come here today to consider our options in this situation." Abruptly, a loud slam sounded from the left side of the amphitheater. It was the King of the Gold and Silver Kingdom who stated, his long, blonde hair (some braided to the side) **( 1 ) **following his movements,

"The only option is to go to war."

"Hey now!" That came from the Werewolf Emperor Julius **( 2 )**: the handsome werewolf dressed in red and white with golden armor, "I enjoy a good fight as anyone else does, but it's summer! Time for beach-bunnies and siestas—"

"You're an _idiot_!" Grandmother Spider hissed at the werewolf, "We need to take arms! Rescue those who have been taken from us and drive away these foreigners!"

"Um, excuse me!" Juubi banged the gavel, the conversations ceasing long enough for the dolphin-deity to state, "Now, no one is saying that we should go to war." Sanbi scoffed, turning his head before Hachibi hissed,

"_Sspeak_ for your_sself_." There was a haughty laugh from the upper balcony. It turned out to be Arthur, Prince of Fairies, rolling his eyes,

"Oh, wah-wah, the humans burnt down some of your flowers. Get off your arse and regrow them." Before Shichibi could calm his husband down, Hachibi snapped: shifting into the form of a massive, viridian snake with eight lashing tails.

"SSAY THAT AGAIN, I DARE YOU!" Shichibi hissed: his mouth open and fangs dripping venom.

"Hachibi No Hachimata! Arthur of Fey!" Juubi chirped, his magic causing the call to echo through everyone's very core. When both of them calmed down and returned to their seats, the Vampire King stood and spoke,

"I think what Arthur was trying to say is, yes, the humans need to be handled. But too many of us rely on them as a food-source to kill them off completely."

"Then why don't we calculate the numbers?" The unicorn representative offered, "Kill two humans for every one of our kind that they have slaughtered!" More representatives began speaking their minds: the main debate was, of course, importance of food and ways of life vs. retaliation.

Juubi felt his control of the situation wavering with every new statement. "Come _on_ Juubi!" Rokubi frowned, "We can't let this spiral out of control. You and I both know what this could mean!" Juubi calmed things down again, just for a single hand to be raised.

"Ah, yes." Juubi nodded, "RedCoat, you may take the floor." The butter-blonde figure of goodwill and peace walked down to the stage. He looked around at everyone, to make sure that he had their attention.

"Now, as you all know," RedCoat began as he stood in the midst of the conference hall, "I don't believe in violence." Rokubi gave a sigh of relief,

"Finally, a voice of reason."

"But I do believe in discipline," The holiday-figure added, "And I for one think that the attack on the ice regions, my workshop in particular, needs retribution!"

"Agreed!" The majority of the representatives in the room shouted. Juubi groaned, combing his nails through his hair, shouting

"Are you even _listening_ to yourselves?" Finally, Sanbi stood up and addressed everyone,

"I hear everyone's arguments and protests. But if we don't contest this, we are laying back and allowing for a reign of anarchy and most of all _CHAOS_!" Everyone in the amphitheater winced, groaned, or shrieked at that last word:

It brought up too many bed memories of olden times.

"Scare tactics Sanbi?" Juubi huffed, "Honestly, I—"

"Not now brother…" Sanbi gritted out, holding out his hand towards the dolphin-deity before he began again, "I suppose that we should see who truly supports a measure of war. Celestials…" As expected, Sanbi, Yonbi, Hachibi, and Kyuubi raised their hands. What was not expected was the addition of Nibi and Shichibi.

Needless to say, Juubi was shocked at the betrayal and Rokubi sputtered, "Nibi? What is the meaning of this?" The shrouded cat-deity shook her head,

"The souls of the slain, Rokubi… They cry out to me, day and night, even in my dreams. They beg this deity of death: 'rain vengeance on those who have taken our lives in wrong'!" Tired lavender eyes looked at the brunette, "What kind of deity… No. What kind of _person_ would I be if I refused them?" Rokubi turned to Shichibi, the badger-deity sobbing,

"I'm sorry Rokubi! But Hachibi is my husband: where he leads, I _must_ follow!" As Rokubi tried to deal with what was happening, Juubi sneered before stating to the other representatives,

"Alright. So it looks like the Celestial vote is 6-4 in favor of war."

"This is ridiculous…" Gobi shook his head, the wolf-deity actually _leaving_ the amphitheater before Juubi called out,

"I ask the representatives in this hall to now make their decision. Please send in your votes." The voting system in the Konoha Amphitheater was actually quite stunning. At the beginning of a conference, each representative would be given a ruby and an emerald. If they voted nay on a measure, they would send the ruby to the set of golden scales on the stage. If they voted aye, they would send the ruby.

In a rush of beautiful light akin to a meteor shower, the gems rushed through the air into the scale. However, at the end of it, Juubi's face contorted into an expression of sheer rage at the results.

The outstanding vote was for war.

Sanbi had won.

"I think that you and I both realize what this means brother." Sanbi whispered to the dolphin-deity who screamed, pulling at his golden hair before slamming his head against the table as an uproar of arguments and conflicts arose in the room.

* * *

><p>In the order of the ten Celestials, responsibilities were evenly distributed. What was handed out in lion-shares by Amaterasu, however, was sheer strength.<p>

She had created Sanbi first, he was the oldest, and then she had made Juubi: his brother. They both were the strongest out of the ten Celestials once they had all been born. However, in order to try and quell the fights and disagreements that would somehow _always_ occur between the two, they agreed to this:

If the masses of Terram fell to agree with Juubi, Juubi would be seen as ruler and most powerful.

If Sanbi won the hearts of the world, however… He would gain all influence.

* * *

><p>Even though magic makes thing easier, Sanbi still found himself yawning out of sheer boredom while he supervised calligraphy brushes writing out the same letter to different addresses a thousand-times over.<p>

He was just about to consider getting a cup of coffee when the door to the office opened. It was Rokubi, the weasel-deity looking none too heart-warming. "I would have thought you would have been in bed." Sanbi commented.

For a moment, the brunette was silent: walking over to the desk. Upon closer inspection, he was struggling to hold in his fury at the current situation. It didn't work for long.

"What is a war going to get us?" Rokubi whispered before, in a sudden fit of infantile rage, he seized all of the letters that Sanbi was working on and tossed them into the air. "What is all this _unnecessary_ violence going to _achieve _Sanbi No Same?" Rather than answer the weasel-deity straight up, Sanbi slowly walked around the desk and began to pick up the discarded papers.

He was silent at first. But then, in an uncharacteristically calm voice, he stated, "…Peace."

"Mother Amaterasu…" Rokubi shook his head, laughing in sheer disbelief, "Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity! This whole thing is _asinine_!"

"But it _is_ necessary." Sanbi replied, stopping his actions in favor of looking out the window. The argument between the two had caused a small storm to rise up: water cascading from the heavens in thick sheets. Despite himself, Sanbi found his eyes drifting towards the gardens surrounding the palace…

To that lone statue that stood in the center…

"I should have killed her when I had the chance." The white-haired deity shook his head, going back to the desk. Not before telling Rokubi, however, "Go to bed." Rokubi narrowed his eyes,

"Don't try and tell me what to do."

Sanbi growled; the amount of rain turning into a torrent.

Rokubi returned the action; a flash of lightning breaking through the clouds.

* * *

><p>Amaterasu's sun rose over Adamant Falls, bathing the small town in an awakening glow. As the light broke down through the waves, one of the maids in Kisame's estate brought him the mail. "Thank you." The bluenette stated before going through everything: junk-mail, a letter from Yuki (he would save that for later), a bill or two, and…<p>

The shark blinked as he saw an envelope made of fragile, blue parchment bearing the Celestial Seal. "What's this?" He pondered before carefully opening the letter and reading the first few lines.

His heart sank, "Oh Lord Sanbi, what did you _do_?"

* * *

><p>"The fuck is this?" Hidan hissed, his eyes wide, as he read the letter that Kakuzu had received over the stitch-demon's shoulder.<p>

* * *

><p>At GlazeFeather Boutique, Saso rushed downstairs just to find his mother sobbing and Sasori's trembling hands holding a piece of blue parchment. "It's official," The scorpion-demon scoffed, "Terram has official gone straight to Hell!"<p>

* * *

><p>"<strong>This is impossible,"<strong> Black Zetsu said from the reflective surface of Ongakuhana's bedroom window in Zetsu's cottage, **"You wouldn't last a day!"**

Zetsu said nothing, the piece of parchment in one hand, his other hand gently smoothing his daughter's hair.

* * *

><p>And at Ivan's mansion in the Yonko Forests, Alfred had his face pressed to the table: as if he was trying not to acknowledge what had just occurred. Katyusha, who had been making breakfast, was now crying into a handkerchief. Natalia was doing her best to remain impassive (though her breathing betrayed the sound of on-coming tears) and Winter shook his head, "It was only a matter of time."<p>

Ivan nodded, rereading the letter that had been sent out that morning…

* * *

><p><em>From the Desk of Sanbi No Same of the Ten Celestials, <em>

_In response to the attacks from the enemy and the threat to our peaceful way of life, you have been called upon to serve in the Armed Forces of Terram for our on-coming retaliation. _

_Refusal to this call will be seen as a criminal act of treason. Do well to prepare yourself for a long journey; departure time is in a week._

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**( 1 ) Yes, this is supposed to be Korea from Hetalia. **

**( 2 ) I love Germania from Hetalia, I mean… Gah, I just love him! **

**( 3 ) Rome just seems like he would make a good werewolf to me.**

**And we have some familiar faces from 'Of Youkai, Life, and Other Things' popping up! See, I believe in continuality.**

**Terram is finally going to war. Some readers would say 'took them long enough', but still… **

**Thanks for reading, see you all next week so we can find out what's next for Terram! Please Review! **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	6. The Train That Takes My Heart Away

**A/N: Fanfiction... Y u be trolling me? * has spent two hours trying to upload thsi chapter and a new Hetalia fic * **

**Oh my gosh, I'm tired though. So you guys get this... short... update. I'm not even naming it, it's so short. Also, this chapter probably has typos out the ass but it is late and both FF and the minisucle wi-fi I get at home were trolling me to the point that I forgot to spellcheck it... Ugh... My apologies.**

**Thanks to Zetsu's Rose, KanameAngel, Waterbomb22, YaoiPhox, elric0sis, and FMJ26.**

**Playlist for this chapter: 21 Guns – Green Day**

* * *

><p>"I can't help but feel a little betrayed by this."<p>

That was the first thing to come out of Itachi's mouth after an hour of watching Kisame run through the series of martial arts he had learned at Hammerhead Cove. When the statement drifted to his ears, Kisame didn't say anything at first. But the feel of the other's stare was too distracting.

"Itachi, you read the letter…" Kisame sighed, swimming over, "It's treason if I don't go." Itachi shook his head with a scoff,

"It's funny that Sanbi thinks he has the right to use that word." Kisame frowned,

"Pardon?"

"Look," Itachi began, as calmly as possible since he knew how far the other's respect for the shark-deity ran, "I know that you respect Sanbi with all that you are, but he has been… Losing touch with the important things lately."

"He's just stressed Itachi!" Kisame growled swimming back to the center of the yard, "And quite frankly, I don't blame him. Have you _seen_ Sasuke lately? Especially after what he went through with the humans…" Itachi frowned, unconsciously rubbing his stomach, as he remembered,

"No, because _he_ got drafted too."

"The point is," Kisame sighed, moving himself into another fight stance, "The sooner we push the humans back beyond the GoldStar Barrier, the sooner that everyone can get back to their normal lives." The weasel-demon could only shake his head, looking up towards the ocean's surface,

"Somehow I don't think that anything 'normal' is going to come of all this."

* * *

><p>In the Adamant Falls Primary School, the first-graders could only watch quietly as Iruka silently, yet angrily wrote down notes on the board. No one had had the courage to say anything all morning, but after a while Mizuki held up his hand.<p>

"Yes Mizuki-kun?" Iruka curtly replied, not once looking away from the board. Mizuki winced at the off-the-cuff response, but he asked on,

"What does… 'war' mean?" Everyone in the room jolted as the chalk in Iruka's hands snapped apart. Hun silently tugged on Mizuki's arm, in a quiet attempt to get the otter-demon to sit back down.

The dolphin-demon quickly turned around, closing his eyes with a simple sigh before beginning, "War is a terrible, awful thing children. It rips apart families and destroys demons' homes for some over-inflated reason of justice that some entity in some far off palace tells us is right."

"Hmph," Ukon huffed, leaning over his desk, "Maybe that's why Daddy doesn't have to go." Iruka snapped, yelling at the child,

"The only reason that _your _father doesn't have to risk his life like everyone else who was called is because he's a manipulative bastard with enough money to fuel the war-machine so he doesn't have to risk his own hide! Is that what you want to hear, huh?"

"Iruka." The dolphin's tirade stopped as he looked over at the doorway to see Kakashi: the wolf-demon standing at the door, "You're scaring the kids." Iruka gulped as he looked around the room: all of his young, impressionable students looking at him as if he were some sort of harbinger of doom and destruction… Especially Sakon and Ukon.

"Class dismissed." The brunette sighed, sinking into the chair at his desk. The children all slowly filed out of the classroom, Kakashi making his way inside to comfort the dolphin-demon whose shoulders slowly began to shake as tears cascaded down his face.

* * *

><p>Mizuki swam into the living room of Kisame's estate, finding Itachi sitting on the couch and reading aloud to the unborn child in his stomach; a common sight these past few months.<p>

"Oh, Mizuki-kun?" Itachi called over after his ears twitched at the sound of the child swimming over, "You're out of school early today."

"Iruka-sensei released us early…" Mizuki stated before sitting down on the couch next to the weasel-demon. Itachi was about to ask something else when he suddenly jolted from feeling something on his stomach. "There's a baby in here?" Mizuki asked, his calm voice almost in awe as his small hands moved against Itachi's stomach.

"Pretty amazing huh?" Itachi smiled, ruffling the small demon's hair, "Yes, pretty soon you'll have a baby brother or sister of your very own." Mizuki was quiet for a second before he allowed his head to gently rest upon the stomach in front of him.

'_Damn it…'_ Itachi mentally groaned, despite the smile on his face, _'Where's Kisame with the camera? This would be excellent for the book I'm writing on my pregnancy!'_ Itachi was mentally squealing and gushing over the scene in front of him… At least until he heard the otter-demon whisper the following words:

"I'm not sure if you want to come out yet… This world is a really scary place right now and I don't think you should see how it is now."

* * *

><p>"My musical flower," Zetsu sighed as he stood in front of one of the many trees surrounding his cottage, "Come back down here and give me back my suitcase."<p>

"NO!" Ongakuhana called down, "You can't leave to go to that war or whatever it is!"

"Ongakuhana…" Zetsu bit his lip, wincing as he heard his daughter's voice hitch into sobs,

"You're not leaving… You can't…"

* * *

><p>When Saso walked into GlazeFeather Boutique that afternoon, his parents were nowhere to be found. Of course, he remembered, they would surely be taking the opportunity to buy anything and everything that the scorpion-demon would need out on the battlefield.<p>

The young one walked up to his room, closing the door before setting his book-bag down.

"Saso-kun!" A feminine voice called out from his toy-closet. The blonde child walked over and opened it, watching his favorite family of dolls walk out. They all bowed to him, he returning the action of course, before Princess Rose asked,

"What are you doing home so early dear?"

"My teacher let us go home early." Saso explained as he brought the tea-table out from beneath the bed, "So we could have tea or play Go; which one would you all prefer?" he dolls all chimed 'Go', Saso smiling before he looked out of the window.

'_At least _this_ family will never leave me…'_

* * *

><p>"But <em>why<em> Papa?" Kira pleaded to the stitch-demon who was packing his bag for his trip, "Why go into something so bad when you don't even want to?"

"Kira-chan…" Kakuzu sighed, ceasing his packing long enough so that he could sit down. Kira immediately crawled onto his knee, the stitch-demon speaking, "In this life, we find ourselves doing what we don't _want_ to but _have_ to. I'm doing this so that the world remains safe for you, your brothers and sisters, and Mama. You understand?"

"Mm-hm…" Kira slowly nodded, wiping her teary eyes, "Yes Papa…"

'_But I still don't like it.'_

* * *

><p>Eyes that glimmered like the sky lights of the Glaciu province watched on as the adults in Ivan's mansions talked amongst themselves.<p>

Alexandr saw Ivan trying to console his older sister.

He watched between his fingers as Ivan dealt with his younger sister (Natalia insisting that she should take her brother's place on the battlefield).

And he could only bury his face in Boris's fur after he observed Ivan trying to talk to Alfred, the peaceful Trickster not wanting anything to do with him.

* * *

><p>The departure date came, as many things that are unwanted, much too soon for anyone's liking. The day found those unfortunate few who had been drafted filing into the Adamant Falls train station: their bags and loved ones in tow. Kakuzu turned towards his family, kneeling down to Obaa-san's wheel-chair and gently speaking, "I'm going to have to go away for a little bit grandmother." The old stitch-demoness slowly moved her head up, about to say something, before she only shook her head.<p>

Kakuzu sighed, looking to his oldest son and clasping a hand over his shoulder, "Dim Sum, you're going to be in charge of the farm while I'm gone. Understood?" The stitch-demon looked up at his father, the distance not that much since he _was_ the oldest boy, before he nodded,

"Mm." Finally, Kakuzu walked over to Hidan, the cat-demon stopping him when he tried to hug him,

"You can touch me when you get back. Not a moment sooner, not a moment later."

* * *

><p>"I can't believe that we <em>still<em> have to do this!" Sasori groaned as he and Zetsu carried their bags to the train, "There are plenty of rough and tumble demons in Terram, why did _we_ get drafted?"

"Danna, shush!" Deidara chirped, "You know you don't want to go, _I_ know that I don't want you to go, but you can't go around like that, un!"

"He's right." Zetsu sighed, "We should just try to get this over with and come home as soon as possible."

"Mm-hm!" Tobi smiled, holding Ongakuhana close so she wouldn't try to go after her daddy, "You all will be back before you know it, don't worry!"

* * *

><p>"Such enthusiasm that joy-demon has…" Winter shook his head as he looked around the train station. He and his daughters had come to see Ivan off but he had gone off with that Trickster Spirit a few minutes ago… "Where is that boy?"<p>

"Hold on!" Alfred called out. The Baba Yagas looked over and saw Ivan and Alfred rushing over: trying to fix their clothes that looked like they had just been haphazardly put on. "Sorry about that…" The blonde laughed nervously, his face still red from whatever he and Ivan had been doing earlier.

* * *

><p>"Sasuke." Itachi tried to speak to his brother as he helped Naruto help Sasuke with his bags, just for the dragon to ignore him. But when Naruto called the Uchiha's name, the dragon turned and asked,<p>

"What?" The Kitsune was almost put off by the other's attitude, but he shook it off and walked closer until his arms were able to wrap around the navy-bluenette's shoulders.

"Be safe… Please."

* * *

><p>The train whistles had just started going off as the draftees were boarding the train. The only one who had yet to get on was Kisame, the shark sitting on a bench next to Itachi: his head on the brunette's stomach.<p>

"Hello in there…" The shark-demon smiled, listening for a response, "Dad has to go on a little trip. But try not to make your big debut while I'm gone, okay?" Itachi could only shake his head before he huffed,

"Okay, get off; you're heavy."

"Aw…" Kisame pretended to pout as he stood to his feet, "But I wanted to talk to my son/daughter some more…"

"No, you have a train to catch." Itachi sighed, looking at the smoking behemoth a while's away. Kisame was going to be away from him.

Again…

And this time he didn't have any idea on how long it would be until he came back… If he came back at all.

"Hey." The weasel-demon was cut off from his thoughts when he noticed his lover leaning over him. "Don't worry. I made it through Lord Sanbi's training and I'll make it out of this."

"Just…" The weasel-demon sighed, gently bringing his arms up to the bluenette's shoulders. "Don't do anything reckless…" He whispered, closing his eyes as Kisame meshed their lips together: this kiss deep, hungry, fierce…

With one last nip to the rosy lips whose taste he had become an addiction in his mind, Kisame pulled away. "There's no way that I'm not coming back with _that_ waiting for me."

* * *

><p>The train whistle howled once more before the iron wheels slowly began moving. It took a while for the train to get to full-speed but all the while, those on board were using every last opportunity to say goodbye to their loved ones.<p>

As the train slowly moved beyond the point of vision, Itachi's only prayer was that the child inside him would be able to come into a world where all this madness was behind them.

* * *

><p><strong>Please review!<strong>

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	7. Apologies

**A/N: **

**Oh. **

**Dear. **

**God. **

**Two weeks' worth of writer's-block? No. NO! !: I couldn't do it guys. I couldn't go another week without updating this story. **

**Unfortunately… That means we're going to have to **_**lose**_** the War Arc… Not just because I want to skip, but I just… can't… write it! I've tried! I've thrown out three different files trying to write it, I just **_**CAN'T**_**! **

**So, and I apologize **_**profusely**_** for this, I will at least try to give a Cliff Notes (do kids still use these?) rendition of what I was going to write. **

**Ahem:**

* * *

><p>The train trembled and quaked as it was pushed through the landscape. Those on board couldn't stand it: they had been cooped up inside for two days as the train made its way to…<p>

Well…

"Where the _hell_ are we going?" Raiga groaned, flopping onto the couch in the large sleeper cart that was currently being shared by Kisame, Kakuzu, Sasori, Zetsu, Sasuke, Ivan, Zabuza, and himself. "I think I'm beginning to forget what the sun _looks_ like!" The harpy sobbed, the others ignoring him.

"Well, there we have it." Sasori huffed, "I'm officially sick of this train and everyone in it – except for Zetsu – I'm getting out of here!" Before the scorpion-demon made it to the door, Kisame blocked him: his expression stern as he stated,

"No you're not."

"Kisame, Kisame…" The redhead shook his head, "Maybe someone of your… _Typing_ might not understand this but demons like me aren't cut out for fighting!"

"You think _we_ want to be here?" Kakuzu snapped, "This is bullshit, making me leave my wife, children, and farm for this…"

"But it's for the greater good." Kisame insisted. At that moment, Zetsu tried to say something, but Kisame went on, "We're not here just for ourselves, not for our homes, but for all of Terram!"

"Um, excuse me…" Zetsu meeped, Kisame going on,

"The actions we take here will save lives and preserve our way of life for our children's' sakes."

"Kisame…"

"We just need to work together for this common goal and – By Sanbi's lyrical voice, Zetsu what is it?" The plant-demon whimpered from the shark-demon's tone,

"The train stopped. I just thought that… you all might want to know…"

* * *

><p>The train passengers were all too happy to get off of the train and onto stable land… At least until they actually saw where they were.<p>

"Is it night-time…" Zetsu asked, his golden eyes wide, "Or day–time?" No one around could really answer that, they were all confused as well. The sky in this place was pitch-black, the same lightless void as the lifeless ocean by the city.

The city itself was composed of large, steel skyscrapers. Cars and trucks drove by, each carrying along the same, lifeless steel that seemed to compose the town.

"Um…" Kisame blinked, Sasori gulping,

"Where in the name of all things fashionable are we?"

"What the scorpion-demon said," Yuki, the penguin-demoness, stated as she walked over to the group, "Only less fancy-frou-frou." As they all held on tighter to their belongings (something about this city not sitting right), a voice stated,

"SteelTown: easily the most miserable place in all of Terram. A city that exports steel and tar and sits beside a pitch-filled sea."

"I know that voice…" Sasori mused before he turned and saw Konan Pacon's manager/husband Pein. The steel-demon looked around, sighing,

"When I high-tailed it out of here for the first time, I didn't think I would have to come back." A factory-whistle sounded somewhere in the background.

"Well, look what we have here ladies!" That cat-call caused the group to turn and see a group of scantily clad female demons.

"And of course," Pein sighed, "The worst thing about SteelTown has to be the prostitutes."

* * *

><p><strong>This was where I stopped getting inspiration and started banging my head against the wall because of Writer's Block. <strong>

**After this, the draftees find their way to the SteelTown warehouses where all the armory and weapons are being prepared for the War. Sanbi, seeming a **_**lot**_** less like his normal, fun self, assigns ranks (assigning Sasori and Zetsu to Nurse duty because of their, ahem, physical-stature), and then proceeds to talk to Kisame about his battle-plans. **

'**Hey, we're going to fight the humans in a week. Better train hard!'**

**Of course, Kisame doesn't like this and is slowly starting to realize that Itachi may have been right in saying that Sanbi seems to be losing touch with things lately. **

**(Wanted to fill in some space with training and some comedy, but all I could come up with was Sasori's hissy fit over his uniform, so…)**

* * *

><p>"No, no, NO!" Sasori snapped as he was handed what was supposed to be his and Zetsu's uniforms. "There is no way in hell I'm this grey-matter abortion you call clothing!"<p>

"For the record," Zetsu gently spoke up, picking up the painfully beige and grey suit, "I don't really mind—"

"Fine then," Sasori huffed before fuming to the poor demon who had delivered the clothes, "If you _insist_ on torturing a fashionisto, at _least_ get me a sewing machine so I can make them _manageable_!"

* * *

><p><strong>Let's see, there was supposed to be more filler… Who likes filler? Not me! Anyway, only five days into this routine, SteelTown gets attacked by human forces. <strong>

**Fighting, fighting, fighting… I **_**really**_** dislike myself because of this guys. I was planning this huge thing with emotional angst, violence, and all sorts of Epic… But every time I went to my laptop it was just coming out as… meh. **

**And I know that I've said I've written some crappy chapters before, but since I started work on my own original novel, I've become more critical of my work to the point that if it's bad, I'll just throw it out.**

**Okay, let's see… Sanbi's army manages to force the humans back, yay. But not without losing some of his own army. Ouch. **

**Don't worry, our favorite guys (and one penguin-girl) make it back with only some injuries. **

**But the war has one resounding effect…**

* * *

><p>"I hope that you're proud of yourself." Rokubi frowned as he walked down the hall of the Crystal Palace following the memorial service for those who had fallen. By this time, however, Sanbi was sick and tired of Rokubi's criticisms and put-downs.<p>

"Oh well pardon me, oh highest of high." Sanbi sneered back, "I just thought that for the good of those who we were born to protect. Or did you forget about that in all of those stupid books that you bury yourself in!"

"How _dare_ you!" Rokubi seethed, in sheer disbelief that Sanbi was speaking to him like this. He was probably a bit incoherent as he stormed over to the shark-deity. "Mother may have made you first but that gives you _no_ reason to insult me!"

The sound of a firm, sharp slap echoed throughout the hall: Rokubi panting and Sanbi standing completely still from the impact.

It came like a sudden rainstorm, silent, unexpected.

In an instant, Sanbi seized Rokubi: throwing him to the floor before he fell upon him, strangling him with one hand.

"DO YOU HAVE _ANY_ IDEA WHO I AM? TELL ME, IN ALL OF THE USELESS FACTS AND SPELLS THAT YOU HAVE CLOGGED YOUR FEEBLE MIND WITH—"

"Gods above, Sanbi!" By pure chance, Kyuubi had wandered into the very hallway where Sanbi and Rokubi were feuding and rushed over to try and pull the two apart: especially since Rokubi was beginning to look like he was at death's door. "Let… him… Go! Damn it!"

Finally, Sanbi loosened his grip, walking away from the scene. "You okay?" Kyuubi asked the coughing weasel-deity. Rokubi only glared at Sanbi's retreating back before screaming,

"Don't you _dare_ come back to me Sanbi No Same, not after this!"

* * *

><p><strong>Unity. Shattered. <strong>

**Now that this is out of the way, I can finally move on with the rest of the story. Again, I am so, **_**so**_**, **_**SO**_**, sorry about this guys. And I hope that my readers will understand and keep following this tale. **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	8. Normal's Boring! Bring in Mayhem! Part 1

**A/N: **

**Playlist for this chapter: **

'**Philistine' – Nadia Gifford (No More Heroes 2 Soundtrack)**

* * *

><p>Late night in Konoha. Sanbi No Same found himself wandering the gardens around the Crystal Palace in a vain attempt to clear his head. Who did Rokubi think he was, he would think, to disrespect his decision? He was doing what needed to be done and, despite how some felt about his choices, they were better for the long run right?<p>

Right?

So he walked: alone, cold, furious. His only company being the wind.

"_Reaper, reaper, _

_That's what people call me…"_ Sanbi flinched at the sound of a taunting, female voice singing those eerie words. But the song was beckoning for an answer. So, he gave it.

"_Why? _

'_Cause they all die, _

_When I sing I end their lives…"_ The voice from before giggled before continuing,

"_You act as though payback makes you a noble man. _

_Is that a fact? _

_Well, you're a God-damned Philistine~!"_

"Show yourself!" Sanbi snapped, whipping his head around to look through the darkness. But the voice only continued with her taunting,

"Sanbi, Sanbi, Sanbi… Where is that whelp of a weasel you call a wife?"

"Leave him out of this, he doesn't want to be involved." Sanbi frowned.

"Oh, isn't that a shame?" The voice gasped, "Oh well, I guess I'll just have to start my fun with you."

"The hell do you mean by that?" Sanbi asked, carefully backing away from the garden: trying not to fall into any sort of trap. However, he soon bumped into a soft, warm body. He didn't want to, he honestly didn't. But he gulped before turning around.

The last thing Sanbi No Same saw were a pair of mischievous blue eyes.

* * *

><p>The sun was shining in the pure, cerulean skies above Konoha: Amaterasu bestowing her graces upon the world. Let's go a bit closer, say, the Crystal Palace of the Ten Celestials.<p>

In the holy gardens, Kakashi and Iruka were leading a large group of their students through the highly decorated garden mazes. With all that had happened with the War, the school decided that a field trip would be a good way to lighten up the atmosphere for the children… And teach lessons to prevent the next generation from repeating their mistakes.

"Come along class!" Iruka called out, "I really want us to see the world-famous Konoha Sculpture Gardens while we're still here!"

Before long, the group found themselves in an area filled with beautiful statues of ivory, marble, and gold. Sakon and Ukon frowned as they passed a statue of two pixie children holding hands, Iruka explaining, "That statue represents Friendship."

Then who should walk past but our favorite group of children: Mizuki, Hun, Ongakuhana, Kiro, Kire, Kira, Saso, Alexandr… Also known as the Chakra-Mark Musketeers who, unfortunately, tripped over each other when they all tried to look at the Friendship statue.

"Keep up guys…" Kakashi called to the group, readjusting the sling his arm was in. They soon moved to golden statue of a Minotaur holding a spear. "This one represents victory."

"Wow…" Ongakuhana whistled, "That would make an _awesome_ chakra-mark!"

"Da, it would…" Alexandr hummed before huffing, "If you were victory-like about something." It took Saso a second before he snapped,

"That's not a word, ano sa!"

"What are you?" Hun smirked, "A dictionary?"

"Children!" Iruka called over to them, the group rushing over to the dolphin-demon, "Now _here_ we have a very interesting statue." The air grew still as everyone looked at the statue that Iruka and Kakashi were standing near.

It was an ivory statue of a beautiful woman. Her long, flowing hair was permanently stuck in the breeze and her face was stuck in a predatory grin as her hand held up an apple in the air. "What do you all notice about it?" Kakashi asked. Immediately Mizuki frowned,

"It's a human.", before picking up a stone and flinging it towards the statue's face. It didn't cause any damage, of course, but Kira tilted her head and commented,

"She's really pretty… But she seems… _Off._" She immediately gulped and hid behind Ongakuhana, a shiver going through her spine.

"And what's with the apple?" Kire asked with a flip of his hair. Finally, after plenty of speculation, Iruka explained,

"Yes children, this creature is indeed a human."

"But she's a very dangerous creature despite that." Kakashi murmured, "A human who gained the power of a god. What would that represent children?"

"Blasphemy!" Kiro shouted, Kire shoving him aside and stating,

"Confusion!"

"Anarchy!" Saso added, Alexandr rolling his eyes,

"Mayhem!"

"Chaos." Mizuki calmly stated before Ongakuhana pushed him aside,

"It's not chaos you dodo!" But the otter-demon could only quirk an eyebrow and ask,

"Do you even know what that word means?" As the children's spats and feuding grew, no one noticed the statue's glowing eyes…

Soon, the group of children were full-on fighting, Iruka and Kakashi struggling to pull them apart. Finally, when the area had calmed down a bit, Iruka announced, wiping his forehead, "In a way… you're _all_ right." They all looked at the brunette before he continued, "This statue is of a human named Eris. The Ten Celestials use her visage to represent the dark days when there was a lack of unity between the creatures of Terram."

"In fact…" Kakashi hummed, his ears twitching to shoo a fly away, "You lot have explained today's lesson _so_ well…" The Chakra-Mark Musketeers leaned in, waiting for the treats that the wolf-demon's voice promised. "That you will all write Iruka-sensei an essay on the topic."

Needless to say, the other children (especially Sakon and Ukon) laughed at this new development. But Iruka shook his head, "Let's go children. And no more fighting!" So they slowly walked away from the statue, Mizuki and Saso muttering about the different inflections of the word 'chaos'.

So of course… There was no one around to notice the few, scant pieces of ivory flaking to the ground…

* * *

><p>A few days later, back in the beautiful seaside burg of Adamant Falls, the weather for the week had just been set up by our favorite shark-demon. Kisame floated across the waves on his faithful surfboard: writing notes on the weather schedule.<p>

"Let's see… Everything is balanced out, a light shower on Wednesday and –" He was cut off by a blur of pink and blue swimming by him. "Huh?" He blinked before he swam over to it. "Hold on a minute." He began, grabbing the mass, "I know you're raring to go but clouds have to stay up in sky and… and…" Kisame trailed off as he tried to pull his hands away, sticky blue and white following. "What the hell is..?" He frowned before taking a small… experimental lick.

His eyes widened as he asked, "Cotton candy..?" As if on cue, more clouds of fluffed sugar began swarming the area: some floating up into the air to meet one another, making one massive storm cloud that started rumbling and trembling.

"No, no, no!" Kisame snapped up at the forming clouds, "It's not supposed to rain until Wednesday! I will be _damned_ if you mess up this schedu—" There was a large crack of thunder before the sweet clouds let loose a torrent of light brown rain. "Fuck…" Kisame seethed as he was drenched.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, at Goldleaf Farms, Kakuzu and Hidan were busy picking corn and grains to sell the next day. Hidan quickly sliced a stalk of corn down, Kakuzu picking through and sorting the ears, but soon the skies dimmed. "The hell?" Hidan whispered.<p>

"Get back here damn it!" They both turned to see Kisame chasing after the cotton candy clouds with an oversized bug net. Soon, more clouds rose into the skies: all raining down cold drops of milky brown.

"Kisame!" Kakuzu yelled out, "What the hell is with this rain?" He licked some of it away from his mouth before he corrected himself, "I mean, chocolate milk! I mean – Chocolate rain?"

"You mean how some stay dry and others feel the pain?" **( 1 )** Hidan offered before they both shared a knowing nod.

"The weather in Terram is going insane!" Kisame replied as he tried to capture a cloud, getting rained on in the process, "The Gold and Silver Kingdom is getting soaked by sake and Adamant Sea City is trying to barricade themselves from an on-coming cola-storm!" The blue and pink cloud slipped out of the shark's grasp, Kisame growling before stating, "But I'm not leaving here until it gets steady again." The bluenette rushed after another cloud, Kakuzu going to help him.

Hidan was going to try and salvage some of the produce but no sooner had he picked up his scythe, all of the corn started exploding into fluffy pieces of perfect popcorn (try saying that three times fast). The sudden rush overwhelmed the cat-demon, knocking him onto his butt. "Shit!" His hissed as he was quickly being covered, "Kakuzu! Make it _stop_!"

"But _why~_?" That light, happy call was from Tobi: the joy-demon jumping up and swimming through the massive, fluffy piles of popcorn. "Why would anyone want to stop _this_?" He giggled before he stuffed his cheeks full of popcorn; washing it down with some chocolate milk rain.

"Fucking… Shit!" Hidan yowled, barely managing to climb out of the popcorn pile. It was then that Sasori and Deidara decided to walk in on the dilemma, the both of them wearing designer rain-coats with matching umbrellas (courtesy of Sasori).

"Hidan~!" Deidara chirped, "We heard about your problem and decided to rush right over, un! So, how can we help? You know, without getting sticky."

"Or wet." Sasori added, "Or out from these umbrellas in any form." There was a chime, not unlike what one would hear if a demon had just casted a spell, before the peach and apple trees keeled over from the weight of the massive fruits in them.

Before long, a swarm of squirrels and rabbits seized the fruits: eating with wild abandon. "Damn it…" Kakuzu gritted out, then yelling, "ZETSU! Do something!"

The timid plant-demon hid behind one of the trees, peeking his head out to try and speak to his pet rabbit Himawari. "Now, now… You really shouldn't eat Kakuzu's hard work. He needs to sell these fruits to make money and –"

With a flash, all the rabbits in the area underwent a strange transformation: their limbs stretching out to five times their normal state. "What? No, I—It can't be possible!" Zetsu yelped, watching the new slenderbunnies trot away, "I'm seeing things! I _have _to be!" To add to the chaos, a familiar yell drew their attention to the icy, loop-de-looping pathway that was snaking through the area. A moment later, Ivan the Baba Yaga could be seen slipping and sliding down it: desperately trying to stop.

"My friends!" He called out, "If you could _please_ be of some assistance!"

"Hang on big guy!" Alfred's voice could be heard from above. The Trickster Spirit dived down, shifting into the form of a buffalo and obstructing his husband's path. Unfortunately… This didn't stop things. Both creatures screamed as they tried and failed to get their footing.

In the midst of all the chaos, Sasuke and Naruto walked up to the scene: helping a very pregnant weasel-demon get to the area. Itachi skimmed over the pages in a book he was reading before he called out, "Hold on everyone!" He tossed the book to Sasuke, "I just found a spell to help things go back to normal!"

"Don't strain yourself!" Kisame called over, worried for his lover and unborn child. But Itachi only rolled his eyes before his body was surrounded by red and blue energy (the blue being contributed by the baby).

"Neutrality!" Itachi called out before pushing the energy forth with his hands, allowing it to surround anything and everything in the area.

When the light finally faded, Sasuke rushed to help his brother keep his footing. But they all watched in horror as the spell had no effect. "My Safe-Guard Spell… Shattered?" A herd of slenderbunnies rushed by, Itachi groaning, "What do we do _now_?"

"Move?" Sasuke offered. Naruto retaliated to that with a firm jab to the dragon's shoulder, shaking his head,

"We can find a way out of this. We have at _least_ 12 different minds here, we can think of _something_…"

"Hm…" Itachi thought for a moment, then announcing, "Sasuke, you help Kisame and Kakuzu bring those cotton-candy clouds down to earth."

"Got it aniki!" Sasuke nodded before shifting into dragon-form and going to help Kisame corral the soft menaces into one big mass, Kakuzu lassoing a rope around them and pulling them to the ground. Not without a choco-stained Tobi pouting,

"Hey! What happened?"

"Naruto," Itachi asked the Kitsune, "Can you melt that ice-path so Ivan and Alfred can stop moving?" Naruto smiled before bounding over to the slick ice path in the form of a fox surrounded by orange flame. The heat made short work of the pathway, Ivan more than grateful to stand on solid ground. But Alfred was quickly distracted by something…

Itachi then gave a nod to Zetsu, the plant-demon gently announcing, "Oh, I hope that none of the forest creatures get wind of these chocolate-filled cotton-candy clouds. I would _hate_ to share such a treat!"

"Mm-mm-mm!" Tobi nodded as he and Alfred were chowing down on the chocolate-flavored mass of blue and pink, the blonde agreeing,

"You and me both buddy – Whoa!" The forest animals quickly swarmed over, knocking Alfred and Tobi away and devouring the sweet mass.

"By the way you useless fur bags," Hidan shouted, "Make yourselves useful and eat some of this popcorn too." Things were seeming to calm down a bit as the group of creatures came together to watch the animals eat, Kisame asking Itachi,

"Are the two of you okay?"

"We're fine Kisame…" Itachi shook his head, "Believe it or not, just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean that I'm made of glass. Besides, when we're all together, there's nothing we can't overcome."

"Damn straight!" Hidan smiled, the others slowly agreeing. Sasuke was about to say something when he broke down into a coughing fit: a plume of blue fire breaking free from his mouth before changing into a scroll.

"Freaking Rokubi, trying to kill me…" He frowned as he handed his brother the message. The weasel-demon slowly opened the scroll, still on pins and needles when it came to his teacher since that whole mess with the War.

But the brunette quickly read over the first few lines, immediately gasping, "I need to get to Konoha."

"What's wrong?" Kisame asked, Itachi shaking off the concern and stating,

"_We_ need to get to Konoha! Now!

"Sasuke, Naruto," Kisame addressed the dragon and Kitsune, "You two stay here and keep an eye on things. The rest of us will head out to see what is going on."

* * *

><p>There was no time to explain, no time to speculate, as the group rode in a pegasus-carriage to Konoha (pegasi being some of the fastest land-creatures out there that could be rented out). Upon reaching the Crystal Palace, they all gasped in shock as the area seemed engulfed by an aura of darkness: like a funeral shroud.<p>

"Let's go!" Alfred was about to rush forward, but Ivan stopped him mid-step, "Hey, come on, we have to go!"

"This castle has been seized." Ivan stated, Kisame agreeing,

"And until we know whether it's from human-influence or not, we can't just go in through the front door. Itachi."

"Yes?"

"Is there another way into the Palace?" Itachi had to think for a moment, back to his lesson days with Rokubi…

"Yes… Yes, there is one."

"Rokubi-sama used to always allude to this entrance when teaching me about Mystic History," Itachi explained as he led the others to the waterways of the Palace.

"Ew…" Deidara whined, "We have to go in _there_?" Itachi nodded, asking Kisame, Kakuzu, and Ivan,

"Could you all move some of the bricks so we can get through?" The three quickly grabbed bricks and started tossing them out of the way, wanting to get everyone out of the open in case this was a human attack.

When the pathway was cleared, revealing a damp walkway beside a rushing stream of water, the group slowly climbed inside. "Kind of dark in here…" Alfred whispered, "Does anyone have a light?"

"Ooh!" Tobi beamed before he reached into his pocket and brought out a flashlight, "Aw, Tobi was looking for a fire-cracker…"

"Give me that." Zetsu gently took the flashlight and turned it on, lest the joy-demon toss the device away.

* * *

><p>They walked down the dark area, Deidara yelping every time a rat scurried passed. Itachi was trying to remember where exactly the door that led into the palace.<p>

His nose twitched. A smell wafting into the air. It seemed familiar but he couldn't place it. Until Kisame announced,

"Blood." Zetsu whipped the flashlight around, trying to find the source. The light passed over a mass, the green-haired demon gulping as he moved the light back to get a better look.

"Rokubi-sama!" Itachi screamed at the sight of the Celestial, rushing over to his teacher's side, "Rokubi-sama, what happened?"

"Itachi..?" The weasel-deity whispered, a weak smile growing on his face. "Oh Itachi, you came… You have no idea… how happy that…" The deity's voice was weakening with every word. And all Itachi could think was why, _why_ had he not come here sooner? "Makes… me…"

"Rokubi-sama, what's wrong?" Itachi asked, trying to get the other to sit back up. It was then that they all noticed the blood on the floor streaming from the weasel-deity's chest.

"Such an injury!" Ivan whispered, digging into his pockets for something.

"But who would be crazy enough to attack a deity?" Sasori questioned, sincerely perplexed. Itachi's ears were hearing what the others were saying, but at the moment he was trying with all his might to perform a simple healing spell. But Rokubi was losing too much blood, it seemed like a futile effort—

"Here." Ivan offered a small bag to Kisame, who looked inside and immediately recognized its contents.

"Itachi, keep up the spell for a minute." The bluenette asked before Itachi agreed. Kisame pulled out a deep, cerise root from the bag. He broke it in half before offering it to the deity.

Rokubi slightly chewed the root at first, but then it clicked in his dimmed senses what it was, he quickly brought the rest into his mouth: chewing quickly. It took a moment, but thankfully, he started to stir.

"Oh, my head." Rokubi whimpered as he tried sitting up, looking around as if in a daze. "Was that… heart-root?"

"First of the season." Ivan commented, Itachi silently thanking him before he began,

"We came as quick as we could, Rokubi-sama. What is going on here? Does it have anything to do with the strange weather, animals, and magic fluctuations—"

"'Tachi." Kisame walked over, slowing the weasel's speech, "Give him some time to get his bearings."

"No, no…" Rokubi shook his head, "It's fine. In fact," He hissed as he forced himself up, Kisame offering him a hand. "If you could all follow me, but carefully and quietly."

* * *

><p>As soundful as the dead, Rokubi led the group through the Palace ways that most civilians had never seen before. "I called for you all concerning a matter of grave importance." Rokubi explained as they walked through a an aged, yet well-decorated hall. "But first, there are some things that I must explain."<p>

"We're all ears." Kakuzu stated, Rokubi beginning,

"As you all probably know, when Terram was created, the many creatures of this land were created to inhabit its many areas. However, at the same time… humans were created as well."

"What?" Everyone gasped, Ivan asking,

"But _why_? Why would such nuisances be created on purpose?"

"We can't question the gods," Rokubi shook his head, "All we can do is handle the cards we've been dealt. But to continue where I left off: when Amaterasu created us deities, we each had to decided what realm we would watch over.

Sanbi, of course, chose the seas. But he was curious as to why certain places didn't have as much water as others. In his travels, he came upon an area that was blocked off to our side of existence."

"The GoldStar Barrier." Itachi correctly guessed. Rokubi nodded,

"I don't know exactly what happened that day, but Sanbi caught the attention of one of the humans on the other side. Yet, even when he left that area, that one human grew _obsessed_ with him.

No one could have ever imagined what that would cause."

With that, Rokubi forced open the doors in front of them. They were now in a vast chamber with ancient windows that let light into the space. The walls were all covered in thick, antique tapestries: their colors rich and decadent despite their age.

"That one human somehow managed to get their hands on a great source of power and soon began to terrorize and wreak havoc all of Terram in a terrifying reign of chaos and bloodshed." While Rokubi was talking, one of the tapestries caught Zetsu's attention. The plant-demon walked over to it and allowed his eyes to climb up and up and _up_ the massive artifact. It depicted the woman whose statue stood out in the holy gardens. Only here, her golden hair whipped about in a still storm: as blood-stained as her body, white dress, and hands.

"Her name… Is Eris." Rokubi stated. As soon as he saw all the corpses depicted on the tapestry, Zetsu rushed back to the group with a terrified yelp.

"Zetsu-san," Tobi blinked, jumping onto the plant-demon's back, "Where'd you go?"

"Guys, calm down." Hidan hissed, maternal-instinct kicking in. Rokubi went on to say,

"Eris is the _self-proclaimed_ 'goddess' of discord and chaos. Before anyone could stop her, she ruled over Terram in a _constant_ state of anarchy and misery. Even we Celestials were powerless against her, her powers grew so intense as she conquered this world."

"But _someone_ stopped her." Kisame had to interrupt, "I mean, Terram wouldn't have been as peaceful as it's been for the past few years." For a moment, Rokubi was silent. But after a heavy sigh, he spoke,

"Out of all the Celestials, Eris only spared one of us." Rokubi walked past a tapestry that depicted Eris attacking the Celestials one by one, and another that showed her playing puppet-mistress with unfortunate civilians, before he stopped in front of a massive tapestry. "Sanbi fought against Eris for months without rest to try and save Terram, but she was always one step ahead of him.

It finally came to one final, deathly conflict. Eris had Sanbi at a harsh decision: join her and forsake everything… or fall with the rest of us." Rokubi waited for a moment, images of the past flooding into his mind. "He, of course, chose to fight."

Part of the tapestry depicted Eris going to attack Sanbi. But the she was blocked by a golden aura from the moon: Amaterasu protecting her pet. There were more scenes of violence and fighting before, finally, there was a scene depicted of Sanbi plunging a knife into his own chest.

"What happened there?" Kisame asked, panicking, "What did he do?"

"In a moment of sheer desperation," Rokubi began, his voice choking up, "Sanbi sliced through his own flesh and rent forth his own bones and some of his organs. Through the _immense_ pain and loss of blood, he used his and Amaterasu's chakra to form his bones and organs into a collection of holy musical instruments. These were… The Instruments of Unity.

When the instruments were complete, he unleashed their mighty powers onto Eris. Immediately, the exposure to such a holy power ripped away Eris's dark influence and defeated her."

"Praise Sanbi…" Kisame whistled in awe at the tapestry before he shook his head, "Wait, hold on, if he had the power to defeat Eris, why didn't he finish her off?"

"Because I begged him to have mercy!" Rokubi shouted, "Yes, alright, I admit it: I'm a sentimental fool who believes everyone has good in them! I begged him to encase her in stone so she could one day repent!"

"Hey…" Alfred offered, "Hey, it wasn't your fault. You probably just wanted to stop the violence, nothing wrong with choosing the more peaceful option."

"Yes..." Rokubi sniffled, "You Tricksters are always wise beyond your years. But I fear that my plea may have damned us all. I thought that encasing Eris in stone would have been a permanent solution…"

The weasel-deity looked upon one of the tapestries that showed Sanbi and himself standing side by side. "But the peace that the Celestials had tried to sustain has been shattered and the spells that The Instruments of Unity casted have lost their power."

They walked for a few more minutes before Rokubi stopped in front of a golden door encrusted with gems that nearly had Sasori drooling. On top of the door was a statue of Amaterasu and Tsukuyomi holding up a sapphire and emerald globe.

"This is the Hall of Graces," Rokubi clarified, "Where the Instruments are kept in case they are needed. I need all of you to wield the Instruments of Unity and stop Eris before she thrusts us all into a dark sea of mayhem once more!"

"But," Itachi asked, "Why us? I understand that Lord Sanbi and the others have been taken, but _us_?"

"Hey look!" While everyone else had been looking at the door, Tobi had bounced over to a tapestry that looked newer than the rest. "We're famous!" When the others came over, they saw quite the sight: the tapestry depicted all of them (with the addition of Sasuke and Naruto) all performing their various day to day hobbies. They were all perfectly balanced, all perfectly coexistent.

"We Celestials have been watching you all and studying Itachi's letters to me." Rokubi explained, "In your daily lives, you represent the true meaning of Unity: a true friendship between different creatures. Though it was Sanbi who originally created and handled the Instruments of Unity, he made it so that as long as a group includes one shark-demon…" He titled his head towards Kisame, "The Instruments will still respond to you. I may be the last Celestial left standing, but I _beseech_ you all: help me to drive Eris away from Terram!"

Such a heavy task. It seemed almost overwhelming. Itachi looked to his friends, to his lover: they all seemed like they knew what was expected of them. The weasel-demon nodded before beginning,

"Rokubi-sama, you can count on –"

"Hold on a second!" Tobi raised his hand, interrupting the moment as he made sure all attention was on him, "Discord and chaos comes with chocolate rain guys! _Chocolate rain!_" Zetsu and Hidan face-palmed at the same time before Itachi spoke up,

"Ignore him, he's… Something." Kisame then walked up, stating,

"It would be our honor to wield the Instruments of Unity." Rokubi nodded before walking up to the golden door. His six, silken-furred tails slowly extended from behind him: each crackling with electricity before the energies shot forth into the globe above.

The globe began spinning, growing faster until the door began to open: a shining light emanating from within. When the light faded enough so that eyes could be opened without being blinded, they all watched as a milky, ivory chest floated forth: the purest diamonds shining on top of it.

"Oh…" Sasori whispered, eyes going wide at the chest's beauty, "Keep the Instruments. I just want that case!"

"Amaterasu's graces shine forth from you all," Rokubi smiled as the chest floated in front of him. "I am more than sure that you will be able to stop Eris… With these." Rokubi clicked open the chest…

Just for it to fall to the floor: empty.

Everyone could only stare at the chest in sheer horror: especially Rokubi. But there was _one_ exception…

"Oh well," Tobi shrugged before bouncing off, "If you need Tobi, he'll be out in the chocolate rain in a chocolate puddle with a giant, chocolate-flavored sippy-straw!"

"Why do I love him?" Zetsu gritted to himself, burying his face in his palm, "Why? Why? _Why?_"

* * *

><p>"Where are the Instruments Rokubi-sama?" Kisame panicked, picking up the case and shaking it to see if they would miraculously fall out, "We can't stop Eris without them! Where are they?"<p>

"This Hall can only be opened by _my _magic!" Rokubi whispered, pacing the floor as he tried to find heads and tails of this new development. "This doesn't make sense!"

Abruptly, the Celestial was seized by some unseen force and suspended up in the air. "Rokubi-sama!" Itachi called out. His response was a scream of pain as his teacher was struck by a shot of foreign power.

"_Making sense?"_ A female voice giggled, _"Oh, what fun is there in that? Quite boring if you ask me…"_

"Eris…" Rokubi growled, actually growled, his eyes dilating as he snapped at the bodiless voice, "Damn it, show yourself!" The voice cackled this time as the unseen force began pulling at Rokubi like he was a rag-doll.

"_Did you miss me Rokubi?"_ Everyone panicked as they looked to try and find the voice's source. Finally, Kisame keyed in on the tapestry of Eris playing puppet-mistress. A moment later, her visage smirked and added, _"I can't really say that _I_ missed_ you_…"_ She then danced off of that tapestry and onto the one that depicted all of the creatures in the room. Eris took a seat on Kakuzu's picture's shoulder and sighed, _"Quite lovely be encased in stone for millennia, but you wouldn't know that, would you? Because _I_ don't force rational demons to encase people in _STONE_!"_ That last part was shrieked out before she jumped off of the stitch-demon's visage.

"Oh, _shut up_!" Rokubi shouted, "You have to be the worst plague ever released onto Terram! Now stop your trivialities and give me back the Instruments of Harmony!"

"_Oh, come now…"_ Eris smirked, _"I just _borrowed_ them for a bit."_ The blonde human snapped her fingers, the instruments on the main tapestry vanishing.

"Do you _honestly_ think that you can get away with this?" Rokubi shouted, "This _won't_ make his feelings towards me waver in the least, I hope you realize!"

"_Ugh… You are so _stubborn_!"_ Eris rolled her eyes, _"Why can't you just accept that Sanbi wants a new and improved model? It's really quite sad…"_

"Hey!" Kisame snapped, stomping over to the tapestry Eris was speaking from, "I don't care what kind of title you've made for yourself, no one disrespects any of the Celestials while _I'm _still breathing!"

"_Ooh!"_ Eris blinked before smiling, _"Such a big, strong shark-demon: Sanbi's blood runs thick in you! You must be Hoshigaki Kisame: The Paradigm of Loyalty."_

"I didn't know that I had earned a title," Kisame frowned, drawing his sword, "But I will _always_ be faithful to those who need me!"

"_Huh."_ Eris huffed, vanishing from sight, _"We'll see…"_

"Kisame!" Deidara huffed, "Don't waste your time with the tacky carpet-sample, un!" There was a flash before Eris appeared in the tapestry closest to the two fashionistos.

"_The beautiful Azumoji Deidara and the well-styled Akasuna Sasori: The Paradigms of Confidence and Charity respectively! A pleasure…"_

"Haven't you ever heard of the phrase 'loose lips sink ships'?" Kakuzu frowned as he walked over to the tapestry, "Or is that something humans don't teach their children?"

"Yeah," Hidan frowned, "You know who we are: big fucking deal!" Eris laughed as he visage on the tapestry grew to twice her original size.

"_I know more than that, Industrious Kakuzu and Honest Hidan."_

"You seem to know our strengths too." Itachi called over, Eris frowning,

"_Yes, weasel-boy,"_ She leaned against Zetsu's visage and sighed, _"And yours is the most troublesome out of them all: Mysticism. Zetsu's is Kindness—"_ at his name being mentioned, Zetsu hid behind Itachi. _"Your brother and his little Kitsune friend represent Affection, Ivan is wisdom, Alfred's is peace, what an Instrument…"_ She rolled her eyes at the Trickster Spirit before smiling, _"And Tobi-chan's is my personal favorite: Laughter!"_ As she spoke, Tobi was showing off his laughing skills at the moment: Itachi trying to stifle him.

"Tobi!" Itachi snapped, Tobi shaking his head and laughing,

"But she's shuffling on your head!" Indeed, Eris was dancing on Itachi's tapestry visage's head, humming,

"_Every day I'm shuffling!"_ **( 2 )**

"Just tell me what you've done with the Instruments of Unity!" Rokubi snapped, nearly biting his lip in two as he was electrocuted by Eris's power.

"_Fine! You old cow,"_ Eris stopped dancing, tapping a finger to her lips, _"I'll tell you, but I'll only tell you in _my_ way! See if you can keep up."_ She vanished before reappearing on the main tapestry. _"Twists and turns are my master plan,"_ The woman danced about the elegant fabric and dyes, humming to accompany her delicate movements,

"_Then find your precious instruments back where you began…"_ She then danced back to her original tapestry before her visage settled back into position. But in advance to her leaving completely, a bright light surrounded Rokubi's body: his screams echoing out through the chamber.

Finally, when the light dimmed, Itachi nearly screamed as the Celestial had been turned into a simple, fabric doll-version of his former self.

"_Much better."_ Eris's voice commented before the doll vanished, the human's laughter echoing until it went away all together.

"We are so fucked." Hidan gulped, the group silently sharing the same sentiment. Zetsu especially.

"Itachi, I'm sorry; this is too much!" He whined, trying to burrow his way into the ground, "Can we _please_ go home now?"

"Quite the riddle…" Ivan mused as he walked over to Kisame and Itachi, "Twisting and turning just to end up where you start." The Baba Yaga hummed before asking, "You're thoughts Itachi?"

The weasel-demon walked to one of the windows, still a bit shaken by what had happened to his mentor. But he blinked upon seeing the Holy Gardens outside: the hedges and plants making a complex maze. "The Labyrinth of the Holy Gardens. That has to be it: Eris has the Instruments hidden inside!"

"Well then let's go!" Alfred whooped, Kakuzu agreeing,

"The sooner we get them, the sooner Eris will be out of our hair."

It was settled: in order to save Terram and rescue the ten Celestials from their current ensnarement, they had to go deep within the verdant maze out in the distance.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**( 1 ) Remember when this was a thing? Huh? **

**( 2 ) The scene that launched a thousand videos with LMFAO's 'Party Rock Anthem'. Long chapters are long. Hopefully it kind of makes up for my absence? **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	9. Normal's Boring! Bring in Mayhem! Part 2

As quickly as they could with a pregnant demon in tow, the group rushed through the Holy Gardens until they made it to the entrance of the labyrinth. The hedge walls looked downright imposing with the sky quickly growing dark.

"We…" Zetsu trembled, "Have to go in _there_?"

"Hardly." Kisame stated before laying out the battle-plan, "Deidara, Alfred, you two fly up and see if you can find the fastest way to the maze's center." He then turned towards the river that ran along the maze, "I'll take a dive and see what I can find." The bird-demon and the Trickster nodded before shifting into their avian selves and flapping off.

Kisame dived into the water, everyone waiting for any of the three to come back. But, surprisingly, Kisame immediately shot out of the water: choking and hyperventilating.

"Kisame, what happened?" Itachi asked, trying to calm his lover down. Kisame only looked at the ground with eyes widened in shock before he explained, "I went underwater… But I couldn't _breathe_." He shot his head up, "I couldn't _breathe_ Itachi!" Itachi was confused,

"What do you mean—" He didn't get to think too much into it, however, because the sound of Deidara and Alfred screaming took all attention in the area: the two blondes plummeting to the ground.

"We can't shift!" Alfred shouted, wincing as Ivan helped him up. Deidara clarified,

"As soon as we got up there, our bodies shifted back to normal despite our demands for them not to, un!" Before anyone could think about them, everyone faltered on their feet for a moment: feeling inexplicably weaker.

"The fuck was that?" Hidan asked, pressing a hand against his forehead to check for a fever. But when he pulled it away and looked at his hand. "KAKUZU!"

At this point, Zetsu was screaming too. Finally, Itachi and Kisame looked at their hands. It took all of a few seconds for them to scream,

"Your chakra-mark! My chakra-mark!" A shrill scream came from Deidara, Sasori holding the bird-demon up as he almost fainted.

Their chakra (magic) marks, all of them, that they had worked so hard for… Had vanished.

While the demons were all panicking, a bright light appeared in front of the labyrinth entrance. They all stopped to watch as the light dissipated.

There, with flowing curls of gold, a skimpy white outfit that left nothing to the imagination, and a malicious smile, stood 'goddess' of chaos, Eris. She looked around before breaking into a laughing fit: lightning crashing around her.

"Oh, you should have seen the looks on your faces! _Priceless_!" But Kisame was _not_ in the mood for laughter,

"Cut the bull and give us back our chakra-marks!"

"All in due time, my scintillating sharkie…" Eris sighed, vanishing in a blue poof of smoke. She appeared behind Kakuzu, pressing herself against his frame,

"I just took them _and_ your powers to ensure that that there's no cheating. Huh big guy?"

"Bitch!" Hidan hissed, about to shove her away just to be met with smoke as she vanished.

"These are just the first conditions of our little game here," Eris smirked, giving an extra switch of her hips as she appeared in the middle of the group, "_No_ special skills… And _no_ chakra or magic."

"The… first rule?" Alfred blinked, Eris poofing in behind him and smiling,

"The second rule is that _everyone_ has to play the game all the way through or else the challenge is over and _I_ win!" She looked around once more before cheering, "Go get 'em boys! Ha ha!", and disappearing in a large cloud of smoke.

"We are so fucked!" Hidan hissed, Deidara sobbing,

"What are we going to do? What are we going to do?" The hysteria was swelling by the second, Itachi finally stating,

"Everyone calm down! We are still together, we can still find a way out of this!" Kisame nodded,

"'Tachi's right: we can overcome anything as long as we stand Unified in the face of adversity." The reassuring words were doing their jobs: calming everyone in the vicinity down a bit.

"So everyone," Itachi stated as they all walked to the labyrinth entrance, "Let's get through this…"

"As a team!" They all shouted, stepping into the entrance at the same time. Abruptly, hedges and rose bushes shot up from the ground: separating each male from their friends, some screaming at the sight.

"Everybody stay calm!" Hidan shouted. Kisame tried to climb the hedge wall to get to Itachi but had to stop when the rose thorns kept digging into his skin.

"Shit!" He gritted out before stating, "We should all head for the center of the maze!"

"Keep your heads about you!" Kakuzu called out before rushing off.

"Try not to get to dirty!" Sasori winced, carefully making his way down the dirt path.

"Let's git'r done!" Alfred whooped, running off; Ivan commenting,

"I shall see you all there!"

"Hey, wait up, un!" Deidara huffed as he heard all of the voices leaving.

"TTFN!" Tobi giggled as he bounced off, "Ta-ta for now!" Soon all of the demons had left to try and find their ways through the maze. Well, most of the demons…

"What's that?" Zetsu whipped his head around, eyes wide as his fear was making him hyperventilate, "Who said that? Wait, what?" After a second he simply shouted, "GUYS!", as he found out he was alone.

* * *

><p>Kakuzu quickly jogged through his path, trying to keep an eye on certain details so that he wouldn't get lost. He soon came to a place where his path split into three parts. "Great…" He rolled his emerald green eyes before cupping a hand over his ear to listen for any indicator as to where to go.<p>

_Click-click-click. _

_Ka-Ching! Winner!_

"What?' He blinked, listening for the strange sound again.

_Click-click-click._

_Ka-Ching! Winner!_

"That's a Z42-Model Cash-Ringer Slot-Machine." The stitch-demon realized, subconsciously following the sounds that the unseen machine was making: the back of his hand itching. He soon found himself in what appeared to be a casino room decorated, which was strange because wasn't he just in a garden maze?

He walked forth, feeling a bit apprehensive of entering this place (it reminded him far too much of his childhood), but he soon came to a lone slot-machine: brightly blinking, beckoning him over.

"I really need to get out of here." Kakuzu whispered, averting his eyes from the slot-machine; yet he couldn't deny that it had an attractive presence.

"Where you headed off to, sugar?" Faster than a train, Kakuzu turned to see blonde bunny-waitresses standing by the slot-machine. "Don't you want to sit down for a bit? Try your luck?"

"No." Kakuzu replied, "I have something important to do. I should really get going."

"Oh, now hush." One of the bunny-waitresses smiled, reaching in between her breasts and pulling out a gold coin with an exact replica of Kakuzu's chakra-mark on it. "Surely you can take a minute to relax…" She tossed the coin up into the air, the golden disc flipping once… twice… before she caught it. She did it again. One flip… two flips… Catch.

One flip… two flips… Catch.

Her counterpart smiled as she saw the coin taking its effect of the stitch-demon: his eyes glazed over as if he were in a daze. "Maybe I can try a round…" He droned as he stepped forward and sat down, "Or two…"

"That's the ticket!" The bunny-waitress gave Kakuzu the coin, smiling as he slid it in and pulled the lever.

_Click._ Emerald.

_Click._ Emerald.

_Click._ Emerald.

_Ka-Ching! Winner!_ No sooner had the machine announced it did a puddle of golden coins spill out into Kakuzu's lap.

"Wow." He blinked in awe, the bunny-waitresses jumping to either side of him and chiming,

"See? Isn't this a fun, _easy_ way of making money? You can just sit here, relax, eat, drink… And the money will just keep rolling in."

"But…" Kakuzu shook his head, trying to remember what he was doing before he had come in here, "There was something… I needed to do…"

"Oh hush." The first bunny-waitress shook her head, "You keep on playing and we'll bring you some food." Kakuzu put another coin in, pulling the lever and watching more money spill out. But what the bunny had said tried to click something in him.

"Food…" He murmured, "Farming… Family…" Suddenly, he sneered: placing another coin in the slot-machine. "Such stupid logic. I'm making more money _here_ than I did in months at that stupid farm! Probably because of all those damn mouths to feed…" So Kakuzu sat there and played, earning more and more money: not noticing his body's color dimming to half its original state…

* * *

><p>Hidan ran this way, that way, trying to find the center of the maze. He had gotten lost a few times because of his urgency, but he wasn't giving up. He <em>couldn't <em>give up, not without knowing that his family and loved ones would be alright.

The cat-demon was about to rush down another path when he noticed something odd. He walked closer to what seemed to be a scarlet scythe chopping down stray branches from trees. "The hell?" He whispered, rubbing at the back of his hand.

The scythe seemed to sense his presence, floating away lest the albino get too close. "Hey!" Hidan hissed, rushing after the weapon. The scythe led him down some dark, obscure path, but Hidan was too focused on following the weapon to wherever it was going.

It finally stopped: suspended in mid-air by an unseen force. "Where the fuck am I?" He whispered, looking at the small grove he had stumbled upon. Suddenly, two more scythes appeared to join the first: one white and one black. The weapons circled each other before three cloaked figures faded in from the darkness to claim them: each figure's cloak matching the scythe they grabbed.

Silently they all turned towards Hidan, the cat-demon asking, "Who are you? Tell me where the hell I am!" The one in the white cloak stated, in a ghastly voice,

"The keepers of Jashin's Grove of Knowledge…"

"You may ask us…" The red cloak spoke, the black cloak finishing,

"One question…"

"Past…"

"Future…"

"Or present…" Hidan flinched as the cloaks began to float around him, still speaking in those _ghastly_ voices, "But be warned…"

"That the truth…"

"Might not always be _pleasant_…"

"Fine then!" Hidan jumped back, keeping as much distance from these specters as possible, "I don't trust you all farther than I could throw you _or_ believe that lord Jashin could make such a freaky place… But I am curious about this bitch Eris…" He sighed, "What's going to happen with this journey we're on?"

The specters stopped circling in favor of pointing their scythes towards the small lake ahead of them. "For the answers you seek…"

"Go ahead…"

"Take a peek…" Hidan nodded, walking towards the pond and looking at the clear waters.

_The waters soon clouded up, visions of Adamant Falls falling apart at the seams. He saw his children being chased by human soldiers and nearly jumped into the pond to save them when he remembered that it was just a vision. _

_But where were his friends? Where were they in all this chaos. The vision panned over to see their group standing at odds against each other. Kisame shouted, "Go on and leave then! You never did anything useful anyway!" _

"_Says the muscle-bound idiot!" Zetsu snapped. Sasori could only laugh, _

"_Ha! The coward finally grows a backbone!" _

"_I cannot believe that I was leaving Glaciu for this…" Ivan shook his head in disgust. But Kakuzu quickly growled, _

"_Then go on home to your ice cube, freak!" _

"_I've had it!" Itachi shouted out in sheer rage, the demons all going their separate ways once and for all. _

"NO!" Hidan shouted, "Go back, damn it! You have to go back!" The cat-demon could barely breathe. This couldn't happen, could it? "Why..? Fuck, this can't happen!"

Unbeknownst to Hidan, floating above him was a giggling Eris who was controlling the three specters via magical puppet-strings.

"It's not true…" Hidan shook his head, tears rippling the water's surface as the pond showed images of the couples breaking up: Kakuzu abandoning him and his family, "Damn it, IT'S NOT TRUE!" Suddenly the red cloak floated up in front of Hidan's, rasping out,

"When all the truth does is make your heart ache…" The albino gasped as the cloak's hood fell back to reveal Eris's face: the human smirking,

"Sometimes a _lie_ is easier to take!" Her eyes sparkled then, Hidan's eyes taking on the same sickly daze that Kakuzu's had. Eris cackled as she and her puppets floated off, Hidan standing stupefied as his body's color dimmed…

* * *

><p>"Easy…" Itachi breathed to himself as he slowly walked through the paths, trying not to cause any shock to his body but not to take forever getting to the maze center. He was taking a breather when the maze walls shifted to reveal… "Kakuzu! Hidan!"<p>

Kakuzu didn't answer, in too much a daze as he rolled about in a pile of… "Are those oyster-shells?" Itachi asked, confused. But Kakuzu only looked around at what he saw as his new wealth. "Um…" The weasel-demon gulped, looking to Hidan. "Hidan, thank goodness! I thought I heard voices over here!" Hidan shook himself out of his astonishment, but his body was still under that strange daze as he snapped,

"Well you didn't! There's no one here!"

"What?" Itachi tilted his head, but Kakuzu's right over there." Upon hearing his name mentioned, Kakuzu quickly wrapped all of his 'earnings' in a fabric bag and shouted,

"Ha! Try and take my money now you poor, filthy beggars!" Kakuzu then began to carry his loot away.

"Uh, Hidan, is Kakuzu alright?" Itachi asked the cat-demon who rolled his eyes,

"He's _fine_! Just normal Kakuzu, come on we need to go!" Itachi winced as Hidan pulled him along, probably thinking that he was helping but doing a rough job of it. All the while, Itachi could only think:

'Did Hidan just… No. No, he couldn't have.'

* * *

><p>Happy whistling could be heard through the labyrinth as Tobi bounced along his own pathway. He seemed to be in his own little world, bouncing and whistling: stars in his eyes as he looked around at everything with perfect optimism.<p>

He abruptly stopped his paces when he bounced into a brightly decorated picnic area: with balloons, funny masks and cakes and a fountain that shot forth brightly colored fireworks… like the ones of Tobi's chakra-mark.

Tobi didn't notice his hand itching as he bounced on in, giggling, "Yay! This is the _best_ Firework/Balloon/Funny Mask/Cake garden Tobi's ever been in!" He thought for second, then added, "It's the _only_ Firework/Balloon/Funny Mask/Cake garden Tobi's ever been in, but _still_!" Suddenly, a firecracker went off underneath him: startling the poor joy-demon so badly that he fell back into a puddle of mud.

"Owie…" He sniffled as he tried to get up, his whole person covered in mud. Tobi looked around, confused, as the balloons and funny masks started laughing. But it was _off_ somehow… "What's going on?" He whimpered.

In another poof of blue smoke, Eris appeared asking in false sympathy, "What's the matter Tobi? I thought you appreciated a good laugh."

"Oh, um…" Tobi tried wiping himself down, "Hi. Tobi does like laughing but… This feels different. Like they're laughing… _At_ Tobi." Eris walked over to one of the masks, her golden heels barely leaving an indent in the ground, and covered her face with it as she spoke,

"It's hard being different, isn't it?" She walked away, but her head was missing: the mask's mouth moving along with her speech, "_Your_ friends laugh at you _all_ the time!" Tobi shook his head,

"You're funny! Tobi's friends laugh _with_ him, not _at_ Tobi!" The Eris mask could only smirk,

"Oh really?" It flew over, circling Tobi again and again as she cackled at the joy-demon: more voices echoing in to join hers. Tobi was getting scared, his eyes widening in fear as he tried backing away.

"No…" He shook his head, panic setting in, "Stop it – Ah!" He was grabbed from behind before being shoved into the mud puddle again. When he turned around, he saw masks depicting the others in the group. But their faces were twisted in awful, sneering looks as they laughed and jeered at Tobi's misfortune. "Stop it!" He sobbed, tears streaming down his cheeks, "Stop laughing at me, _please stop!_" The joy-demon collapsed to the floor, trembling into a fetal-position as he begged, "_Please_… Make it stop… Someone, _please…"_

"Oh poor little Tobi…" The Eris mask cooed as it floated closer to Tobi's face, "And here I thought that laughter made you… _happy_." Tobi looked up just in time to see the mask's eyes sparkle. His wide eyes grew narrow and hazy before he gritted his teeth, his voice significantly deeper,

"Happy?" Tobi stood, his hair growing out and his eyes turning red before he growled, "I… don't… do… HAPPY!" That sentence ended in a yell as Madara rushed forward and started ripping apart the decorations, destroying the cakes and masks, and dowsing the fireworks in the fountain: his body's color fading with every move.

The rest of the balloons floated away, revealing the path that Itachi, Hidan, and Kakuzu were walking on.

"Tobi!" Itachi called over as he moved closer to his cousin, "Am I glad to see you!" Madara sneered as he saw the weasel-demon coming over,

"Oh you are, aren't you _fatty_? Well I guess your type need to be jolly: you probably need a good laugh!" He then stormed off, shouting at Kakuzu to move before they walked down the path. Itachi could only blink at his cousin's outburst, asking Hidan,

"What could have made him so upset? He's acting so unlike himself." Hidan scoffed,

"Tobi seemed _perfectly_ normal! Nothing's wrong with him! Let's go!" As Hidan tugged him along, Itachi mentally sighed,

'The stress of this place is getting to them… It has to be. We need to find the others before it gets to _all_ of us.' So they walked on, the Eris mask floating after them.

* * *

><p>Ivan was probably the slowest in the group due to his not wanting to make any mistakes. "Slow and steady, the tortoise was saying to the hare." He reminded himself as he walked down the largest path.<p>

He was calmly walking along until he heard the tell-tale sound of snowfall. It was a delicate noise but if you were a creature whose life revolved around snow, you could hear the smallest signals of it.

The Baba Yaga turned around to see a new path with large, crystalline snowflakes strewn about: almost exactly like the one that used to be on his hand. He scratched it when it itched but he followed the icy path until he looked and saw that he was in an icy graveyard.

"Hello?" He called out, "Is anyone here?" At first, he didn't get an answer so he was about to try and leave.

"_Vanya!"_

"Katyusha?" He whispered, looking around to see a sight that made his heart almost stop. In front of him were three icy coffins suspended in mid-air. And each one contained a member of his family: his father, his older sister, and his younger sister.

"_Ivan!"_ Winter banged his fist against the wall of his prison, _"Get us out!"_

"Hold on!" Ivan called out, about to rush over. But a wall of fire stopped him from getting closer. It parted long enough for Eris to walk forward, smiling,

"Hello big boy."

"Release my family!" Ivan demanded, "They have nothing to do with this!"

"Hey, hey!" Eris held her hands up in defense, "I'm trying to make a peaceful bargain here!" Ivan wasn't hearing it.

"I refuse to talk with a human."

"Just hear me out." Eris pouted, "If you can answer a riddle of mine, just _one_ riddle, I'll free your family _and_ tell you where I hid the Instruments." Ivan was silent: it just seemed too simple.

"_One_ riddle?" Ivan asked, "Just a single, verbal riddle?"

"Like something you would find in a children's storybook." Eris nodded. Ivan thought of the bargain for a few moments longer before he agreed. "Good! Now here's your riddle: what walks on four legs when the sun rises… two legs in the mid-day… and three legs when the sun sets?"

"Oh that is easy!" Ivan rolled his eyes, his wise mind already cranking away, "The answer is…" The cream-haired male faltered, "The answer is… Oh gods." He gulped as he tried to think, "The answer is… Oh gods, I should be knowing this!"

"Tick-tock…" Eris hummed, the fire wall moving closer to the ice-coffins. Natalia looked at the sight and screamed,

"_Big brother!"_

"The answer is…" Ivan panicked, clawing at his hair: his mind at a complete stand-still, "Shit! No, no, no! Why can't I think?"

"Oh!" Eris clapped her hands, smirking, "Time's up."

"Wait, what?" Ivan gasped, watching in horror as the coffins were surrounded by flame, "NYET! NO, STOP!" The flames only increased, the Baba Yaga collapsing to his knees and sobbing, "Please… Don't do this…"

"Oh…" Eris clicked her tongue as if consoling a baby, "But what's done is done. It's not your fault that you failed. Well," She thought for a second, "It kind of _is_ your fault. But still, you really are pathetic." She tilted his head towards her and stated, her blue eyes sparkling,

"All the world's knowledge and a rapier wit,

Just to learn the hard way that they don't mean shit." Ivan gasped, feeling his breath leave him as rapidly as his body's color…

* * *

><p>"Guys?" Alfred called out as he rushed down path after path in the maze, trying to find Ivan and the others. He was about to run back where he started when the shriek of an eagle caught his attention. He looked up to see an eagle flying through the air, stars following every flap of its powerful wings.<p>

Alfred followed the bird, ignoring the itching on his hand and all rational thought in favor of following the bird.

It led him into a desert, not unlike his homeland, and more than a bit out of place in a garden maze.

"Can I ask you something?" The Trickster Spirit flinched, turning around to see Eris sitting on a rock, "What does _peace_ get anyone?"

"Well," Alfred began, "What's punching someone in the face going to get ya? You should take about why you're upset with that person."

"What if that person has done some _inexplicably_ horrible wrong onto you?" Eris asked, Alfred replying,

"Turn the other cheek."

"Really?" Eris smirked before snapping her fingers and disappearing in a poof of smoke. The Trickster coughed as the perfumed smoke overwhelmed his senses for a moment.

When it faded, Alfred tried to find a way out of this strange desert… A pained yelp stopped him in his tracks; the blonde's widening as he saw a sickening sight.

His baby brother Matthew (Dances in Snow to any Trickster Spirit) coughed as he was pushed to the ground: his face caked over in blood. "Dances in Snow!" Alfred shouted, about to rush over immediately. He was stopped, however, when he saw _who_ was attacking his brother.

They may have been encompassed in shadow but he could recognize the figures' shapes as clear as day. His friends… At least, who he thought were his friends… "Guys, what the hell?" The Trickster shouted, charging over, "Get the fuck away from my brother!"

The shadows ignored the blonde's demands, still pummeling Matthew within an inch of his life. "Cut it out, damn it!" Alfred tried again, his breathing getting haggard as rage bubbled inside of him.

But when he was answered by only his brother's screams of agony, Alfred didn't know what to do! He had tried talking to them, but they wouldn't listen and Matthew was still getting pummeled. At this rate, he was going to witness his brother's death…

In his panic, he looked to the ground: finding a knife that had been embedded into the harsh, dry ground.

His blue eyes grew hazy and his body's color dimmed as he grabbed it, screaming as he rushed into the fray: the only thing on his mind being the need to kill… The need to shed blood.

* * *

><p>"Are we there yet?" Madara frowned as he, Kakuzu, Hidan, and Itachi walked through the maze. "I'm getting sick of this fucking maze!"<p>

"Pay me and I'll tell you." Kakuzu replied, still carrying his 'money' around on his back. The wall next to them seemed to melt, as if ice, before Itachi looked and saw

"Ivan! Alfred!" Ivan looked about, as if confused, but didn't respond. However, Alfred…

They all jumped out of the way as Alfred ran screaming and whooping at them: jumping on Kakuzu and punching him over and over again. "Get the hell off of me!" The stitch-demon growled, shoving Alfred away. But the Trickster only decided to go for Madara and try to force his face into the ground.

"Get off, you fucking spazz!" Madara gave a sharp right hook, disorienting the Trickster Spirit for a minute. Itachi took the opportunity to go see what was with Ivan.

"You okay?" The brunette asked.

"Uh…" The Baba Yaga looked up, then down, before stating: slowly, unsure, "Me… not… think so good."

"Okay…" Itachi raised an eyebrow before calling out to Alfred, "Calm down, there's no reason to be fighting!"

"Oh yeah?" Alfred huffed, walking away from Madara, "Okay then. Fine. But the second one of you tries something, all of y'all heads are gonna roll!" They all then began moving on, Itachi practically walking on pins and needles around the Trickster Spirit…

* * *

><p>"Oh…" That groan came from Deidara, the bird demon leaning against one of the maze walls as he whined out in exhaustion, "I'm <em>tired<em> un! This saving Terram business is more work than I thought it would be!" He then decided to walk some more and by more we mean that he hadn't even moved five feet from the labyrinth entrance.

"Well," The bird-demon smiled, "I _have_ to get to the center, I mean – Without me, the world just doesn't shine as brightly. Oh, that reminds me," Deidara stopped for a moment, taking out a compact mirror and lip gloss, "Can't go to a victory party with chapped lips, un!"

A phoenix cried in the distance.

"What's that?" He blinked, looking up and seeing a phoenix soaring by. "Oh, hello!" The bird-demon started after the gorgeous bird, ignoring how his hand itched. The phoenix flew and flew until it crashed into a clearing, exploding into a cloud of multi-colored ashes. "Well, _that's_ just great." Deidara looked around the new area, seeing that there were quite a few paths leading out of it. "Now where do I-"

Savage growling rolled in front each of the pathways, Deidara's blood running cold at the realization that hit him like a ton of bricks. "Oh gods no…" He shook his head, "It can't be…" From every pathway, drool dripping from their jowls, dog-demons stalked forth: wickedness in their dark eyes… Especially the one in charge of things.

"Hello Deidara…" Shade, the owner of the Spinegate work-camp, smirked at his favorite play-thing.

"No!" The blonde shouted as he immediately bolted down the one free pathway.

"You can't get out of this Deidara!" Shade leered as he and the other dog-demons chased the bird-demon down. "You'll trip up, you always do!"

"Leave me alone!" Deidara choked out, desperate to keep as much distance between him and the dog-demons as possible.

He came to an abrupt halt: his feet tripping over a stone in the way. A horrified gasp was ripped out of his throat when he felt rough hands pulling at his clothes. "Get off!" He desperately tried kicking the other away, "Get the fuck off of me! Let me go!"

"You're mine Deidara…" Shade licked his lips, draping himself over the bird-demon, "The fact that you thought you could run from me… That you were so _confident_ in your little delusions of a happy, _normal_ life… So comical."

"No…" Deidara whispered, his eyes glazing over, "Danna promised me…" The sound of a conversation across the way pulled him away from his current nightmare. He immediately shouted, "DANNA, HELP ME!", upon seeing the scorpion-demon.

However…

* * *

><p>A few moments earlier, Sasori had been walking through the maze, huffing and complaining, "When I heard that we were coming to Konoha, I expected an audience with the Celestials… <em>Not<em> outdoor sports – Ack!" He hadn't been watching his steps, so of course he crashed into something.

It was what that _something _was that had Sasori's copper eyes widening and his jaw dropping. "Oh my…" He whispered upon seeing the most beautiful ruby scorpion embedded into a massive stone slab. The slight itching on his hand was ignored as the spectacle shined and sparkled more than a star.

In a flash, Eris's face appeared on the gem's surface: giggling at Sasori's confusion. "Today's your lucky day Sasori," Eris smiled, "You've found the one thing that can rival my face in sheer brilliance!" The scorpion gleamed and sparkled once more before Eris asked, "What do you think? You likey?"

"Yes…" Sasori sighed in a wistful confusion, his eyes glazed over as he walked towards the gem.

"Good, good…" Eris stated, "There are just a few things we need to take care of. First," She blinked, eyes sparkling, "Do you want this gem more than your friends?"

"Yes…" Sasori nodded, not even thinking twice.

"How about your family?" Eris added, "And your boutique?"

"But of course…" The red-head replied, drool of longing dripping from the corner of his mouth. Finally, Eris went in for the kill,

"You see that bird-demon over there?" Sasori turned slightly, so as not to lose track of the gem, frowning,

"What about him?"

"He's your fiancé!" Eris cried in faux shock before she stated, loud enough for Deidara to hear, "Do you really care more about this gem than your love?"

"But of course!" Sasori answered wholeheartedly, pressing himself against the slab, "Do you have to even ask?"

"Danna..?" Deidara whimpered, shaking his head as he heard all of the dog-demons laughing at him. "No, wait, danna please!"

"So would you say," Eris asked the spell-bound scorpion-demon, "That you would give up that bird-demon for this gem?"

"YES!" Sasori shouted as his color faded. He then began to try and claw the gem out: not noticing his nails being broken or fingers growing bloody as he did, all his focus on getting that ruby.

"What do you think of that…" Shade whispered as he leaned to lick at Deidara's ear, "Goldie?" The dog-demons only laughed and howled into the air as Deidara's color faded and he just allowed them to do as they wanted.

No one cared… No one ever cared.

Why would they care about the ugly, miserable wretch Azumoji Deidara?

But Sasori ignored the scene entirely, especially when the last of the slab crumbled away. "Well Sasori," He chuckled, "It took us a while, but I did it!" He rushed over to what had been revealed to be a gigantic, pristine-cut ruby. "Such a beauty! I think I'm in love~!"

"You might need this." Eris's voice echoed before a wheelbarrow appeared. With what little strength he had, he pushed the ruby inside and began the long struggle of pushing it down the path: still ignoring Deidara's torment…

* * *

><p>Another slab crumbled down but from a path that the others were walking down. Itachi looked over, the visions that Sasori and Deidara had been under invisible to him, and stated, "Deidara! Sasori, you – Oh dear gods," Itachi sighed, shaking his head, "<em>Why<em> are you carrying a gigantic boulder?"

"Boulder?" Sasori frowned, blind to the fact that what he was lugging around was, in fact, a run of the mill boulder. "Open your _eyes_, Itachi! This stunning beauty," He kissed the boulder like one would a lover, "Is a _ruby_! And she's mine, mine, _MINE!_" He stopped for a moment, forcing everyone back five feet at the least, "Keep your grubby little hands off it! She came to me, she's _mine_!"

"Itachi…" Deidara sobbed, standing to desperately cling at Itachi. "I'm pretty, right? Please, for the love of gods, tell me I'm pretty!"

"Deidara, what is it?" Itachi asked, confused at the bird-demon's behavior.

"_Someone_ in this world cares about me, right? I – I have to be loved by _someone_, un!"

"Don't make him lie!" Sasori hissed, pushing the wheelbarrow that held the ruby-disguised boulder, "Now get moving you eye-sore!"

"Yeah!" Madara shoved the blonde aside, "No one has time for you!" The others began walking off, but Itachi stayed to help Deidara to his feet. But the bird-demon still sobbed,

"No one cares… No one cares…"

* * *

><p>At the other side of the maze, Zetsu peeked his eyes from a bush: golden eyes looking in from side to side in paranoia before he jumped out. "I can do this… Maybe… I don't know!" The poor plant-demon was scared out of his wits as he tried to find his way through the maze.<p>

His legs threatened to buckle from the combination of stress and terror. There was a rustling noise from the ground, Zetsu yelping and jumping back into the bushes. But he peeked out of the bushes again, seeing that the rustling was a Venus fly-trap plant growing across the ground.

"Wait a minute. Madame Venus, wait!" He called after the fly-trap, his hands itching as he tried to follow the plant to safety. "Please, don't leave me here!"

The fly-trap wound itself through the maze, Zetsu following along like a lost puppy until he found himself alone again. "Zetsu…" He turned to see the fly-trap rising up to speak to him in Eris's voice, "Looks like you've been left behind by your so-called 'friends', hm? So much for 'unity'…"

"Oh no…" The green-haired shook his head, "I'm sure that they're doing their best to find me." The fly-trap hummed, coiling around Zetsu's feet,

"Well, you have to be so upset! Knowing how weak and helpless they think you are!" But Zetsu shook his head again, smiling,

"Not at all, you see: out of all my friends, I _am_ the weakest and the most helpless! Even more so than Tobi at times! I actually appreciate their understanding."

"Yes, well," The fly-trap choked as it lowered close to Zetsu's face, "_Surely_ it burns you up! I mean, they _always _point out your flaws!" But still, Zetsu wasn't fazed,

"No, not really. I think I'm quite lucky to have friends who care about me so much that they want to see me be the best demon I could be." Abruptly, the fly-trap exploded in a poof of smoke, Eris screaming,

"AGH! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" Faster than Zetsu could react, she slapped him to the ground, snapping, "Nice guys finish last, kid! You need to try being cruel!" Her eyes sparkled despite her anger, causing Zetsu's color to fade and his eyes to glaze over. When she saw his white skin turning black, almost darker that it usually would, she scoffed, "Au revoir mother-fucker!", before she vanished.

* * *

><p>The wall nearest Zetsu sank into the ground, Itachi and the others seeing the plant-demon faltering on his feet. "Zetsu… So good to see a friendly face!" Itachi slowly walked over to Zetsu, touching a hand to the plant-demon's shoulder: unknowingly snapping him out of his trance, "This horrid labyrinth is getting to everyone." He turned back and saw Kakuzu counting his 'money', Hidan impatiently tapping his feet, Madara looking none too pleased to see Zetsu, Alfred fighting Sasori for no reason, Sasori fighting Alfred because he thought the Trickster wanted his 'gem', and Deidara looking like he sincerely wanted to die. And they all looked so <em>grey<em>.

Imagine Itachi's shock when Zetsu turned and jeered, "Oh, boo-hoo-hoo! Can't you do anything else but bitch and complain?"

"Zetsu?" Itachi asked in open-mouth shock. The plant-demon went on to scowl out,

"Why don't you wave your _sparkly, magic fingers_ and make everything _right_? Oh wait." He suddenly smirked, shooting forth a foot and tripping the pregnant demon to the floor, "You can't. Useless, good for nothing…"

Itachi slowly got up, hoping to the gods that nothing had been hurt or jostled, and rubbed his stomach before looking around and asking, "What the _hell_ is going on with all of you?" Zetsu walked over to the rest of the group before shoving Madara into a hedge, Hidan and Ivan laughing at the sight before the joy-demon (not too joyful at this point), snapped,

"The fuck are you two dipshits laughing at?"

"Uh…" Ivan bit his lip before asking, "Who are you? Are you my mommy?" Madara rolled his eyes then glaring at Hidan, who quickly lied,

"Chocolate milk?"

"You _couldn't_ pay me enough to get involved in that mess." Kakuzu scoffed, walking away with his precious package.

"Hey, you over there!" Sasori called over to Itachi, "The whale in the red kimono! Make yourself useful and _help_ me!"

"Even if I _could_," Itachi sighed, gesturing down to his stomach, "I wouldn't! You should help Deidara, I think something's really wrong with him!"

"Oh, that's right!" Sasori smiled before snapping to the blonde, "Get up here, you useless feather-bag! Make something of yourself!" Deidara quietly moved over and started to help Sasori push the wheelbarrow: Sasori spouting all of the worst insults to the blonde as they moved.

* * *

><p>Kisame quickly made his way through the maze, careful to take cover whenever he thought he heard something suspicious. He had just moved out of his concealment when he heard the familiar sound of waves in the distance.<p>

"Come into my parlor," He whispered, rubbing his itching hands, "Said the spider to the fly." He quickly followed the sound, sure that even though it was a ploy it would lead him to the Instruments.

Yet he stopped when he found himself walking onto a small yet beautiful beach. The only thing ruining it was the sight of Eris in a white string-bikini rubbing tanning oil on herself. "Aren't beaches wonderful?" She asked, "So relaxing…"

"Are you sure that you're a woman?" Kisame narrowed his eyes, "Because you must have some serious balls to put my lover through this while he's _pregnant_ nonetheless!"

"That's kind of rude!" Eris pouted, strolling to stand a few heads shorter than the shark-demon, "And here I was: about to go out of the way to give you a message." Kisame immediately reached for his sword, retorting,

"The only message that needs to be delivered is the one my _sword_ has for your _face_!"

"Alright, screw it," Eris frowned, "Listen up big blue because this is important." She sidled up close and then smiled, "A crucial choice is yours to make,

The right resolution

Or a _huge _mistake!

If the wrong selection is what you choose

The foundation of home… shall crumble around you…" Before Kisame could ask what the hell she meant, Eris caused the ocean waters to turn dark: visions of his home appearing in it.

"Adamant Sea City…" Kisame whispered as he saw the metropolis appear. However, it soon began crashing apart: buildings falling down all around and water-demons rushing about in a frenzy, "Crumble… Without me..?" A vision of a building collapsing on his mother is what caused him to crack. "NO!" He screamed, his eyes glazed over in the illusion.

The ocean reverted back to normal, Kisame flinching as a blue, glass orb appeared in front of him. "This contains your chakra-mark and chakra," Eris explained, the orb resting in her palm as she circled about Kisame, adding, "You can take it and leave the game _or_ you can continue on, wandering this maze for all eternity…" She then leaned up on her tip-toes and kissed the captivated bluenette on the cheek, watching his color drain away.

"Your choice…"

* * *

><p>Since no one seemed to care about the fact that someone in their midst was walking for two, the others in the group walked on ahead of Itachi. But the weasel-demon desperately needed a rest. He leaned against one of the walls, panting out in sheer exhaustion, "Have to… find… Kisame… Together, we can beat this… United we stand…" He allowed himself a slight smile as he thought of the shark-demon who had stolen his heart, "Kisame… won't let us down."<p>

"Hey, look up there!" Hidan announced as everyone looked up at the sky, "Kisame's running away! He's letting us down!" Immediately, Itachi walked over, frowning,

"Hidan, don't even BS me like that." But when he did look up, his heart sank as he saw the shark-demon riding off on one of the pegasi who had brought them to Konoha. "Kisame…" He shook his head, not believing what he was seeing, "But _why_? This… this can't be…"

All of a sudden, the walls of the maze all sunk into the ground: leaving a cold, desolate field. Everyone looked around themselves, weary at the new development. "Well look at that…" Eris smiled as she appeared through the commotion, "Someone broke my 'everyone has to play rule'…" The 'goddess' snapped her fingers, everyone's chakra-marks returning to their hands. "Games over fellas," Eris grinned, "You didn't find your _precious _instruments!"

"Wait…" Itachi shook his head, "This can't be happening!"

"Oh, but it is!" Eris chuckled, snapping her fingers again to make an umbrella appear. She quickly opened it upside down and stated, "Looks like there's a storm heading this way… Anarchy rules, bitches! Ha ha ha!" She cackled, another storm of chocolate milk coming in: Itachi still trying to comprehend what was happening.

His whole world had been turned upside-down in a matter of an hour!

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Wow, that was a work-out * finished typing at 10:34 *. I hope that people enjoyed it. Once again, I am **_**so **_**sorry for being gone for so long **_**and**_** cutting out the War arc. I hope that people can still find it in their hearts to follow this story and keep supporting it. **

**Please review. Thanks for reading! **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	10. Anarchy Slain Part 1

**A/N: Mucho thanks to , KanameAngel, Waterbomb22, elric0sis, YaoiPhox, FMJ26, Alexa Hiwatari, and that one anonymous reviewer who didn't leave a name! Thanks for reviewing and reading! Let's finish this saga up, shall we?**

**Playlist: **

**'The Song of Truth' - Do As Infinity **

**'Viva La Vida' - Coldplay**

* * *

><p>In one of the classrooms inside Adamant Falls Primary Academy, Iruka's voice calmly sang, accompanied by an acoustic guitar,<p>

"_If eternity knows what manner of darkness  
>And when pain will vanish,<br>This song of truth will flow through my heart…"_

All of his students sat on the floor around him, attentive as they listened to the dolphin-demon. When he was done, Iruka sat the guitar on the floor and explained, "That song is called 'The Song of Truth' and it's one of the main anthems of Terram. It represents Amaterasu's promise to the world and all of her children that she will always help the truth to shine forth."

"It's really pretty." Ongakuhana smiled, playing with Kira's ears. Iruka nodded, about to say something else when he was distracted by a loud crack of thunder.

"Oh, this is getting ridiculous!" The brunette huffed before walking outside. "The weather-watch is just letting everything go straight to hell!" A few of the other teachers had walked out to see the wild weather, sharing the dolphin's sentiments.

Suddenly, like a tidal wave, a large mass of chakra swept through the land. Before anyone could get back inside, it had already over-taken all of them: their frames losing all color as where they stood…

* * *

><p>Eris's cackles and laughs echoed all throughout Konoha, mixing in with the screams of civilians as the 'goddess's' powers began to take influence over the land. Itachi was still shocked at the new development: falling to his knees as he tried to wrap his mind around what was happening. However, Eris's laughter was interrupted when Madara snapped,<p>

"And what the fuck are _you_ laughing at, piss-for-hair?" Ignoring the insult, Eris could only smile,

"You guys are the most fun I've had in _eons~!_ More so than when I sank Atlantis for the third time 250 years ago!"

"Well cut it out!" Madara ground his teeth, trying to stare the blonde down, "If I hear so much as a giggle out of you, you'll regret it!" Before Eris could even _think _of making a joke, Zetsu huffed,

"Oh really? Ha ha."

"Shut up!" Madara demanded, stomping over to the plant-demon who only rolled his eyes,

"No. Ha ha!"

"Cut it out!" The former joy-demon shouted, clamping his hands over his ears. But Zetsu only kept up his teasing: laughing at the other's discomfort. While Itachi tried to calm those two down, Hidan walked over to Sasori and spoke,

"Ne, Sasori. Itachi thinks we should split this _ruby_," He scratched at the boulder, "10 different ways, you know, since we found it together and –" The albino was cut off by Sasori's tail grabbing him and throwing him across the way, hissing,

"Try it you miserable cur! She's mine, back the fuck off!" Sasori then shifted in scorpion-form, chasing the albino down. When Hidan passed by Kakuzu his wallet dropped out of his pocket. The stitch-demon nonchalantly whistled, walking over and quickly picking up the new source of money.

But while he did, Ivan had opened up the brunette's 'money'-bag and tried eating one of the oyster shells, immediately wincing,

"Tastes like pain…"

"Stop touching my money!" Kakuzu shoved Ivan away from his stash before bringing out a rope and trying to strangle the Baba Yaga.

"Hurts…" Ivan choked out, "Stop…"

Upon watching the two for a while, Deidara gently tapped Alfred's shoulder and asked, "Shouldn't you help him, un?"

"What did I say about touching me?" The Trickster Spirit snapped, tackling the bird-demon to the ground and trying to claw out his eyes.

"Guys, cut it out!" Itachi shouted, trying to get his friends' attention, "We don't have _time_ for this! We need to work together!" Eris's voice distracted him as she giggled, chomping on a bucket of popcorn that had appeared in her hands,

"You guys make it _too_ easy!"

"Stop it Eris!" Itachi stomped over, "You're not being fair!" The 'goddess' nearly choked, eyes wide as she looked at Itachi, laughing,

"_Me?_ Not _fair_? Read up on your history, I'm Eris: goddess of chaos and mayhem? _Hello~"_ But Itachi wasn't listening, snapping,

"How the _hell_ are we supposed to find the Instruments of Unity when you took away the maze before we could _finish_?"

"Huh?" Eris blinked, smirking as wide as all outdoors, "Did you – Ha ha ha! – You thought that the Instruments were – Oh _my!_" She quickly floated over to Itachi before she added, "Too funny. I never said _anything_ like that!"

* * *

><p>Before Itachi knew it, there was a poof of smoke. When it cleared he and Eris were floating above the Hall of Graces: the scene from earlier playing before them.<p>

"_Twists and turns are my master plan,"_ The woman danced about the elegant fabric and dyes, humming to accompany her delicate movements,

"_Then find your precious instruments back where you began…"_

* * *

><p>Eris abruptly brought them back to the present time, huffing, "I never <em>said<em> that the Instruments were in the labyrinth," before holding her open palm in front of the weasel-demon's eyes and whooping, "FACE!"

"But…" Itachi shook his head, "You never said—"

"Keep trying Uchiha Itachi," Eris whistled, walking away in her shiny golden heels, "Maybe the _magic_ of your _Unity_ will help you! Ugh, that left a bad taste on my tongue. Hate to love you all and leave you, but I have some chaos to attend to. Ta-ta!" And with that, she vanished in another cloud of smoke.

At the same time, the clouds above let loose their load of chocolate syrup (stepping up the caliber from the chocolate milk). As Itachi felt his hair being matted by the sugary liquid, Madara looking up and hacking, "Ack! I fucking _hate_ chocolate!"

"Shit…" The weasel-demon groaned, "Think Itachi, think! Gods, this would be so much easier with Ivan's input." When he looked over to the Baba Yaga, he only saw him rolling about on the ground like a log since Kakuzu had tied him up. And on the other side, Sasori was trying to carry his 'ruby' out of the area, just for Hidan to jump up onto it.

"Get your filthy hands off!" The red-head hissed, Zetsu walking over and smirking,

"_I'm_ touching your gem~! You can't do _shit~!_"

"Speaking of shit," Madara frowned, "Where's Deidara?" As if on cue, Alfred decided to leave the bird-demon alone: deciding that he had done enough damage to prove his point.

"For goodness sake, I just want to go home and forget about this!" But that word clicked something in his mind, "Home… Back where we began!" The first smile of the day grew on his face as he realized, "The key to the Instruments must be in Adamant Falls!"

* * *

><p>"Oh dear gods…" Itachi whispered as he saw Adamant Falls in the distance. The group had made it to the outskirts of the small village, just close enough to see the pillars of smoke and flames rising from the area. Parts of the earth were missing, floating up in the air, the waterfall was flowing every which way but down, and the grass was now colored in purple and blue polka-dots. "Quick, we have to get back and see if the kids are alright."<p>

"Meh." The others huffed, Hidan rolling his eyes,

"They can take care of themselves!"

Itachi only shook his head, walking ahead of the others, "Come on you guys, I'm positive that _this_ is what Eris's riddle meant! Back in the library, I'm _sure_ that there's a book I have on the Unity of Terram that will help us – SHIT!" The weasel-demon yelped as he was trampled by a herd of slenderbunnies.

"Good girl Himawari!" Zetsu sneered at the sight, leaning on Madara with an elbow in his hair, "Keep making Daddy _proud_!" Out of nowhere, the sun quickly hid behind the mountains: the moon whipping into place to create a dark, starry night.

The demons were all a bit disoriented at the sudden change of light. And it was made even worse when the road they were walking on grew slick and slippery… "Wow…" Hidan hissed, trying to stand, "I can see _so_ much better now!" He quickly lost his footing and slid into the others, knocking them to the ground. The albino slid to a halt by Itachi, frowning, "I meant to do that."

The sun quickly rose up again, Itachi gasping as he tried to stand up, "Eris turned our dirt-roads into soap?" Said 'goddess' slid by on the soap, much like a figure-skater, and hummed,

"Beautiful, isn't it?" She spun into a stop, adding, "Welcome to the new and _improved_ Adamant Falls! Oh, and these are just a _few_ of my changes!" Itachi had finally managed to stand when he saw Madara skating on the road.

"Having fun?" Itachi sighed, Madara snapping back,

"That's what your mom said last night!", before he slid off. Itachi could only shake his head. But he was taken by surprise when Eris popped out from his shadow and tugged him along, excitedly stating,

"Picture it, weasel-boy: the chaos capital of the _world_!" The moon suddenly brought night into view, Itachi frowning,

"I can't; it's too dark."

"Well, wait fifteen seconds and you'll see it in the glorious light of day," Eris shrugged her shoulders, letting the brunette fall into the soapy mess, "Or not.", before she vanished into a poof of smoke. When she was gone, Itachi looked towards the dark town in the distance, whispering,

"Adamant Falls… The chaos capital of the world?" He then shook his head, standing to his feet, "Not if _I_ have anything to say about it!"

"Don't worry…" That was Zetsu, the plant-demon sneered as he skated by, "You won't." Itachi only sighed, rubbing his temples as they walked on.

The group made it into town, just to be welcomed by the sight of a familiar Kitsune and dragon… fighting each other tooth and nail? "Sasuke! Naruto!" Itachi called out, noticing that the two had taken on a completely grayscale tone.

"I HATE YOU!" They both shouted to each other: Sasuke exhaling a plume of fire towards the fox, Naruto jumping over and landing on Sasuke's back before he tried to claw the Uchiha's eyes out.

What followed next was a mad dash to the library, trying to not get hit by any explosions or flying debris from the feuding duo or the disaster-zone the town was. And occasionally stopping Ivan from putting things into his mouth ('Damn it Ivan, that's not food!').

* * *

><p>Finally, thirty shifts of the moon and sun later, they arrived, tired and filthy, at the library. Itachi quickly opened the door, growling, "Okay, we're here, can we all just go inside already?" Kakuzu walked up, his body shifting into greyscale as he held out his hand,<p>

"Pay me and I'll consider."

"For walking through a-?" Itachi was about to ask, but he only shook his head and gave the stitch-demon what little he had in his pockets. After that, Hidan walked in, turning grey and hissing,

"I absolutely refuse!"

Zetsu strolled over, his now-grey eyes narrowing as he smirked, "With _pleasure_.", before ripping up all the flower bushes in front of the library.

"MOVE!" Alfred shouted, turning grey as he kicked Zetsu inside so he could go. Itachi turned just to see Ivan crash into the wall to the left of the door, his body shifting into grey as he held his dizzy head.

"Come on Ivan…" Itachi groaned, "You can at least use a door, right?" He was answered when Ivan smacked into the wall on the right side of the door. Finally, Itachi gently tugged the Baba Yaga in the right direction… Just to have him trip over the threshold.

"Fucking libraries…" Madara rolled his eyes, his body dimming further as he walked inside. Itachi looked and saw that his brother and Naruto were still fighting; bringing them into this _might_ not have been wise. But then,

"Oh for god's sake, move!" That was Sasori shoving Deidara, the bruised and battered bird-demon having tried to move the boulder into the library and failing, aside and trying to push himself, "You're a worthless waste of space Deidara!"

"You're right un…" The blonde sighed, his frame shifting to grey as he slowly entered the library.

"Come _on_ Sasori!" Itachi pleaded, "We have to go!"

"Forget it, you over-bloated whale!" The scorpion-demon snapped, "I shan't be doing _any_ such thing! The moment I leave, you'll have your little minion Blink come and hide Tania!"

"How is an owl supposed to…" Itachi began, but was thrown off when he thought, "'Tania'?"

"Well it won't work!" Sasori began again, his body turning grey as he kissed the stone. Itachi was quiet for all of two seconds before he asked,

"You won't go in without it, will you?"

"Nope." Sasori replied before Itachi used his magic to push the wheelbarrow into the building.

* * *

><p>Inside, Blink was resting on her cozy roost: unaware of the chaos going on outside.<p>

Dark hands quickly seized a bucket of cleaning water from the side and held it over the bird before dousing her to the bone.

"Who-who~!" She hooted in a panic, frantically wiping her wings to disperse to water. When she was calm, she looked to see Zetsu who smirked,

"You just looked _so_ peaceful…"

There was a clatter as Sasori's boulder made contact with the floor, Sasori gasping, "Careful Itachi! This isn't Deidara we're talking about, Tania is a delicate beauty!"

"BLINK!" Itachi shouted, the owl landing on his shoulder, "I know everyone is looking different than usual, but I need you to ignore _them_ and help _me_ find the Tome of Terram's Unity Treaty."

"Who-who!" The snowy owl nodded before she was off.

"Hey Itachi…" Zetsu smiled as he filled up the bucket again, "What's soaking wet, clueless, and in intense pain?"

"Zetsu!" Itachi snapped, "I don't have the time to humor you right – FUCK!" Itachi's sentence was cut off when Zetsu tossed the freezing water and flung the bucket into between his eyes, "Your FACE!"

"Damn you…" Itachi seethed, searching for a napkin to stop his new bloody nose. Meanwhile, Blink flew up and through the shelves until she pulled out a large red and blue book. "Who! Who!" She screeched as Alfred knocked her away, snapping,

"Can't you say anything but 'who'?", and Zetsu seized the book.

Itachi slowly walked up to the green-haired demon, calmly asking, "Zetsu… give me the book…."

"Keep-away!" The plant-demon announced, tossing the book to Kakuzu.

"Kakuzu, give me the book." Itachi ordered as the stitch-demon asked,

"How much will you pay me for it?"

"Nothing! Now—" The book was tossed to Hidan. "Hidan, please! The book!"

"I don't have any Jashin-damned book!" The cat-demon then tossed the book to Tobi who tossed it up just as the weasel-demon walked over. Zetsu took it, about to toss it to Alfred when Blink clawed it out of his hands.

The heavy tome fell to the floor, Itachi reaching for it just for Sasori to rush over and snatch it up, chiming, "Mine!"

"What the hell?" Itachi struggled to give chase, "Do you even _know_ what you just stole?"

"Not in the slightest!" The scorpion-demon laughed, "But if _you_ want it, then _I_ have to have it!" The weasel and the scorpion rushed around the room, Itachi desperate to retrieve the book until a sharp pain in his stomach stopped him in his tracks.

"Damn it…" He shook his head, "Damn it, not now… Please…" The brunette's breath was shallow and ragged as he rubbed his stomach, "I know you've waited long enough, but please… Give me some more time…"

Slowly but surely, the pain abated to a manageable state, allowing Itachi to stand to his feet and ask, "Where is Sasori?" Hidan scoffed,

"Beats me."

That tore it. Itachi had been more than calm this whole ordeal through but _that_ was the final straw. A sudden surge of red and blue chakra surrounded him as he shouted, **"A FINE CHOICE!"** The chakra shot forth, pinning every creature in the room against a bookshelf: the book falling to the floor.

"Miserable fucker!" Madara shouted, Blink pecking him as Itachi went to get the book. Itachi snatched up the tome, gritting,

"You're all staying right where I can see you. This is _my_ book, damn it! And I'm going to read it!" He took a moment to catch his breath before he opened the tome, immediately gasping with wide eyes, "The Instruments…"

The Instruments were indeed there, inside a hollowed out section of the book. But they took the form of small, golden charms, each having a kanji for what Instrument they represented. "They were here all along. Guys!" He turned to his friends, allowing the spell to wear off, "Do you know what this means? We can defeat Eris and turn things back to normal! It's just like Kisame said, United we stand divided – You all could care less about what I'm saying, huh?" The brunette sighed, looking at the group who were focusing on their own whims. They all quickly replied,

"Nope." Itachi shook his head, sighing in sheer distress,

"I can't believe this… That a day would come when I could think this, but…" The next few words were screamed out, his red eyes blazing, "I HATE MY FRIENDS!" He used his magic to give each person a charm, snapping,

"Charm. Charm. Charm. Charm. Charm! _Charm!_ _Charm!_ Charm! _Charm..!_ And…" He looked into the book, finding an ivory baton, "Stupid stick-thingy! Come on you stupid bastards, let's go!"

"Who-who!"

"What is it?" Itachi asked. Blink flapped her wings for a moment before he guessed, "You think I'm missing someone?" The owl nodded. "No, I don't think so." Itachi huffed, looking to everyone, "We've got the miser, the lying bastard, the brute, the killjoy, the hoarder, the wretch, the war-monger, and the _idiot_!" **(A/N: Again, that order was – Kakuzu, Hidan, Zetsu, Madara, Sasori, Deidara, Alfred, and Ivan.)**

Blink hooted in distress, picking up a frame from a nearby desk and bringing it to her master. Itachi frowned, his heart hurting at the sight of Kisame… How could he abandon him like this?

"You're saying that we need a shark-demon to use the Instruments?" He asked, Blink nodding. But Itachi only tossed a charm around the owl's neck and stated, "Congratulations Blink. You're more loyal than the father of my child so you get to take the role of Kisame."

"WHO!" Blink insisted, flapping to the door where a plume of blue fire just rushed past.

"Oh, the last two charms for Sasuke and Naruto?" Itachi asked before deciding, "They'll be close enough! Now let's go defeat Eris so I can get all of these spazzes out of my life for good!"

The group whooped and hollered as they rushed out of the door, Blink sadly following them. Only Sasori was still trying to move his 'gem'. "MOVE DAMN IT!" Itachi shouted, using his magic to toss the stone out of the window: the others narrowly dodging the onslaught.

* * *

><p>No sooner had Itachi made it outside, Itachi saw Eris appear in a poof of smoke: beret on her head and a baguette in her hand. "Sacré bleu!" The 'goddess' smirked, taking a bite before she added: crumbs flying as she talked, "You found the Instruments. Yay…"<p>

"Eris…" Itachi seethed, "I figured out your stupid riddle. Now, prepare to be turned back into stone!"

"Oh, but can't I have five more minutes oh _mighty_ and _powerful_ overlords?" Eris 'pleaded' before she tossed her snack and hat away, "I guessed not. Well, go on ahead!" She snapped her fingers: her clothes shifting from her revealing white to a skimpy bikini made of target symbols. "Hit me with your best shot guys!"

"Get into formation!" Itachi commanded, the others slowly walking over. "Sasuke! Naruto!" The dragon and the fox rushed by, still fighting. "Kisame – I mean – Blink! Come on!" The owl gave a sad who, flapping over to land on Itachi's head. "Now, let's go!"

The area was silent except for the sound of burning buildings and the on-going clash. Itachi cinched his teeth, gritting out, "Come _on!_ Don't do this to me!"

"Mine's working…" Hidan lied, spinning his charm around his finger, "Must be something wrong with yours."

"The Instruments of Unity…" Madara sneered, "What a fucking joke!" Zetsu agreed, tossing his charm away,

"Worthless garbage!" Unfortunately, the charm ended up hitting Alfred: the Trickster Spirit growling before he shifted into the form of a buffalo and charged at the plant-demon: bellowing out,

"STOP FUCKING AROUND WITH ME!" While they were all fighting, Kakuzu decided to count his 'money' again and Ivan picked up the discarded charm: nibbling at it before Sasori snatched it up with a,

"Mine!"

Eris desperately tried to hold back her laughs as she strolled over, her clothes going back to normal, "Bravo! _Bravissima_! Thanks to you, Unity is officially _dead_! Eris rules, demons drool."

She quickly made herself vanish before Itachi could say anything, and when she was gone, Madara shoved Deidara into the soapy road, shouting, "It's _your_ fault that didn't work!"

"What are you yelling at now?" Itachi snapped, the joy-kill frowning,

"Any of you! _All_ of you! Grr… I am _out of here!_", as he stormed off.

"Same here…" Zetsu huffed, smirking as Alfred ran into a ditch, "I'm done with hanging out with losers."

"I need to find a place for my new savings." Kakuzu stated, Hidan hissing,

"You can't go to the farm! That's _my_ farm!" Soon enough, it seemed like everyone was walking off in their own distinct directions. Finally, Itachi shouted at all of them,

"FINE! Who needs you? I can handle this by myself!" Kisame's face flashed in his mind, "I don't need you, Kisame, or _anybody_! With friends like you, who needs…" He sighed, "Enemies…"

If the weasel-demon's current depressed state wasn't enough, a taunting call of, "Weasel-boy~!" Caught his attention. He turned and saw Eris in the center of town: standing next to what looked like an ancient, silver cannon engraved with strange symbols. "Look what _I_ managed to pick up!"

"What are you doing now?" Itachi narrowed his eyes, Eris smirking,

"Just making sure that no one will be ruining my fun anytime soon." She then adjusted the cannon's barrel so that it faced the sun that had just risen in the sky. "Help turn _me_ into stone, bitch?" She muttered before slamming her fist into the button on the cannon's side, shouting, "APPLE-PICKING BEAM!" Suddenly, an excessive ray of pure, chaotic energy shot forth into the sky.

"NO!" Itachi shouted, but it was too late as the sun was hit… And shattered: Amaterasu's screams blanketing the entire world below as the golden shards of the former gracious globe fell to the earth. "Why..?" Itachi collapsed to his knees, the sight almost making him pass out. But Eris wasn't done yet.

"Where are you, you frigid bastard?" She muttered, waiting for the skies to darken.

"_AMATERASU!"_ Tsukuyomi's voice sobbed as the moon came into view. Eris smirked, hitting the button again. The moon was hit, Tsukuyomi howling as the silver pieces of the body fell below.

"No…" Itachi shook his head, "It can't be…"

"See that weasel-boy?" The 'goddess' smirked, kicking the cannon aside, "Your precious gods and deities are worthless now. The only thing that shall run this world now is chaos." She strolled past the brunette, happily watching his color drain away, "Get used to it."

* * *

><p>Itachi slowly walked through Adamant Falls, carefully ignoring the constant stages of destruction that were caused by either Eris's influence or Sasuke and Naruto's fighting. He knew he couldn't help stop any of this, the cotton-candy clouds raining down chocolate sludge, the oceans turning to tar, the animals acting crazy, but he at least wanted to see if the kids were all right.<p>

And then… Well, he didn't know what he would do after that.

A herd of cattle plied past, another demon spinning around in circles as pies and cakes floated into the sky.

"Ah ha ha!" Eris cackled as she appeared in a poof, "Itachi, you—you have to see what I did to that wine-o Kabuto!"

Said badger-demon was standing a few feet away, rubbing his nose as a giant pepper-shaker moved above him until he sneezed: the houses around him blowing away. "Funny, right?"

"Leave me alone…" Itachi whispered, walking into the remains of the Primary Academy. "Mizuki?" He called out, looking through the empty classrooms, "Hun? Ongakuhana?"

"Itachi?" Kire peeked out from behind a door that was nearly torn off of its hinges. The weasel-demon walked over and saw the group of children holed up in a closet.

"Are you all alright?" They all slowly climbed out, Mizuki walking over and clinging to Itachi's leg,

"I should ask that about you and my baby-sister." Itachi chuckled,

"Everyone keeps saying that… But in all seriousness," He looked around, "We need to start heading out. This town has gotten too dangerous."

"But…" Ongakuhana bit her lip, "Where are we going?"

"And where are our parents?"

"I don't know…" Itachi sighed, "And I _really_ don't know. Now let's go, there's nothing we can do about this…"

Abruptly, Itachi was tackled to the ground by a furious hell-dog.

"What the ever-burning hell is the matter with you?" Hun growled, pinning the weasel-demon to the floor (careful of his stomach), "Things have gotten a bit hard so you decide to roll over like a little bitch and take it? What kind of adult are you?"

"So you not see what is going on outside?" Itachi snapped back, "The world is messed up beyond comprehension! How am I supposed to believe that it can be put back to normal when Amaterasu and Tsukuyomi are dead?"

The air went still. Then, Kira's quiet voice asked,

"Do you have to only believe in something you can see?" Hun removed himself, allowing Itachi to sit up. When Itachi was looking at her, the small cat-demon continued, "We can't always see the sun… And we can't always see the moon. But we know that Amaterasu and Tsukuyomi are still watching over us."

"Believing in something," Kiro nodded, Alexandr adding,

"Even when you are not being able to see it."

"Isn't that the true definition of faith?"

As those words were spoken, Itachi could hardly believe what he was feeling. Eris had tried to shatter all faith and belief, but these children had clung on through all adversity. He stood on his own two feet, the color returning to his body as he nodded, "You're right. All of you. I'm so sorry, I can't believe I let Eris get the best of me and make me forget what's _really_ important." He tried his best to grab them all in a hug, whispering, "Thank you."

The sound of wind-chimes echoed from outside.

With Kira and Ongakuhana helping him, they all made it outside and saw an eerie sight. It was Lord Sanbi… Only it _wasn't_.

"Lord Sanbi?" Itachi wiped at his eyes, not believing the apparition in front of him. The transparent figure of the shark-deity was quiet before he jumped a few feet away: upon landing, he made a gesture for Itachi to follow.

"He wants us to follow him." Mizuki stated, Itachi shaking his head,

"Oh no, you kids are staying here in town while I take care of this." Just then, the school building collapsed. "On second thought…"


	11. Anarchy Slain Part 2

**A/N: ... **

**I got nothing. Playlist is the same.**

* * *

><p>Sanbi's spirit led Itachi and the kids through the Yonko Forests, the area seeming scarier than usual if that was possible.<p>

"This place is _way_ creepy!" Kire groaned, keeping a wary eye out. But no one else said anything, too busy trying not to lose track of Sanbi's spirit. Though he was busy trying to make sure that they didn't get lost, Itachi couldn't help but wonder how his friends were doing…

* * *

><p>"Money-guzzling…" Kakuzu grumbled as he carried his 'money'-satchel away from the ruined town of Adamant Falls. After a heated argument with Hidan which resulted in the cat-demon ending up with a busted lip as the stitch-demon stormed out of the door.<p>

He was about to leave the town limits when he saw something shimmering on the ground. "Money?" He asked, dropping down to pick it up. It was a strange coin that seemed like it was made out of the same material as the moon. But it was a coin and that was all Kakuzu cared about! "Mine!" He tossed the coin into his satchel, blinking as he noticed that there were more of them creating a trail into the Yonko Forests. "Oh, never was there a more beautiful sight…" He licked his lips as he walked forward collecting the coins.

When he picked up the last one, he looked up to see if there were anymore… But instead, he found himself in a strange sort of cavern. He took a few steps forward, trying to figure out where he was… until he saw the mountain of coins and money in the area. "Jack-pot!" He whistled, you could practically see the cash-signs in his eyes. Just as he went to charge forward, an eerie voice began,

"_Visitor… Beware…"_

"Who's there?" He growled out, "This money is mine! I found it fair and square!" The strange voice began, a sliver of light shining through a crack in the roof: revealing the faces of hundreds of statues who seemed like they were all trying to get to the money.

"_The cry of the entitled… Look around you visitor…"_ As the brunette followed the direction, the voice went on, _"Many have come to this place seeking an easy way to wealth… Just to fall victim to its power… You cannot simply fall into money… You must work for it…"_

"That takes too long!" Kakuzu snapped, trying to reach for the money. He didn't even notice how his body was slowly turning to stone… "I need… to be rich… Now!"

"_Tell me visitor…"_ The voice asked, _"What is that you need this money for?"_ That caused Kakuzu to stop. That was a good question… What did he need money for again?

"Well…" He began, "The farm needs renovations… And I have to send my kids to school…" The stone coating began cracking away, Kakuzu's color returning as he stood to his feet, "And my grandmother needs that surgery… And to help my friends!" His color completely returned: the stitch-demon tossing the 'money'-satchel into the pile before leaving the area: desperately trying to find the others.

* * *

><p>Hidan, meanwhile, was at Goldleaf Farms: eating a bushel of grapes as he told himself, completely ignoring his kids trying to save the falling-apart farm, "<em>I<em> was trying to defeat Eris! But did any of my _friends_ help me out? Hell no! They all sat on their hands while I did all the fucking work!"

Something shined in the sky above.

"I've done all I can do!" He huffed, "It's not like being ruled by Eris will be so bad – SHIT!" He shouted as a piece of stray moon-rock fell from the heavens. The impact sent him into a wall, the albino holding his head as he tried to get his bearings straight. "Shit… What the hell?" Hidan shook his head, trying to stop the pounding feeling inside… But as he did, flashes of memories filled his mind:

* * *

><p>"<em>Listen to me," Hidan spoke in as calm a voice as he could muster, "What I say here is the honest to gods' truth: you will be completely fine if you let go of my hand. I promise." <em>

_Itachi didn't know what else to do, his heart was pounding and he was so afraid. But Hidan's voice and manner were reassuring him, so he had to at least try right? What did he have to lose? _

_Oh right, his life. _

_Itachi took a deep breath and, after looking at Hidan once more before letting go and screaming as he fell down, down, down… _

_Into a pile of leaves._

* * *

><p>"<em>I never really liked baking…" Itachi sighed as his hands were now caked in cookie dough. Deidara placed the last of the cookie sheets into the oven before agreeing, <em>

"_It does make a bit of a mess, un… But luckily we can easily clean it up—" _

"_Why bother?" Hidan interjected before he began lapping the dough off of his hands. "You can just eat it off! Mm, this is actually pretty good…" _

* * *

><p>"<em>A gift?" Itachi asked as he felt Kisame move away. Sasori snapped his fingers ad, in a flash, Itachi was dressed in a velvet sweat-suit of indigos, viridians, and tans. Tsunade then announced, <em>

"_We deem you All-Team Organizer! And I officially declare that Spring is here on time!" The area erupted in cheers, Kisame and Ivan hefting Itachi up onto their shoulders, _

"_Hey!" The embarrassed weasel-demon shouted, "Put me down!" _

* * *

><p><em>Kakuzu smiled as he sat on the couch and watched his kids open their presents. It was times like this that made him feel as though all was right in his life and – <em>

"_Here bastard." He blinked as Hidan shoved a box into his hands. Kakuzu smiled, opening the box and pulling out a glass bottle of a red and white chemical, the colors not mixing for whatever reason. "That's a special type of birth-control for cat-demons," Hidan explained. Kakuzu blinked at the bottle for a moment before it finally clicked in his head. _

_"So I can..." _

_"Mm-hm." Hidan frowned. _

_"Inside..?" _

_"Yep." _

_"As much as I want as long as you take this stuff?" Hidan rolled his eyes at his husband's behavior. But he had a soft smile on his face as he punched the brunette in the shoulder._

* * *

><p>"Oh dear Jashin…" He whispered, tears falling from his eyes as his color returned. Immediately, he fell into a heavy coughing fit: as if trying to get all of the lies he had spoken out of his system. "The truth hurts sometimes… But that's no reason to fucking <em>lie<em> about it! Guys!" He called over to his kids, "Keep trying to fix the farm. I have something I need to do…"

* * *

><p>Zetsu smirked as he lit a match and tossed it onto a field of grass: laughing as the flames immediately licked up. He had been playing the role of natural disaster for the past few hours but, finally, someone had to intervene.<p>

"**Hey…"** A familiar voice spoke up, **"Hey!"** Zetsu looked over into a puddle and saw his darker half glaring up at him.

"Oh," He huffed, "What do _you_ want?"

"**I want you to stop acting like such a little bitch and go back to your normal self!"** Zetsu could barely believe his ears. Black wanted him to _stop_ being mean? How was that even possible?

"I would have thought that a douchebag like you would _love_ the new me." Zetsu smirked, Black gritting out,

"**Being mean and truthful is one thing, **_**my**_** thing, but being cruel is another. So, stop with all this bullshit or so help me gods, I'll **_**make**_** you stop!"**

"Huh…" Zetsu rolled his formerly golden eyes, "I'd like to see you try." Well, he _did_ say it. In an instant, Zetsu was pushed into the back of his mind as Black took over: struggling to bring their body over to a tree where a beehive hung. "NO! Don't!"

"**Shut up!"** Black barked back. He soon made it to where the tree stood and kicked the trunk, the beehive falling before Zetsu could say anything. When the honey was swallowed into their system, yes it hurt Black but he could deal as long as it got Eris's influence out.

And, as Zetsu's color slowly returned, he sighed in relief. Finally, back to his peaceful self, Zetsu looked around with panicked yellow eyes and shouted, "What have I done? Oh no, I have to find the others!"

* * *

><p>In the attic of GlazeFeather Boutique, Deidara had tied together a couple of lengths of lace into a makeshift noose that he was about to make use of. He tied it to a support-beam, jumping down to get a chair when he passed by a mirror. A sliver of moonlight shined in through the window, getting the bird-demon's attention.<p>

"Look at you, un." He sighed, looking at his reflection, "Such a pathetic visage and…" He blinked, _really_ looking at himself, "Wait a minute… I don't look half-bad! In fact," He smiled, actually_ smiled_, "I look downright _gorgeous_, un!" For a moment, it seemed like the memories of the past would come through in full force, but he shook his head, "It _did_ happen, I can't deny that… But I can't let it control who I become in the future, un!"

In an instant, his beautiful golden color returned: his blue eyes shimmering as he rushed downstairs. "Danna! Danna, come here a minute un!"

The scorpion-demon rolled his eyes, waxing his 'gem', "What is it you miserable waste of space?"

"Oh danna…" Deidara chuckled, shaking his head, "I know you don't mean that, un…"

"Of course I mean it!" The redhead fumed as Deidara got close, "Wait, what are you doing? Get away from me I – Mm?" Deidara had decided to occupy his fiancé's mouth with something much more pleasant: kissing the scorpion-demon until his color returned.

When they broke apart, Sasori only had one request, "Help me get this stupid hunk of rock out of _our _house, beloved."

* * *

><p>Ivan wandered around his mansion, trying to see if he could remember the concept of a door. The poor Baba Yaga was so miserable: his IQ seeming to drop with every hour. He was even more distressed when he just then realized that he was alone.<p>

"Sad…" He whimpered. Suddenly, there was a cry a few feet away: a call for help. Not thinking twice, the Baba Yaga quickly made his way

"Oh, thank goodness…" The strange gnome whooped before he explained his turmoil, "I have a bit of a quandary: you see this river?"

It took Ivan a few tries before his eyes landed on the rushing river in front of them.

"Well, I have to get this swan, this bag of grain, and this snowy fox across." The swan and the fox both crooned towards Ivan, both of them shining as if made of moonlight. "But I only have this boat and it will only carry me and one other thing."

Ivan blinked before he tried to pile everything onto the boat, the gnome shaking his head, "A bit touched in the head, are ye? No, look, the boat will only carry two things and since one of us needs to steer the boat…"

At first glance, Ivan was _so_ bored. Honestly, how hard could it be to get a swan, fox, and some grain across a river.

"Please to be giving me that." He took the oars away from the gnome and walked over to look at the animals and grain. As a quick test, he took away the grain. Immediately, the fox gave a hungry glare in the swan's direction. "Okay…" Ivan sighed, putting the grain back. He didn't notice his color coming back as he slowly thought, "And if the swan is left with the grain… That won't end well. Huh…"

Looking at the three things, Ivan analyzed the situation once more before he smiled: his color completely returned as he took the swan to the boat, explaining, "One must take the swan first, then come back for the grain, leave the grain, take the fox, leave the fox, take the swan, leave the swan and take the grain, leave the grain and then go back for the swan! It is such a simple riddle! Sir, I—" He had been talking the whole while he was taking the swan across the river, he hadn't even noticed the gnome and his belongings vanishing away.

* * *

><p>Charging here and there like a train with no course, Alfred stormed through the Yonko Forests in buffalo-form: knocking down trees and anything else in his path. He just wanted to destroy <em>everything<em>, he didn't know why: it was like an all-consuming blaze.

Turning around after tearing through three trees in a row, he snorted as a bushel of simple, moonlight-pale flowers stood in the middle of the clearing.

"STOP TAUNTING ME!" He bellowed, charging forward and crushing the flowers into the ground. "There!" He panted as he shifted back to normal, eyes fiery in his small sense of victory.

…Until he actually _saw_ the damage that he had done.

The small, defenseless flowers that were doing nothing except their birthright… Now lay trampled on the ground; broken.

"Oh gods…" He whispered, sinking to his knees and taking the crumpled flowers into his hands, "What did I do..?"

His color slowly returned to him as he choked back, "What the hell is wrong with me? Tricksters play tricks, but we aren't violent! What the hell is the matter with me?"

* * *

><p>Adamant Falls quaked again as Sasuke and Naruto continued to clash: hatred making them see red, claws itching to rip each other to shreds.<p>

They jumped away from each other, Sasuke more than ready to jump back into the fray. But as Naruto moved to attack, he slipped in an off-placed puddle and fell in front of the dragon in his normal form.

"…" Sasuke blinked, shifting back to his own normal form. Had he honestly forgotten how beautiful the Kitsune in front of him was? How could he feel even the slightest inkling of hate for him.

"What are you waiting for?" Naruto growled, eyes still angry. "Too much of a pussy to make a move!" Sasuke chose not to respond to that. Instead, as his color returned, he looked behind the blonde: at his swishing tails.

"You're beautiful."

"Huh?" Naruto gasped, his color returning and then some if the blush across his cheeks were any indication. "Ow, my head…"

* * *

><p>And Tobi?<p>

Come now, can Tobi stay grumpy for long? He just needed a… push in the right direction…

"Fuck!" Madara seethed as the light of the moon abruptly shined through one of _Swirl's _many broken windows and caused him to bump into a shelf: a bag of flour falling on him. "What the hell?" He snapped as he tried to get his head straight.

He slowly made his way over to the sink and filled a bowl of water to clean himself. However, when he looked down into it…

He couldn't help but smile a bright, colorful smile as laughter bubbled up from his chest.

* * *

><p>But still… That left one demon who had abandoned his friends, his lover, his children, just because his visions of loyalty had been shattered.<p>

Thus, in the center of an icy cavern of the coast of Glaciu (yes, all the way there), Kisame sat with ice blocking him in from all directions.

"I'm not leaving this place," The grey shark-demon huffed, folding his arms, "Go out _there_ in _that_ disaster? Hell no!"

So, there he sat, steaming in his disloyalty. The remnants of the moon shined overhead, Tsukuyomi using the last of his power to make one final moonbeam to dance over the ice imprisoning Kisame.

"Hm?" He blinked as he noticed something happening to his shelter. The walls of ice slowly began to play visions of his life at home. There were scenes of him leading the weather-watch, times with his parents, his friends…

But the ones that tugged at his heart were the ones of his family. There was Mizuki being his stoic self, Hun being the perfect family pet…

And then…

"_Hello in there…" The shark-demon smiled, listening for a response, "Dad has to go on a little trip. But try not to make your big debut while I'm gone, okay?" Itachi could only shake his head before he huffed, _

"_Okay, get off; you're heavy." _

"_Aw…" Kisame pretended to pout as he stood to his feet, "But I wanted to talk to my son/daughter some more…"_

* * *

><p>"<em>Then, the princess let her long, golden hair flow from the window," Itachi's voice read out as he was laying in Kisame's bed one evening, "The prince caught it and began to climb up, up, and up the tall tower, trying to reach the beautiful maiden above." <em>

"_Not that I don't love your voice 'Tachi," Kisame grumbled as he rolled over towards the weasel-demon, "But how much longer are you going to read? I have work tomorrow…" The brunette rolled his eyes, picking up the Maternity Studies of The Great Kanga-Mage and waving it in front of Kisame's face, _

"_According to this, reading to a baby while it's still in the womb is crucial to development. So you're just going to have to deal with a bed-time story then." _

"_Why couldn't it have been something other than fairy tales?" Kisame gave an exasperated sigh, though he was still smiling. The shark-demon leaned over, laying his head against Itachi's stomach and gently speaking, "Hello in there..! I'm more than sure that you're going to grow up a strong and smart baby. With Itachi being your mommy, I wouldn't expect anything less." _

"_But what about the big, strong comedian," Itachi huffed, "Who's interrupting story-time?" He was about to say something more when he blinked, stayed quiet for a second, then stated, "I'm really hungry." Kisame rolled his eyes before getting out of bed and asking, _

"_What do you want?" _

"_Chocolate pudding…" If Itachi had stopped there, things would have been slightly normal, but the brunette kept on, "With ketchup… Oh, and pickles if we have them."_

* * *

><p><em>Things were quiet and calm, save for breathing and Itachi occasionally purring from feeling Kisame's fingers stroking his hair. But then, <em>

"_Kisame, do you love me?" Said shark nearly sputtered at the ridiculous question before he stated, _

"_What kind of question is that? Of course I do! Don't you love me?" Itachi's response was a quiet smile before he snuggled close to Kisame's chest. _

"_Hold me," He requested. And when he felt the secure embrace of his love, he began, "I never thought… That moving to a town filled with insane demons would change my life so much for the better. I've learned so much about Youkai, life, and other things that I could write a whole library on the topics. But…" He turned and placed a chaste kiss on Kisame's cheek, "The most important thing I've learned has to be the love that I have for you Hoshigaki Kisame." _

"Itachi…" Kisame whispered, his blue hue returning to his body as he took in all the sights, all the memories… How could he have left the most important things in his life behind? Especially Itachi…

And when the baby was due any time now?

"Itachi!" Kisame shouted, the ice shattering as he jumped into the frigid waters: not caring how much energy he expended getting home, but only caring on getting there.

* * *

><p>"He's stopped."<p>

Itachi and the children slowly came to where Sanbi's spirit had indeed stopped. It was an almost exact replica of the Moonlit Summit. Only instead of a marble slab, there stood an intricate mural surrounded by twelve stepping stones.

Before anyone could guess what the mural depicted, Sanbi moved to stand on the second stone: waiting.

"What does he want?" Kiro asked. The deity's spirit then got into the starting position of a ballet.

"For someone to follow." Alexandr figured out correctly, jumping onto the first stone.

"Alexandr, get back here right now!" Itachi called out. But the small Baba Yaga ignored him in favor of watching Sanbi jump to another stone: landing on the toes of his right foot. Alexandr gracefully followed the action, Sanbi nodding before jumped to another: spinning as he landed.

Everyone watched as Alexandr skillfully copied every move the visage made until he landed, with a pirouette, on the same stone he had started on.

"Yay!" The kids all cheered as Alexandr and Sanbi shared a bow before it seemed that Sanbi were about to finally speak…

The air went still as a poof of smoke rolled on top of the mural. Soon, a familiar figure appeared.

"So…" Eris huffed as she laid herself out on top of the mural, "You managed to find the place where Sanbi beat me the first time." Her cold eyes suddenly whipped towards Sanbi's apparition: a bolt of lightning striking from above to shatter the spirit into pieces. "How dare you make me remember such a horrid moment."

"Eris!" Itachi shouted, Hun shifting into his larger form and standing guard in front of the weasel-demon. The 'goddess' rolled her eyes, jumping down and strolling over,

"Honestly? You are so desperate that you brought a bunch of children to stand against me? Pathetic…"

"Can it lady!" Kire huffed with a flip of his hair, "You're time is up and you know it!"

"Um…" Saso gulped, "Not that we want to be rude or anything… But maybe you could lay off on the chaos a bit, ano sa?"

"Hm…" Eris hummed before snapping back, in _Saso's_ voice, "No, I don't think so, _ano sa_."

The air above began crackling: rancid black clouds forming together overhead. "You all make me sick…" Eris stated, all mirth and taunting gone, "Here you live in a paradise that your prejudiced deities and _gods _made for you and none of you even appreciate it until something happens. Do you know where _I_ was born?"

"Beyond the GoldStar Barrier?" Kira asked, yelping as a bolt of lightning struck far too close for her liking.

"And bats go moo…" Eris sneered, rolling her eyes, "Humans have to live in the harshest environments on Terram: we have to pour our blood, sweat, and _tears_ into the earth before it gives us even an _inkling_ of what you all have! And even then, it's never enough!"

"My family couldn't take it… My mother and father had five other kids to take care of, I guess it was just my unfortunate lot to be the one they abandoned at the GoldStar Barrier all those eons ago…"

* * *

><p><em>It was colder than you could even fathom in that place… <em>Eris's voice rang out as she remembered how, as a small girl, she desperately tried to press the flimsy scrap of cloth that was her dress closer to her shivering body.

The icy gales whipped and sliced right through her, despite all of her attempts. She was so tired; she couldn't even feel her legs as they lay in the snow.

"Slee…py…" She whimpered, eyes drifting shut: her body about to give up the ghost to the cruel tundra.

That was, until, there was a crackling noise from the Barrier. She managed to open her eyes a little bit and there she saw a strange sight that made her slowing heart race.

He was tall, taller than any man that she had ever seen. His aura was somehow… different as well. She struggled to move her body closer so she could observe the other through the barrier closer.

He was _so_ handsome! Had she died? She had to have died, where else but in the heavens above could she have seen such a stunning creature?

He abruptly jumped back a bit when he noticed that he was being watched. "Wait!" The blonde girl cried, the strange, handsome creature shaking his head before vanishing. "No…" She cried, collapsing into the snow: not caring what happened.

_That… was when I was given a second chance…_

"**Child…"** A voice darker and deeper than any chasm or gorge echoed all around the girl's body. She was being suspended in a cave filled with magma below and steam billowing off of the rocky walls. **"You have been wronged… All your life… Allow me… To make it right…"**

All she could feel was fire consuming her body…

* * *

><p>"So you see…" Eris smirked, making a wine-glass appear in her hand that soon filled with the thick, red, viscous substance raining down from the sky: blood, "You can't stop me. No one can. As long as the very power of evil and chaos runs through my veins…" She pressed the vessel glass to her lips, drinking down the <em>glass<em> and chomping away at the blood, "I _am_ a goddess. I will _never _die!"

That statement was accompanied by a massive crack of thunder: the blonde human cackling as she rose up into the air; abruptly hissing: "Bye-bye weasel-boy!"

"Damn it!" Itachi hissed as he was forced away by a dark gale of wind.

"Now then," Eris sighed, strolling towards the children, "I suppose that I have to get rid you guys, huh? Well, I guess that the quickest way would be to just go ahead and kill you! So…" Her hands began to glow with a black energy, concentrated chaos, that she was about to shoot towards the kids…

But she was stopped by a red bolt of chakra. It was from Itachi, the weasel-demon seething, "Don't you _dare_!"

"Fucking rodent!" Eris yelled, the area becoming pitch-black: only the outlines of everyone and everything being visible. "Ya see that?" She cackled, "Pure, concentrated chaos. All over this wretched world."

Itachi tried to ignore her taunts, focusing on another attack… Just to find that he couldn't do anything. "No…"

"DIE!" Eris shrieked, blue eyes mad as she surged her arm towards the kids. They were all petrified: even Hun wasn't sure what to do in face of such fury. Ongakuhana clenched her teeth, Kira sobbing behind her. Then…

"_That song is called 'The Song of Truth' and it's one of the main anthems of Terram. It represents Amaterasu's promise to the world and all of her children that she will always help the truth to shine forth."_

Ongakuhana didn't know why Iruka-sensei's words echoed in his mind just then… But she did the only thing that her petrified body could think of…

_"The crimson-stained sun  
>has illuminated everything…"<em> Her shaky voice got out. Eris screeched to a halt: smiling in disbelief,

"Singing? _Really?_" But Ongakuhana went on,

"_Here in the now…_

_And there in the past…_

_Is what I have imagined within this twilight…" _

"But why does this stupid song sound…" Eris asked herself as she stood still and listened. But when Ongakuhana began singing the next lyric,

"_More than my own hands can accomplish?"_

"Shit, NO!" The 'goddess' shrieked a bit too late as a beam of light shot down from above her perfect sphere of chaos. She gritted her teeth as she was blocked away from the kids, Amaterasu's light breaking through despite her injured state. "Damn it!"

_"Please teach me how to live  
>a little more vulnerably than I do now…"<br>_

* * *

><p>"Musical flower?" Zetsu asked as he had walked into the Yonko Forests, not sure why but feeling a certain force tugging him in said direction. But when he heard his daughter's voice, he immediately broke into a run.<p>

He had been running for a while when he heard a bright, happy voice ask, "Zetsu-san, where are you going?" Zetsu turned to see Tobi bouncing alongside him.

"Tobi…" Zetsu smiled, seeing the joy-demon back to normal, "I think that the kids are out here somewhere…"

The plant-demon was interrupted by a loud meowing: that had to be Aya and only one demon could be riding her.

Sure enough, Aya pounced down in stride with the other two: Hidan on her back. "Hidan!" Tobi waved, the albino shaking his head,

"Not now, Tobi, we have to find Itachi and the kids!"

"How do you know they're out here?" Tobi blinked. But Hidan shook his head,

"Mother's intuition."

"Hidan!" That was another familiar voice. Hidan's ears twitched as the sound of a rope swinging in the air echoed past them. He smirked, holding up a hand just in time to catch said rope that Kakuzu used to land on the running panther.

"Took you long enough, bastard." Hidan rolled his eyes, jolting when the brunette pinched him in silent retaliation.

* * *

><p>"<em>Won't you taint me just a little?"<em> Ongakuhana sang her little heart out once the children realized that the song and Amaterasu's presence seemed to be the only things stopping Eris from killing them.

"Keep singing Ongakuhana!" Kira cried, tears in her eyes as she held the plant-girl's hand, "_Please_ keep singing!" Ongakuhana nodded, continuing, _  
><em>

_"That way, even if I get hurt_  
><em>and lose everything around me…"<em>

"Oh, you're sure as hell going to lose everything," Shrieked and howled as she clawed and attacked the wall of light, "I'LL KILL YOU, YOU LITTLE _BRAT_!"

* * *

><p>The others had been running when the bellowing of a buffalo broke through the trees. Soon enough, Alfred charged into the area: Ivan on his back.<p>

"My friends!" Ivan waved, "We were all having the same intuition?"

They all nodded, not stopping in their actions of course. But a birdsong from above had Hidan looking up to see Sasori and Deidara.

Sasori silently patted Deidara's wing before he jumped to the ground, panting as he ran to keep up with the others.

"WAIT FOR US!" That was Naruto, calling down from Sasuke's back as the dragon carried them through the forest canopies. That was it then: they were all here except for…

A large explosion rolled through the land, a mass of blue rising from the horizon as the skies grew from their foul, dark state to a dark blue. The forests soon felt like a rainstorm was drenching them as the remnants of a massive tidal wave broke apart at the forest's edge. And along with the new weather, Kisame landed on the ground in a swift run.

He almost passed the others before he asked, "Is Itachi with you?" They all shook their heads, speeding up so they could get to the center of the Forests.

Not even thinking twice, when they got to the center and the core of darkness, Kisame stabbed his sword into it: creating an opening. They all rushed inside, just in time to hear Ongakuhana try to sing,

"_This song of truth will flow through my…"_

"SHUT UP!" Eris raged, her energy destroying the wall of light and sending the children flying.

"NO!" Hidan screamed, trying to rush over but only being stopped by Eris's power. The 'goddess', now out of her mind in rage, giggled,

"So, you all think you can try and stop me now? Ganging up on a girl, how rude can you _be?_" She accentuated that by raising her glowing hands: the majority of the group finding themselves being lifted up into the air.

But Kisame had managed to get out of Eris's line of vision and was desperately trying to get to Itachi's aid. "Itachi!" The shark-demon panted as he struggled to help the brunette up.

"Kisame…" Itachi whispered, hardly believing his teary eyes, "You're here…"

"I wouldn't be anywhere else…" Kisame gently pressed their foreheads together before he stated, "We need to end this! Now!"

"But…" Itachi shook his head, "I don't have the Instruments of Unity with me."

Eris's shriek of pain interrupted their conversation as a small satchel floated out of Sasori's pocket. The demons all landed back on the ground, watching Eris recoil in pain as the charms floated on top of the twelve stepping stones.

"Everyone!" Itachi called out, "Get to the instruments!"

"Right!" They all nodded, rushing towards the charms while Eris was still a bit dazed. By the time she came to, she gulped as she saw each of the demons with a charm around their neck: Itachi holding the baton in his fingers.

"Fucking… hell…" Eris sneered as Itachi waved the baton once, stating,

"We represent the principles that have kept Terram at peace since the day of its founding." Kisame stated,

"We embody Loyalty,"

"Charity," Sasori stated.

"Confidence," Deidara nodded.

"Industry," Kakuzu began,

"Honesty," Hidan finished.

"Kindness…" Zetsu gulped, Tobi beaming,

"Laughter!"

"Wisdom…" Ivan spoke, Alfred smirking,

"Peace!"

"Affection." Sasuke and Naruto stated, before Itachi finished,

"And Mysticism!" At that, the charms began to resonate: the kanji on them pulsating until they began to shift and change.

Soon, a big bell (the types you would see in churches) floated by Kakuzu, a guitar appeared in Hidan's hands, a bass in Sasori's, Deidara had a set of chimes. A massive festival drum appeared between Tobi and Alfred the same time a violin appeared into Ivan's hands, and a piano appeared for Sasuke and Naruto. Finally, two microphone stands appeared before Kisame and Zetsu; the baton in Itachi's hand shimmering: It was time.

"I'm not scared of you…" Eris frowned, taking a step back, "You can't do anything… I'm too powerful…"

Ignoring her, Itachi waved the baton: Ivan playing on the violin. Tobi and Alfred then began hitting either side of the massive drum before Kisame sang,

"_I used to rule the world,  
>Seas would rise when I gave the word,<br>Now in the morning I sleep alone,  
>Sweep the streets I used to own…"<em>

Sasori and Hidan joined in at that moment, Zetsu singing,

_"I used to roll the dice  
>Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes<br>Listen as the crowd would sing  
>'Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!'"<em>

_"One minute I held the key  
>Next the walls were closed on me<br>And I discovered that my castles stand  
>Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand…"<em>Kisame added before everyone joined in on their instruments as he and Zetsu joined their voices together, the darkness that Eris had created cracking apart due to the holy energies,

_"I hear the Terram bells a ringing,  
>Demon Cavalry choirs are singing,<br>Be my mirror, my sword and shield,  
>My missionaries in a foreign field…<em>

For some reason I can't explain,  
>Once you go there was never,<br>Never an honest word…  
>And that was when I ruled the world<p>

…_"_

Deidara made sure that the chimes were able to catch the winds that were slowly flowing through the area, their beautiful sound managing to rouse the children from their pained unconsciousness.

_"It was the wicked and wild wind…  
>Blew down the doors to let me in…"<em> Kisame belted out, looking to his side to see Sasuke and Naruto playing on the piano,

_"Shattered windows and the sound of drums…  
>People couldn't believe what I'd become…"<em>

_"Revolutionaries wait…  
>For my head on a silver plate…"<em> Zetsu sang, keeping his beautiful voice steady as he kept the verses going,

_"Just a puppet on a lonely string…  
>Oh who would ever want to be king?"<em>

Another flourish, the core of darkness and chaos finally shattering to the ground: light and fresh air finally able to come through,

_"I hear the Terram bells a ringing,  
>Demon Cavalry choirs are singing…<br>Be my mirror, my sword and shield,  
>My missionaries in a foreign field…<em>

_For some reason I can't explain,_  
><em>I know history shall rejoice my name,<em>  
><em>Never an honest word…<em>  
><em>But that was when I ruled the world…"<em>

"No…" Eris looked around in horror: the current scene reflecting that moment from her past all too well. The instruments all resounded as they were played: their power coming together to form something new…

"_Oh~oh~!"_ The children gasped as they saw the ten Celestials slowly coming into sight, vocalizing as the notes reached their peak. They weren't alone, however: In the heavens, the sun and moon were quickly rebuilding themselves. And down below, Amaterasu appeared with her brother Tsukuyomi to help seal the final blow.

"_Oh~oh~!"_

"Huh?" Eris yelped as she felt that she couldn't move: her body still in fear and in the presence of such pure power.

"You poor child." Amaterasu and Tsukuyomi shook their heads.

_"I hear the Terram bells a ringing!  
>Demon Cavalry choirs are singing!"<em>Kisame and Zetsu sang out, pouring all their hearts and energy into their words. Then… Then… The instruments shot forth the holy energies that had been imbued into them.

"_Be my mirror, my sword and shield!  
>My missionaries in a foreign field!" <em>

"No…" Eris shook her head, screaming as she was struck, "NO!" Tears sprung from her eyes as she tried in vain to break free from the stone prison her body was becoming… But it was of no use.

_"For some reason I can't explain…  
>I know history shall rejoice my name!"<em>Zetsu fell silent: Kisame had to be the one to seal Eris away.

"_Never an honest word…"_ Kisame gently sang before crushing the mic in his hand: the heavens above breaking loose with a downpour of holy light,  
><em>"But that was when I ruled the world…"<em>

Itachi then raised the baton towards the sky: it letting loose a mighty wave the swept across Terram, undoing all the damage that Eris had done.

And what of the so-called 'goddess'?

She stood, stone again, in the center of the clearing; just as she did all those many years ago.

"Damn…" Everyone sighed, collapsing a bit as it seemed that everything had gone back to normal.

"We did it…" Naruto whispered, "We actually did it…"

"Yes…" Rokubi nodded, bowing to the group, "We owe you our thanks once again… All of Terram does." As the Celestials were talking and Amaterasu's and Tsukuyomi's visages vanished up to their homes in the heavens, Itachi… Had a weird sense of dread.

"Itachi?" Kisame asked as he saw the weasel-demon slowly walk towards the statue. The brunette ignored him, walking until he stood in front of Eris's face frozen in pain.

…

It happened faster than anyone could have realized.

"**DAMN YOU!"** Eris shrieked as she broke free from her prison, nails sharp like razors… As they pierced the brunette's stomach.

"NOO!" Kisame roared, forgetting all of his exhaustion and all danger to rush over to his love's side. But at that sight, Sanbi had had enough.

Faster than the wind, he moved over: sword in hand…

"Ah?" Eris blinked out of her rage as she lowered her gaze and saw the mighty blade piercing through her chest. She almost couldn't believe it: so she wiped a finger through the blood that was spilling forth and pressed it between her lips. "Huh…" She commented, "It's bitter."

Finally slain, Eris collapsed to the ground: shattering into pieces as fine as sand and traveling over the breeze.

"Itachi?" All attention went back to Kisame: the shark-demon pressing his hand into the brunette's stomach to try and stop the bleeding, "Come on, stay awake damn it! Itachi!"

"Tired…" The brunette rasped, coughing out blood that got on Kisame's cheek.

"Don't go to sleep!" Kisame shouted, howling out his anguish every time he had to shake Itachi into wakefulness, "Stop it! I can fix this… I can fix this… I can…"

"Get over here!" Kakuzu gritted out as he and Ivan struggled to pull the frantic, screaming shark-demon away from his love and unborn child.

"Shit…" Shichibi whispered as he snapped his fingers, an emergency medical kit appearing to rest in his hands, "Move! I need to see if I can save them both!"

"Chances of that are slim…" Nibi whispered, a whispy grey pen and notebook appearing in her hands.

"Oh no…" Deidara whispered, tears gathering at the corners of his eyes. Hidan immediately went to get Mizuki: whispering to the otter-demon,

"Don't worry, he's going to be okay…"

"Then take me over there!" Mizuki insisted, refusing to cry, "Let me see him!"

"Does anyone have any heart-root?" Rokubi called out, Ivan quickly giving him the last of what he had. "Come on Itachi…" The weasel-deity whispered, "You can make it through this… you have to…"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**TG - * dodges sharp objects * AY, the pointy! Look, I didn't mean for things to turn out this way... But you have to read on to see what happens! Oh, and review! **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	12. Welcome to the World

**A/N: For the end of this chapter, I highly reccomend going to YouTube and looking up the song 'Sunset in Equestria'. Very fitting.**

* * *

><p>Itachi… remembered hearing screaming… Kisame? Mizuki?<p>

Why were they crying? No, don't cry…

* * *

><p><em>He woke up in a vast desert: the heat not unpleasant but like that of a warm blanket. He looked above him, since he was laying down, and saw a sky filled with warm, pink stars. <em>

"_Everyone's a child waitin' to be born…" Itachi flinched when he heard a voice, moving his head so he could see if anyone was around. _

_There was a figure… hopping down the road towards him. However, when she was finally close enough for him to discern her appearance, he wasn't at all afraid. _

_In the guise of a kangaroo dressed in a burgundy and white cloak, a pink-hat decorated with flower petals, and bells attached to her long, curled tail, the great Kanga-Mage smiled as she set her travel bag on the ground. _

"_Looks like you've been doing a good job these past few months then," She gently pressed her hand onto his stomach, nodding, "A tad earlier than I expected: this one was supposed to be born in the winter… But I don't suppose they'll mind…" The great Kanga-Mage looked up and winked: a single star reflecting the action, "Didn't think it." _

"_Excuse me…" Itachi asked, hissing as a shot of pain rushed through his body, "But am I really about to have a baby?" _

"_Mm-hm." The Kanga-Mage nodded, getting a fragrant blossom, a knife, a basin of warm water, and a knife out of her bag, "Don't worry, you're in good hands. Most people don't ever get to see me, so count yourself lucky." _

"_But…" Itachi bit his lip, "I wanted him to be here…"_

"_Don't worry, he is." The Kanga-Mage hummed, pressing the blossom into Itachi's mouth, "Chew this exactly 16 times before swallowing." _

"_Okay…" Itachi said around the blossom, "Is this going to hurt?" _

"_Are you chewing that blossom?" The Kanga-Mage asked. Itachi nodded, "Then it shouldn't be unbearable." _

"_I'm tired…" Itachi whispered, about to close his eyes. The abrupt sound of shattering glass ripped through the area, everything going dark. _

"_Nu-uh!" The Kanga-Mage snapped, shaking the weasel-demon, "You can't sleep durin' this! You'll both die if you do!" _

"_What?" Itachi shouted, nearly bolting up. But the kangaroo kept him down and asked, _

"_How many times have you chewed that blossom?" Itachi thought for a moment before he answered, _

"_15." _

"_Chew once more and swallow so we can get started then!" Itachi followed her advice, immediately being over taken by a numbing sensation from his stomach down. _

"_What was that?" Itachi gasped, "Why can't I feel my legs?" _

"_Oh, the anesthesia blossom's taken effect! Quickly now," She picked up her knife, Itachi immediately tensing up at the sight of it, "Calm down, you're going to stress the baby." _

"_Easier said than done!" Itachi snapped back, the Kanga-Mage shook her head, _

"_You won't feel anything. Besides, I know what I'm doing." _

* * *

><p><em>True to her word, Itachi didn't feel anything but the slightest pinches and running of wetness that he wasn't sure whether it was blood or the water that had been brought… And the occasional feeling of his skin yielding to the knife. <em>

"_Okay then…" The Kanga-Mage hummed as she worked, making sure that she didn't pierce anything she didn't need to. "One more cut and… Oh! I see the head!" _

_That single star above shimmered. _

_But that sound of glass sounded again, the area darkening. "Wake up!" The kangaroo snapped, rapping the handle of the knife on Itachi's hand. _

"_Hey!" The weasel-demon snapped back. The kangaroo only smiled, _

"_You're almost done. Pretty swift too, we've only been here 10 hours!" _

"_What part of that is _swift_ to you?" Itachi groaned, shivering as he felt like something was being pulled out of him. _

"_And here… we…" The star in the sky slowly dimmed out as crying filled the air, "Are!" _

"_What?" Itachi blinked, looking over as the kangaroo wrapped the gently fussing wriggling bundle in a blanket. He tried to sit up and get a better look, but the Kanga-Mage shook her head, _

"_You should really wake up now." _

"_But I'm not sleeping." Itachi insisted, still trying to see his child. But the Kanga-Mage repeated herself, _

"_Wake up 'Tachi…"_

* * *

><p>"Come on 'Tachi…" In the highest-quality room in the Adamant Sea Medical Research Center, Kisame had been sitting vigil over Itachi's unconscious body: medical machines beeping and hissing around them.<p>

There was also a bassinette set next to the weasel-demon: Kisame keeping a close eye on it as he gently prayed for the other to just open his eyes.

"Please…" He whispered, grasping Itachi's hands in his own, "Itachi, you can't leave me like this. Yes, I know that I'm sounding selfish: there are others who are worried for you too… But _I_ can't lose you! Wake up, damn it! Wake up…"

A rustling from the bassinette made him stop: he was probably being too loud.

The room was silent: only the machinery beeping and hissing around them –

"…same…"

"Huh?" Kisame stood up, hoping that he had heard something and his heart wasn't playing tricks on him. But there was a gentle squeeze on his hands before tired red eyes slowly opened.

"Please don't ever cry again…" Itachi rasped out, lack of hydration evident, "Promise me?"

"Promise!" Kisame nodded excitedly, wrapping the other in a near bone-crushing hug. "Thank the gods! Oh, thank the gods!"

"Kisame…" Itachi rolled his eyes, "You're going to give me another injury!"

"Oops!" The bluenette chuckled as he let go, "I'm sorry, it's just…" He didn't get to finish: a soft whining interrupting both parties. Itachi's breathing went still: eyes wide as he asked,

"Is that..?" Kisame smiled and nodded before walking over to the bassinette. He carefully, with a tenderness that Itachi would never have known the shark was capable of, picked up a squirming bundle that had been wrapped up in a warm, rose blanket designed with stars.

"Say hi to mommy…" Kisame smiled before gently uncovering the baby's face. Itachi felt tears roll down his face as he saw the soft, lily-white face marked only by a star-shaped birthmark under her right eye. She had her father's blue hair but, though it had some growing to do, one could tell that it would learn to fall flat like her mother's. She cooed and mewled, opening her eyes to reveal a wide, shiny red.

"Oh my gods…" Itachi whispered, taking the child into his arms: not even caring about how sore he was. "Kisame, she's beautiful!"

"How could she be anything else," Kisame smiled, waving a finger in front of the baby: blinking as she took it in a small, delicate hand, "With you as her mother?"

"Has anyone else seen her?" Itachi asked, smiling as the baby lost interest in her father's finger and was soon entranced by Itachi's hair.

"No," Kisame shook his head, "The doctors only let me in because of how serious the injuries were."

"Injuries…" Itachi whispered, the scenes from before flashing through his mind. Abruptly, he winced, "It hurts. Kisame, please."

"I got it." The shark-demon nodded, taking the baby away so Itachi could get into a position that didn't aggravate his healing wounds. When he settled back down, Itachi beckoned for his daughter (_his_ daughter) to be placed back in his arms.

"What should we name her?" He asked. Kisame wasn't sure,

"Do you have anyone in your family that you would want to name her after? Because my parents will just be happy to see the both of you here and healthy." Itachi shook his head,

"I wish I had my book of 'Kanga-Mage Blessed Names'… Wait a minute." He hummed as he thought, "I remember one…"

* * *

><p>A week later, Konoha just then beginning to regain some semblance to normalcy, Sanbi stood in the center of The Remembrance Path in the Crystal Palace: a jar of ink and a sewing needle in his hands as he looked over what he had just finished, spare threads on the floor. He sensed footsteps walking towards him but he recognized the gait.<p>

"I would have thought that you would have been organizing a celebration with your student and his friends." He smiled upon feeling Rokubi's lips on his neck and his arms draping over his shoulders,

"They pleaded with me not to make this all about pomp and circumstance: they just want to rest and appreciate the new day."

"Do you blame them?" Sanbi smirked before kissing Rokubi's hand and asking, "What do you think?", gesturing towards the wall.

"Oh, it's beautiful…" Rokubi whispered in awe.

There was a new tapestry on the Remembrance Path. This one depicted Terram's chosen few, their children watching them, wielding the Instruments of Unity as Tsukuyomi and Amaterasu watched Sanbi slaying Eris once and for all.

A unified effort that brought forth glorious results.

* * *

><p>It was sunset in Adamant Falls. The cozy town by the sea back at peace at last. On the beach, around a large blanket covered in different foods and drink, Kakuzu, Hidan, Sasori, Deidara, Zetsu, Tobi, Ivan, Alfred, Sasuke, and Naruto sat: talking and laughing as the children played in the cool, clear waters of the ocean…<p>

Except for Mizuki, who was too busy sitting in Itachi's lap: intently watching his baby sister who lay sleeping in a portable bassinette. "She's _my_ little sister?" He asked Itachi, the weasel-demon nodding.

"Yep," Kisame smiled as the baby opened her eyes and grabbed towards him: asking to be picked up, "Miyu Hoshigaki… Welcome home."

* * *

><p>Peace cannot stand without Unity.<p>

And without Unity, there can be no Peace.

Let this lesson be passed on through all generations to come.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Finally, that saga is done! We can go back to having fun! I mean, thanks for reading everyone! Please review! Oh and about the baby's name: I just like it, it sounds cute! **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	13. Time is of the Essence! Part 1

**A/N: Hey guys! Let's do a new update, shall we? I don't know, usually I would have something fun to say here but I'm kind of depressed... Mostly due to the MLP fandoms 'Derpy Wars'. But I will say something. In honor of some of teh background characters in MLP:FiM, especially Derpy Hooves, this fic will have some more emphasis on background characters. Oh, and also... See if you can see my OC tribute to Derpy in this. Hint: it will be in the second part of this update. **

**Let's give a bow to... elric0sis (if you do not update 'Two Truths and A Lie', there will be severe repurcussions young lady! Jk, jk...), Waterbomb22, KanameAngel, , Alexa Hiwatari, MidnightShadowGhost, Lyrics-For-The-Mind, and FMJ6. Yeah, keep the reviews coming! Please?**

* * *

><p>The morning sun was just rising to rest over Adamant Falls. Inside the Adamant Falls Library, Itachi's voice called out, "Brush?"<p>

"Brush." Sasuke nodded, the dragon placing a calligraphy brush on the writing podium before Itachi snapped his fingers,

"Scroll paper?"

"Check." Sasuke hummed, the paper floating past his head.

"Extra ink?"

"Check."

"_Extra_ extra ink?" Itachi asked, Sasuke barely dodging the two jars of ink that floated towards the table.

"Check..?" The dragon rolled his eyes, Itachi only asked,

"Is that everything on the check-list?"

"Yep," The navy-bluenette replied, quickly reading over the list that his brother had written out.

"Good." Itachi nodded, clasping his hands together, "Now that we've finished our check-list for things we need to _create_ a check-list, we can create _my_ check-list for things we need to have completed by the end of the day." The weasel-demon quickly turned, smiling, "Ready?"

"Ready." Sasuke gave a quick nod, calligraphy brush at the ready.

"Item one," Itachi began, "Create a check-list of things to complete by the end of the day!" Sasuke only groaned.

* * *

><p>Late morning in the beachside burg of Adamant Falls found Uchiha Sasuke dragging along a massive list as he tried to follow his brother around town on their tedious scavenger-hunt worthy chore-list. "How are we doing otouto?" Itachi asked, Sasuke reading over the portion of the list in his hands,<p>

"Let's see… We have: dropped off your cape and hat at Sasori's, paid Iruka back for the chalk you needed, went grocery-shopping for the week, borrowed a spell-book from Ivan, bought some more paper and ink from the stationery store in Adamant Sea City…"

"Huh," Itachi hummed, "I could have sworn that Kisame bought me some a few days ago when he visited his parents…" Sasuke gave a roll of his eyes, snorting at the long train of paper behind them,

"I can't _imagine_ where it all goes…"

"And since Kisame is watching Miyu this morning," Itachi smiled as he remembered the shark-demon practically crying to spend some time with his baby girl, "We're ahead of schedule! What's next? Let's see if we can finish this up early." Sasuke quickly skimmed through the list before smiling,

"Cupcakes."

* * *

><p>"Here you are dearies!" The old candy-making demoness beamed as she set a bright, blue box on the counter. She <em>waddled<em> off, patting her stomach as she went to go check on another order. Itachi opened the box, just to make sure that everything was up to snuff… Sasuke hadn't eaten all morning due to all of the chores and was all too ready to grab a cupcake. But Itachi immediately frowned,

"I only needed 24."

"Oh, I know dearie…" Mrs. Cake walked by, carrying a box of cookies to her husband to decorate, "But there were some left over so we decided on giving you a baker's special!"

"Thank you – Fuck!" Sasuke was about to take a bite out of a blue cupcake, Itachi pulling him back and shaking his head,

"I appreciate the sentiment, really. But with the new cupcakes, the icing to cake ratio has been thrown off."

"Beg pardon?" Mrs. Cake frowned, confused.

"It's just that these cupcakes are going to be shared amongst my friends and I don't want anyone to feel like someone is getting more or less than someone else." The old demoness blinked before giving a slow,

"O…kay."

"Don't worry!" Mrs. Cake barely ducked out of the way as Itachi used his magic to bring a knife over, "I'll fix this in no time." The brunette scooped a drop of icing over to another cupcake, frowning, "Too much on that one now… How about I… No, now _that_ one has less. No matter, I'll just try _again_ until this is perfect…"

Icing began to fly all over as Itachi continued to edit and make his own calculations about the cupcakes. After so long, Mrs. Cake actually had to grab a chair and take a seat as she watched the weasel-demon work: gnashing his teeth as he tried and toiled until…

"Perfect!" He nodded. Mrs. Cake looked into the boxes and saw that every single cupcake had a single pea-sized piece of icing on it.

"Oh yes," The old demoness rolled her eyes at the sight of her decimated work, "_Much_ better." Itachi quickly tied the boxes back up and began to carry them out of _Swirl_, humming,

"Now onto…" It was then he looked at Sasuke, the younger Uchiha covered in icing. "Oh, sorry about that Sasuke. I guess we can add 'clean up a dragon' to the list."

"No need. Weird but useful dragon-trick number 53." Sasuke sighed, opening his mouth in order to pull out his tongue… which actually got to a good 4 feet before he wrapped it around himself and then retracted: his body coming out as clean as a whistle. "Buttercream. Nice." He licked his lips, Itachi shaking his head,

"Helpful… If not slightly disturbing."

"Meh," Sasuke shrugged, following the weasel-demon, "Haters gonna hate."

* * *

><p>Finally, back at the Library, Sasuke followed Itachi, announcing, "I think that we're done."<p>

"Oh no we're not." Itachi insisted. Sasuke looked and, sure enough, at the bottom of the list,

"'Triple-check the check-list to make sure we didn't forget anything when we _double-checked_ the check-list'—Oh, fuck this." He tossed the list away and stated, "Check. Damn it!" He clutched at his writing hand, "All these chores have given me carpal-tunnel!"

"Mm…" Itachi had decided to try one of the cupcakes, almost missing his brother say,

"Good thing that we don't have to send a letter to Rokubi-sama this week. I doubt that I can right another—"

Itachi nearly choked out the cupcake, red eyes wide as he asked in sheer shock, "No… letter? We haven't sent out a letter?"

"Nope," Sasuke shook his head, looking for a bandage, "But it's not like it's a bad thing—"

"Of _course _it's bad!" Itachi rushed over, panicking, "I'm supposed to send Rokubi-sama a letter of something I've learned about Terram or Unity _every_ week! Not every other, not every 10 days, EVERY WEEK!"

Itachi stopped yelling at Sasuke: rushing over to the dressers and pulling everything out in a frantic search. "Calendar! Calendar! My kingdom for a calendar!"

"Calm down Richard the Third…" Sasuke sighed, picking up the sought after item from the desk. But Itachi only used his magic to grab the calendar book _and _the dragon carrying it. As Sasuke found his face acquainted with the writing podium, Itachi skimmed through the pages: damned-near hyper-ventilating,

"When did we send the last one?"

"Tuesday…" Sasuke groaned, rubbing his nose.

"And what day is it today?" The weasel-demon snapped, turning to the day's date and finding out, to his dismay, that it was the following…

"Tuesday?" Sasuke replied, Itachi screaming,

"NO!" The brunette ran up the stairs with fire on his heels. He made it to the top floor, his bedroom specifically, and looked outside. To his frantic mind, Amaterasu's sun was moving overhead with the speed of a clock-hand: firm, absolute. "Oh gods, no! If I don't send him a letter by sunset today, I'll be… I'll have a… I'll be… TARDY~!" The word was said with such force that it seemed like a red screen of doom had appeared behind the weasel-demon. But the screen was _moved,_ Sasuke muttering,

"Freaking Orochimaru, leaving these backdrops here…" Once it had been moved completely, Sasuke shook his head, "Now, what are you screaming about?"

"Tardy Sasuke, Tardy! I'll be LATE! Gods!" The weasel-demon fell into his bed, groaning as he covered his eyes, "How could I let this happen? All my organization skills must have gone straight to shit for this to happen!" However, Sasuke only rolled his eyes,

"For gods' sakes, aniki! You're being a drama-queen! Rokubi-sama will be able to look the other way for _one_ assignment, I'm sure!"

"Who am I to take that chance, Sasuke?" Itachi spoke, his face forlorn and eyes solemn, "This is Rokubi No Raijuu we're talking about: deity of thunder and my sensei in magic! Oh no." He gulped, eyes and ears twitching, "What if he doesn't forgive me?" Sasuke, who had been dusting off his sleeves, scoffed,

"I highly doubt—"

"What if he thinks I'm neglecting my studies like some rowdy college student on a free-ride?" Itachi interrupted teleporting in front of the fair dragon. "What if he makes me return to Konoha and tests me on my learning? What if I don't pass?"

"Itachi." Sasuke deadpanned, "You have an IQ of 250 and an MIQ (Magical IQ) of 1300. I don't think that—"

"And as my _sensei_," Itachi gulped, "He'll probably put me through the _worst, possible_ punishment if I don't pass!" Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose,

"And that would be?" Itachi bit his lip, almost feeling sick to say what he was about to say…

"He'll flunk me out of my grade-range! And he won't stop there, oh no~!" The weasel-demon shook his head, pacing the floor. "He'll probably send me back… to…" He whispered, "Magic Camp!"

* * *

><p><em>In his mind, Itachi trembled as he was forced to sit around a campfire in a muddy, fly-infested swamp as demon-children around him pulled at his hair and ears: singing, <em>

"_This old mage, He cast one! _

_He casted a spell on my thumb! _

_With a knick-knack, fizzle-splat,_

_Give a dog-demon a bone! _

_This old mage will soon fly home! Ha ha ha~!"_

* * *

><p>"That's enough of that…" Sasuke hummed, walking over to Itachi who was still trembling, "Aniki, that's so stupid I can't even… Look at me. Look at me damn it!" He forced Itachi to look up at him, though the weasel-demon's eyes were still uncertain, "Rokubi won't send you anywhere. You're blowing this out of proportion!"<p>

It took a moment. But Itachi's breathing returned to a manageable level, "You're right," He nodded, "Things _will_ be fine…"

"Good," Sasuke agreed, "I'm glad that we could see—"

"Because I'm going to find someone with a problem and write about it before sunset!" Itachi happily interrupted, Sasuke huffing,

"Should I be surprised? I mean, really?" But Itachi only brought his baby brother into his arms and smiled,

"So, otouto..? Is there anything troubling you that _I_, as a wonderfully caring older sibling can help you with?"

Dark eyes met red as Itachi _smiled_ Sasuke down, the dragon slowly shaking his head, "I got nothing." Itachi frowned, dropping Sasuke to the ground and stating,

"Then I will just have to find someone who _does_!" Before he walked out of the library, chiming, "See you later otouto."

"Fuck me…" Sasuke groaned, rubbing his temples, "This won't end well…"

* * *

><p>The sun clicked across the sky.<p>

_The second day. Five hours remain. **( 1 )**_

"Come on Itachi…" Itachi hummed to himself as he walked down the road, passing familiar demons and creatures all the while, "You can handle this. I mean, a town this size _has_ to have a problem or two or _three_ to solve!"

There was a scream (a manly scream, but a scream nonetheless) from across town. Itachi turned towards that direction at once: you could see stars in his eyes as he realized, "Sasori! Either he or Deidara should have a good, easy problem!"

* * *

><p>The screaming was only worse before Itachi slammed the door of GlazeFeather Boutique open and announced, "Don't worry Sasori! Deidara! As your friend, I am here to help and not take advantage of your misfortune at all!"<p>

Inside, Sasori could be seen slumped against a wall: slamming his fist against it as he groaned, "Why me~? Why, gods, why~?" He looked up at the ceiling and whispered, "Of all the things that could possibly happen. This is," He shouted, "The WORST. POSSIBLE. THING!"

"What has happened?" Itachi overdramatically gasped, placing a hand on the scorpion-demon's shoulder, "My dear friend!"

"I've lost…" Sasori began, clearing his throat, "My roll of diamond-embedded silk! I have searched high!" He looked up before looking down, "And I have searched low. Then high!" Back up, "And then low again!" He kicked a spool of thread away before using his magic to call over a sofa: falling onto it, "I can't find it _anywhere_!"

Itachi wrung his hands together, eyes shining in pure glee. This situation was perfect. Hell, it was more perfect than perfect! "How can I possibly finish this order~?" Sasori groaned, clutching at his chest.

"Never fear Sasori!" Itachi began, striking a dynamic pose, "As your friend and in the name of Unity, I shall help you find what has been l—"

"Oh, _there_ it is!" Sasori smiled, walking over to a pile of discarded fabrics and finding the diamond-embedded silk buried in it. "Isn't it always in the last place that you look? Deidara, call of the search, I found it!"

"Phew!" Deidara chirped, flying down the stairs and landing in normal form, "What a relief un. Oh, hi Itachi!"

"Hi." Itachi sulked before trying to understand, "So… You lost your silk."

"Mm-hm." Sasori nodded, measuring out a length of silk before cutting it.

"And you… _found_ it."

"That's right."

"And there's nothing else that I, as a good friend and agent of Unity can help either of you with?" After a moment, Deidara turned and began,

"Actually, there _is_ something…"

"Yes?" Itachi nodded, Deidara stating,

"Can you hand me that jar of pigment base by your feet, un?" Itachi's hopes sank as he silently used his magic to hand the bird-demon the pigment. But the dismayed tone didn't go past Deidara, "Itachi, is there something bothering you…"

When he looked over, Itachi had gone.

* * *

><p>The sun clicked through the sky.<p>

_The second day. Four hours remain._

"No need to worry myself…" Itachi gave a nervous chuckle as he walked through town, "I mean, Sasori and Deidara are obviously having a good day! There has to be _someone else_ in town that will need me!"

* * *

><p>At Goldleaf Farms, the sounds of fighting and splintering wood could be heard echoing throughout the area. The source was Hoshigaki Kisame, his eyes covered in goggles as he ripped through one of the farm barns.<p>

He shouted, huffed, and grunted as he kicked, punched, and used water-magic and jutsu to tear the building apart. When another wave from the nearby river crashed into it, Kakuzu, who had been nearby, ducked into a nearby ravine: clutching his helmet to his head as debris went flying.

"Out you go!" Kisame called out as he yanked away a support-beam and hefted it out of the way. The solid piece of wood nearly fell into Itachi: the weasel-demon avoiding it by a few steps.

"What in Terram?" Itachi whispered as he saw his lover ripping through the barn, He soon gasped, "Kisame and Kakuzu must be fighting again. Oh, he must _hate _his _guts_ and wish for him to die!" He instantly smiled and clapped his hands, "How wonderful!"

Kisame was jumping in place, keeping his body moving before he rushed forward again. "Kisame, stop!"

"What the-?" Kisame blinked as he felt himself being held in place by a familiar red energy. Itachi slowly walked over, Kisame smiled,

"Oh, hey 'Tachi. What are you doing here… and what's with the whole… stopping me in my tracks thing?"

"I know that you're mad at Kakuzu," Itachi began, ignoring the shark-demon's questions, "But don't worry! Whatever has come between the two of you, Unity will always overcome any problem!"

"Um… Itachi?" Kisame asked when Itachi's magic wore off, "Are you okay? You _have_ been taking those hormone-balancing pills the doctor prescribed to you?"

"Don't worry about that!" Itachi shook his head. You see, though male-pregnancy was as common as a normal pregnancy in Terram, males had to undergo a strict diet and pill-program in order to get their bodies back to normal after their child's birth. But Itachi… hadn't been sticking to his plan ('I don't have the time!').

* * *

><p>"I know you two must have had a horrible fight," Itachi hummed as he laid Kisame down on a bench and made a notebook appear so he could take notes, "Why don't you tell me <em>all<em> about it? It being your problem with Kakuzu."

"I don't have any problem with Kakuzu." Kisame chuckled, Itachi blinking,

"Then _why_ in this green, wide world were you destroying his property?"

"He asked me to!" Kisame grinned, jumping up and calling over, "Right Kakuzu?"

"Yeah," The stitch-demon replied, "I need to move this barn so I can build a new one and since I'm not wasting money on a destruction crew, I asked Kisame."

"Hey, is that Itachi?" That was from Hidan who sat on the porch of the main house: holding little baby Miyu for Kisame while he worked. "Say hi to mommy and daddy!" The cat-demon smiled, waving Miyu's tiny hand as she happily giggled at the sight of the two.

"Come on then," Kakuzu interrupted the happy moment, replacing his helmet, "Back to work."

"Got it!" Kisame nodded before deciding to make use of a trick that Lord Sanbi had taught him. Since clouds were majorily water, a water-demon with enough chakra-control and magic skill could easily walk on them… If they got a good enough jumping start.

Kisame ran up to the barn, rushing up it and using the remaining structure to launch himself into the air. He climbed the clouds, collecting pieces of them as he went.

Itachi, needless to say, was very impressed at the sight. But Kakuzu murmured, "I'd take cover if I were you."

Itachi blinked, looking up to see a rapidly approaching blue speck. "Oh no!" He quickly jumped in the ravine. With a shout, Kisame landed with a massive explosion in the form of a large ball of water: creating a huge mushroom cloud of steam where the barn used to be. Digging himself out of a pile of debris, Kakuzu climbed over to the now empty area to start making measurements.

"Damn it…" Itachi whispered, shaking his head as he walked off.

* * *

><p>The sun clicked through the sky.<p>

_The second day. Three hours remain._

"Why the _hell_ didn't I think of this earlier?" Itachi smiled, shaking his head as he walked through the woods. "I could have saved _so_ much time and energy by just coming to see Zetsu! He's such a coward that he'll _have_ to need my help for _something_!"

Though he was a bit happier now, the weasel-demon's hair _was_ still starting to frizz out from stress. When he made it to Zetsu's cottage, he walked straight into the back area: expecting to see the plant-demon tending to the chickens or rabbits.

Instead, Zetsu was standing in front of a roaring, rampaging grizzly bear. The beast roared into Zetsu's face, the green-haired demon sliding underneath its knees and practically vanishing…

Until Zetsu landed a heavy kick into its back: sending it to the ground before he pulled its leg up to the small of its back, the bear groaning in pain.

"ZETSU?" Itachi asked, dumbfounded as he saw Zetsu, _regular_ Zetsu, taking down a bear that was three times his size.

Zetsu ignored him, however, stomping down on the bear's back before he seized its neck and _twisted _it to the side: the bear collapsing to the ground. Itachi sank to his knees, shaking his head, "How is this possible? Of all the days he could have finally decided to grow some balls, he chose _TODAY?_ What am I going to do..?"

Itachi slunk away, not noticing Zetsu helping the bear up and stating, "There, that was step 3 of my ursine rehab care: intense deep-tissue massage." The bear gave a pleasant growl, all her stress melting away.

* * *

><p>The park was mostly empty and calm, a few children playing in certain areas. And on a bench near the park's statue, Itachi was lying on his side: rubbing his shoulders and rocking back and forth, "its <em>fine<em>… Everything will be _fine…_ This day isn't over yet…" He then snapped, sitting up, "But it will be soon!"

The sun clicked through the sky.

"It'll all be over!" Itachi cried, a few tears dripping from his eyes and forming a small puddle on the ground, "My time in Adamant Falls! My advanced studies! My new family! Wait." He looked around, ears listening, "You're a good student. You can do this!"

"But what if I can't?" His reflection in the puddle covered his eyes.

"You can!" Itachi snapped, grinning madly, "You just need to keep it together boy! Keep it together!" The brunette glared at his reflection, eyes whipping around, until Sasuke's voice called over,

"Are you talking… to a _puddle_?"

Itachi didn't even hear him, his ears keying in on the sound of children's laughter. He turned, seeing the shadows of three kids laughing and jeering at him –

"Snap out of it!" Sasuke shouted, shaking Itachi out of his trance. "What is wrong with you? Have you been taking your medication?"

"What?" Itachi shook his head, looking around for his tormentors.

"Look, aniki," Sasuke sighed, helping his brother to sit up. "I'm really getting worried about you and this whole letter thing. Look." He held up the blue boxes from the bakery, "You've been so panicky today that you've forgotten about today's picnic. Why don't you go—"

"THE PICNIC!" Itachi grinned, eyes turning into small pinpricks of red and black, "I should hang out with my _friends_!" Thus, the weasel-demon snatched up the boxes and rushed off, Sasuke gulping,

"Glad you came to your… senses?"

* * *

><p><strong>( 1 ) Hooray for Majora's Mask references, even though I think that out of all the Zelda games, that one is the most overrated. <strong>

**Please review! **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	14. Time is of the Essence! Part 2

**A/N: Meep meep. I'm a jeep.**

* * *

><p>Uchiha Tobi bounced along the grass in a certain clearing in the woods, a basket in his hand. When he finally stopped, he took out a picnic blanket from the basket: a bushel of balloons floating up into the air.<p>

The other members of the group were there too: Kakuzu laying his head on Hidan's lap, Zetsu feeding Angel a carrot, Sasori carefully sitting down in a way that wouldn't mess up his outdoor wear while Deidara looked through the basket _he_ had brought, Ivan dozing off in the warmth of the sun while Alfred lapped at an ice cream cone, and Kisame…

"..And after sticking down the straps…" He hummed as he was changing Miyu's diaper, "Who's a clean baby? Huh?" Miyu mewled, trying to touch Kisame's smiling face with her chubby little fingers.

"Hey Kisame," Kakuzu smirked, "Care to join us here back in the land of manhood?"

"As long as I have this adorable bundle in my hands, I am immune to all insults!" Kisame smiled, kissing Miyu on the forehead: the baby giving a whine.

"Oh no!" Deidara gasped, "_Please _tell me that I did not forget the plates!" The bird-demon looked through his basket again, "I did! I _completely_ forgot them! Of all the things that could happen, this is the WORST. POSSIBLE. THING!" The blonde used his magic to summon up a chaise-longue and fell onto it in a faint.

At least until he felt everyone staring at him. "What, un?" He asked in a pout, "You didn't expect me to lie on the ground, did you?" Everyone shook their heads, going back to what they were doing. Kisame laid himself out on the grass, Miyu on his chest as they sat in the sunlight.

Abruptly, a box was dropped behind his head, Kisame looking up and shouting, "Holy shit!" As he saw Itachi leering down at him, teeth bared eyes and ears twitching, and his hair a mess. Everyone shared the sentiment, backing up a bit as Itachi walked forward.

"Um…" Alfred blinked, Hidan asking,

"You okay?"

"No!" Itachi shouted, "I am _not_ alright!"

"Whoa, wait a minute." Kisame stood to his feet, leaving Miyu to wriggle around on the blanket, "Is anyone messing with you? Tell me the name and they'll be six feet under in twenty seconds flat." Itachi shook his head,

"No, it's nothing like that."

"Then what is causing you so much worry?" Ivan asked. Itachi gave a heavy sigh before he explained,

"This has to be the worst day of my life! My letter to Rokubi-sama is almost overdue! And I haven't written down anything about Unity!"

"Phew!" Was everyone's collective sigh of relief, Zetsu smiling,

"Thank goodness. I thought something was actually wrong!"

"Ex_cuse_ me?" Itachi flinched, teleporting between Kisame and Ivan, "Something _IS_ wrong here!" He teleported to Deidara's chaise-longue, grabbing the blonde's cheeks, "If I don't turn in that letter on time, I'll be _TARDY!_"

The first person to laugh was Kakuzu, but soon everyone was chuckling much to Itachi's dismay. The brunette blushed, snapping,

"Don't laugh at me. Don't you laugh at me!"

"Hey dude," Alfred wrapped an arm around the weasel-demon's shoulder and spoke in a reassuring tone, "You got to loosen up a bit. Sit down, have an ice cream cone or two!" Kisame nodded,

"Yeah, you're getting worked up over nothing."

"THIS ISN'T NOTHING!" Itachi panicked, "This is _EVERYTHING_! I need you all to come up with a problem or crisis I can solve before sunset! For gods' sakes," He pulled at his hair, "My whole life depends on this!" The air was silent for all of a second before Tobi giggled,

"Itachi, see, you can be really funny when you try!"

"Seriously now," Sasori patted an empty spot on the blanket, "Take a seat and stop stressing out. You're ruining your hair."

"Ugh..!" Itachi fumed, walking away, "UGH! You just DON'T get it!" He broke into a swift run, teleporting in a red flash.

"I hope he will be alright…" Ivan hummed.

"Yeah…" Kisame scratched the back of his head, "I've never seen him so upset before."

"I know, right?" Deidara laughed, "What a drama-queen, un!" Everyone looked at him with the single consensus being summed up in Hidan's,

"Really Deidara? Really?"

* * *

><p>The sun clicked through the sky.<p>

_The second day. Two hours remain._

Inside the library, the lights had all been turned off if not shattered all together. "Clock is ticking 'Tachi…" Itachi's voice drifted throughout the space. Then, there on the bed, Itachi was staring the moving sun down through the window. "Clock… Is… TICKING!"

His hair had gotten worse and his skin was taking on a sickly sheen of sweat, his ears twitching as he jumped off and paced the floor, "I'm not being late… I WON'T be late! Even if it means that I have to kill someone!"

He then had a thought. A small smile appeared on his face as he rushed over to the closet and pulled out a dusty, heavy chest. "If I can't find a trouble…" He laughed as he opened it up, "Then I make a trouble!" **( 1 )**

* * *

><p>"Pass it over here!" In the schoolyard, the Chakra-Mark Musketeers were playing with a multi-colored ball that Kakashi had found in the school storage-sheds. Hun happily bounced the ball on his head before passing it to Ongakuhana.<p>

A robin chirped, flying to rest in its nest in the bushes. Abruptly, Itachi poked his head out, giggling like a madman before he noticed the kids across the way.

Kira tossed the ball to Alexandr, the Baba Yaga kicking it towards Mizuki. However, before the otter-demon could get it, it rolled to a stop.

Then it twitched.

Then spasmed.

Before it grew and grew, swelling until it exploded in a cloud of red magic: revealing a manic, frizzy-haired, wide-eyed weasel-demon.

"_Hello_ children…!" Itachi rasped out, ears twitching.

"Okaa-san?" Mizuki blinked, sensing that something was off with is mother-figure. But Kiro only went through the paces,

"Konbanwa Itachi. How are—"

"Grrr-eat!" He took a step towards the kids, "Just… _great_. You all look like you're doing _great_ too!" The children slowly began to back up as Itachi stalked towards them. "Just a bunch of Unified friends who don't need the help of _this_ agent of Unity!"

"I'm scared." Kira meeped, Ongakuhana taking her hand,

"Me too."

Itachi rubbed at the bags forming underneath his eyes before he reached into his pocket and pulled out…

A doll. A raggedy, wooden doll with red yarn hair. "This! Is my Lucy Librarian doll! She was my _favorite_ toy when _I_ was growing up! And now, I want _you guys_ to have her!" The kids wearily regarded the old, worn toy as it floated towards them.

"Sarcasm…" Alexandr blinked as his mind failed to come up with a response to the doll, "Failing me."

"She's… great, ano sa?" Saso commented, trying to look at the doll's few and far between good attributes. Finally, Kire tilted his head,

"I really like her… hair?" Itachi nodded, seizing Mizuki's hand,

"She even comes with her own reference book!" He slid the tiny book into the otter-demon's hand, "For all of your reading and researching adventures!"

"I'm _still_ scared." Kira blinked, Ongakuhana hiding the cat-demon behind her,

"Me too."

"Itachi," Hun walked over, "In all seriousness, you okay?"

"I really… like her… hair?" Kire winced. Itachi decided to go in for the kill,

"And such a _big_ group of friends can't find a way to share this _one, amazing_ doll! Can you? I mean I'd **hate to cause a rift between you all!**" His voice took on a sinister tone at that moment before he asked, "Who wants her first?"

"Saso!" Kiro immediately pushed the blonde up front, "You like dolls! _You_ take her!"

"Oh no, ano sa!" Saso furiously shook his head, "Kire, _you_ play with him. You liked her hair _so_ much!"

"Bull!" Kire snapped, his mother's tendencies coming out, "There's no way in hell!" That caused a bit of a scuffle among the children, Itachi's eyes whipped from left to right: his mind racing,

'_What do I do? What do I do? This isn't working – Why isn't this working?'_

**Want it… **

'_Wait. What was that?'_

**Need it… **

**Want it… NEED IT!**

Itachi didn't know who was talking to him, but he knew that they had a good idea. So, quickly remembering what he needed to, Itachi held up his hands, "Oh-ho-ho! You all are going to like Lucy… You're going to _love_ Lucy… In fact," He moved his hands in the slow, hypnotic movements that spelled out the kanji for 'love'. "You're going to want her more than you wanted _anything _in your tiny little lives!"

The kids stopped their squabbling just as Itachi finished the spell. A slither of pink chakra whipped forth from Itachi and went into the doll: causing it to pulse with a warm glow. The kids slowly walked toward the doll and looked at it again.

The effect was imminent.

"I _want_ it…" Ongakuhana smiled, her eyes glazing over in pink. Alexandr shoved her aside, whispering as his eyes glazed over,

"I _need_ it." The snowy-haired boy was pushed away by Kire who exclaimed,

"I _LOVE_ her freaking hair!"

The children quickly glanced at each other before they all charged towards the toy: biting and scratching at each other as they tried to get to Lucy.

"_The 'Want it, Need it' Spell…"_ Itachi sang with a smile, _"It works every time!"_ He then walked over, stating in triumphance, "Okay you guys, break it up! There's a lesson to be learned here about—"

He tried to get near the fighting group, just to be pushed away. "Come on guys…" He cleared his throat before waving his hands, trying to get everyone's attention. "We're all friends here! We need to share!"

Kire popped his head out of the fight, snapping, "No way in hell!"

"She's _MINE_!" Hun barked.

"For gods' sakes!" Itachi groaned before jumping into the fray, trying to get the doll away from the children. However, he was soon flung away into the rickshaw of Dim Sum, Kakuzu and Hidan's oldest son. The quiet stitch-demon helped Itachi to his feet, Itachi smiling,

"Oh Dim Sum, thank goodness! Look, I need you to help me get that doll away from the children. Now!" Dim Sum looked over at the kids through his roughly cut bangs before he nodded,

"Mm.", and slowly walked over. He simply stuck a powerful arm into the fray and successfully pulled Lucy out: her body still pulsing.

"Thank you _so_ much!" Itachi gave a relieved sigh, "Now, just give her to me." Dim Sum rushed away, shaking his head,

"Mm-mm.", his eyes glazed over in pink.

"Fuck me!" Itachi shouted, slapping his palm against his forehead. And before he could even try to follow him, the kids gave chase; Hun leading the charge.

"**Give her back!"** The hell-dog barked as they ran around. They rushed past Tsunade, the buxom mayor about to set out a long-chair for a day out in the sun when the chaos passed them.

"What's everyone going on about?" Tsunade asked. Just then, a dog-demon named Kiba ran up a nearby hill, explaining,

"They're fighting over that doll!", before his eyes glazed over.

"That incredible…" Iruka sighed with pink eyes, "_Amazing_ doll~!" Soon enough, demons from all over were rushing into the park, all trying to get to Lucy: fighting to the point of breaking bones and shedding blood.

Itachi desperately tried to use his magic to grab Lucy, gritting his teeth, "Can't… get… through…" Dim Sum was managing to keep the doll away for the most part. But then Tsunade snatched it away, laughing,

"_Gimme!_"

The blonde demoness rushed off, the doll clutched tightly in her hands. Then, a large cracking noise echoed through the air: the other demons and creatures being sent flying before Dim Sum frowned, "Mm-mm.", and chased after Tsunade.

As hundreds of demons chased after the beckoning doll, Itachi shook his head, whispering, "Dear gods, what have I done?"

* * *

><p>Kakuzu had been dozing off on Hidan's lap, all too comfortable, when the sound of a fight washed over his ears. "The hell?" He asked, getting up. Hidan heard it too,<p>

"Do you guys hear that?" They all jolted as the ground began shaking. Then, Zetsu had to yank Tobi out of the way before he was trampled by the crowds of demons who were chasing Tsunade and the doll.

"What the _hell_ is going on here?" Kisame asked, trying to calm Miyu down, the commotion causing her to start crying. Suddenly, a flying demon ripped Lucy away from Tsunade's hands. They lost it soon after when a plume of orange fire from Naruto singed their backside.

Lucy landed on the ground, Alfred turning towards it, his eyes about to glaze over –

"NO!" Itachi turned the Trickster Spirit's head, "Don't look at it!"

"Don't look at _what_, un?" Deidara asked, Itachi explaining as everyone came close,

"My Lucy Librarian doll! I enchanted her and now everyone's fighting tooth and claw over her!"

"What sort of spell," Ivan asked, narrowly avoiding two feuding demonesses, "Could cause such chaos?"

"More importantly," Zetsu asked, "Why would you enchant a doll?"

"Don't you judge me!" Itachi snapped, "I needed to do _something_! I have to have something to write to Rokubi-sama and if I thought that if I couldn't _find_ any trouble, I would _make_ a trouble!" A pitiful cry crawled up from his throat, "This day's almost over!"

Kisame looked towards the mountains, shaking his head, "Not _almost_."

Indeed, just as a shout of pain tore through the air, the sun went to rest behind the mountains: signaling the end of the day.

"No…" Itachi sobbed, burying his face into his palms and sinking to his knees.

All seemed dark. All seemed lost. Then…

"UCHIHA ITACHI!" Everyone looked up to see the graceful form of Rokubi's weasel-form. The weasel-deity glared at the sight of all the bedlam below, electricity coursing around him.

"Oh damn…" Hidan gulped at how angry the Celestial looked. Rokubi closed his eyes, the electricity taking on a simple blue hue before it sank down into the pandemonium.

It took all of a second for the fighting to finally cease, everyone involved looking around to see what the hell they had just been doing. Tsunade found herself grappling with a blonde pixie with golden, crossed-eyes and a bubble-designed magic-mark.

Lucy fell on the ground, everyone looking at her before Tsunade walked away, blushing in embarrassment. The others slowly cleared out, apologizing if they had hurt anyone.

Except for Dim Sum who, after everyone had gone, grabbed the doll and slowly walked off. The blue glow around Rokubi's frame, dissipated before he stared down at Itachi and said five simple words:

"Meet me in the library."

Before flying off. It took a few moments for everything to calm down, but Itachi slowly stood to his feet: tears dripping from his eyes.

"Itachi…" Kisame moved to help his lover, but Itachi shook his head: only kissing the shark-demon briefly before he kissed Miyu's cheek. Then he gave a shaky sigh,

"Good-bye everyone. And thank you for all that you've done for me."

"Whoa, wait a minute!" Hidan tried to figure out what was going on, but Itachi only walked away. Not even turning, he waved back,

"If you would be so kind to visit… I'll be back in Magic Camp… In Konoha."

"Magic Camp?" Deidara asked, Ivan adding,

"Konoha?" At that moment, the kids all walked over: Mizuki going up to ask his father,

"We're never going to see Okaa-san again?" Kisame shook his head,

"No… No, this isn't happening. I'm _not_ allowing this to!"

"Of all the worst things that could happen," Sasori began, "This is the WORST!"

"POSSIBLE!" Deidara added before they finished,

"THING!"

"Oh, for gods' sakes!" Kakuzu frowned at the fashionistos' over-dramatics.

"What?" Sasori frowned, "This time it was actually context appropriate!"

* * *

><p>"Damn it aniki…" Sasuke whispered as he hid behind a bookshelf in the library. The younger Uchiha was quietly watching as Itachi was begging and pleading his case to Rokubi, the weasel-deity's face impassive.<p>

"I'm _so_ sorry Rokubi-sama…" Itachi sobbed, "I know that I'm supposed to send you a letter on Unity and the workings of Terram _every_ week. But I failed…"

"Itachi, I don't give a _damn_ about the deadline or whatever!" Rokubi snapped. Itachi was confused,

"What? I don't understand…"

"Itachi," Rokubi kneeled down to his student's level, "That spell that you used… The 'Want It, Need It' Spell. That is highly prohibited magic: no one is supposed to even _know_ of its existence, let alone _cast_ it!"

Rokubi sighed as he stood, clearing his throat before he explained, "That spell was created by Eris to…" He shook his head, "Try and steal Sanbi from me." He shivered as, just then, he could have sworn he heard Eris's taunting voice singing,

"_**Some magic spells should have never been devised…**_

_**This one in particular will leave you traumatized.**_

_**If you need an example, I'm the perfect paradigm…**_

_**The Want it, Need it spell, works every time…" ( 2 )**_

In order to get such thoughts out of his head, how Sanbi had almost _killed_ him while under that curse's influence, Rokubi shook his head and tried to give a reassuring smile to the weasel-demon in the room, "Besides, you are the most wonderful student anyone could ask for. I don't need a letter from you every week to realize that."

Before Itachi could say anything, the door to the library burst open: the group falling all over themselves: Sasori on the bottom yelping, "MY SPINE!"

"SCREW YOUR SPINE!" Kisame yelled as he rushed over to Itachi's side, Mizuki and Miyu with him, "Rokubi-sama, _please_, I beseech you: don't send the mother of my children away!"

"This mess isn't his fault!" Deidara stated, Zetsu explaining,

"We knew that Itachi was upset but not to such an extent!"

"And when he was storming off like he was," Ivan added, "We were not expecting such a messy chain of events, da?"

"As good friends…" Tobi whined, "We should have been there for him."

Rokubi looked around at everyone in the room, desperate not to laugh at their overreactions, but feeling his heart warmed at the sight of how much they cared for one another. Then, a thought clicked in his mind.

"Alright. I will forget Itachi's punishment…" He walked around the room, looking at some of the books on the shelves, "On _one_ condition."

"ANYTHING!" The demons in the room pleaded. Rokubi then stated,

"You all have different Celestials who you pray to, right?" When everyone nodded, he continued, "I will ask you _all_ to write letters to your respective Celestials about lessons on Unity and the workings of Terram… When, and ONLY when you happen upon them." He ended this statement with a wink towards Itachi, before he walked outside to the balcony.

"Rokubi-sama, wait!" Itachi called out as he followed, "How did you know about my troubles?" Rokubi chuckled as he allowed himself to shift forms,

"You have a _very_ caring brother, Itachi."

"Thank you!" Sasuke's voice called out from inside. But Rokubi shook his head with a smile,

"Now, if you all will excuse me, I should head back to Konoha and tell the other Celestials that they should expect some coming mail." Everyone walked out just in time to see Rokubi leap into the sky, disappearing in lightning-bolt.

"Well…" Kakuzu called over to Sasuke, "Get over her scaly, we have a letter to write."

"Stop calling me—Ugh!" Sasuke rolled his eyes and walked in to get the scroll-paper and brushes ready. But before he even started writing, he found himself wrapped into a hug.

"Thank you otouto." Itachi whispered before he went to go see Miyu for the first time that day.

* * *

><p><strong>( 1 ) By the way, that typo was intended. Just imagine how funny it would be to hear Itachi saying that... <strong>

**( 2 ) The context for this update... Some bronies say that the episode that this update is based on ('Lesson Zero') reflects that the villain Discord isn't actually defeated and is still causing chaos. So, for Eris here to still be tormenting Itachi from the grave somewhat reflects that. Oh, and for a good song go on YouTube and listen to 'Want It, Need It' the MIU cover. Very context appropriate. **

**Yeah, this week's update is in and I'm going to go watch some yaoi (just finished downloading Sensitive Pornograph and I'm so stoked!). Thanks for reading, please review! **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	15. The Moon God Cometh Part 1

**A/N: **

**Hey guys! Here's an update that I know a lot of people have been waiting for. But I'm not going to say anythign about. I _will_ however talk about this story for a bit. Remember how the first season of MLP:FiM was so all over the place in chronological terms so people had to make a new time-line that I used to make teh story more spontaneous? **

**Well, Hasbro kind of fucked me over in that department for season two because they put all the episodes in by seasonal change so I basically have to go in the same order as they did. But, for the sake of not making this fic too repetitive, I will be doing extra chapters every so often. Okay, now that _that's_ done... **

**Thanks to elricosis, Waterbomb22, KanameAngel, and FMJ26 for reviewing!**

**Playlist for this update: **

'**Nightmare Night' by Glaze (WoodenToaster) and MicTheMicrophone (Search for it on YouTube, you'll find it.)**

* * *

><p>Feet clad in tabi socks and ebony wood sandals paced the Adamant Fall Library's polished wooden floors. Finally, with a rustle from his black, silk kimono, Sasuke stopped and called up the stairs, "Damn it aniki! Why is it taking you so long to get dressed? We're going to be late for Night of Fright!"<p>

The younger Uchiha brother was dressed in a formal black kimono and had a long black wig on that was tied in a loose pony-tail. He was hard-pressed to find something scary to dress up in on this night, so he went with some_one_ imposing: his father.

"Hold on a minute!" Itachi's voice called down, "Dressing up fussy babies is not an easy task!" Then, a few moments later, the door to Itachi's bedroom opened. Sasuke stood dumbfounded as Itachi _hopped_ down the stairs dressed in a large kangaroo-costume with a burgundy and white cloak, a pink hat decorated with flower petals, and bells dangling on the tail.

Miyu was struggling not to dose off, and she was confused: wasn't night-time sleepy time? Why did her mommy wake her up and dress her up like they were going to play?

Sasuke failed to hold back a chuckle as he saw his niece dressed up in a baby kangaroo costume and sitting in the pouch of Itachi's costume. As the weasel-demon hopped by, Sasuke had to ask, "Are you..?"

"Yes?" Itachi smiled, standing so Sasuke could see all the hard work he put into his costume. But the dragon only asked,

"That one weird clown from the traveling circus that stops by?"

"What the-?" Itachi sputtered before frowning, "I'm the great Kanga-Mage!"

Sasuke shook his head.

"Mother of prenatal care and pediatric spells?" Itachi offered.

Sasuke blinked.

"Ugh!" Itachi face-palmed, "Did you even _read_ that book I gave you on Ancient Powerful Mystics?"

"Uh, well I was meaning too…" Sasuke cleared his throat, trying to get out of the awkward situation…

There was a booming, incessant knock at the door. "Well, look at that!" Sasuke offered, rushing downstairs, "I've got it!"

Sasuke quickly made his way to the front door, opening it up just to be nearly scared out of his costume by a group of children chiming out, "Night of Fright! Such a sight! Give us something sweet this night!"

"Freaking kids…" Sasuke growled, steam floating up from his nostrils when he saw that Naruto wasn't on chaperone duty for this group. As Sasuke walked away to get the bowl of sweets set aside for candy-gatherers, Itachi walked over and smiled,

"Hello you guys."

"Itachi!" They all tried to crowd around the demon who brought story-time back to their town, only stopping when they noticed Miyu nodding off. Itachi looked at the kids, commenting,

"Wonderful costumes, I see that all that time in arts and crafts wasn't wasted!" The kids smiled from the praise, some of them blushing as Itachi looked behind them and bowed, "Happy Night of Fright Obaa-san." However, the old stitch-demoness who was being carried around by Hidan's pet panther Aya only frowned,

"I should have been in bed four _hours_ ago! But Kakuzu pleaded with me, 'Please grandmother, take some of the town's kids candy-gathering while I try and make some money'. So _here_ I am!" Itachi shook his head and took the candy bowl out of Sasuke's hands, giving each child a generous handful.

Before anyone could notice, a figure jumped over the other children and landed in a delicate spin. It was Alexandr, the small Baba Yaga dressed in a nutcracker-costume. He simply held out his bag and asked, "Candy please." Itachi shook his head,

"Okay, this time I'll let it slide that you didn't say the chant." He placed some candy in the snowy-haired boy's bag, "This is your first Night of Fright out of Glaciu, isn't it?" Alexandr shook his head,

"Nyet… Baba Yagas in Glaciu do not celebrate Night of Fright. It is too cold." Eyes that glimmered like the northern lights of Glaciu looked up, "This is my first Night of Fright _ever_."

"Ba-caw!" Tobi shot through the group of children, the joy-demon dressed like a chicken, "Enough chit-chat! Time is candy!" Itachi shook his head at his cousin's antics, especially since he had started pecking around on the ground.

"Tobi," He sighed, "Aren't you a bit _old_ for this?"

"Too old for free candy?" Tobi squawked before pouting, "_Never…"_

"Don't try to reason with him aniki…" Sasuke silently warned, Itachi tossing a candy-bar into the joy-demon's bag. But afterwards, the weasel-demon tapped his foot and silently waved his hand towards himself. Tobi had found himself entranced by his candy before he looked over and smiled,

"Bunny!", before he grabbed some more candy from the bowl and ran off.

"A BUNNY?" Itachi snapped after the children had left. Sasuke had decided it was high-time to leave so they locked up after themselves and then Itachi continued, "Look at the stitching on this cloak! The fur-fibers on the main costume _alone_ took forever!"

"Calm down…" Sasuke smirked as he walked up ahead, "Come on aniki, _hop_ to it!" Itachi's glare could have melted ice.

* * *

><p>The whole town of Adamant Falls had been decorated to the nine in dark-toned decorations, scary-masks, and memorabilia that celebrated the moon in reverence to Night of Fright: a holiday for celebrating the moon and the moon-god Tsukuyomi.<p>

"The great Kanga-Mage is one of the most important Mystics in Terram's history!" Itachi groaned and fumed, now accompanied by Sasuke, who was carrying a massive bowl of candy that Kisame, dressed in the armor of a knight, kept eating from.

Dim Sum walked by dressed as a vampire and pulling a large rickshaw that was serving as a hay-stack ride for the night, creatures cheering from the fun they were having.

"Her spells are practically _countless_!" Itachi went on as they passed the stage that had been set up in the center of town. Creatures were dancing and carrying on to the musical-stylings of the vampire music troupe that had played at the Shooting Star Ball the previous year and the position of guitarist was being filled, at least for tonight, by the town time-lord dressed as a scarecrow.

"Maybe this town needs a study-group on history…" Itachi mused, smiling, "I'm sure _that_ would be a success, right you two?"

"Mm-hm!" Sasuke and Kisame nodded, still stuffing themselves with candy until Sasuke bumped into his brother, losing some of his hold.

"Oh look, we're here." Itachi noticed before asking, "Should we get something to eat…" He looked at the two _still_ gorging on candy, "You two seem well ahead of that." He decided to get a hot-chocolate from a stand being managed by two of Kakuzu and Hidan's daughters, maybe pick up a small cake from Mr. and Mrs. Cake…

"Itachi!" Well, there went that plan. Tobi rushed over, followed by the main group of children. "Look at our stash! Lookie-lookie!" Itachi barely spared a glance to Tobi's sugar-high-influenced state, but he did look at the children's costumes. Mizuki was dressed up as a judge, Hun as a horned beast, Kiro was a businessman, Kire looked like he belonged in an eighties music video (bright colors and hair teased-up the wazoo), Kira was a porcelain doll in a beautiful velvet dress, Ongakuhana was a pop-diva, Saso was dressed as a marionette puppet, and Alexandr had joined up with them somewhere along the way.

"Saso, where are your parents?" Kisame asked the blonde child, "I would have expected them to be out showing off some spectacular outfits." Saso only sighed,

"They exhausted themselves making costumes and make-up for Night of Fright, ano sa."

* * *

><p>"My hands~!" Sasori groaned as he lay out on the floor of GlazeFeather Boutique, Deidara whining,<p>

"I can't feel my fingers, un!"

* * *

><p>While Kisame and Itachi were still talking to the children, they didn't notice the ghostly figure coming towards them until a loud thunderclap caused Tobi to shriek and run away, the children following his example.<p>

"Bwa-ha-ha!" The 'ghost' laughed, slowly shifting into the form of the Trickster Spirit Alfred. Kisame was not amused, especially since the shock had caused Miyu to start crying.

"Damn it Alfred, what the hell?" The blonde Trickster struggled to stifle his laughs long enough to explain,

"Sorry, sorry… Night of Fright is seriously the best night of the year for Tricksters: a free pass to pull a night's worth of pranks!"

"Pranks?" Itachi frowned, "Look at what you did to Sasuke!" The dragon youth was desperately trying to cough out a piece of candy that had gone into the wrong pipe. But as soon as Kisame gave him a swift smack to the back, he was fine.

"Whoops, sorry there Sas…" Alfred's attention was immediately taken elsewhere when he saw another group, "Gotta go!" He quickly stated before shifting into a snake and slithering away. While Itachi tried to get Miyu to calm down, Kisame helped Sasuke to his feet and they were on their way.

* * *

><p>The sound of rushing water could be heard as Zabuza, dressed as a mummy, dipped his head into the large basin that was being used for bobbing apples. When he came back up with one, Haku (dressed as a witch) cheered before a rock-and-rolling Raiga tried his hand at it.<p>

"Ne… Kakuzu!" Kisame called out to the stitch-demon who was dressed as a lion.

"Hey, is that Kisame and Itachi?" Hidan asked, the cat-demon dressed up as a Raggedy-Ann doll. "Hey, Happy Night of Fright! Come on over!"

"Yes, come over…" Kakuzu nodded, "Bob for an apple… Buy something!"

"Shut up 'Kuzu…" Hidan frowned before smiling, "Nice costume!"

"Thanks." Sasuke smirked, "I dressed up as my dad." Kisame had to nudge the younger Uchiha's shoulder and explain,

"He was talking to Itachi."

"Oh yeah…" Kakuzu walked over, "With all those flowers and those big feet, you make a great rabbit."

"Oh, come _on_!" Itachi groaned, "What kind of rabbit has a pouch? I mean, really?" They all laughed (except Itachi), afterwards Hidan offered,

"Come on. You guys should bob for an apple or peach while you're here." Over at the basin, just as Naruto waved at the others and was about to dip his halo-topped head in, a pixie with golden hair, golden crossed-eyes, and a bubble magic-mark all dressed up as a giant muffin popped her head out of the water, smiling,

"I think I got one!" She pulled with her teeth until she got something… the stopper for the basin. All the water immediately began rushing out, the pixie frowning at her mistake. Sasuke gave a quick roll of his eyes,

"So much for that…"

* * *

><p>After they helped fill the basin back up, everyone had gathered around the stage in the middle of town: Tsunade was giving a special Night of Fright address. The blonde demoness wasn't leaving <em>anything<em> to the imagination in her skimpy Valkyrie costume: bust shifting with every movement. "Thank you all. And how is everyone enjoying this year's Night of Fright!" The audience cheered and whooped (a lot of those whoops simply waiting for Tsunade to slip out of her dress).

"Now, all of our little candy-gatherers," Tsunade addressed the children with their baskets full of candy, "Should go and see our friend Ivan so you can hear the legend of…" She gave a smirk, "_The Dark Lord Tsukuyomi~!_ Ah hah ha!" Sasuke only scoffed, whispering into Itachi's ear,

"That scary voice might work better if she wasn't dressed up as She-Ra, Princess of Cleavage." Nevertheless, Tsunade snapped her fingers. Instantly, there was a savage wolf-howl from all around as a cloud of glowing blue smoke was let out onto the stage.

Under the smoke, a large, broad figure stalked through. It was soon revealed to be Ivan, the large Baba Yaga taking the guise of a werewolf this evening. His lavender eyes glowed in the dim lighting as he growled and smirked, "Follow me, and you shall see… The frightening tale of _Tsukuyomi!"_ He bounded off, leaving a trail of smoke for everyone to follow.

* * *

><p>A bolt of lightning cracked through the skies as the children of Adamant Falls followed Ivan into the Yonko Forests where a large, imposing statue of Tsukuyomi stood. "Listen close young ones far and near," Ivan smiled, circling the statue as if in some arcane ritual, "To learn now how you got your fears…"<p>

The kids were shivering as the statue's fierce eyes glared down at them, sword in hand and ready to strike. "On the Night of Fright, so dark, so scary…" He reached into his ragged wolf-cloak and pulled out a bottle of glowing blue vodka. He chugged some down, spitting the majority out to form a heavy cloud of blue fog. The fog floated along the ground until it took the shape of the Tsukuyomi statue… Only _this_ Tsukuyomi stalked towards the children in the area, sword at the ready and eyes blazing. "Where Tsukuyomi makes you wary…"

The kids shrieked as Tsukuyomi charged at them, disappearing in an explosion that sent fog everywhere. The kids all tried to find each other, getting lost and confused due to the smoke. But Ivan's voice still spoke on, "Every year, we don a disguise…" Kira screamed as Tsukuyomi's eyes glared at her: sharp teeth gnashing, "To save ourselves from his searching eyes!" However, it turned out to just be Ivan chuckling as he looked for the rest of the children.

Kire and Saso bolted away, trying to get out of the fog. But they only crashed into the statue, Ivan's voice still speaking, "For Tsukuyomi, he is wanting _one_ thing…" Upon seeing the statue, the two boys slowly backed up until they hit Tobi: all three of them screaming and running away. "To gobble down children in one, fell _swing_!" The Baba Yaga downed some more vodka, spitting it out into the sky. The smoky version of Tsukuyomi surged down: looking around for a target, "He is searching the skies with a hungry glare… If he sees no one…" The illusion scoffed as he couldn't recognize any children, "He will journey elsewhere." The whispy vision slowly climbed up into the air, Ivan finishing his tale, "If he arrives and all is clear… Our souls shall be safe for one more year!"

The vision then exploded into a shimmering mist.

Ivan looked around at the frightened faces, satisfied with his story telling. But he was surprised when he felt a tug on his cloak, looking down to see Alexandr. "If we are wearing the costumes to stop Tsukuyomi from eating us…" The small Baba Yaga asked, "Then why must we give him some of our candy?"

"Ah…" Ivan smiled, walking towards the middle of the clearing. "A perfect question…" He rasped, voice suddenly hoarse as he lowered his head, "For this story to end. Tsukuyomi, we should not offend…" Everyone watched as he abruptly slumped over, as if he had gone into some sort of trance.

"Ivan..?" Kisame asked with a gulp. But the cream-haired male rasped on,

"Offer him a sacrifice or _two…_ So he shall not be returning… To come… _eat…_" He quickly turned around, eyes and mouth glowing, "_YOU!"_

"Holy shit!" Sasuke yelped as he nearly pissed his pants, the children all screaming before Tobi panicked,

"Everybody, hurry up! Drop some candy so we can get the _hell _out of here!" Tobi and the kids dropped some of their candy, hoping to get out of there before things got worse.

However, a cold wind blew through the area: Tobi fearfully looking up towards the sky. Kisame helped Ivan up, the Baba Yaga wiping his mouth and eyes from the vodka he had used for his effects.

"Is this another trick?" Kisame asked, flinching when Ian slowly shook his head,

"Nyet my friend…" The clouds in the night sky took on a dark hue as they slowly formed together to form a thick blanket over the land: the moon being the only thing to break through. Then, all went silent. It was almost as if all the sounds, natural and otherwise, had been sucked away.

Except… For the soft sounds of hoof beats in the distance…

That slowly got louder…

Everyone silently watched, some of the children hiding behind the adults and expecting the worst. Then, breaking through a wall of fog, they saw it.

It was a dark, ominous figure riding down from the moon on the back of a skeletal horse with the wings of a bat. They themselves were obscured from sight because of their dark cloak and menacing-looking skeleton mask. The beast's mighty wings caused gusts of wind to whip up with every flap: its eye-sockets filled with blue fire.

"What is it, ano sa?" Saso screamed, Kira shaking her head and crying,

"I want to go home~!" Itachi couldn't do anything but hold the children close to him, waiting for this mysterious figment to pass. However, the horse stopped for a moment, flapping in mid-air for a moment. When Itachi tried to get a closer look, he was blocked by Tobi jumping up and screaming, bloody-murder,

"IT'S THE DARK LORD TSUKUYOMI! RUN! RUN!" The children didn't need to be told twice, some of them even tripping over themselves. Hell, Ivan had to help some of them get to their feet as he helped them all get to safety.

Lightning crashed in the heavens, the figure's eyes glowing through his mask.

* * *

><p>In the center of town, everyone was still partying and having fun. But the festivities were halted when the group of children and a few adults rushed in, screaming and panicking.<p>

"What the hell…" Hidan began but was distracted upon looking up and seeing the dark clouds and the skeletal winged horse landing in the town's center. It gave a hoarse shriek, shaking its head as its rider dismounted.

Everyone was quiet, even Kisame and Itachi as they rushed into the scene. Just then, the figure removed his mask: revealing moon-pale skin and allowing his white, purple, and black hair to cascade down his face and dance in the air via his pony-tail.

He smiled as he looked around, removing his cloak to reveal a kimono decorated as the night sky. Everyone in the vicinity, man, woman, child, they all cowered in the face in the powerful being in their midst. But one glance at his face and Itachi smiled,

"The moon-god Tsukuyomi!" However, when he tried to walk over, Kisame held him back, Sasuke telling him to shush.

However, Tsukuyomi didn't notice the tense air that things had taken. Instead, in his mind he was rejoicing. _'So many demons… I haven't had such an audience in _SO_ long! I must take advantage of this opportunity…'_ He strolled forward, a swarm of bats flying past him.

Iruka, dressed as a mermaid ('Mer _man_, damn it!') was cowering, covering his head, when he felt an intense gaze on his person. He looked up, meeting Tsukuyomi's piercing eyes. "Ah!" The dolphin-demon yelped, covering his head.

Now, Tsukuyomi had been preparing for this night since he had been freed from his prison, so he was sure that his speech was going to lift everyone's spirits.

…There was just _one_ thing wrong with his hopes, however.

Tsukuyomi smiled before stating for one and all to hear, _**"CITIZENS OF ADAMANT FALLS!"**_

Alfred desperately clung to the roof-top he was hiding behind as the sound-waves from Tsukuyomi's voice rippled through the area, mouthing out, 'Holy shit!'

"_**WE HAVE GRACED YOUR TINY VILLAGE,"**_ Tsukuyomi added, Kakuzu whispering to Hidan,

"Good Gobi, _why_ is he talking in third-person?" Luckily, Tsukuyomi didn't hear, continuing,

"_**SO THAT YOU MAY BEHOLD THE REAL! GOD! OF THE NIGHT..!"**_ The announcement echoed, Tsukuyomi not even waiting before he strolled through the crowds, _**"A BEING OF NIGHTMARES NO LONGER!"**_

Two demonesses ran away as Tsukuyomi's horse began devouring the fares of their candy-apple stand.

"_**BUT INSTEAD A BENEVOLENT FIGURE WHO DESIRES YOUR LOVE AND ADMIRATION!"**_ It was kind of sad how, while he was saying those words, everyone in the area was too busy backing away from him. _**"TOGETHER! WE SHALL TURN THIS DISMAL CELEBRATION INTO A BRIGHT! AND NOBLE FEAST..!"**_

A crack of lightning pierced the skies, Tobi immediately shrieking, "Did you all hear that? The Dark Lord Tsukuyomi is going to feast on our souls!" The children all screamed, following Tobi as they ran off in a panic. At the sight, Tsukuyomi shook his head. He gently reached towards them, gently speaking,

"Wait… Wha? No, wait! No, children and chicken-clad sir! Thou hast misunderstood our speech! You no longer have reason to fear us! Screams of delight are what this moon-god desires! Not screams of terror!" When he ended that statement, Tsukuyomi stomped his foot into the ground: creating a crater that caused those near him to whimper in fear.

Tsukuyomi whipped his head towards Tsunade, nodding to himself. "Fair Mayor!" He called out to her, the blonde shaking in her golden sandals as he walked over, "Your moon-god hath arrived! Come, alloweth me to kiss thy beautiful hand!"

"Oh no no no!" Tsunade rapidly shook her head, "It's not that beautiful, trust me! Here!" She yanked her assistant for the day, the nursing demoness Shizune who had dressed up as the worst thing to happen to America since Ronald Reagan, yes I'm talking about Sarah Palin **(A/N: And I realize that I **_**seriously**_** broke the 4****th****-wall here but re-watching that episode and seeing the Sarah Neighlin character, yes that is what the fandom named her, just reminded me of my rage…)**. "Kiss Shizune's hand!" Tsukuyomi blinked but nonetheless tried to gently take Shizune's hand: the demoness beginning to sob from fear.

"What in the world..?" Tsukuyomi whispered, looking towards everyone who shied away from his gaze, "What _ails_ thee?" After a moment, he realized that no one was going to get close to him… like he had so wished for. Biting his lip and refusing to let tears fall, he turned his head, snapping, "Fine then! I alloweth thee to continue on! I shant even bother thee with the traditional farewell!"

The moon-god disappeared in a swirl of black, purple, and white: everyone letting out a sigh of relief. However, Kisame shook his head, "He may be scary as all hell, but he didn't deserve _that_." Unbeknownst to them, Miyu agreed. She thought: why did the nice person who came down from the sky go away? Wasn't he having fun?

Itachi nodded, patting Miyu's head as he stood and stated, "We're going after him." He and Kisame were stopped, however, when Sasuke grabbed their hands.

"Oh no you're not! Going after The Dark Lord? Are you two _insane_?"

"Sasuke, do you have long-term amnesia?" Kisame frowned, "'The Dark Lord' no longer exists!" Itachi agreed,

"We all helped him regain his senses, remember? It just seems as if he's having some trouble adjusting after being imprisoned for 1000 years…"

* * *

><p>A few moments later found Kisame and Itachi walking through the Yonko Forests, Miyu sucking on a Night of Fright themed and flavored pacifier. "Careful…" Kisame whispered, walking ahead of Itachi, "Even though we're trying to be nice, I can't help but be weary…" Itachi frowned at the over-protective streak that his lover was exhibiting, but he said nothing.<p>

Soon enough, they happened upon Tsukuyomi sitting underneath the statue of his former, fiercer self: playing with a small piece of candy that had been left behind.

"Tsukuyomi?" Kisame called over, the moon-god looking up towards the couple. "Hey, happy Night of Fright!" Kisame offered with a shaky smile, "I'm—"

"Sanbi No Same's second in command of his Royal Guard. I congratulate thee, t'is no easy feat." Itachi decided to speak up,

"And my name is—"

"The Great Kanga-Mage." Tsukuyomi immediately recognized, "Commendable tribute. I quite admire the bells and the petals." Itachi couldn't believe.

"Finally!" He laughed, "Someone who understands my costume!" However, he stopped when he saw the sad, puppy-eyed look on the moon-god's face. However, it vanished for a second when he noticed the small baby in the costume's pouch.

"H-hello there…" He whispered as he got close, smiling as he saw Miyu smiling around her pacifier, "Aren't you a dear? What's her name?"

"Miyu." Itachi answered, quiet from shock as Tsukuyomi tickled Miyu's cheek: the baby giggling from the touch. However, Itachi soon had to explain, "Our real names are—"

"Hoshigaki Kisame and Uchiha Itachi." Tsukuyomi stated. The two demons in question only watched on as Tsukuyomi rose up into the air, winds whipping around him, and stated, _**"IT WAS THOU AND THY FRIENDS WHO INTRODUCED US TO THE CONCEPT OF UNITY! AND FREED US FROM OUR DARK POWERS!"**_

"If I may be so bold," Kisame tried to shout over the winds which knocked the face-plate of his armor's helmet into his face, "Wasn't that a good thing?" Tsukuyomi landed and quickly stated,

"But of course! We are congratulating thee! Are we not making our praises clear? SHOULD I SPEAK LOUDER?"

"NO!" Kisame and Itachi immediately held up their hands, Itachi explaining,

"It's just that you sound like you're, well, _yelling_ at us." Tsukuyomi gasped, eyes wide,

"But _this_ is the traditional Terram-Speak! It was once tradition to use the Royal 'We', and to use _**THIS MUCH VOLUME WHEN ADRESSING THE COMMON FOLK!"**_ After their ear-drums had been busted _again_, Kisame gave a nervous chuckle,

"Well… That _might_ be the reason you were met with such a reception."

"Perhaps if you changed your approach," Itachi began as he hopped over, "You would probably get better results." Tsukuyomi thought for a minute before asking,

"_**CHANGETH OUR APPROACH?"**_

"Lower the volume just a notch." Kisame smiled.

"Oh…" Tsukuyomi blinked. "We have been imprisoned for 1000 years. We are… not quite sure if we can…"

"That's another thing," Itachi sighed, "Your speech… Even if it's been 1000 years, you seem to prefer the third-person voice." Tsukuyomi gave a sad sigh, turning his attention back to Miyu.

"T'is very cold," He muttered, playing with Miyu's fingers, "My kingdom on the moon. Despite how much I've tried to make it a home, it is still frigid, dark, and so very lonely. I suppose that in my loneliness, I had reverted to talking to myself as if a companion."

The moon-god, so powerful and fearsome in legend, was such a humble spirit. All he was looking for were those whom he could break bread with and celebrate the changing of seasons. He just wanted some positive attention.

But, Kisame and Itachi realized, with his current social skills, or lack thereof, that was not going to happen anytime soon. But then, the shark-demon snapped his fingers,

"I think I've got an idea!"

* * *

><p>Kisame and Itachi (still carrying Miyu) led Tsukuyomi to Zetsu's cottage, Kisame explaining, "If anyone can teach you how to speak in a gentle tone, my lord, it's my friend Zetsu! He's calm, demure, and even when he's <em>not<em> singing he can lull animals to sleep with his voice."

Itachi then knocked on the front door, not expecting the loud, panicked voice that stated, "Go away! No candy or treats here! Visitors prohibited on Night of Fright!"

"Your friend seems to be of the flighty type." Tsukuyomi frowned, Kisame groaning as he knocked on the door, calling out,

"Zetsu, open the door; it's me, Kisame!" There was the sound of moving furniture before the door _barely_ creaked open: a golden eye peeking out.

"Oh!" Zetsu gasped, "It _is_ you! And Itachi and little Miyu too…" Zetsu had gained enough confidence to open the door a bit more, seeing that he had one more guest. "And The Dark Lord Tsukuyomi." His face immediately sank, turning whiter than normal, "The Dark Lord? NO!" He slammed the door: the noises of carpentry and hammering echoing through the air. Kisame frowned, Tsukuyomi commenting,

"A most peculiar greeting…"

"By Sanbi's lyrical voice!" Kisame gritted out, performing a seal before his body melted down into a puddle of water which sank through the bottom gap of the door.

"Damn it Zetsu!"

"Please, Kisame! _No!"_

"You are saying hi to the moon-god!"

The door cracked open, Kisame pushing Zetsu towards Tsukuyomi, "Zetsu, Tsukuyomi. Tsukuyomi, Zetsu." The green-haired demon watched Tsukuyomi get closer, his eyes wide in terror. The moon-god held out a hand, speaking,

"_**CHARMED."**_

"Oh, fuck this!" Zetsu shook his head, rushing back inside his house. But Tsukuyomi had a trick up his sleeve. You see, he was fond of playing with the shadows of the living. Have you ever gone walking during the night and noticed that you had two shadows instead of one? Or that the shadow was being stretched out into a massive shape? That was him.

And right now, he seized Zetsu's shadow by its feet and tugged him away from the door. The plant-demon slowly nodded, "Likewise..?" Still pulling, Tsukuyomi began his plea,

"_**HOSHIGAKI KISAME HAS SPOKEN OF THY VOICE AND ITS GENTLENESS! WE ASK THEE TO TUTOR US IN SPEAKING AS THOU SPEAKETH!"**_ Zetsu quietly meeped, sure that he had pissed his pants,

"Okay. Please don't kill me."

"_**SHALL THE LEARNING BEGIN NOW?"**_

"Okay. Please don't kill me." Tsukuyomi abruptly leaned forward, staring right into Zetsu's eyes as he asked,

"_**I SHALL MIMIC THEE! HOW IS THIS?"**_ After that, Zetsu was done. He nodded,

"Perfect! I go now!" The plant-demon bolted towards his cottage, smacking into the door as Itachi used his magic to close it. He then called over,

"Try it just a bit softer my lord." Tsukuyomi shyly kicked his feet at the ground, then he tried,

"_**HOW IS**_ THIS?" Kisame gave a reassuring smile,

"Good. Now try again."

"HOW… ABOUT… Now?" Tsukuyomi looked around carefully, as if he was waiting for someone to chastise him. Kisame and Itachi nodded, ignoring how Zetsu slid down the door. Then… something strange happened. Tsukuyomi spoke again, his voice sounding younger… more innocent, with his aged accent breaking through, "And… 'Ow about now?"

"Perfect!" Itachi clapped, Miyu laughing. Tsukuyomi beamed, pulling at Zetsu's shadow with vim: the plant-demon falling into his arms,

"_**THANKETH THEE, KIND ZETSU! YOUR MOST HELPFUL LESSONS SHALL SURELY GAIN US THE PRAISE AND ACCEPTANCE OF YOUR FELLOW VILLAGERS!"**_ While Tsukuyomi forgot his godly strength, swinging Zetsu around like a rag-doll, no one noticed Tobi and the children walking up to the cottage: the joy-demon speaking a mile a minute,

"Zetsu! You have to hide us from The Dark Lo – Ba-caw!" He gasped as he saw the current scene, "The Dark Lord Tsukuyomi has devoured Zetsu's soul~! We were too late~!" The kids all screamed as they ran away, Tobi leading the pack.

Upon seeing this, Tsukuyomi tried to rush after them, _**"NAY, CHILDREN AND CHICKEN-CLAD SIR! I BESEECH THEE, WAIT!"**_ He then remembered his lessons and gently pleaded, "Forgiveness please! I meant, please? Wait?"

Kisame and Itachi saw the moon-god sink to the ground, idly drawing squiggles and doodles in the dirt. The bluenette sighed, "You got any ideas 'Tachi?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Aw... Poor Tsukuyomi. Review so he can get a cookie. **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	16. The Moon God Cometh Part 2

**A/N: What to put here... Hm... Oh, this summer I'm going to cosplay as the pony Berry Punch (you know, the town alcoholic)!**

* * *

><p>With demons and creatures avoiding them like the plague due to Tsukuyomi's presence, Itachi led the way to GlazeFeather Boutique. The weasel-demon explained, "Maybe our friends Sasori and Deidara could help us out. They never turn down the opportunity to help someone with their image."<p>

They eventually stood on the doorstep of the Boutique, Itachi gently knocking on the door, "Sasori? Deidara?"

"One minute, un…" Was the tired reply. The trio, Tsukuyomi holding Miyu for the moment, waited until Deidara slowly pulled the door open. The bird-demon's hair looked like a costume itself: feathers and strands up in all directions. "Oh, Itachi! Kisame! Happy Night of Fright, un~!"

"Who is it?" Sasori asked, the exhausted scorpion-demon slumped over: blood-shot eyes carrying bags underneath them. However, when their tired minds eventually caught up to the scheme of things and they saw just who their friends had brought to visit, Deidara promptly fainted, Sasori seizing Itachi's arm. "Itachi? A word?" The red-head slammed the door in Kisame and Tsukuyomi's faces before he whisper-shouted, "Are you _insane_? Why would you bring The Dark Lord to my house Itachi?" **( 1 )**

"Sasori, please." Itachi began, gently helping Deidara into a chair, "Tsukuyomi is here trying to enjoy mortal company for the first time in 1000 years and, well, his appearance is kind of…"

"Scaring everyone in sight into an early grave?" Deidara whispered as he came back into consciousness. Itachi nodded,

"I was hoping that maybe you two could help him? Maybe a make-over or something?"

"Itachi, he's a _god_!" Deidara shook his head, "Not just that, but a _scary_ one, un! What if he doesn't like our work? He could banish us to the moon or something!" Itachi shook his head,

"No he won't. He's nothing like how all of our childhood books and fables made him out to be, he just wants friends! And you two are going to make him up so that he can find some or else!"

"Or else what?" Sasori pouted, Itachi raising a thin brow,

"Do you _really_ want to take the chance of finding that out?"

* * *

><p>"Tsukuyomi!" Sasori opened the door, greeting the moon-god with a flourish, "Such an honor for you to visit my boutique!" The dark-haired god smiled at the positive reception, stepping forward,<p>

"_**AH YES! WITH SUCH A GREETING, I CAN TELL THAT THIS IS A GOOD PLACE OF BUSINESS! HONORABLE TAILOR, ALLOWETH ME TO KISS THY BEAUTIFUL WIFE'S HAND IN THE TRADITIONAL TERRAM GREETING!"**_

"Oh, fuck this!" Deidara whispered, trying to rush back inside. He was only stopped by Sasori's tail, the red-head gritting,

"If I have to go through this, so do _you_!"

* * *

><p>"So, Tsukuyomi-sama…" Deidara shakily spoke as the moon-god stood in the center of the showroom, "You would like a new look?"<p>

"_**YES,"**_ He used his power to bring a few shelves of clothing over, _**"I WOULD LIKE TO SEE IF A DRESS OF MORE MODERN STYLE WILL BRINGETH ME POSTIVE ATTENTION!"**_

"I see…" Sasori gritted out, Kisame glaring at him in case he said anything stupid. "Well, no time like the present to get started!"

And they did. Though they were both exhausted, Deidara tried his best to style the moon-god's hair in tandem with Sasori's dressing decisions.

First off… was the garb of an evil wizard, the moon-god's dark hair dusted to look grey. "Gods damn it, Sasori…" Kisame pinched the bridge of his nose.

Then they tried a genie outfit… a skimpy genie outfit that left nothing to the imagination. "Deidara…" Itachi warned.

Tired and panicked, Sasori and Deidara tried one more combination. This outfit had tight, leather pants with moon-themed designs, a dark blue and purple jacket without an undershirt to show off Tsukuyomi's impressive muscles, and Deidara quickly cut his hair into a long, but stylish cut that cradled his face impeccably.

When they were done, they silently composed their wills as they allowed Tsukuyomi to look at his reflection. _**"IS THAT… ME?"**_ He asked in disbelief. The two fashionistos nodded, clenching each other's hands as they expected the worse. However, Tsukuyomi's face slowly broke into a smile. _**"I LOOKETH…**_ Hot."

Just as Itachi was about to congratulate them, Sasori and Deidara collapsed to the floor: exhaustion and stress finally taking their toll.

* * *

><p>After helping the scorpion-demon and the bird-demon into bed, the group left the Boutique. Though he was confident and happy about his new look, Tsukuyomi frowned for a second, asking, "Should we not 'ave thanked 'em?"<p>

"They'll be fine." Kisame reassured the moon-god as they walked towards the center of town. Tsukuyomi nodded, psyching himself up for the task ahead.

Yet, no sooner had they stepped into the midst of things, there was a terrified shriek. All at once the music stopped, creatures stopped playing their festival games… Even the food-stands stopped their production.

"T'is of no use Hoshigaki Kisame and Uchiha Itachi…" Tsukuyomi sighed, slowly walking with the two demons: wincing every time someone cowered in fear from his presence, "We have ne'er been liked… And thus, we ne'er shall be…"

"Hey, hey…" Kisame clapped a hand on Tsukuyomi's shoulder (counting his lucky stars that the moon-god didn't kill him for said action), "Look, my friend Kakuzu's wife Hidan is one of the most liked demons in town. He'll set you straight." Tsukuyomi blinked,

"'Straight'? Am I not walking in a linear direction?" Kisame looked away, desperate to hide his snickers. But Itachi explained,

"He means that Hidan will help you."

"Oh…" The moon-god nodded, "This new way of speaking, t'is most peculiar."

* * *

><p>Back at the bobbing apple basin, Alexandr was trying his best to reach a peach. However, he almost lost his grip on the edge and nearly fell into the water. Luckily, Hidan was there to help him back up. "Careful…" The cat-demon dressed as Raggedy-Ann warned, "Your parents will kill me if anything happens to you."<p>

The albino walked over to Kakuzu, the two of them about to see how the hot-chocolate stand was doing when they saw Tsukuyomi standing in their path. "Fuck!" Hidan yelped, Kakuzu moving in front of his wife so that if anything happened, it would go through him first.

"More peculiar greetings?" Tsukuyomi asked Kisame in vain hope. Itachi shook his head, walking to the two farmers,

"Kakuzu, Hidan… Our moon-god is looking for some help on how to fit in with others." Kakuzu immediately gritted,

"There's no way in _hell_ that he can fit—" He was stopped by Hidan nudging him in the back and standing up,

"Oh, well that's easy!" He smiled, patting Tsukuyomi on the back, "You just have to loosen up a bit, try some food, play some games… All in all, have fun!"

That final word… Tsukuyomi didn't recognize it, so he had to ask, "Fun… what is this _fun_ that thou speaketh of? Some sort of condiment?"

This was going to be harder than they thought.

Kakuzu finally stood up, slowly leading the way to the hot-chocolate stand, "Well, let's try to start off with something to drink. Girls!" Two of Kakuzu and Hidan's daughters Ginger and Peachy: Ginger was their oldest child, a female stitch-demon with glasses and a high pony-tail of thick, brown hair, and Peachy was the seventh child, a pretty cat-demoness who had white curls of hair, a sassy attitude and a penchant for breaking boys' hearts. Both of them were dressed up as maids to attract business (Ginger hating that she had let her younger sister talk her into this).

"Hai Tou-san?" Ginger replied, adjusting her glasses. But Peachy already had a hot, steaming cup of thick, hot chocolate topped off with sweet cream ready for Kakuzu to take.

"Thank you." Kakuzu nodded before handing the cup over, "Here, try some hot-chocolate."

"Hot…" Tsukuyomi took the mug, wary of its contents, "'Chocolate'? This confuses us."

"Just try some!" Kisame insisted. Finally, with a sigh, Tsukuyomi took a sip. His eyes widened from surprise and, after gently licking his lips, he downed the entire cup.

When he was done, he smiled, "Huh. This 'hot-chocolate' drink is good! _**ANOTHER!**_" **( 2 )** He requested, smashing his cup into the ground. Peachy immediately screamed, hiding behind the stand as Ginger frowned,

"Research indicates that the common response to such a situation would be: 'Oh, fuck this'!" She then proceeded to close up the stand.

"Um…" Hidan blinked. He quickly pulled Tsukuyomi over to one of the festival games. Tsukuyomi walked over to what seemed to be a bowl of bean-bag spiders. "I am confused once more," He began, circling the bowl, "Pray tell, what _purpose_ do these things serve?"

The poor leprechaun who was manning the station whimpered, "T-t-try to land the sp-spiders on the web. Win a p-p-prize!" The dark-haired god looked over and saw the decorated wed on the other side of the area. With a shrug of his shoulders, he picked up a spider and tossed it. The toy landed just a few inches shy of its target causing Tsukuyomi to frown and look back at the others.

However, Hidan cheered, "Come on Tsukuyomi-sama!" Tsukuyomi nodded. He grabbed another spider and gave a powerful throw, the spider sticking to the web. "Ha!" He smiled, laughter bubbling up within his chest, "Your moon-god enjoys this concept of 'fun'!" As they saw the he moon-god acting none-too frightening, demons and other creatures started to slowly come around. The moon-god slowly walked back to the small group, asking, "In what other ways may we enjoy it?"

* * *

><p>Next came the game that made Kakuzu grit his teeth in rage every year that it was played: pumpkin-chucking. Oh well, at least people were paying for every pumpkin they used. Tsukuyomi gently placed a heavy, golden pumpkin into a catapult, awaiting a signal.<p>

"Fire away my lord!" Itachi called out, Tsukuyomi releasing the latch of the catapult and watching the pumpkin fly through the air: landing on a target on the other side of the field.

"Ha hah!" Tsukuyomi clapped his hands, "The 'fun'! It hath been doubled!" Everyone in the area cheered, especially since Tsukuyomi didn't seem so frightening anymore. And Tsukuyomi was all smiles as he relished the attention he was getting.

"Hey," Hidan offered, "Why don't you try bobbing for apples Lord Tsukuyomi? The basin is still chock-full of them!" Tsukuyomi nodded, practically impatient for the next game to begin. But, before they left, he had a thought.

"Actually…" He bit his lip, "I asketh that thy call us by my sister's name for us – I mean – _me_… Tsuki, Fair Hidan." He then addressed everyone, "Everyone! Call me Tsuki!" Everyone muttered amongst themselves, discussing the simpler name. "Show me to these apples that bob, Fair Hidan." Tsukuyomi smiled as the demons led him over to the basin.

Yet, it seemed that Alexandr had yet to learn from Hidan's warning because just then, he fell into the basin.

"No!" Tsukuyomi gasped, rushing over to save the small Baba Yaga.

"Hey guys!" That was Tobi, the joy-demon walking up with all the other children, "Have you guys seen Alexandr? We lost him the last time we had to run from – ba-caw?" He gasped upon seeing Tsukuyomi dredge Alexandr up from the frigid water. "NO! The Dark Lord Tsukuyomi's devouring Alexandr! Everyone _run_!" The children all rushed off, Alexandr screaming,

"Nyet! My backside has been gobbled!" Before he broke free from the moon-god's grasp. Outraged, Tsukuyomi fumed,

"T'is a false claim! Thy backside is whole, fresh, and un-gobbled thy ungrateful whelp!", he stomped into the ground, a crack of lightning flashing in the sky above. All of the town's residents slowly began to back away, all of their uncertainties coming back in full-force. "Citizens?" Tsukuyomi shook his head, walking towards them, "Do not back away! Let us join together for merry-making and _fun_!" He whipped his head around, eyes landing on a discarded spider toy.

He grabbed it and tossed it towards the creatures, no one moving from their spots. "Not enough fun for you?" Tsukuyomi frowned, "What say thee to _this_?" He snapped his fingers, the spider toy shifting into a real, _large,_ drooling tarantula. The ones in the bowl shifted as well, a swarm of tarantulas scuttling through the area: demons screaming and running away.

Yet, the tarantulas didn't want to bite anyone. They all moved, single file, to crawl onto the web. They congregated in its center, Tsukuyomi cheering, "Huzzah! Rejoice! How many points do I receive?"

His response was a demoness screaming as a spider, in the process of trying to cuddle with her, crawled on her face. That scream was the catalyst for all hell to break loose. "Do _not_ run away from me!" Tsukuyomi pleaded, everyone ignoring him as they panicked and rushed about: some bumping into each other, others crashing into decorations, and mayhem ruling over all.

After a light-pole, on which Tsunade was hiding, fell over, Tsukuyomi snapped.

"_**BE… STILL..!"**_ He _demanded_, his voice echoing throughout the land: thunder and lightning forming around him from the force of his cry. Everyone instantly fell to their knees as the force from the demand waned.

"Lord Tsukuyomi, please!" Itachi tried walking over, Miyu still inside the pouch of his costume.

"You have to watch your volume!" Kisame warned. But Tsukuyomi was beyond the point of trying to impress others and humbling himself. What had it gotten him?

"_**NO, HOSHIGAKI KISAME AND UCHIHA ITACHI!"**_ He screamed, tears forming in the corners of his glowing eyes, _**"WE MUST USE THE TRADITIONAL TERRAM-SPEAK FOR WHAT WE NEED TO SAY!"**_

"Oh shit…" Kisame gulped. Tsukuyomi's body rose up into the air, a powerful storm forming in the heavens above.

"_**SINCE YOU CHOOSE TO FEAR YOUR MOON-GOD RATHER THAN TO LOVE HIM… AND FURTHER SHOW YOUR HATRED BY DISRESPECTING US WITH THIS **_**INSULTING**_** HOLIDAY! WE DECREE… THAT FROM THIS NIGHT ONWARD… NIGHT OF FRIGHT SHALL BE CANCELLED!"**_ With tears streaming down his face, he ended his statement, _**"FORRREEVEERR…!"**_ When he finished, lightning rained down from the skies: torching and destroying every trace of the once joyous celebration.

Then, in a whirl of smoke, Tsukuyomi was gone.

* * *

><p>Immediately, everyone desperately tried to douse the flames before the whole town was burned down. Just when it seemed as if the flames were about to start growing, there came a torrential downpour from the skies.<p>

"Ne…" A familiar voice began, "Can't have things getting too heated on Night of Fright, can we?" Everyone looked over and saw the deity of water and music removing a shark-mask from his face.

"Lord Sanbi!" Kisame called over, saluting to the white-haired deity who walked over, Rokubi beside him removing a weasel-mask from his own face.

"Rokubi-sama," Itachi quickly began, "You have to help us.

The weasel-demon quickly explained the situation and afterwards…

"Oh no…" Rokubi shook his head, "You have to understand, Tsukuyomi hasn't been around others for 1000 years! He was probably trying all he could to get you all to enjoy his company. But with all the fear around him…"

"He doesn't understand the jokes and tricks of the holiday." Sanbi laid out in simple terms, "So he's probably scared out of his mind and… well, fear and anger are very mixable."

"He's right…" Kakuzu shook his head, "Damn it, everything was going so well. Tsukuyomi was happy, everyone in town was happy…"

"And now look at them!" Hidan hissed as a chorus of children's tears roused up.

"But I wanted to be a zombie next year~!" Ongakuhana sobbed. Itachi sighed, trying to go get Mizuki. But when he took a step forward, a cracking noise caused his ears to twitch. Looking down, he saw a lunar-charm lying discarded on the floor.

"It's not over yet." He nodded, Kisame asking,

"What do you have in mind?" Itachi gave the shark-demon a knowing smile, tapping the temple of his head,

"I'll do what I'm good at: lecturing!"

* * *

><p>Passing a gossipy Kabuto who was talking to a couple of demoness who hadn't heard the news, Kisame and Itachi rushed through Adamant Falls' alleyways.<p>

It was when they made it to the Oceanside that they saw the heartbreaking sight of Tsukuyomi walking along the shore… alone and miserable.

"Tsukuyomi!" Kisame addressed the moon-god as he and Itachi rushed over. However, the dark-haired god shook his head and demanded,

"_**LEAVE US BE…"**_

"Tsukuyomi, please…" Itachi stated, "I'm _so_ sorry that things haven't worked out the way we've wanted. But you _have _to believe me when I say that Night of Fright is one of our most cherished holidays."

"Oh _yes_…" Tsukuyomi gritted out, "We can tell by the screams and glares of horror when demons run _away_ from us!" He slowly walked off, Kisame whispering to Itachi,

"I'll follow him and keep trying to get him to see eye to eye."

"Gods bless you Kisa…" Itachi kissed the bluenette on the cheek before he walked after the moon-god. But as they left, Itachi rested a hand on Miyu's head…

And then an idea came into mind.

* * *

><p>Back in town, parents were still trying to console their children, others discussing whether or not they should take down the decorations and stands.<p>

But Tobi apparently could _not_ read the dismal air of things because he was still clucking and flitting about. Suddenly, his wide eyes landed on a piece of candy. "Ooh, a piece of candy!" He flapped over and gobbled up the sweet treat.

But then he saw another. "Ooh, a piece of candy!" He gobbled that up, following the trail of candies that had been laid out for him. He was going down to eat piece number six when he was brought up into the air by a field of red energy.

"Shh…" Itachi hopped forward, "No more screaming! No more shrieking! Enough is enough Tobi!"

"Okay." The joy-demon meeped. Itachi then sighed, setting Tobi down,

"You need to see something. But I swear to the gods, Tobi, if you scream or shout…" Tobi quietly nodded, giving Itachi the signal to continue. The weasel-demon then snapped his fingers, waiting for something.

Out of the shadows walked Kisame, followed by Tsukuyomi. Immediately, Tobi shrieked, "Oh, fuck _this_!" But after a stern glare from Itachi he stayed still.

"Tobi…" Kisame smiled, "You remember Tsukuyomi?"

"Hmph," The moon-god stepped forward, "Yes. You're the… ring-master of the screamin' children then?" As Tobi remained silent, Tsukuyomi sighed, "Have you, by any chance, come to offer a truce?"

Tobi blinked up at the moon-god before he smiled. Tsukuyomi returned the gesture, holding out a hand for a shake…

When a lightning bolt cracked through the sky, shocking Tobi into screaming, "The Dark Lord Tsukuyomi!", and rushing off. Familiar laughter could be heard from above, Kisame gritting out,

"Gods damn it, Alfred!" The shark-demon tried to rush after the Trickster Spirit who had lured the lightning over to them. Of course, the loud noise had frightened Miyu who began wailing and crying.

"No…" Itachi clicked his tongue before asking Tsukuyomi, "Please, could you-?"

"But of course!" Tsukuyomi took Miyu into his hands, quietly whispering to the baby before Itachi teleported to block Tobi's fearful flight.

"Why can't you just understand that he's _different_ now Tobi?" Itachi yelled, "He's benevolent, nice, and, gods damn it, he does _not_ want to eat you!" All at once, Tobi stopped his panicking and frowned,

"Well _duh_."

"Excuse me?" Itachi blinked. But Tobi went on,

"Itachi, come _on_! Tobi's half his size and filled with so much sugar that it could rot someone's teeth! Why would he want to eat _Tobi_?"

"But…" Itachi sputtered, trying to figure this out, "Then _why_ do you keep running away from Tsukuyomi?" Tobi laughed,

"Sometimes it's better to scared! It's so much fun!"

"Fun?" Itachi whispered before he finally figured it all out. "Tobi, you're a genius!"

"No Tobi's not," Tobi pouted, "Tobi's a chicken! Ba-caw!" Itachi rolled his eyes,

"I'm not even going to try." Before he walked back to Tsukuyomi, who was whispering calming nonsense words to the babe. "Lord Tsukuyomi!" He cried, "I know why you're having so much trouble being liked!" The moon-god sighed,

"Forgive me if I withhold my enthusiasm." But Itachi placed Miyu back into the pouch and gently took Tsukuyomi's hand,

"Come on, I'll show you…"

* * *

><p>Children all around were still silently crying, mourning the loss of their holiday. Alexandr picked up a ripped banner and sighed, "I could never have thought that my first Night of Fright… Would be my last."<p>

"Come now…" Ivan gently spoke, taking Alexandr up upon his shoulder, "We should not fret. Night of Fright isn't over yet." The kids slowly wiped their eyes of tears, realizing that Ivan was right, "We still have the candy that we must give, so that Tsukuyomi might let us live…" Tsunade, who was overseeing clean-up, agreed,

"Oh yeah… We've still got the candy offering!" She then did her best spooky face and voice, "We can't have The Dark Lord trying to gobble you up, can we~?"

"Geez," Sasuke, who had been helping Naruto pack up food, "The outfit just _kills_ it." Hidan helped bring the rest of the children over so Ivan could take them back to the Tsukuyomi statue.

"Best to finish this holiday out with a big-fucking-bang!"

* * *

><p>Thus, Kisame and Itachi helped Ivan bring the kids back into the Yonko Forests. Each child slowly portioned out half of their candy and set it in front of the frightening monument. Alexandr was last and, after he poured his candy out, he whispered, "Farewell Night of Fright…"<p>

There was a crack of thunder, the wind picking up into a fierce gale as the skies once again grew black. Then…

"_**CITIZENS OF ADAMANT FALLS!"**_ Everyone gasped and huddled close together as the booming voice echoed about, _**"T'WAS WISE TO BRINGETH US SUCH A GRACIOUS OFFERING! IN FACT, WE ARE SO PLEASED THAT I JUST MAY EAT **_**IT**_**…"**_ In a blast of smoke and ash, Tsukuyomi appeared on the back of his winged skeletal horse, skull-mask on his face, _**"INSTEAD OF THEEE!" **_

The kids all shrieked and screamed in horror, rushing back towards town as fast as their small legs could carry them. As they left, Tsukuyomi jumped down from the beast's back and removed his mask, sighing,

"I doubt that worked out the way you were intending…"

"Just wait a minute…" Kisame gave a reassuring smile, Tsukuyomi frowning,

"Wait for _what_? More screaming, more tears, more _soiled_ trousers? More…" He blinked, looking down, "More…"

Alexandr slowly, carefully walked up towards Tsukuyomi. The small Baba Yaga looked up… Then a soft smile grew on his face, "Lunokhod."

"Da?" Tsukuyomi immediately switched languages, Alexandr blushing a bit before he looked down and asked,

"Even if there are no more Night of Frights… Could you please come by and scare us some more for the next year?"

Tsukuyomi's dark eyes widened. He looked back towards the other demons, then over to where the kids were peeking out from behind the nearby bushes. "Are thou saying that thou… Enjoyeth my fearful persona?" The snowy-haired child placed a hand over his heart,

"Occasional scaring can be, in the moderation, good for you."

"And it's really fun!" Hun barked.

"Fun..?" Tsukuyomi whispered, not believing his ears. The kids all cheered, walking over to him and cheering,

"We _love_ Night of Fright!"

His heart was… so full of over-flowing, warm emotion. He realized that he had felt so happy with Miyu in his arms because she helped him feel a small inkling of the wave he was feeling now.

"Well then," He smiled at them all before declaring, "We shall have to bring _**NIGHT OF FRIGHT BACK!**_" The force of the statement knocked the kids all back, Ongakuhana whooping,

"Tsukuyomi _rocks_!"

The kids soon rushed off, speeding to tell of the good news. Tsukuyomi stood there, watching them before Itachi and Kisame walked over.

"See!" Itachi smiled, "We told you that you were loved!"

"Can it be..?" Tsukuyomi whispered to himself. All at once, he exclaimed, a storm rolling in, _**"OH, MOST WONDEROUS, JOYOUS…"**_ He abruptly stopped himself, chuckling nervously, "I mean… Oh, most wondrous, _joyous_ of nights…"

* * *

><p>Once the news of Night of Fright's salvation had been spread, the real party began! Music began flowing through the air, food and drink flowing like water. And the games, oh the games!<p>

The local time-lord took a break from playing his guitar to bob for an apple. The brunette dunked his head in, coming up with… "Ugh!" He spat out a yellow fruit, "Pears? I _hate_ pears! Pears are rubbish! Rose!" He called out to his companion, "I told you _not_ to let me eat any pears!" **( 3 )**

"Ugh…" Tsukuyomi groaned, suddenly next to the time-lord and tossing aside a pear, "I concur."

* * *

><p>"Ladies and gentlemen…" Tsunade announced to one and all, music rolling up behind her, "Here, with a special musical tribute to Tsukuyomi, is the deity of music and the seas… Sanbi No Same!"<p>

"Yeah!" Sanbi called out, "What d'you know about Night of Fright?" Then he began,

"_Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen; No reason to scream,_

_Your favorite moon-god is back; He's walkin' up on the scene,_

_He has been stuck in the moon, but that's no reason to fret,_

_He's not a Nightmare no more, so buckle down and get set!_

_He's comin'; Gracin' his subjects. He ain't leavin' no choice,_

_He's gonna blow you all back with his Old Terram Voice,_

_So cover all of your fears and stow away all your fright,_

_The Lunar god is back; to bring the Nightmares Tonight!"_ After breathing in after that rap, he belted out,

"_He's living in the past_

_so you won't last_

_Without the proper care…_

_With a royal farewell,_

_And an animate spell,_

_You won't have long to prepare~!"_

The music blasting through the air, dancing and merry-making could be seen all over the town. In the center of it all, Tsukuyomi was learning how light on his feet he was.

* * *

><p>Finally, when most of Adamant Falls' residents were heading to bed, Tsukuyomi was mounting his horse: bags of candy and food bundled in his arms. "I just wanted to say…" He smiled before looking at Kisame and Itachi and little baby Miyu, "Thank you all <em>so<em> much. This has, literally, been the best night of my entire life!"

"And there are only more to come," Hidan stated, "You just have to learn to loosen up and go with the flow of things!" Tsukuyomi nodded,

"Aye." He mounted his steed and stated, "May the moon's light shine favor onto all of you!" Then he kicked the skeletal horse's sides, the creature whinnying as it galloped, then flapped into the sky.

While the group was saying their farewells to the moon-god, Alfred was sneaking up behind them in the shape of a crocodile: determined to get one last scare in before the night was done. He reared up onto his hind legs, opening a wide, toothed jaw…

A sudden zap of lightning got him on the butt, the Trickster Spirit shifting back to normal-form and running off, screaming, "Mama!"

That strike had come from the night sky, stars twinkling above the whispy clouds.

"_**A JOYOUS NIGHT OF FRIGHT TO ALL~!"**_ Tsukuyomi's voice rang out across the night sky, the moon-god's heart much warmer due to learning that he was appreciated in his own special way…

Just with more screaming than his dear sister.

* * *

><p><strong>OMAKE<strong>

Tsukuyomi gasped before stating, "It is tradition to use the Royal _Wii_!", holding up the underrated video game console in his hand. **( 4 )**

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**( 1 ) – This scene is inspired by the Rarity scene that had to be cut out of the 'Luna Eclipsed' episode due to time constraints. **

**( 2 ) – An obvious parody of the 'Coffee'-scene from the movie 'Thor', aka, 'the only memorable part from the movie Thor'. **

**( 3 ) – Some Dr. Who humor for you then. The 10****th**** Doctor is notorious for hating pears. In one episode, he's supposed to be warning someone about an on-coming danger but he goes into a long rant about how they shouldn't let him eat any pears. **

**( 4 ) – This was the funniest internet joke to come out of the whole Luna-fandom. Every time I see the photo-shopped picture of Luna holding a Wii, I just laugh.**

**And that just about does it for this week! Thanks for taking the time to read everyone, and please review! It makes this story worth writing when I read your feedback! See you all next week! **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	17. Deidara, Let Your Hair Down Part 1

**A/N: Urm... Yeah... **

**I didn't update on time this week, did I? **

**Mostly because I didn't like writing this chapter and between this, sobbing over the fact that I can't get Rhythm Heaven, and working on the most depressing Hetalia fanfiction ever (seriously, go to my profile, it's a two-part story), I was keeping myself muy occupado... **

**Ugh, what was that? What was _that_? You know, just... Just... **

**Thank you elric0sis, Waterbomb22, KanameAngel, and Alexa Hiwatari for the reviews last chapter. Let's... read? I don't know.**

* * *

><p>"Mm…" One morning in Adamant Falls, specifically at GlazeFeather Boutique, soft moans could be heard drifting down through the Boutique. "Such <em>fluffy <em>pancakes, un…" In the master bedroom, the blonde fashionisto bird-demon Deidara still lay sleeping.

Occasionally, he would flip over onto his back or side, still murmuring, "The _aroma_ of… a nice hot toddy…"

He was still sleeping when tendrils of grey smoke seeped into the room. But he still slept and murmured on, "The smell of… _smoke_ and…" He abruptly sat up, ripping away his face-mask, "Smoke?" He shouted, desperately trying to get out of his bed, only falling over in a pile of blankets and silk pajamas. "FIRE!" He screamed, rushing down the stairs.

His momentum soon got the best of him: the blonde falling over himself until he landed at the bottom of the staircase. He quickly walked to the kitchen, whipping his head around to see the source of the fire…

Only seeing Saso coughing as he held up a pan of black and beige mush. The small blonde sighed, looking up at his mother, "Surprise, ano sa?"

Deidara groaned, rolling his eyes.

* * *

><p>Saso yelped as Deidara stormed towards him, mouth and body poised to yell and chastise… When he noticed Sasori at the table: frantically filling out paperwork, packing a travel-bag, and trying to eat a quick breakfast.<p>

"Danna?" Deidara blinked, "What's going on, un?"

"Oh!" The scorpion-demon looked up, "Deidara, thank goodness you're up!" He stood, forcing more clothes into his bag, "I didn't want to go without seeing your face. And Saso made breakfast, so be sure to eat something."

"Uh-huh…" The bird-demon frowned before looking at a glass filled with grey gunk, "I didn't know you could burn _juice_, un."

"Yes," Sasori nodded, hardly even processing what Deidara had just said, "He's been reading up on cooking since I first talked about my trip to pre-fashion-week week." Deidara instantly stiffened, asking,

"That's _this _week?" Sasori nodded, shoveling down some charcoal bacon. Saso pushed a bowl of more grey ooze onto the table, Deidara wincing, "Oatmeal? Applesauce..?"

"No," Saso shook his head, "Toast." The small demon grabbed the doll he had sitting on the extra dining chair, smiling, "We're going to have so much fun, ano sa! Just a mother and their child, I can't wait!" He rushed off to get some things from his room. Immediately when Saso was gone, Deidara asked his fiancé,

"Now, when you say a _week_…"

"Seven days _and_ nights, Deidara," Sasori hummed, "Full of me getting an insider's peak of what is going to be in for the next season."

"But what about my to-do list, un~?" Deidara whined, not into the idea of playing 'mommy' for the next week. However, he soon sighed, "Well, I guess I can squeeze spend time with Saso in between cosmetics orders…"

A large commotion grabbed both adults' attention and they looked just in time to see that Saso had brought down his complete doll play-set. "A few necessities." He beamed.

"Love you both!" Sasori called out as he rushed into a taxi-wagon. However, as soon as the door was closed, he snapped, "Step on it!", the taxi then rushed off.

The two blondes, one tall, one small, watched the taxi disappear over the over the distance before Deidara huffed, walking back inside the Boutique's kitchen, "Well, let's get this mess cleaned up, un."

"But…" Saso blinked, looking around, "We haven't eaten yet." Deidara sighed,

"I appreciate the… _effort_, sweetie, but we _can't_ eat _this_!" He tossed a plate of burnt donuts into the trash, "It's burnt beyond belief!" Saso pouted,

"It isn't _that_ burnt, ano sa…"

"Never fear though!" Deidara smiled, snapping his fingers and causing flour and cinnamon to float over from the pantry while eggs and milk floated in from the fridge, "I'll get a nice, fresh breakfast all set up!" The bird-demon watched as the flour and milk slowly blended together, turning on the stove…

"Can I help?" Saso asked, peeking his head up from the side of the counter. Deidara blinked at the small child, humming and looking around until…

"Of course! Er…" He nodded, "Just let me get things started." Saso smiled and grabbed his doll before sitting quietly and patiently for Deidara to call on his assistance.

He watched the older blonde make a pitcher of lemonade… Set up a vase of flowers… Start an omelet… Glaze some strawberries for the crepes he had made… Use his magic to toss the rest of the burnt food into the trash… And take some simple morning biscuits out of the oven before he walked over and groaned,

"You said you were going to let me help."

"Oh, for the love of—" Deidara began, but he caught himself, "I mean, you _are_, un! You can, um…" Blue eyes looked around before landing on a simple sprig of parsley, "Garnish the plates!" Saso was not impressed.

"That tiny green thing, ano sa?" Deidara happily nodded, so Saso took the parsley and walked over to the omelet plates. However, when he tried to place it down…

"Careful!" Deidara gasped, hovering over his son's head, "No need to rush! This has to be just _perfect_…" Saso frowned, trying to place it down again… "No! That's not right, un!"

'_Why can't he just let me _try_..?'_ Saso mentally groaned, desperately wanting to drown his mother out. However, as he was trying to place the parsley down _again_, Deidara shouted,

"Back up!"

"Ah!" Saso yelped as he lost his balance on the chair he was standing on: sending the table's contents _and _himself to the floor. The bird-demon silently frowned, bemoaning the loss of his fine breakfast china (not paying any mind to the fact that Saso may have broken something). But as the kitchen slowly calmed down, the parsley gently floated down onto a plate: landing on top of the omelet.

"Not bad…" Deidara groaned. Saso whined as he stood, clutching his arm,

"I think I broke something, ano sa…"

"Uh, yeah!" Deidara huffed, "All my fine china, un!"

"Sorry…" Saso sighed, pushing up a chair so he could sit down.

* * *

><p>Deidara wiped a bead of sweat off of his brow from the <em>incredibly<em> strenuous task he was doing… wiping the floors. When they were sparkling clean (Deidara winking at his reflection), he looked up at the clock on the wall. "Shit!" He sighed, "There are things that require my attention!" He tossed the towel he was using onto a vast pile and asked Saso, "Be a dear and take these to the laundry-room, un?"

Saso, who had been going over the grooves in the floor with a fine-tooth comb along with some of his doll friends, looked up just in time to get a face full of damp cloth.

"Here's our chance, ano sa," Saso spoke out to his dolls who were helping him bring in the towels to the laundry-room, "To prove to mother that we're useful!"

"Huzzah!" The dolls chimed. Setting the dirty cloths down, Saso looked around the laundry-room for a moment. His green eyes landed on a beautiful sweater of gold and white hanging by the window.

"Hey…" He smiled, climbing up onto the counters so he could get to the eye-catching garment.

* * *

><p>"I wonder what scents I should use today." Deidara mused as he walked past the back door of the Boutique. However, as he passed, he nearly dropped his essence bottles in shock as he saw just <em>what<em> Saso had hung up to dry. "Saso, _no_!"

"Huh?" The small demon blinked, struggling to keep his balance on the stepping stool he was on, "Oh, well… I hung up the laundry _and_ I proved my usefulness! Aren't you surprised, ano sa?"

"That's _one_ word for it, un!" Deidara squawked, pushing Saso out of the way so he could look at what had caught his eye, "You _washed_ my one-of-a-kind, limited-edition, truly expensive, hand-crocheted sweater~! Oh!" He bit his lip, whining, "Danna got me that as a present on my last birthday! These are _uber_-hard to come by, Saso!" Saso was confused. He shook his head, following his mother,

"I don't understand. All we did was _wash_ it, ano sa! What's the big deal?" Deidara struggled to get the sweater down, fussing,

"The big deal, as you so incorrectly put it, is that in the heat of the _sun_, the wool in this sweater will-!" As if on cue, the sweater shrunk 10 times smaller than its original state. "Shrink…"

"Oh no…" Saso frowned, whispering, "I'm sorry." Deidara gritted his teeth, refusing to look at the blonde child for fear of lashing out at him. He finally sighed, giving a shaky smile,

"I should get back to work, un…" He stepped forward, immediately hearing a splash and feeling water seep into his house-slippers. Saso meeped,

"Sorry!"

"Huh." Deidara frowned, "Stay out of my way, okay?" He walked a few steps away before turning and adding, "_Please?_" As the bird-demon walked away, Saso looked at his feet: his eyes and mood downcast,

"I just wanted to do something nice for my mother, ano sa…"

* * *

><p>Thus, a few hours later we find Saso sitting all alone in the center of the Boutique show-room. The small blonde picked at his shirt sleeve for a moment before groaning, "Ugh! So bored, ano sa!" He scooted along the floor, pouting and whining, "When is mother going to be done with his work?" The dolls that had accompanied him shook their heads, not knowing how to answer that. As he tried to entertain himself, Saso winced as his mother's infuriated face came into mind. Green eyes looked around, eventually landing on a stack of paper accompanied with some colored pencils. "Hey, that's nice and unobtrusive ano sa!"<p>

The small blonde walked over and immediately went to work: drawing and coloring out a picture. "Hm…" He hummed, looking at his work. The dolls mirrored the gesture, Saso commenting, "It needs a bit of… _something_."

"Mm-hm." The dolls all nodded before Princess Rose walked away and found her way into a chest filled with two jars containing sparkling aquamarine paint and dust. "What about these?" She offered. Saso looked over and immediately smiled.

* * *

><p>Deidara was humming the latest Konan Pacon song to himself as he walked into the show-room with a bowl of eye-shadow base in his hands. He was stopped, however, when Saso rushed over to him and showed him his drawing, stating with pride evident in eyes and voice, "Mother! I made this especially for you and –"<p>

Deidara's horrified screams echoed throughout the whole building, the bird-demon flying off to the now empty chest to try and see if – he couldn't have – He DID! "No, no, NO!" He shouted, "Saso! Did you use the paint and dust that was in here?" More than a bit scared now, Saso curled up into himself and admitted,

"Well… Yes. But it was all the way out here and I didn't think you would mind with all the stuff that's left in your work-room…"

"But _this_ was expensive, incredibly rare butterfly-demoness ink and moth-demon dander! I needed them for an _incredibly_ important client, un!"

"Oh…" Saso bit his lip, whispering, "Sorry…"

"Dear gods!" Deidara rubbed his temples, sighing, "Saso! What in Terram am I going to do with you, un?"

Saso immediately perked up, jumping around (his dolls following him), "We could paint… Or go for a boat-ride… Play some chess, even though I'm the Adamant Falls champion… Read a book or two—"

"That is _not_ what I meant!" Deidara snapped, grabbing Saso's arm to stop the jumping. He completely ignored the child's wince of pain as he groaned, "Now I have to go and _beg_ for more of these supplies!"

"Oh!" Saso beamed as Deidara put on a pair of shoes so he could leave, "Can I go with you to meet the butterfly and moth-dem—"

"NO!" Deidara shouted. However, at the sight of tears forming in Saso's eyes, he sighed, "No, thank you. You can help me by picking up all that scrap paper, putting away the colored pencils, and doing away with that _tacky_ drawing, un! In short," Deidara walked out of the door, "Do something that _won't_ make me want to pull my hair out by the time I come back home!"

The door shut with a slam, Saso slumping to the floor. "I say!" Prince Palm turned up his nose, "If that wasn't the epitome of rudeness!" Saso rubbed at his eyes, whispering,

"I just wanted to be helpful, ano sa… It's like I can't do anything right…"

"Oh, now hush." Princess Tulip patted the blonde child's knee, "It will be alright. Now, let's go and see what we can do about tidying this place up." Saso slowly nodded before standing up and beginning to clean up the paper. He worked for a good couple of minutes until he found himself in front of Deidara's private work-room.

Taking a peek inside, Saso nearly yelped at the stained counters and walls, misplaced color-swatches, perfume samples, magazine clippings, and various mixing supplies and bottles strewn about the space. "Hey…" Saso nodded to himself, rushing inside and getting to work.

* * *

><p>Two hours later, Deidara walked into the Boutique with two giant jars of ink and dust. He set them down and looked around, calling out, "Saso! Mommy's back, un~!" The bird-demon removed his new, shiny sunglasses and walked upstairs, wondering where the small blonde was.<p>

He peeked his head into his work-room, hearing noise but never really imagining that Saso would have been in there… "Saso – _No!_" He gasped in horror, looking around at his work-room.

The space had been scrubbed clean, waxed and polished from top to bottom: everything put away into neat piles organized by color and fabric. "Surprise!" A happily tired Saso cheered, awaiting a positive comment from his mother.

But the bird-demon sank to his knees, sputtering bouts of nonsense as he looked around, "B-but… I… My… My ideas! My work! _My inspiration!"_ It was like a dam had burst: Deidara shifting into bird-form to flit from one area to another, desperately trying to find any remnants of his works and potential mixtures. "Gone? All gone?" He squawked, starting to hyperventilate. He then rushed over to Saso, shifting back to normal form and screaming, "What the _hell_ did you _do?_"

"I…" Saso gulped before shakily explaining, "Saw the big mess in here and decided to help you by cleaning up?"

3…

2…

1…

All the windows in the house shattered as Deidara lost control of his chakra, screaming out in sheer rage, "_THIS_! Was _not_ a MESS, UN! _THIS_ was ORGANIZED CHAOS!"

* * *

><p>In the depths of the underworld, Eris's spirit was sipping on a nice milk of glass when she heard the cry. However, she simply rolled her eyes, "Bitch, <em>please<em>."

* * *

><p>Deidara screamed again, tossing everything out of the recently organized drawers, "I had almost finished organizing a new line of Fall cosmetics! And you, and you…" He shook his head, not even wanting to look at the space's organized state, "PUT EVERYTHING AWAY?" Saso listened to all of this for a moment before frowning,<p>

"Wait a minute, ano sa… I'm sensing a double-standard here. Every time _I_ make a mess, you get mad!" Deidara turned around, screaming,

"But this was _MY_ mess! In _MY _private room!" He panted, trying to catch his breath as he slowly realized, "And now I have to start from scratch…"

"I thought…" Saso sniffled, "I thought that it would make you happy, ano sa…"

That tore it.

"_Happy?_" Deidara breathed out. He abruptly grabbed Saso and dragged him out of the Boutique, snapping, "Get out! Get out! GET OUT!", before he slammed the door shut in the poor blonde's face. "And _please_," Deidara's voice ground out from inside, "Try not to come back and bother me for at least four hours so I can have some _peace_!"

Saso frowned, looking to the ground as he walked away, whispering, "Yes mother…"

* * *

><p>So, what else could he have done? Saso slowly walked around Adamant Falls, desperately trying to stay out of everyone's way so that they didn't yell at him like his mother did. He was still looking at the ground and didn't look up until he saw an abandoned flyer tossed aside in the dust of the roads.<p>

He blinked, picking it up before a familiar voice asked, "Could you, like, hand that here?" He looked over and saw Kire trying to tap more posters to a building's wall. Saso walked over and handed the stitch-demon the flyer. "Freaking things keep flying everywhere and – Oh!" Kire smiled, jumping down from the stool once he realized who he was talking to, "Hey, it's cutie!" Saso rolled his eyes,

"Stop calling me that, ano sa." Kire laughed before pulling a comb out of his sleeve, using it to comb down a certain part of Saso's hair that was sticking up,

"It's true, isn't it? Hey, anyway, how's your alone week with your mom going?" Saso frowned before replying, voice full of sarcasm,

"Why, it's _smashing_! _Simply_ divine~!", and beginning to walk away.

"Okay..?" Kire blinked, walking after the other, "Really, what's up?" Saso took a seat next to a statue of a demoness that stood at the center of town, sighing,

"My mother hates me, ano sa. And now there's _nothing_ I can convince him to do so I can show him that I don't mess _everything_ up."

"Hey, hold up!" Kire pulled one of the flyers he had been putting up out of his satchel, "What about the 'Mommy and Me Relay'?" Saso blinked, taking the flyer that had a picture of a mother and child looking as joyous and warm as the sun.

"What's this?"

"Pfft!" Kire puffed out his lips, "Don't tell me that you've never heard of them! My mom's done it every year with me or one of my brothers or sisters! It's, like, a whole bunch of events that moms and their kids compete in against other teams! It's pretty freaking awesome!" Saso agreed: that sounded like the perfect way for his mother and him to clear out all the bad air between them.

"My mother will think it's a _great_ idea, ano sa!" Saso beamed, taking one of the flyers and rushing home.

* * *

><p>"That's a <em>stupid<em> idea, un!" Deidara scoffed, Saso's smile shattering into a frown. "I mean, a contest at Goldleaf Farms? Ugh!" He picked up a jar of jasmine oil, "The thought _alone_ makes me want to go take a bath!" Saso rolled his eyes, groaning,

"Oh! So now you're back to _hating_ messes, ano sa?"

Deidara twitched, immediately tugging Saso's ear and chastising the child, "Saso Ruby Sapphire Emerald Akasuna! You watch your tone! I _am_ your mother and you would do well to remember that, un!"

"I _do_!" Saso whined, pulling his ear out of the bird-demon's grasp, "And _any_ mother who _cares_ about their child would go to this thing!"

"Saso, enough!" Deidara clapped his hands, trying to snap the child out of his current train of thought, "_Honestly_, playing silly little games in the dirt is the very definition of 'uncouth'! With or _without_ a mother's guidance..." Saso clutched at the flyer and one of his dolls as he watched Deidara go on with his work.

Tears fell from his eyes before he shouted, tantrum rising, "Well then! Maybe I'll just try the 'Mommy and Me Relay' _without_ a mother, ano sa! In fact, I think I'll try the rest of my _life_ without a mother!" Deidara slowly turned around, mouth agape at what had just washed over his ears.

"What? _What?_ Oh, _that's_ rich, un! Yeah. Yeah, _I'm_ the one ruining _your_ life?" He stood, stomping over to the small blonde, "Have you _seen_ this place, un? _I'm_ the one who would be better off without a child!"

"Well, well, well!" Saso gritted his teeth, glaring up at his mother, "It looks like we've _finally_ found something we can actually agree on! _Both_ of us would be just _fine_ without the other, ano sa!"

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Deidara screamed, Saso rushing upstairs to get some clothes so he could leave.

* * *

><p>Everyone at Goldleaf Farms was busy working: either doing the usual farm-work or preparing for the Mommy and Me Relay. And, of course, this being the only place Saso felt comfortable enough running away to, Hidan was able to hear about everything that had happened.<p>

"Uncouth?" He shouted, handing Kakuzu and Dim Sum a heavy bale of hay to carry off to the sheds. "Deidara said that the Mommy and Me Relay was uncouth?"

Just then, Kire popped his head out of a basket of apples: chomping away on a shining, red example of the fruit. "Yeah!" He nodded, mouth full. He finished off the fruit before asking, mouth _still_ full, "Wait, what's uncouth?"

"It's not just the Relay…" Saso pushed his chin into his palm, "He probably thinks that _I'm_ uncouth, ano sa."

"No offense honey," Hidan folded his arms, "Your mama thinks _everything's_ uncouth!" Kire walked over, wiping saliva off of his lips with the back of his hand, asking,

"What's uncouth?"

"It means uncivil…" Hidan explained to the small stitch-demon, "Bad-mannered. Actually knowing how to have fun?" Just then, Kire let out a large burp, Hidan laughing, "Exactly like that!"

Saso still wasn't convinced, so Hidan walked over and patted the blonde's head, "Just give him some time and he'll come around. No mother can stay away from their kids for long." Saso pouted as he saw Kire hug his mother's leg, huffing,

"No mother should act like mine either, ano sa."

"Oh Jashin…" Hidan rolled his eyes, then stating, "Come on, there are some chores that need to be done and I need every hand I can get." The small blonde jumped down from the bale of hay he was sitting on, a bit unsure,

"Are you sure you want _my_ help? My mother says I just ruin things…"

"Stop having miserable thoughts and come on!" Hidan nudged his head over to the apple orchard: apples strewn about the ground.

Kire quickly grabbed a basket and, after making sure that his hair was okay, he waited for the albino's signal. Hidan nodded, picking up a rotten apple and chucking it over, "Catch!"

"Got it!" Kire laughed as the fruit fell into the basket. Hidan repeated the activity twice more, Kire rushing to catch the flying refuse. Saso could only watch them: eyes wide in confusion and awe,

"This is a _chore_?" He asked. Hidan nodded, his tail tossing another apple over to Kire,

"We can't sell these fucked up, bruised apples. So we gather them up for the pigs to eat! Part of why the pork from Goldleaf Farms is some of the beast you can get!" All of a sudden, Alfred popped his head in from knows where (with his _strange_ Trickster magic) and laughed,

"That's what _she_ said!"

"Shut the fuck up!" Hidan groaned, flinging an apple to hit Alfred in the face. While the two adults yelled and bickered, Kire walked over and held the basket out to the blonde,

"Want to try?"

"Um…" Saso blinked, taking the basket, "Sure?" Still busy fighting, Hidan tossed an apple towards where he thought the basket was: the rotten fruit falling to the ground. "Oops." Saso yelped, rushing over and picking up the bruised apple, "This _is_ hard work…"

"That's why we do it…" Kire began, Hidan rushing over to pick him up, "Together!"

"Huh." Saso looked away, muttering, "_My _mother never wants to do _anything_ with me, ano sa."


	18. Deidara, Let Your Hair Down Part 2

"Ugh, with a capital 'UGH'!" Deidara seethed as he walked back into his work-room with a jar of pigment base, "All my hard work, ruined! All thanks to Saso, un!" He opened up one of the drawers, looking in to see a neat, organized array of color-swatches. "Oh… Oh my. It's usually so _cluttered_ in here, un…"

The bird-demon looked from the drawer, to the straightened fragrance-shelve, to the cupboards that held all of his inks, paints, and shines. His blue eyes widened in glee as he chirped, "_Inspiration~!_" With a snap of his fingers, jars and swatches of different colors floated towards him, along with plants he had picked the previous afternoon. "Yes… Yes! OH, MY GODS, _YES!_" He trilled out in excitement as he mixed and experimented (sounding kind of like he was having an orgasm, but whatever…).

A few hours later, he set five sets of cosmetics sets and hair-style sketches on the table, nodding, "I'll call it the 'Keeping Up With the Seasons' line!" As he looked over his work, he slowly noted, "If Saso hadn't…" He immediately shook his head clear of such thoughts, "Not like I'm forgiving him, un! He shouldn't have touched my things!"

* * *

><p>Back at Goldleaf Farms, Hidan tossed a basket of grapes into a large basin and called out, "Peachy! Kasumi! Ivory! Kira!" The four cat-demonesses rushed over to respond to their mother's call: Peachy flipping her white, curly hair as she undressed down to her bra and a pair of shorts. Kasumi, a cat-demoness who had inherited her father's coarse brown hair, and Ivory, who kept her white hair long and straight (she was the most conservative out of her siblings), followed Peachy's example before helping Kira into the vat.<p>

Once they were in, shoes taken off before they had jumped inside the basin, they all started stomping and crushing the grapes: purple splashing all around as they moved. Hidan waited a moment before twisting a valve on the side of the basin: rich, violet liquid rushing into a green bottle.

Saso watched as Hidan stopped the bottle's opening with a cork before he guessed, "You're making… Wine?"

As if in an instant, Kabuto the badger-demon had rushed over and asked, "Who said 'wine'?" Hidan only shook his head, groaning,

"Not yet…" And adding under his breath, "You stupid wine-o…" When a disappointed Kabuto left, Saso walked over and explained,

"My mother would call the fashion-police, ano sa! And he would throw a fit if I came near any of his outfits after being around this stuff!" From inside the basin, Peachy laughed,

"Gods, is Deidara always such a whimp?" She gave a full-bodied jump into the grape-mush, her sisters shrieking as they were splashed. However, a wave of grape pulp-landed on Hidan: ruby eyes narrowing.

"Damn it…" He hissed. Saso immediately panicked, waving his arms and trying to divert Hidan's wrath.

"Please Hidan-san! They didn't mean—" However, in a blur of white, Hidan had stripped down to his boxers and jumped into the basin: 'fighting' with his daughters who laughed and shrieked as they all were slowly stained purple, Saso smiling as he watched them.

* * *

><p>"Phew!" Deidara sighed as he walked into the laundry-room, "Look at me, I'm such a mess!" He was hoping to clean the clothes that had gotten smudged during his work. "Just have to clean up a bit and then I can start thinking about marketing my new cosmetics-line, un!"<p>

As he removed his pants, his eyes flickered over to his former sweater. The bird-demon gritted his teeth, "Damn it that was my _favorite_ sweater, un! I can't believe Saso—Eep!" While he had been walking, he didn't see Opal, Sasori's pet scorpion, scuttling about on the floor until he nearly stepped on her. As the angered insect cleaned her pincers, Deidara looked at the shrunken sweater again.

An idea popped into his head.

Opal hissed and pinched his pincers as Deidara used his magic to get the sweater onto her: the garment fitting perfectly. "Well, _look_ at _you_~!" The blonde beamed, "It's like Saso _knew _that this sweater was _made_ for you~!"

He blinked at his words, immediately huffing, "And Saso should count his lucky stars that _this_ mistake didn't turn out _completely_ abysmal!" He 'humphed' before tossing his clothes into the wash.

* * *

><p>A large herd of sheep and rams baa-ed and bleated as they were herded together into a single rushing mass. Hidan was running on one side of the herd while Kiro rode on top of Aya on the other. Kiro looked over and called out, "One's trying to escape!"<p>

"Got it!" Hidan smirked, shoving against the sheep until it got in the right direction. Saso watched as the two led all of the rushing sheep into a corral, whispering,

"It's like he's linked to every _one_ of his kids, ano sa…"

"Way to go!" Hidan laughed as he helped Kiro get down from the panther's back, "And awesome math back there!" Kiro blushed at the compliment. But the moment was ruined when one of the sheep bleated,

"Why didn't you just _ask_?"

"Quiet talking sheep!" Kiro commanded, locking the corral gates. As they walked off, Saso sniffled,

"My mother _never_ compliments _me_…"

* * *

><p>Deidara watched his hands work with pain-staking precision as he mixed small amounts of ink and dander into the foundation and eye-shadow he was mixing. He added another pinch of dander to the eye-shadow, watching it sparkle before he nodded, "Perfect! Just one more addition to the foundation and this combo is done~!" He walked off, moving towards his supplies when he saw that both jars were empty.<p>

"SASO!" He screamed, looking around in another hissy-fit, "Damn! Where's that stupid, ugly drawing of his, un!" The bird-demon walked around the show-room until he found the drawing tossed away in the garbage. He quickly pulled it up, only thinking about how he could get the butterfly-demoness ink out of it…

When he felt his heart melt; his eyes starting to water. Saso had drawn a simple, but _beautiful_ water-color picture of Deidara and him sitting on a grassy hill in the sun. He looked at the painting once more before falling to his knees and clutching the drawing to his chest.

"Saso!" He cried, "My one and only _baby~!_" He wiped at his eyes, sniffling, "All the time I could have spent with you _wasted_ on complaining and screaming!" Deidara laid himself out on the floor, sobbing, "Sorrow! Thy name is 'me'~!" He sobbed for a moment before he shook his head, "No! I will _not_ waste _any more _time! I need to get my baby back into my arms!"

He stood up in a dramatic flourish, the sun shining through the window to bath him in light, "As the gods as my witness, I shall _never_ go hungry again!" He rushed out of the door, determined to find Saso…

Until he came back and cleared his throat, "Ahem, I meant 'I shall never go _childless_ again', un. Just wanted to clear that up." Then, he was gone.

* * *

><p>The moon was only a crescent hovering over the inky-black of the night sky. In the middle of the peach orchard, Hidan, the triplets, and Saso sat around a fire: roasting marshmallows. Saso was about to try and combine a steamy marshmallow with some chocolate when a familiar whine of<p>

"Ew..! All this dirt and not a washer to get it out of my _clothes_, un!"

Deidara struggled to dust his capris off of as much dirt as he could. He then looked over and smiled, "Saso! My gold-haired baby!" The bird-demon rushed over, holding out his hands to pick up the boy, "I've been flying all _over_ looking for you and—"

Saso abruptly turned his head back towards his s'more, muttering, "That's nice."

"Ooh," Kire whispered, "_Rejected!_" Hidan shushed the small stitch-demon, silently telling his kids not to get involved. After a moment, Saso huffed,

"Oh. Good evening Azumoji-san. Such a shock to see you here! Careful, you might get some dirt on your shoes, ano sa."

"Damn." Hidan hissed, he himself surprised at the child's coldness. Deidara had winced at all the cold comments directed towards him, but he tried to smile,

"Oh Saso… I just wanted to say how _sorry _I am. I was so silly back there, un! I'm not better off without my baby boy!" Saso was quiet for a moment, as if he was allowing the older blonde's words to sink in.

Finally, he nodded, "I realized that I'm not better off without a mother either, ano sa." He looked towards Hidan and the triplets, "Spending a day here at Goldleaf taught me that."

"Ah!" Deidara squealed, reaching towards his child, "Come on, let's go home and—" Saso smacked his hand away, reaching into his coat pocket and pulling out a court document. "Saso…" Deidara gulped, "What is that?"

"Adoption paperwork!" Saso smirked, pointing a small finger towards all the spaces on the document where he had filled in his name, "This way, Hidan can adopt me and _he_ can by my new mom!"

"_WHAT?_" Deidara screeched and when Saso rushed over to hug his mother-to-be's leg, the albino screamed,

"WHAT? Oh, uh-uh kid," He tried to gently push Saso away, "That's flattering and all but I've already got _nineteen _kids on my own!" As if ignoring him, Saso went on to explain,

"A mother is someone who cares for the child that they brought into this world, through thick and thin and all their mistakes. They love that child till it hurts, ano sa. Hidan is a _real_ mother." He nuzzled the cat-demon's leg, "A _perfect _mother…"

"Hey!" Kire huffed, Kiro frowning,

"Someone's getting ahead of themselves!"

"Besides!" Kira whined as they rushed over and tried to pull Hidan away from Saso, crying out, "He's _our_ mother!"

"Actually," Saso thought out loud, letting go of Hidan so as not to start a fight with his potential brothers and sister, "Maybe he should be _your_ mother!" That pointed statement was aimed towards Deidara, "So that maybe you could learn what a good mother is _supposed_ to be, ano sa!"

Biting back his anger was proving to be quite the task for Deidara: the bird-demon reaching over and grabbing Saso's arm, yelling, "I don't _need_ lessons on how to be a good mother, I _am_ a good mother, un! I mean… I, er… Oh!" He clapped his hands together, "Let's go home and I'll teach you how to make my favorite seed-bell! Or…" He ruffled Saso's hair, "Or I can show you the proper way to do your hair so I won't ever be embarrassed to be seen in public with you~!" Saso's glare was going unnoticed, Deidara asking, "So much fun! Right?"

Saso broke free of Deidara's grasp once again, snapping, "Let me get this straight: You want me to come home with _you_ so that we can do all sorts of things that _you_ want to do?" Deidara bit his lip, looking around before nodding,

"Yes?"

Saso only rolled his eyes, walking away with a, "Go _home_ Azumoji-san." When the blonde was out of earshot, Hidan told the triplets to go after the blonde… after having to reassure them that he was still their mother.

He then turned to Deidara, in attempt to clear the air, just to find himself tackled to the ground. "The fuck is your problem?" He hissed, Deidara squawking back,

"You brainwashed my son, un! What the hell am I supposed to do, kiss you and sing your praises?" Hidan shoved the other off of him, rolling his eyes,

"I didn't do shit! But from what Saso's been telling me all day, _you're_ the one who's been slacking in the motherhood department!"

Deidara bit his lip. He didn't want to consider what the cat-demon was saying, but he _did_ have to admit that something was wrong here. He sighed,

"Damn it… Why do you have to be so _good_ and make me look so _bad_, un?"

"Like I said," Hidan shook his head, "I didn't do anything outside of normal. Seems like you've been doing a whole lot of taking but not enough giving." The blonde's blue eyes widened in shock as he gasped,

"Of course I _give_! I give lessons! Make-overs! Advice on bettering one's self! Reasonable demands, un!"

"But do you _give_ in?" Hidan huffed, sticking his hands into his pockets, "Deidara, let's look at things in a different light. Why did you and Saso have at it today?" The bird-demon hummed, thinking out loud,

"It was a silly thing, un! All I wanted him to do was everything I told him and not get in my way! Like a good child! I mean, that's what _my_ mother wanted from me and—" At that moment, the blonde went quiet. "Oh gods…" He whispered, trembling fingers moving to his lips, "Oh gods, Hidan… I've become just like her!"

"Like who?" Hidan raised a brow, confused. But Deidara clutched at his arm, beginning to cry,

"My mother, un! That uncaring bitch..! How is it that no matter how much I tried to avoid it, that I'm still just like her?"

"Hey…" Hidan grabbed the blonde into a hug (not gentle, mushy, chick-flick-esque; Hidan didn't do that shit), "Stop crying about it. All you can do about it now is to try and fix things with Saso before things get too far gone."

Deidara nodded, wiping his eyes, "You're right, un. I have to fix this before it's too late!"

* * *

><p>The morning of the following Sunday, fireworks could be seen popping up and exploding in the skies above Goldleaf Farms with balloons of every color floating about.<p>

All about the farmlands, mothers and their children were participating in various activities: pie-eating contests, jumping rope, and plenty more. The spectating crowds (composed mostly of fathers and significant others) cheered as Tobi and Ongakuhana won the pie-eating contest.

Saso sighed, walking around the amusement with Hidan and Kira (the tiny cat-demoness being the lucky one to participate with her mother this year), "I guess it's a good thing that my mother isn't here, ano sa."

They walked past Alfred and Alexandr at the petting zoo feeding the pigs. "I mean," Saso sighed, "He would be crying out at all the uncouth things here. Like those pigs! He would insist on giving them baths, ano sa!"

There was a flourish of horns, Kira cheering, "It's almost time for the Relay!"

"Well…" Saso stayed put, "I guess I'll go get to the stands so I can watch you guys." Just then, there was a cry of,

"Saso!"

Said child turned to see Deidara rushing over: two periwinkle scarves in his hand. "Thank goodness I caught up to you, un!"

"Huh." Saso turned his head, "Here to start chastising people on their dress-choices?" Deidara shook his head, smiling,

"No! I'm here to do the Relay with you!"

Saso looked up, aquamarine eyes wide in shock. "R-really?" He asked, a bit skeptical, "You're not teasing me, are you?" Deidara knelt down, gently speaking to his son,

"I could never be that cruel, un. Come on." Saso allowed his mother to tie the scarf onto his neck in an ascot-style, watching as Deidara repeated the process on himself. Once they were matching, they followed Hidan and Kira towards the area where the Relay was to take place.

Saso was… hopeful. Maybe his mother had actually changed…

"Oh my gods! Someone get me a bucket of water and some soap so I can clean these pigs baths, un!"

…Or, maybe not.

* * *

><p>"Now here this!" Everyone gathered around the stage that had been set up in the center of Goldleaf: Obaa-san rocking in a chair as she spoke into a megaphone, Dim Sum standing close to help her out. Obaa-san frowned up her wrinkled face as she tried to readjust the megaphone, "Is this thing on?" She called out before stating, "I don't think it's on! Hello~?"<p>

Dim Sum quickly whispered into his great-grandmother's ear, the stitch-demoness huffing, "If you say so. Darn modern technology…" She whipped the megaphone around before stating, "It's time for what we've all been waiting for! The, er… um… The uh… Oh, the big race!" She looked around before adding, "There are plenty of teams of mothers and their children waiting to try and duke it out for the Mommy and Me trophy, so all of ya get to the finish – I mean – starting line!"

The line-up went like this:

There was Itachi and Mizuki,

Tobi and Ongakuhana,

Hidan and Kira,

Alfred and Alexandr,

Deidara and Saso,

The golden-haired, cross-eyed pixie Tallulah and her daughter Delilah,

And Kabuto and Ukon.

"I can't wait!" Saso whispered, just to have Ukon sneer,

"What? Can't wait to _lose_, no-talent?"

Back on stage, Obaa-san called out, rocking in her chair, "And may the best team win! On your mark…"

Everyone got ready.

"Get set…"

Everyone was set when Obaa-san accidently hit her head against the megaphone, snapping, "Gods dang it, GO!"

Everyone was off, husbands and significant others cheering from the stands. The first obstacle, which mostly everyone made it over, was a large mud-puddle. However, after Saso hopped across the mud, Deidara tripped over his designer sandals and fell face-first into the mud.

"Mom!" Saso stopped, going back. However, much to his surprise, Deidara got up, mud and all, and ran up, saying,

"Come on, don't dawdle!"

"Wow…" Saso whispered before nodding and running over with his mother. The next leg of the relay was jumping over a series of strategically placed basket. Of course, Tallulah tripped over herself on the third basket.

"Mommy!" Delilah cried out, the mellow-haired pixie rushing to her mother's side. However, Tallulah only smiled and laughed,

"Sorry about that. Clumsy me!"

Deidara rushed over the baskets, Saso hopping across them as they rushed to the next event.

* * *

><p>Alfred was the first one over the third obstacle, a tower of crates, but he didn't forget to help Alexandr up.<p>

Deidara jumped up to the top crate, but Saso was having some trouble. "Mother!" He cried out, "Help me!"

Deidara gasped before jumping down and grabbing Saso before he carried his child over the crates.

* * *

><p>Next up… A pie-eating contest. "Oh…" Ongakuhana whined as she slowly nibbled at her portion along with Tobi, "I think that I ate too much…"<p>

"Over the teeth," Deidara panted as he rushed over, beginning to shovel pie into his mouth, Saso following his mother's example,

"And past the gums!" Pretty soon they finished the treat, rushing off and leaving Tobi and Ongakuhana in the dust.

* * *

><p>They both pushed a hay-bale down a dust path past Itachi and Mizuki, especially when the weasel-demon had to stop: his surgery-stitches protesting against all of the physical activity he had been performing.<p>

"Mizuki, I'm sorry…" The weasel-demon apologized through clenched teeth, "I think that I've hit the wall." Mizuki shook his head, quietly hugging the weasel-demon's leg and looking up,

"Let's go home."

* * *

><p>Hidan was working hard to try and beat Alfred and Kabuto, all three of them tossing grapes into large vats: their kids struggling to get inside.<p>

However, Saso rushed over, already removing his shirt and shoes. Deidara shifted into bird-form and gathered all the grapes: dropping them, and Saso, inside the vat at the same time. Saso quickly began stomping on the grapes.

Deidara shifted back to normal just as Kabuto shoved Ukon inside the vat. The blonde turned the faucet at the bottom of the vat, wine pouring out to fill a green bottle. He slapped a label on it and closed it off with a wooden cork, then helping Saso back onto the ground.

"Come on mother!" Saso cheered, "You can do it!"

"_We_ can do it, un!" Deidara beamed as he rested the bottle on a stool, Saso rushing down the rest of the path past Kira and Alexandr. The bird-demon jumped onto a bench that had apples piled on, sending the fruit flying through the air…

…To be caught by Saso in a basket.

The blonde duo steamed through the Relay track, rushing into a chicken-coop and getting two eggs that they placed in spoons which were held in their teeth. "Tread softly." Deidara offered, Saso nodding as they carefully and quickly walked out of the small shed.

They actually bumped into Kabuto and Ukon, knocking their eggs to the ground.

"What the hell?" Kabuto snapped, Deidara wagging a finger after he set the eggs into a new nest,

"Language, un!" However, Kabuto grabbed Ukon and rushed passed the two blondes, shouting back,

"Up yours, you blonde bimbo!"

That statement made Deidara twitch. Then he gritted his teeth, fingers curling up into a fist. "Careful mother…" Saso gulped. But Deidara was already too enraged.

"It… Is… On… _Bitch_!" The fashionisto fumed, grabbing Saso and beginning the run towards the finish line. As the two mothers and their children rushed towards the finish line, Hidan and Alfred were left behind.

"There's no way in hell that we would win this thing, is there?" Alfred asked, Hidan shaking his head.

* * *

><p>The audience watched in total anticipation, watching as the two teams rushed towards the finish-line: neck and neck, the distance between them invisible as they came up to the hurdle before the finish.<p>

Deidara and Saso jumped at the same time Kabuto and Ukon did. All four of them fell down in a cloud of dust and, when it cleared…

There were some groans in the crowd as they saw that Deidara and Saso had fallen short of the finish line and that Kabuto and Ukon had won.

"YES!" Kabuto shrieked in joy, shoving Ukon away, "I won! _I_ won!" The badger-demon laughed and cackled as he was handed the Mommy and Me Relay trophy, "In your _face_ blondie!"

Deidara rolled his eyes, helping Saso to his feet. "Damn!" That was Hidan as he walked over with Kira, "You two almost won, it was so fucking close!"

"Not close enough, un…" Deidara sighed before looking down to Saso, "Baby, I'm so sorry." However, imagine his surprise when Saso latched onto him in a powerful hug, all smiles,

"Are you kidding? This was the best day of my _life_, ano sa! I don't care that we didn't win!"

"You mean," Deidara blinked, "Even though we lost…"

"We did it together!" Saso went on, "We actually did something _together,_ ano sa!" Deidara smiled, hugging his child to himself,

"I'm so happy that the _both_ of us are finally happy. Now…" He pouted, "I just wish I could get a nice bath to get rid of all this mud…"

As if on cue, a rainstorm began: showering everything and everyone below. At first glance, everyone thought that Deidara would pitch a fit because of the brisk water. However, Deidara happily let the water wash over him before shifting into bird-form and flapping the rest of the dirt away.

* * *

><p>GlazeFeather Boutique was awash in laughter and the groans of a poor dragon. "How the hell did I get talked into this?" Sasuke groaned as his hair now hosted a rainbow of highlights. Deidara and Saso laughed some more before the bird-demon asked,<p>

"So… What should write to Shichibi-sama?"

"Ooh!" Saso raised his hand, "I know, ano sa! Ahem, 'A mother's love is the best gift a child can be graced with in this wide, wide world. However, there are times when you'll feel as though you're at your wits' end whether you're the child…'"

"'Or the mother, un'!" Deidara interjected.

* * *

><p>Deidara was helping Saso pin up laundry, Sasuke still writing as he spoke, "'It requires an open heart and a calm mind. And it's <em>full<em> to the brim with compromise, un!'"

"'But even so'," Saso smiled as Deidara was helping him take a bath, "'As long as you both live in a home with a lot of love, everything will work out fine in the end, ano sa'."

* * *

><p>"For the love of…" Sasuke rolled his eyes, finishing off the letter and sending it off in a rush of blue flame, "Can I get out of this den of sugary-sweetness now?" Deidara rolled his eyes, sending the dragon off before he picked a dozing Saso up and carried him up to his room.<p>

The boy's dolls were up and waiting for him to return and when Deidara laid Saso in bed, they all reverted back to a slumber-like state. The bird-demon tucked the small demon in, kissing his forehead and whispering, "My precious baby boy.", before quietly walking out and closing the door.

There were still a few days until Sasori came home, and Deidara found himself listening to the radio as he read a magazine. He was using his magic to change the stations until he landed on a song that caught his attention.

_Let your plight go, boy, as you take the floor!_

_It's raining,_

_Let your hair rain down now!_

_You know your baby boy matters more,_

_So kind sir,_

_Let your hair rain down now!_

_It shouldn't matter what you wanted before…_

_Just go on curing your dear boy's frown!_

_So let your hair down,_

_Open the door…_

_Your baby boy matters more!_

"That he does honey," Deidara sighed, reclining back into his seat, "That he does…"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yay, the update is done! I'm going to go write some smut... **

**Thanks for reading, please review!**


	19. A Pox Upon Your House Part 1

**A/N: **

**Behold, I am the master of the late updates! But seriously, my time was occupied by trying to compile a group of my original stories and auditioning for a YouTube countdown video. **

**But, here I am. Updating with a chapter that I liked writing, even though it didn't turn out like I had wanted. But any who… **

**elricosis, Lyrics-for-the-Mind, Waterbomb22, KanameAngel, FMJ26, and Alexa Hiwatari… Thanks for the awesome reviews! **

**Here we go!**

* * *

><p>"Today's the day guys!" Kira's happy voice chimed out on a bright day in Adamant Falls. The cat-demoness was all smiles as she stated to her friends, the Chakra-Mark Musketeers, "We are all going to earn our chakra-marks in… <em>bowling<em>!" The other children looked up at the entrance to the bowling alley Kira had led them to.

"Whoo-hoo!" Hun barked, jumping up into a back-flip. Ongakuhana smiled and nodded,

"Mmry!" The plant-demoness had been chewing on some gum, so she quickly pulled it out and tried again, "I mean - Yay!"

"I concur." Mizuki folded his arms, Alexandr asking,

"This is the game where you throw the rocks at the white things, yes?" Kiro nodded,

"Well, let's get inside so you all can _bowl_ them over."

"Ugh!" Kire rolled his eyes, "The bad puns, they're killing me Saso! Hold me!" However, the blonde only pushed the other away,

"Quit messing around, ano sa."

* * *

><p>Inside, demons and creatures were enjoying themselves bowling and eating, just having an enjoyable time as they were overseen by a trio of the world's best bowling veterans.<p>

Mizuki carried a shiny red ball to an alley and, after trying to calculate speed and distance for ages, he simply decided to push the ball down the alley and see what happened.

The ball made it halfway through the lane before it swerved into the gutter. The otter-demon rolled his eyes before going back to sit down.

Next up was Hun. The wild-child set an orange ball onto the lane before he kicked at it: sending it flying and nearly decapitating the bowling veterans before it bounced over three lanes and into a gutter.

"Um…" Hun chuckled nervously as all the adults in the building looked at him.

Finally, it was Kira's turn. The cat-demon girl took a pink ball and struggled to carry it to the lane. However, she managed to throw it and—

The sound of a strike, all the bowling pins falling to the alley floor, filled the air; accompanied by cheers and congratulations.

"A mighty fine bowling chakra-mark!" The owner of the bowling alley whistled. Kira beamed, eyes wide in joy,

"I did it!" She laughed, looking at her hands, "I…" She went silent as she found out that nothing had changed, "What..?"

The chakra-mark had actually been bestowed onto a small demon who had been bowling in another lane. He proudly showed off the mark of a bowling ball hitting a pin on his hand as he rushed to go tell his big sister the news.

"But…" Kira sniffled, "What about _my_ ball?" The Chakra-Mark Musketeers looked towards Kira's lane, her pink ball rolling at a microscopic pace until it tapped the front pin: not even making it budge.

* * *

><p>The Chakra-Mark Musketeers walked down the streets after their time at the bowling all: laughing and commenting about it despite how depressed Kira looked.<p>

"That was actually pretty fun!" Ongakuhana laughed, Mizuki sighing,

"Yes, if the point of the game was to get countless gutter balls." Hun barked, a happy grin growing on his face,

"But at least you kept the ball in your lane! I think that I've been banned from the bowling alley for life!" The hell-dog's ears suddenly twitched as he heard something falling to the ground. Shifting into his other form, he rushed off and found Tallulah struggling with a heavy load of packages.

"Little help?" The cross-eyes pixie asked. Hun barked, picking up the box and helping the pixie deliver them to Town Hall before he rushed back to his friends.

"Delivering things is nice…" He sighed, shifting back to normal. Mizuki was about to say something when Kira nearly bumped into him: still sulking.

"Ne, Kira-chan!" Ongakuhana smiled, "Come on, cheer up!" Kira stopped walking, but she didn't cheer up in the least. However, Saso snapped his fingers,

"I know _just_ what you need to put the light back in your eyes!"

* * *

><p>The children found themselves in <em>Swirl<em>, Ongakuhana pushing over a cupcake that she had bought with her small pocket change. "A treat from _Swirl_ will cheer you up!" Kira frowned at the cupcake before pushing it away,

"No it won't."

* * *

><p>Streamers and horns filled <em>Swirl's<em> party-room as Tobi placed a party-hat on Kira's head and laughed as he jumped around, "A party will cheer you up!"

Kira still frowned, sighing, "No it won't."

* * *

><p>Next came GlazeFeather Boutique. Sasori finished putting together a fluffy, pink boa and tossed it over Kira's shoulders, insisting, "A brand new look will cheer you up!" Kira shrugged the accessory off, shaking her head,<p>

"No it won't! None of this will!"

* * *

><p>So the Chakra-Mark Musketeers walked along Adamant Falls' roads, Kira picking up her pace and walking ahead of the others. "Come on Kira-chan!" Kiro called over, "It's just a chakra-mark!"<p>

Kira puffed out her cheeks, whipping her head around to hiss out, "It's easy for _you_ to say that! _You_ already have yours!" After that sudden outburst, she shifted into kitten form and bolted into the Yonko Forests, ignoring the others' cries of warning.

* * *

><p>"I'm never going to get a chakra-mark…" Kira sniffled as she walked through the dark, over-grown thickets of plants and fauna. She was too busy wiping the tears from her eyes that she didn't even realize that there was a prominent root sticking out of the ground until her foot caught on it: sending her screaming and falling over a ledge and right on her face. "Ow!" She sobbed, pressing her hands against her mouth as a sudden rush of pain flooded her senses.<p>

"Who is it that has journeyed here?" Kira, still covering her mouth, looked around as the voice echoed through the forests. There was a whirl of icy wind before Ivan the Baba Yaga could be seen walking over and smiling, "Oh, it is my young friend Kira dear!"

"Ivan!" Kira smiled, wincing at the pounding pain, "How are you today and… why are you still talking in rhyme?" The cream-haired male sighed before explaining,

"Ever since the Night of Fright, Alfred has found my rhyming _just_ right…" Kira blinked, looking around,

"But… Alfred isn't here right now."

"Oh, thank the merciful heavens!" Ivan heaved a sigh of relief, finally breaking out of the rhyme-cycle. "Ahem. Now, you seem to be in pain young one." Kira nodded before opening her mouth: running her tongue against a chipped fang. "Oh, you have broken a tooth."

The Baba Yaga offered his hand to the small cat-demon, "Come along. I shall be healing your tooth before helping you find your way back home." Kira nodded, following the large male into the snowy part of the Yonko Forests.

* * *

><p>"I've tried <em>everything<em> Ivan!" Kira sobbed as she sat on the kitchen counter inside of Ivan's mansion, "But I _still_ don't have a chakra-mark! It's like I'm going to be as old as Obaa-san and _still_ have no talent!"

Ivan smiled as he grabbed a few different bottles of elixirs from the cabinets, then read a jar of dried fruits as he spoke, "I am understanding your frustration young one. But all good things to those who wait, da?"

Kira whined, looking out the window, "I've heard that from every demon I know! And now from every _Baba Yaga_ I know!" Ivan poured in a drop of each of the elixir jars into a pot boiling on the stove, reaching for the dried fruit jar as Kira insisted, "I'm too impatient to be patient! I would do anything, _anything at all_ just to have a chakra-mark…"

Ivan was about to add a single dried fruit to the jar when Kira popped up beside him, "Right _now_!" The yowl jolted the Baba Yaga into dropping the whole jar in: a large explosion of pungent smoke surging up. "Sorry…"

"I am afraid that you will still have to wait," Ivan shook his head, rubbing the back of his palm where his own snowflake magic-mark lay. He grabbed a ceramic mug from the counter, explaining, "Now, about your fang…" He handed the cup over, Kira sniffing at it for a moment. "Drink it all down, if you please." Ivan explained, bottling the rest of the potion to sell since he had made too much.

Kira nodded before taking a sip, finding the concoction palatable, before she downed the rest. Then she waited.

Her teeth felt tingly all of a sudden and she ran her tongue over them just as her fang stretched out into its original shape. "Wow…" She blinked, the pain gone, "Ivan, you did it!" At that moment, wide ruby eyes looked up and around the kitchen: potions, herbs, and strange fruits lining all of the shelves. "You can cure almost _anything_, huh?"

"Well," Ivan chuckled, bottling the rest of the dental-tonic and putting it in the pantry, "Not _everything_, but I do try to keep up with what few needs I am being able to help out with." Kira nodded, reading through some of the bottles,

"Bad bones, more hair, good luck, better sex—"

"_Okay _my dear," Ivan gave an unsteady chuckle, his face splashed crimson as he gently moved Kira away from _that_ shelf, "Let us be curbing your curiosity before your parents are wanting to kill me…"

Even though Ivan was dragging her away from the shelves, Kira's wide eyes couldn't help but take in the sight of all of them…

And then her mind was struck by inspiration. She looked up at Ivan, twiddling her fingers, "I bet you could make up a potion that could fix, well… _Anything_." She ended that statement by batting her eyelashes up at the Baba Yaga.

However, Ivan only frowned, "I may have plenty of brews here. But none of them would be able to help with _your_ problem, young one." He walked away towards the counters, "Time is the only remedy for what you are seeking."

"Fine." Kira huffed, pouting as she folded her arms.

"Good." Ivan smiled before going to work on something new. He grabbed a jar of purple dust, pouring some into a bowl. He then formed three icy daggers in his hand throwing them behind him. They cut through the branches of a berry plant growing in the ceiling: purple fruit falling into a mortar, a gust of wind picking up the nearby pestle and beginning to crush the berries into a thick paste.

"Oh," Kira blinked, looking at the scene, "What are you working on now?"

"A special order has been placed here for a rooster-demon and his wife," Ivan explained, walking towards the table where a basket lay. Reaching into it, he continued, "It is seeming that he has a sore throat, making it quite difficult to crow." He finally pulled out a large, pink flower with petals shaped like full lips and seeds shaped as hearts.

"Hey!" Kira walked over, "That flower's been in bloom all over Adamant Falls! What is it?" Ivan smiled before explaining,

"This is a bloom of Heart's Desire. Just a pinch should be more than enough for this potion." The cream-haired male shook the flower over the bowl, a few seeds and a petal falling in. "It is good for reminding one of their talents and giving them their one true whim."

"Wow…" Kira whispered, watching the pestle mix the potion to a fine cream. "Heart's Desire…"

"Nyet!" Ivan gritted his teeth, looking on top of the refrigerator, "I told Alfred not to mess around with my amethyst powder! Now I must go see if Sasori has any I can borrow so I can finish this potion!"

"Okay…" Kira waved him off as he rushed out the door, "You do that…" When the door closed, her eyes flitted over to the Heart's Desire plant and a new clean bowl…

* * *

><p>The next morning at the Adamant Falls Primary Academy, play-time was in full swing: kids running here and talking there.<p>

"I wonder what we're doing in Iruka-sensei's class today." Ongakuhana wondered, Hun scratching at his ear and whining,

"Whatever it is, I hope we get it done fast. I'm _starved_!" Kiro was about to ask Kire if he had seen Kira when the small cat-demoness strolled through the yard.

When she was sure that everyone's eyes were on her, Kira smiled and turned around: holding up her hand which now held the mark of a whip.

Ongakuhana's orange eyes widened before she gasped, "Kira-chan! You got a chakra-mark!"

Everyone instantly rushed over to see Kira and her new chakra-mark, commenting and whispering about it. At least until Hun tilted his head and asked, "What is it?"

"It looks like an 'S'." Mizuki commented before asking, "Is your talent spelling?"

"But Saso here is the dictionary!" Kire laughed, leaning against Saso who quickly moved to the side, allowing the stitch-demon to fall to the ground.

"Is it beef jerky?" Hun asked, rubbing his tummy, "I'm _so_ hungry!" But Kira only smiled and shook her head,

"Nope!" She then reached behind her and brought out a leather whip that had been split into nine lengths, "It's a cat o'nine tails!" Then she gave a sharp crack of the weapon, grabbing a flower off of a nearby windowsill. "My dad was saving this for me when I got older, but I've been practicing and I guess it stuck as my special talent!"

"Congratulations!" The other Chakra-Mark Musketeers cheered as Kira whipped the whip again, startling a bird out of its nest. However…

"That's _it_? Twirling a rope?" Sakon asked, Ukon adding,

"What a waste!" Before they both started to laugh. However, Alexandr only frowned,

"And your talents are being spoiled and annoying. I am thinking you should be reconsidering your words." Before a fight broke out, Kira smiled,

"Oh, you haven't seen _anything_ yet!" The white-haired child skipped over to a wall of painted posters. She licked her lips before she flicked the whip towards each painting, whipping them into new designs.

The playground was awash in cheers, Sakon and Ukon's chins dropping at the spectacle. "Kira-chan, you're amazing!"

"Thanks everyone." Kira blushed at all the praise coming her way, subconsciously whipping the whip into various letters and shapes.

Just then, the Academy bell rang out: Iruka stepping out and calling, "Time for class everyone!" He raised an eyebrow as he saw that none of the students were heeding his call.

"Having a bit of trouble?" Kakashi smiled as he saw the dolphin-demon beginning to tremble from anger.

"Hey!" Iruka shouted out as he walked over to see what was distracting his students. However, when he saw Kira showing off her talent _and_ a sparkling new chakra-mark, he couldn't help but smile at the cat-demoness's happy face. "Kira-chan, why don't you give us all a show in your new talent?"

"Of course!" Kira beamed. Everyone slowly began to file into the school, the Chakra-Mark Musketeers still commenting on their friend's new talents.

However, the white-haired girl had barely touched her foot against the threshold of the door when Sakon seized her hand and shouted for one and all to hear, "I knew it! She's a fake!"

"What?" Kira panicked, looking at the hand Sakon had grabbed. Her eyes widened as she saw that another chakra-mark had suddenly appeared… In addition to the whip one on her other hand. "No…" She shook her head before insisting, "No, they're not!" Ukon frowned before walking up to Kakashi and Iruka, asking,

"Iruka-sensei, Kakashi-sensei, have you ever heard of someone getting _two_ chakra-marks?"

"Well…" Iruka scratched his head, "It certainly is quite unusual…"

"But," Kakashi explained, "There are creatures with marks on each hand due to their amount of raw chakra. Like our resident Royal Guardsman Kisame." Sakon huffed, letting go of Kira,

"But both of _those_ chakra-marks are the same! A demon can't have two _different _marks!"

"Well, maybe she has two different talents, ano sa!" Saso insisted. But Ukon only snapped back,

"Oh yeah? Let's see you do _that_!" He pointed to Kira's new mark which depicted a pair of roller skates.

"Ooh, I think there's a pair in the sports-shed!" One random demoness stated, another rushing over and getting the needed tool. The other students bum-rushed Kira and got the skates on before she could even defend herself.

However, as she slowly balanced onto her feet, it seemed as if she was already at home with them: spinning around once.

"Two chakra-marks?" Mizuki watched in awe, Hun whooping,

"Two talents!" Kira looked at the two things she was doing at the same time and beamed,

"Wow! Okay everyone," She rolled over to the center of the crowd and asked, "Who wants to see a _real_ talent show?"

* * *

><p>Much to Iruka's chagrin ('Damn it, Kakashi, you can't just make impromptu vacations like this!'), Kira skated into town: whipping at certain things, her classmates and teachers following behind her. As Kira sped through the streets, other demons stopped what they were doing to watch her display <em>two<em> amazing talents.

She turned the whip into a hoop which she quickly jumped through before grabbing the whip and using it to pick a bouquet of flowers. Skating down the road, she gave a flower to every mother she saw: making sure to save a couple of them.

At that moment, Sasuke could be seen flying through the sky. Kira smiled before cracking the whip towards him, the dragon so shocked at the sound that he coughed out a rush of flame.

"Come on!" Saso insisted, pulling Sasori and Deidara to see what his friend was doing, "Look, look!" Kira looked over and cracked the whip over Deidara's hair: the bird-demon's scrunchie falling apart and his hair falling flat.

"But flat hair isn't in this season~!" He whined.

Tobi was bouncing around town, making cookie deliveries, when he abruptly stopped due to Kira skating around him.

And, finally, Kakuzu, Hidan, and Obaa-san had been tending to a produce stand when they saw Kira skate by, whipping things as she went.

"Is that what I think it is?" Kakuzu asked as he tried to get a good look at Kira's hands. Kira smiled before skating over and handing a flower to Hidan and two to Obaa-san.

"Hey!" Hidan called over, tossing a cherry pie into the air. Kira nodded and quickly skated over, whipping the pie into eight edible slices. She then grabbed eight plates from a nearby picnic table and set them out, the pie slices falling perfectly on each one.

She was so happy. Kira couldn't help the few tears that dropped from her eyes as everyone cheered around her.

* * *

><p>"Congratulations Kira-chan!" Later that night at Goldleaf Farms, the family had sat down for a special dinner. Hidan and his older daughters had pulled out all the stops in a celebratory meal for Kira's achievement.<p>

"Let's take a moment," Kakuzu began, holding up his glass, "To toast to our youngest family member getting not one—"

"But _two_ chakra-marks!" Hidan whooped, everyone else calling out,

"Kanpai!", with their glasses held high. Kira was positively radiant at the praise… Even though her feet kept rolling in mid-air underneath the table and her fingers were itching to get back to whipping.

Ginger smiled at her baby sister, adjusting her glasses as she spoke, "Research indicates that this is quite the feat."

"Such a _stunning_ one at that!" Peachy smiled, Dim Sum nodding,

"Mm-hm."

"Never seen anything like it in all my days…" Obaa-san smiled, using a cane to walk over to Kira's chair, "The way you were whipping and skating around reminded me of when _I_ was a little girl and – Ack!" The old stitch-demoness coughed as she accidentally threw out her back. "A little help!"

Kakuzu rushed over and helped straighten his grandmother out, Obaa-san patting him on the head. But Kiro and Kire wanted to keep the praise-train rolling, the younger stating,

"You could totally be a super-star! We should go hit the streets and get you famous!"

"Actually…" Kira yawned, feeling sleepy all of a sudden, "I really want to hit my pillow… and my blankets… I'm really tired." She hopped out of her chair, skating over to the staircase, "Good night everyone. And thank you." As she walked up to bed, Hidan couldn't help the smile on his face.

He and Kakuzu had done it: even after both of them coming from bad childhoods, they had managed to raise a perfect family.

"Kira's finally found her light, hasn't she?" The albino asked his husband, Kakuzu giving a quiet nod in response.

* * *

><p>It was the middle of the night at Goldleaf Farms. Everyone had been sleeping in their beds, the animals in their sheds and barns, and all was still.<p>

In the main bedroom, a shirtless Kakuzu lay sleeping with his arms around Hidan when a tap-tap-tap echoed into the room.

At first, he ignored it.

But then the tapping got worse: more insistent, louder.

"Mrm…" He groaned, muttering, "The hell are those kids doing..?" After a moment, Hidan had heard enough of the other's distress and sat up, yawning,

"I'll go see what's up." The cat-demon grabbed a robe and tossed it over his shoulders before walking into the hallway, trying to track the sound.

He followed it to the room that Kiro, Kire, and Kira shared, immediately frowning, "Really guys, it's 3 in the morning…" However, when he opened the door, he was almost knocked over by Kiro and Kire rushing to hide behind him in fear. "What's going on with you two? And what's with all that Jashin-damned…" He trailed off as he looked in the room.

His eyes first keyed in on seeing two small, roller-skate clad feet tapping against the ground. "Tapping?" It was Kira- the poor cat-demoness still whipping at things with one hand, and tap-dancing in roller-skates.

"The hell is going on here?" Hidan whispered before he got a good look at Kira. He gasped as he saw that a new chakra-mark had appeared on her shoulder: a tap-dancing shoe. "_Three_ chakra-marks?"

"Help me…" Kira whined, her eyes wide and pleading.


	20. A Pox Upon Your House Part 2

**A/N: Season 2 is already ending, I can't believe this! And it's becoming such a movement (Celebrity-run advertising campaigns for the Season Finale, seriously?)!**

* * *

><p>"Hidan!" Kakuzu called out as he walked into the room, "Did you find out what's going – The hell is this?" When her father walked in, Kira cried,<p>

"Make it stop~! Please!" Hidan immediately rushed over, trying to get the whip out of his daughter's hand. But he was only whipped away, rubbing his stinging hands as he was forced to step back.

Then Kakuzu tried to grab her so she could get her feet off of the ground, but he was kicked away.

"That's what happened to _us_ when we tried to help her!" Kiro explained, Kira crying out,

"I'm so sorry! I don't know how to make it stop!" Hidan helped Kakuzu to his feet before musing aloud,

"I know _someone_ who might."

* * *

><p>Tapping rang out inside of the Adamant Falls Library, Kira still tapping and whipping away as Kakuzu and Hidan brought her to Itachi's attention. Itachi, holding a fussy Miyu in his arms, shook his head, "<em>Three<em> chakra-marks… _Three_ talents! I've never seen anything like this before!"

"Neither have we, that's why we came here!" Kakuzu insisted. Itachi handed Miyu to Hidan, looking through the bookshelves,

"I _was_ just reading a book on unusual illnesses earlier today. Where did I leave it..?" He looked through a couple of books before Sasuke's voice called down,

"'Disturbing Demonic Diseases'?" Itachi turned to see his brother bringing down the exact book he was looking for.

"Thank you…" Itachi whispered before skim-reading through the tome, trying to find something that resembled what Kira was going through.

The book abruptly fell to the ground: Itachi trembling as Hidan asked, "Well, what is it?"

"..kra…x…" Itachi murmured, Hidan asking again,

"What was that?" Finally, Itachi stated,

"Chakra Pox."

"WHAT?" Kakuzu and Hidan both shouted, the stitch-demon panicking,

"That can't be! The Celestials killed that disease off 300 years ago!" Itachi shook his head, picking up the book and reading out,

"'The Pox of Chakra, or Chakra Pox, is one of Terram's most notorious diseases. Known most for the debilitating effect it had on the city of Konoha and its surrounding principalities during the reign of Kiyoshi the Second.'"

"The reign that ended with Konoha having to be burnt to the ground," Sasuke gulped, "And rebuilt anew?" Itachi slowly nodded, reading on,

"'Random Chakra marks appear all over the body of the afflicted, forcing them to perform what the marks depicted against their will.'"

"Just like me!" Kira stated, still trying to stop her feet and hand.

"Yes…" Hidan cleared his throat, "But that book has something along the lines of a cure, right? Right?" Itachi flipped from the front of the book to the back of the book, but he could only give a solemn shake of his head.

"There's no known cure."

"NO!" Hidan shouted, Itachi reading out,

"'To this day no one knows what brings about the Pox of Chakra. And it, like the summer winds, vanishes as mysteriously as it comes.'"

Kira, still tap-tap-tapping away, shook her head, "Oh no…" Just then, in a flash another chakra-mark appeared on her wrist: a peony blossom. "Aiya! 另一个分数 (Another chakra-mark)?" She blinked at what she just said and asked the adults in the room, "这是什么？我在讲中文(What is this? I'm speaking in Chinese?)"

"My baby's speaking in Dragon!" Hidan screamed, Itachi taking Miyu back and using his magic to create a medicine-mask for the infant and saying,

"She needs help!"

"News flash of ten weeks ago, Itachi!" Kakuzu snapped, "And there's no way in hell we can wait for this to go away! We need to find a demon to cure her!"

"快速(Quickly)!" Itachi thought for a moment before he snapped his fingers,

"Not a demon… But a Baba Yaga!"

"Ivan!" Hidan realized, the group of them rushing out of the library to try and find him.

* * *

><p>However, as they rushed through town, it was obvious that Kira wasn't able to keep up with them: her tapping and skating hindering her movements. "Hurry…" Hidan yowled, Kira shouting,<p>

"给你突进我 (Don't you rush me)!" At that moment, _another_ chakra-mark appeared on her elbow: a hammer and chisel. She yelped as she was dragged by some unseen force towards a slab of granite which she, after grabbing a hammer and chisel, quickly sculpted into a sculpture of a demoness standing in a clamshell.

Another mark on her neck: this time of a chimney brush, had her rushing towards every chimney in town: scrubbing them clean: ash and soot covering her form head to toe.

The mark of a guitar appeared on her cheek: the small girl rocking on a pink guitar as she skated and tapped down the street.

The next one appeared on her shoulder: a fishing-rod that caused her to grab one of the instruments and cast it out into sea, immediately bringing up a huge tuna.

Three Go pieces appeared on her nose, forcing her to challenge the resident deer-demon Shikamaru into a game and actually winning before a bamboo-sword mark had her challenging a swordsman into a duel.

Sasuke couldn't help it, he had grabbed a bucket of popcorn and was watching the show when flower-demoness Ino shouted, "She's cursed!"

Kira could be seen walking on a clothes-line as if it were a tight-rope.

"Hexed!" Rose, the companion of the town time-lord, insisted.

Kira then bungee-jumped from the tallest building in town, cherry-blossom demon Sakura yelping, "Enchanted!"

"No she's not." Sasuke finished off his popcorn, the floral trio sighing in relief. Sasuke opened his mouth to speak again, Kakuzu shouting,

"Sasuke, no!", but the dragon was already talking,

"She just has some horrible, incurable, highly contagious disease known as the Chakra Pox."

"CHAKRA-POX?" Everyone in town screamed, immediately reverting to chaos-mode: mothers whisked their children indoors, the local police force barred off the area, forcing everyone back at least ten feet.

"Wait!" Hidan hissed, "You bastards, that's my daughter!"

"You can't get near her!" One of the police officers commanded, "She could be highly contagious and we can't have this thing spreading!"

"Mama…" Kira sniffled back tears as she was forced to remain tapping, "Papa…"

* * *

><p>The sun was on its way behind the mountains and everyone was still being held back by a crew of demons in haz-mat suits. The streets around Kira were empty, the only sounds being the murmurs of the residents and Kira's tapping.<p>

That… and the dialogue of a news-reporter talking about the scene. "It is hour five in Pox-Watch. Authorities have succeeded in keeping everyone away from the infected child for the time being, but who knows when this deadly disease could spread." She walked over to Kakuzu and Hidan, beckoning for the cameraman to follow her, "Here we have the parents of the infected child—"

"Get that camera out of my face before I break it." Kakuzu frowned, Hidan hissing,

"And that _child_ has a name, Jashin-damn it!"

"Hey!" The trio looked up to see Alfred flapping his wings in eagle-form, calling behind him, "Ivan, come check this out! I think it's a parade or something!" However, the Baba Yaga solemnly looked around at the panicked glances and official forces in the area.

"Haven't we passed the being afraid of me stage?" He sighed. But Alfred landed and frowned,

"You didn't _rhyme…_"

"Oh, sweet merciful…" Ivan groaned before rolling his eyes, "I thought that I was quelling all fears, the last time that I had journeyed here." The Baba Yaga looked around, commenting, "But there is not an open door or window in sight. Perhaps I should have come during the night." The Trickster Spirit bit his finger, a slight blush dusting his cheeks,

"So awesome!"

"It's not because of _you_ Ivan," Itachi insisted, pointing over to Kira who had started solving equations on a chalkboard, "Kira has the Chakra Pox! We were just on our way to see if you had a cure for it!"

"But there's no need!" Hidan gave a hopeful smile, "'Cause you're here and—Did you sense this coming?" Ivan shook his head, all mirth gone from him as he explained,

"Nyet. I had come home, hoping to finish some of my potion orders, when I saw that all of my stores of Heart's Desire had suddenly vanished… _After_ I had a visit from Kira." After that, he jumped over the barricade: not paying the police any mind as he walked over to the now bench-pressing demoness. "Well?" He folded his arms, "Are you knowing what happened to my flowers?"

"Um…嗯，你明白(Well, you see…)" Kira began before the mark of a sponge appeared on her cheek. She was dragged over to a window, immediately dipping a sponge into a bucket of soapy water and washing the gleaming surface: the demons behind it grabbing and placing medicine masks on their faces.

Ivan shook his head before reaching into his satchel and pulling out a handful of gold and black seeds, "There is only one cure for Chakra Pox, I have found in all my travels, and it is this."

"For gods' sakes, give them to her!" Kakuzu shouted. But Ivan shook his head,

"The seeds by themselves shall do nothing my friend. They must be planted in the ground and even _then_… They only grow upon hearing words of truth and purity."

"Aiya…" Kira gulped. But Hidan only grabbed the seeds and, after Kakuzu quickly dug a hole in the ground, he dropped them in.

"There, they're planted!" Kakuzu then stated for one and all to hear, "Now someone needs to tell the truth or I start busting heads!" Everyone in the vicinity looked to each other, no one saying a word.

Just then, _another_ chakra-mark appeared on Kira's body: a tornado that forced her to spin around at high speeds.

Tobi, who stood trembling on _Swirl's_ doorstep, was sweating bullets before he admitted in a sob, "Yesterday Tobi told someone that we were out of chocolate-chip cookies… But Tobi really ate them all!"

The seeds were still.

Mrs. Cake walked out of _Swirl_, patting her large stomach as she stated, "I've been lying about my age to gain admittance into the Adamant Falls Silver Bell club: the age of admittance is 60… And I'm only 45~!"

The seeds remained stationary.

The news reporter looked around before admitting, "I only got this job because I'm sleeping with the head of the network!" She then broke down into a sobbing mess, the seeds in the ground still unmoving.

However, after being spun to the point of nausea and the over-all situation taking its toll on her small body, Kira finally wailed out, "NO! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" She didn't know that the other Chakra Mark Musketeers had broken through the barriers just as she explained, "I didn't earn my chakra-mark! All of these are fake!"

The seeds finally twitched, Kira going on to continue as her body stopped spinning, "Ivan told me that Heart's Desire helps you get what you want most. So when he left his house, I took the rest of the Heart's Desire and made a potion out of it!"

That sudden admission was the bit of truth the seeds needed: a black and gold sprout breaking through the ground and growing into a shimmering blossom. However, there was only a second of admiring its beauty before Ongakuhana ripped it out of the ground and took it over to Kira: allowing the cat-demoness to deeply inhale its pollen.

She gave a sigh of sheer relief as he body finally found rest: the chakra-marks all disappearing one by one before she slumped onto the ground. "Kira-chan…" Ongakuhana reached out and helped the other to her feet, "Are you okay?"

Kira nodded as the others walked over, "Mm-hm. And I've never been happier to be a no-talent." As relieved as she was, however, she gulped as her parents walked over: the both of them looking none too happy. "Am I in trouble?"

"Damn straight young lady." Kakuzu nodded, Hidan agreeing,

"You need to apologize to everyone for lying." Kira nodded, looking to her friends,

"I'm sorry… I was just so desperate for a chakra-mark that I was willing to do _anything_. I really got carried away." She then walked over to Ivan, bowing her head, "And I'm _so_ sorry Ivan. I betrayed your trust," She sniffled back her drying tears, "I can understand if you never want me to come by again." Ivan shook his head, petting the white-haired child between her ears.

"It is meaning the world to me that you were mature enough to admit your actions. And," He looked to her parents, "I would ask to be in charge of her punishment: she could come by after school and help me with my potions… Since she shows so much promise."

* * *

><p>It took a few hours for the haz-mat crews to deem the town a safe-zone and after that, and the news-reporter giving a sobbing plea over the air-waves for her job back, Kira sat at the dining table in Goldleaf Farms: Sasuke chewing on a piece of beef jerky as he wrote what Kira stated,<p>

"'Dear Nibi No Nekomata,

Waiting for what you want the most can be really, really, really, really –'"

"Sweetie…" Sasuke gritted his teeth, "I kind of have places to go." Kira blushed and nodded,

"Sorry. Um, where was I?" She counted off on her fingers before going on, "'You may get so desperate that you try to take a short-cut. But lies and cheating always come to light, and you didn't really _earn_ what you wanted. Honesty is the best policy, and good things come to those who wait.'" Sasuke quickly signed off the letter before he rolled it up and exhaled a rush of blue flame, sending the note off in a cloud of ash. "Thanks Sasuke!" Kira waved the dragon off as he took his leave, sitting back down and grabbing the milk and cookies that were left on the table. "I guess…" She mumbled around a cookie, crumbs rolling onto her cheeks as she looked at her bare hands, "I just have to be patient."

There was a sudden, abrupt rapping at the kitchen door. Kira opened it up, revealing the other Chakra-Mark Musketeers.

"Mizuki thought of something great!" Ongakuhana beamed, quickly lowering her voice, "For someone who's never made a potion before, you made a really _big_ one!"

"Maybe we could try potion-making for our marks!" Hun smiled, Kira's eyes going wide as she replied,

"Of course! Let me go get my brothers!" As she shifted into kitten-form and walked into her and her brothers' room, her main thought was:

'_I've been patient enough…'_

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Oh Kira, you're just too adorable for your own good. Thanks for reading guys, please review! **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	21. Four Carats!

**A/N: Hey guys! Just decided to add a mini-update to this story for the sake of the fact that I've been absent for ages. So… yeah. Mini-chapter GO! **

**Based on the 'Hole in One' song/game from Rhythm Heaven. **

**Disclaimer – I own nothing.**

* * *

><p>The week after Sasori had come back from his trip, he was super-charged with ideas and inspirations for his work. Of course, he needed raw material for his clothes. That's what found Sasori, Deidara, and Saso walking into the stone quarries near Adamant Falls.<p>

The red-head was carrying a shovel, and Saso was pulling along a wagon, Deidara keeping a wary eye out for anything suspicious as he carried along a radio.

They soon found themselves at the center of the quarry, Sasori explaining as he had Saso leave the wagon a while's away and Deidara leave the radio by his feet, "I can feel it deep in my bones that there are gems here waiting to be dug up." He looked to Deidara and Saso, "If you two could be so kind as to search for them and toss them back?"

"But…" Saso began, "How will you get them back to the wagon, ano sa?" Sasori chuckled, spinning the shovel in his hands,

"You just let _me_ worry about that, okay?" Both of the blondes nodded before walking off in separate directions.

They didn't even have to move that far before Saso held up a small sapphire that he had dug up, "I found one!"

"Alright then," Sasori smiled, positioning the shovel like one would a golf-club, "Toss it over!" Saso shrugged his shoulders before tossing the gem over. Sasori smirked, snapping his fingers: the radio turning on with some peppy music. The red-head then swung the shovel, sending the gemstone flying with a firm smack.

The wagon had been enchanted to follow the trace of gemstones and, when the sapphire flew over it, it rolled to catch up before it caught the gem in its hold.

"Here we go!" Saso called out, tossing over a ruby. Sasori sent it flying, the wagon rushing to get it. Saso laughed, seeing the whole thing as a game with his whole family.

He rushed along, picking up more gems and tossing them to Sasori: the red-head smacking them over to the wagon in a more fun version of golf.

But, really, how hard do you have to work to make golf fun? I mean, anything, _ANYTHING_ is more fun than golf!

But anyway, ranting over. Saso had thrown over quite a few gems when Deidara chirped over, "Danna~!" Sasori looked over and saw Deidara holding up an emerald as big as one's fist. Copper eyes went wide as Deidara hurled it over, Sasori gasping,

"My gods, _yes_!" As he sent it flying with a smack of his shovel towards the wagon. Saso, not one to be beaten, tossed over another rush of multi-colored gemstones: opals, tanzanite, sapphire, all sorts. And Sasori sent them all over to the wagon with well-practiced swings of his shovel.

"Yoo-hoo~!" Deidara smirked, holding up a large diamond. Sasori was practically drooling as that gem was quickly added to the bunch.

* * *

><p>While the small family was working, a familiar dragon was making a few rounds in the sky above. Sasuke had been sent to deliver a package, but he had found himself distracted when the scent of gemstones wafted across his nose.<p>

"Hm?" He looked down and saw Sasori, Deidara, and Saso playing some weird game. But all he was focused on how gems would occaisionally come up to his height before being caught by the wagon.

An emerald flew up towards him, and Sasuke gladly opened his mouth: enjoying the snack. "Keep them coming guys." He smirked, stopping his errands for a bit.

* * *

><p>Below Sasori was busy smacking gems towards his wagon: anticipating the hoard that they would have by the time this was done. The music was providing excellent atmosphere as well. Saso had tossed over three diamonds, Deidara following with a large opal.<p>

Sasori sent them all flying, the opal not making it into the wagon due to the greedy dragon overhead. However, the fashionable family was too busy having fun to notice.

The song had almost finished when Deidara gave a sharp whistle, using his magic to bring a massive baby-blue sapphire out of the ground. Sasori held the shovel out towards the wagon smirking, "I'm sending it home, darling!"

"Not if I have anything to say about it," Sasuke smirked, licking his lips.

With a sharp grunt, Deidara sent the gem flying and Sasori put all his strength behind a heavy swing of the shovel.

There was a loud, resounding smack as Sasori hit the sapphire out of the park…

_Way_ out of the park. The impressive gem went flying out of sight, Sasuke rolling his eyes, "Damn it…" Before he flew off.

And down below on the ground, Sasori whimpered out and raised a hand towards the vanished treasure. "No…" He whined, "Come back!"

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, in the Luminescent Valley, the leader of the Vampire Music Troupe: the stuffy brunette Roderich had just bought a new piano.<p>

He readjusted his glasses as he admired the instrument's polished cherry-wood finish. "You're beautiful…" He smiled. Roderich reached a gloved finger towards a key to test the instrument's sound—

There was a loud cacophony of chaos and destruction as a massive, baby-blue sapphire crashed down from the sky and into his piano. The vampire looked at the scene for a moment, eye twitching, before he screamed, "Oh, fuck me!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Poor Roderich. He was hassled by Tobi at the Shooting Star Ball and now he can't even buy a new piano. **

**Oh well. Expect an actual update later on this week.**

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	22. The Essence of Heroics Part 1

**A/N: Okay, I realize that I'm uber-late with this but I know the reason this time. **

**1 - My Microsoft Word got devoured by a computer worm so I'm forced to go back to OpenOffice.  
><strong>

**2 - These two chapters were PAINFUL to write! Partially the reason why I'm doing two updates instead of one is because I was originally trying to write an update inspired by 'May The Best Pet Win'... I nearly died, writing Kisame and Zetsu like that was _agonizing_! And when I decided to scrap on that, I started on this one just to realize that I would have to make this an update that focused on Alfred.  
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**An update based on ALFRED!  
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**God, help us all.  
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**Disclaimer - I don't own anything but my ideas.**

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><p>"Attention everyone," A young voice called out of a small meeting room inside of <em>Swirl<em>, "Attention!" Inside, a small group of teenage demons had come together to discuss their latest obsession. As you would probably notice, the teens of Adamant Falls are extremely fickle. They had gone from swooning over The Great and Powerful Mary-Sue to now fawning over the town Trickster Spirit Alfred.

"Like, the meeting of the official Alfred fan-club is up and running!" All around the room there were pictures and Trickster Spirit memorabilia depicting the blonde Trickster and everyone in the room had fake feathers in their hair to mimic the male.

"Let's get down to the first order of business," Another teen spoke up, "I move that Alfred should be given the title of the coolest guy in Adamant Falls!" Everyone in the room cheered at that...

Everyone except the girl up front who frowned, "_Please_... The word 'cool' is, like, so last season! I declare that he's the most stupendous in Adamant Falls!"

The two teens argued back in forth, using all the big words they had in their repertoire (which really weren't that many) before a voice called forth, "I declare that Alfred is the most Awesome, Amazing, Incredible, _Awe-Inspiring_ guy in all of Adamant Falls!"

"Whoa..." The two teens blinked at all the big words before nodding to each other, "All for declaring... Um... All of that, say 'I'!"

"I!" Everyone in the room cheered, not noticing the blonde Trickster Spirit of the hour standing outside of the window that peered into the room, chuckling to himself as he walked off.

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><p>The current circumstances were these: with Kisame being either too busy with water-watch, taking care of his children, or attending to matters with the Royal Guard, he wasn't in the spotlight as often as he used to be. Sure, he was still highly respected, but it was more of a reverence rather than celebrity.<p>

So, who came to fill that gap?

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><p>Flying through the air with sand-toned wings and a head full of crisp, white feathers, Alfred used his eagle form to pierce cloud after cloud.<p>

He finally stopped for a rest in one of them, shifting into normal form and taking a quick snooze in the soft, white fluff. "Mm..." He sighed, "I may be far from home but at least the clouds are the same..."

A snore hadn't even passed his lips before, all of a sudden, cries of fear and panic rushed passed his ears.

"Help me!" A child cried, "Someone, please help!"

Alfred peeked over from the side of the cloud, trying to follow the sound of the pleas of help. He followed the cries to a nearby well, puffing out his chest and stating, "Looks like my nap will have to wait!" Shifting into the form of an eagle, he swooped down towards the well; not even thinking twice as he crashed through the well's rotting wooden lid and dived down, down, down into the abyss.

The commotion drew in a group of creatures who were waiting to see what was going on. One of them was about to look inside the well and nearly got his head lopped off when Alfred flew back up, a small elf girl clutching onto the feathers on his back.

As he landed, helping the blushing girl to her feet. He blinked as the group of creatures around started cheering for him, asking, "What's all the hubbub bub?"

"Well you _did_ just save someone!" The wolf-demon Kakashi stated, Alfred shaking his head,

"It was really no big deal..."

"To me it was!" The elf-girl smiled, "You're my hero Alfred!" The crowds cheered again after that, Alfred blushing before he flew off.

"Wow..." One of Alfred's teen fans sighed, "That Alfred sure is _something_."

"Something special..." Her friends nodded.

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><p>Later on in the day, a female satyr was walking around the upper part of town with her baby in a stroller. However, she was jostled by a trolly rushing by and let go of the stroller for a second, just a second.<p>

Imagine her horror when the stroller began sliding downhill towards a cliff. Her screams and the babies cries echoed all throughout town, finally reaching Alfred's ears as the Trickster Spirit was walking out of an ice cream parlor. He quickly downed the dessert he had just bought, hissing and clutching at his head, "Ow, ow! Brain freeze!"

He then shifted into buffalo form and charged after the stroller. The poor baby was still bawling and crying out for his mother as the stroller got closer and closer to the cliff's edge.

Taking a leap of faith, Alfred grabbed the stroller's handle with his teeth and dug his hooves into the ground, hoping that he would slow down their momentum. Much to his and everyone else's relief, the stroller slowed to a stop right before the front wheels could fall over the edge of the cliff.

Immediately, everyone else was sent into a cheering frenzy: Alfred, that daring Trickster, had done it again! The blonde changed back into his normal form, waving and blowing kisses at his audience. But then... He looked into the stroller, gasping, "Oh my gods! There's something wrong with the baby!"

The crowd gasped, a few creatures passing out from shock. But then, with a happy smirk, the blonde Trickster Spirit pulled the little baby satyr out of the stroller and stated, "Someone's not cheering for Adamant Falls' newest hero!"

Amongst all of the laughs he got for that joke, Alfred carried the baby back to his mother: cameras flashing as they took pictures of the event. And while everyone was all a-twitter about what had just happened, Itachi, Hidan, Deidara, and Tobi walked over.

"Whoa..." Alfred's fan-club swooned, "There are, like, no words to describe that awesome Trickster!" Itachi shook his head,

"I can think of a couple..." Hidan couldn't help but give a scoff,

"And 'modest' sure as hell ain't one of them..." With a whoop and a holler, Alfred was up in the skies and off: flapping powerful wings as he went.

"No..." Deidara sighed, "But he sure is special, I'll give him that, un."

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><p>The Adamant Falls Silver Bell meeting was going on later that afternoon, the town's older citizens walking onto the balcony of their meeting building. Yet, when an older male walked out, there was an ear-splitting crack.<p>

Immediately, all the old creatures began screaming in fear of their impending deaths as the balcony kept cracking apart. "Quick, someone get a ladder!" Someone on the ground called out. But, just then there was a cry of,

"Have no fear! Your friendly neighborhood Trickster is here!" Alfred rushed into the fray, transforming into a large rattlesnake. He wound himself around the balcony, using his strength to keep it steady before hissing out, "Do you guys have a ladder yet?"

Two demons rushed over with ladders, quickly helping the elderly creatures to safety. As soon as they were all down, the Trickster slithered down, shifting back to normal just in time for a crowd to form around and shower him with praises that included:

"You're the best!"

"We love you!"

"We'd be lost without you buddy!"

He jumped up into the air, flapping eagle wings as he cried out, "I can't _hear_ you!"

"ALFRED! ALFRED! ALFRED!" Oh, how the blonde soaked up all their praise... Almost to the point of getting a big head as he danced around in the air, performing all sorts of loops and dives.

"Call me silly..." Itachi commented as he and the others watched Alfred fly through the air, "But I think all this is going to Alfred's head." Tobi nodded,

"You just might be right... Silly."

Cue an Itachi-brand face-palm.

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><p>To try and make sure they weren't being to critical of Alfred's actions, the ukes had brought their significant others to <em>Swirl<em>. "I... am literally speechless." Ivan frowned as they all watched Alfred stroll back and forth in front of his fans, a pair of designer sunglasses on his face as he recalled,

"And then, against all odds and apparent threats against my life, I dived into that well! Who cares if I ended up with a broken arm or leg, I _had_ to save that poor, defenseless elf-girl! After all, 'Danger' is _my_ middle name!"

"Well?" Tobi asked Ivan, the Baba Yaga blinking,

"Well what?"

"Is his middle name 'Danger'?"

Zetsu shook his head as everyone continued to watch Alfred strut around the bakery like the proverbial peacock of the garden. "Thinking back to that moment," He added, turning to Naruto whom he had hired to keep a recollection of everything he said and did, "I was pretty damn heroic back then..."

"Pretty damn heroic back then to blowing smoke out of his ass ever since." Kakuzu took a drink from the coffee he had ordered before handing it over to Hidan. Before anything else, Alfred rushed over and grabbed Ivan,

"Picture time! Time to be immortalized with the Hero!"

"Wait, what?" Before the Baba Yaga knew it, a series of pictures had been taken. "Oh, get off!" He fumed, an icy wind forming inside as he stomped back over to the group's table. "So proud of yourself that you refuse to write down your own boastings!"

Alfred laughed, not noticing Ivan's infuriation, "I'm too busy saving lives to be bothered with simple things like _writing_. Yep, I'm pretty important alright..."

The members of Alfred's fan-club quickly lined up for pictures, the others still shaking their heads. However, Kisame didn't think that Alfred's behavior was anything _too_ bad. "Just let him have his fun," The shark-demon smiled as Miyu grabbed for his nose, "He's not doing anything bad or anything..."

"I reckon I'm just as important as the Royal Guard if not more!"

Kisame's smiled quickly sank into a frown.

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><p>The following week, a line of creatures all decked out in memorabilia depicting Alfred's visage stood in front of Alfred waiting for autographs. "There you... go!" He smiled as he signed a photo for a small girl who beamed,<p>

"Someday I want to be just like _you_ Alfred!"

"Aw..." The Trickster smiled, "Don't aim for the impossible sweetie." He signed two more autographs, a sudden cry grabbing everyone's attention. A demoness had taken her hot air balloon out for a ride when a rip suddenly formed, sending her plummeting.

"Um..." One of Alfred's teen fans asked, "Aren't you going to save her?"

"In a minute, in a minute," Alfred signed another poster, "I've got a good ten seconds." And finally, after signing another picture, Alfred shifted into eagle form and flew after the balloon.

Though the poor demoness was scared out of her wits, Alfred leisurely flew towards her without a care in the world.

"Will he be able to do it?" Naruto bit his lip as he wrote down the events, "Will Alfred save the day again and –" Suddenly, there was a shout of,

"'From the depths of shadow,

Fear my might!

For I come to spread the light!'", followed by a thunderclap. A blanket of storm clouds rolled in and with them, they brought a new figure.

They landed on the roof of one of the houses, long white hair waved in the breeze along with their slim, grey cape. They were dressed in a skin-tight, black body suit and had thigh-high boots, their face was hidden by a black mask with their eyes being obscured by silver goggles.

The figure disappeared in a poof of glowing blue smoke, reappearing on different rooftops until they jumped up and grabbed the demoness, allowing Alfred to crash into the balloon and fall to the ground in a crumpled heap.

"Wow..." Itachi gasped as he stood in the center of the crowd, "They came out of nowhere!" Naruto agreed,

"I've never seen anything like it!" Tsunade chuckled as she walked to the center of the crowd, explaining,

"That's right folks, Adamant Falls has a new hero!" The figure gave a silent nod before disappearing in another blue cloud of smoke, "A figure of shadows who came like a bolt of lightening to do good in our town: Shadow-Bolt!" As everyone cheered, Alfred struggled to free himself from the mess he had gotten into, fuming,

"That bolt-brain better _stick_ to the shadows – Come on!" He finally had to resort to cutting himself out, "Adamant Falls only needs ONE hero and it's ME!"

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><p>The next day, things went back to normal in Adamant Falls. As in, another disaster was rearing it's ugly head. A tourist bus had lost control of its brakes, its passengers screaming and panicking as they waited for their deaths as the vehicle sped downhill...<p>

Towards the _exact_ same cliff that the baby had almost fallen from.

"Damn it Shizune!" Tsunade fumed at the nursing-demon, "Didn't I say to block off that road?"

Nevertheless, the bus was quickly approaching the edge. Luckily, Alfred charged up alongside the bus in buffalo-form. He cleared his throat before stating, "Have no fear! Your friendly neighborhood-"

"Cut the stupid motto and SAVE US!" One of the creatures in the car screamed. Alfred rolled his eyes before jumping in front of the bus and trying to dig his hooves into the ground. However, the bus's momentum overtook him: forcing him out of the way as it pushed along.

"No!" Alfred shouted. It looked like the bus passengers were goners... Until...

"'From the depths of shadow,

Fear my might!

For I come to spread the light!'", echoed out, followed by a thunderclap. Shadow-Bolt jumped in from out of nowhere and stood right in the bus's path. The dark figure then held out his arms, bracing himself for impact.

The bus collided with them, but they didn't flinch as they used their muscle strength to slow the bus down. The vehicle pushed forward a bit but it came to a halt just before the cliff's edge came into view. The bus's passengers quickly rushed out, thanking the gods that they were back on stable ground.

"Oh, thank you Shadow... Bolt?" One of the demons tried to say, but Shadow-Bolt was already rushing off into the distance.

"I don't believe this..." Alfred shook his head as he stood to his feet, "Shadow-Bolt is stronger than _me_?" He shook his head, "Heroics are more than muscle! He'll learn that the _hard_ way..."

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><p>There was a new apartment building being built in Adamant Falls, a group of trolls, gnomes, and other creatures working to get the project done as soon as possible. The head of the project was working the crane that helped bring new building materials to the construction-zone.<p>

"Just a few more support-beams," He nodded to himself, "And we can call it a day." He moved on of the levers that controlled the crane to the left, about to press a button to raise a few steel beams to the top of the project.

Out of nowhere, the control box began smoking and sparking: the crane swinging the beams into the potential building skeleton. Immediately, the structure began falling apart: sending debris everywhere.

It was a mad dash for safety as all of the construction-workers and engineers tried to save their own hides.

"Have no fear!" Alfred called out as he rushed onto the scene, hoping to the gods that he could actually snag the spotlight this time around. "Your friendly – Oh shit!" He was constantly interrupted by falling debris, however, even when he tried to jump into the fray, he had to struggle to dodge all of the falling debris.

"Look!" One of the workers called out, pointing to a stationary crane. Sure enough, there was a cry of

"'From the depths of shadow,

Fear my might!

For I come to spread the light!'"

Shadow-Bolt jumped down from the crane, deftly sweeping through the falling wreckage in bounds and maneuvers worthy of a military regiment. "Go get Shadow-Bolt!" An on-looker called forth, crowds cheering as Shadow-Bolt hefted a worker up and carried them over to an area clear of the chaos.

They did this two more times, Alfred watching with growing rage until he noticed a worker who was being blocked from escaping by falling bricks and steel. With a smirk, Alfred rushed over and just as a pile of bricks was about to land on them both, the worker found himself clutching onto the back of a buffalo.

"Oh, thank goodness!" The worker sighed. He abruptly screamed, pulling on Alfred's coat as the Trickster struggled to dodge the still-falling debris. By the time they both made it to a safe area, the structure that had been worked on for so long had been completely demolished.

"There ya go!" Alfred smiled as the worker sat down to catch his breath, "Safe and sound! See that _Shadow-Bolt!_" He sneered over to the dark figure, "Who's a hero _now_? Huh?"

"Actually," The head of the project frowned, "He saved _all_ of us! We owe him our _lives_!" Shadow-Bolt nodded, giving a salute before they rushed off: some of the workers trying to follow and congratulate some more.

"_Fucking.._." The blonde hissed, shaking his head, "Okay, he's fast, strong, agile, and somehow knows about things before they happen..." He sighed, shifting into eagle-form, "I need to step up my game..."


	23. The Essence of Heroics Part 2

**A/N: So painful... So... very... painful!**

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><p>One of the greatest gifts that Adamant Sea City gave to Adamant Falls was the power-generating damn that helped keep the waterfall in check and provided power for at least three towns. It had been built a few centuries ago, however, so there were a few cracks and chinks here and there.<p>

But as Alfred flew by, he noticed one of the cracks being larger than the others: water dripping down the ceramic finish. "Oh _no_!" He gasped in an over-dramatic fashion, "If the dam breaks, the town will be flooded! … Sweet!"

Quick as a whip, Alfred flew down to the dam and placed his wing over the crack. He smiled, "Aw yeah! My game is _back_ on! Huh," Looking around, he couldn't help but give a pout, "A shame that no one's around to give this hero a pat on the back. Oh well," He removed his wing, "Guess I'll have to do it myself."

No sooner had he let go that the dam _did_ break, sending water, concrete, and a young Trickster into the valley. "HELP!" Alfred screeched, his feathers getting too wet for him to fly or even change back to normal. "Someone, _HELP!_"

The frigid water surged forward through the valley, the blonde struggling to find something to stop his impromptu swim. By sheer luck his body was stopped against a fallen tree being held in place by... "Oh, come _on!"_ Shadow-Bolt shook their head before jumping over to a solid piece of land. "If you want me to thank you, you've got another thing..." Alfred's rant was cut short as he watched, with wide, shocked eyes, as Shadow-Bolt performed a group of hand-signs. Slowly but surely, the pieces of the dam floated back over to their original spots. "You've _gotta _be kidding me!" The blonde groaned, pulling himself up onto the tree. "That's not fair!"

Shadow-Bolt ignored him, continuing their work until the last piece of ceramic was sealed into place. And, sure enough, there was a crowd of spectators cheering for Shadow-Bolt's stunning heroics. The dark figure performed a small bow before running off.

"Let me," Alfred began, breaking off into a series of coughs, "... Get this straight... This guy is strong, fast, can see the future, _and_ he's magic? _Come on!_" He groaned, falling onto the grass, "How the hell do I compete with that?" However, he had a small revelation,

"Wait a minute. He can't fly. I _can_ fly! I'm still awesome and – Oh gods, WHY?" At that moment, Shadow-Bolt could be seen floating through the air: his dark outfit draped over the shape of an elegant bird.

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><p>"Have you <em>seen<em> that Shadow-Bolt in action?" Kakuzu asked as he walked over to the group's table as they met at _Swirl_ for another meet-up, "We're in for a new age of heroics it seems."

"I was really impressed by the spell he used to fix the dam." Itachi nodded, Alfred pouting in his own little corner of self-pity. "It seems like something of that caliber would take a _lot_ of studying to do."

"And he _really_ cares about the safety of others." Zetsu added, Sasori chiming in with,

"And have you seen their outfit? Simply to die for!"

"And they're modest," Kisame smiled before stating in a voice loud enough to get to Alfred, "They let their actions speak for themselves!" Ivan agreed,

"It _is_ an admirable trait-"

"Oh, _whatever_!"

Alfred jumped up, fuming and ranting, "You guys are acting like _Shadow-Bolt_ is the greatest thing since sliced-bread! Well, he's not!" Meanwhile, Naruto (still trying to get the money Alfred promised him) was still writing down everything that was going on,

"Alfred thinks... that Shadow-Bolt is great..."

"NO I DON'T!" The Trickster snapped in the Kitsune's face. Ivan could only shake his head,

"It is seeming like someone is jealous."

"No I ain't!" Alfred refused, Naruto writing,

"Alfred is jealous-"

"Stop writing that!" The Trickster was reduced to gnashing his teeth in anger, especially when the others started laughing at his envy.

Naruto could only shake his head as he wrote, "Correction: Alfred is _extremely_ jealous."

"Oh, fuck off!" Alfred stormed towards the front door, "I'm gonna have the last laugh when I prove that I'm just as good, hell, _better_ than Shadow-Bolt!" And with a heavy slam of the door, he was gone.

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><p>Alfred flew through every nook and cranny of Adamant Falls, desperate to find some source of trouble he could help out with. Unfortunately for him, it was looking like a perfectly peaceful afternoon. "No out of control buses, no runaway baby-carriages, no fires, no floods – Damn it!"<p>

He landed on a roof, giving a sad squawk, "How am I supposed to prove myself when everything is so damn peaceful and – Wait, what's that?"

Down below on the street, Obaa-san was slowly moving along the street with her new walking stick. "Yes!" The Trickster smirked to himself before jumping down and stating, "Don't you worry lady, I can see that your brittle old bones are overwhelmed with the thought of crossing this street."

"What ails you boy?" The old stitch-demoness frowned, yelping as Alfred began shoving her across the street, "What are you doing?"

"No need to fuss!" Alfred shook his head, "We'll be there in a jiffy!"

"I can cross just fine, darn it!" Obaa-san gritted out, Alfred still ignoring her. At one point Obaa-san even tried sitting down to stop Alfred's assault but the blonde pushed her on anyway, messing up her skirts.

Finally, they reached the other side of the road. Alfred took a moment to smile at his achievement, "There you go!" His cheek quickly made acquaintance with Obaa-san's basket as she shouted,

"I didn't want to cross the road anyhow! Freaking idiot..."

Alfred rubbed his cheek as Obaa-san slowly walked away, shouting back, "Yeah, well don't call me when you need help getting all of that sand out of your vagina lady!"

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><p>"Muffin-time!" In the middle of the local park, the golden-haired pixie Tallulah had set up a small picnic for her and her daughter Delilah. Delilah grabbed a muffin and silently asked her mom for some jam. "Sure thing!"<p>

Tallulah grabbed the jam jar and tried to open it, finding it a tough squeeze. "Hold on a minute..."

"Stand clear ma'am!" Alfred rushed over, snatching the jam-jar away, "You need to let a professional handle this!"

Alfred tried to turn the lid, finding it a tough task indeed. "Come on... Freaking... FUCK!" After a few minutes, he looked around, "Where's Ivan when you need him?"

Tallulah rolled her crossed eyes before grabbing the jar and taking a wand out of her pocket that she used to loosen the container so that Delilah could get to the sweet spread inside. "Um..." Alfred gulped, "Ta-dah?"

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><p>However, no amount of useless deeds could get Alfred out of the mind-set that his time in the sun was over and done. "Man..." He groaned as he sat on a tree branch, looking over the town, "All everyone talks about is Shadow-Bolt this and Shadow-Bolt <em>that<em>! Why~?" He looked down and saw three of his former fans wearing Shadow-Bolt memorabilia, "How could they forget about me so fast? I haven't changed! Yeah!" He nodded to himself, "They're the ones who are in the wrong! But..."

Sky blue eyes swept around, "Why am _I_ alone then?" A low growling from below turned his attention to see Alexandr and Boris standing at the base of the tree. "Hey!" The blonde beamed, "What's up? Came to see a _real _hero get things done?"

"Nyet," Alexandr shook his head, "But I was needing to find you. The mayor is hosting a rally for Shadow-Bolt this evening and -"

"Go away Alexandr!" Alfred snapped down, "If you're going to hop aboard this 'Shadow-Bolt obsession' train then leave me out of it!"

With a heavy sigh and a shake of his head, Alexandr picked Boris up and walked off leaving Alfred to stew. And boy, did the blonde Trickster stew. "Can't believe they want me to lower myself to that freaking vigilante... The nerve!"

However, he soon had a thought, "Wait a minute. Heh... Wait just a minute..." A devious little smirk grew on his face, his Trickster blood coming to light as he jumped down, calling out, "Alexandr! Wait for mommy!"

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><p>With posters, streamers, tons of balloons, and spectators as far as the eye could see, the celebratory rally for Shadow-Bolt had been set up in record time and was shaping up to be quite the spectacle. "Ahem..." Tsunade cleared her throat as she walked up on stage, "I want to thank everyone for coming out here tonight."<p>

In the midst of the crowd, Alfred could be seen gritting his teeth harder and harder.

Tsunade continued, "Now, let's get to honoring our new hero Shadow-Bolt!" Said figure jumped onto the stage, giving a simple wave to the masses.

Alfred decided it was time for him to shine. He jumped onto the stage and moved right into Shadow-Bolt's face, shouting, "So, _Shadow-Bolt_! You think you've got everyone fooled don't you! _Well_, guess what? I AIN'T FALLING FOR IT!"

Shadow-Bolt backed away a few steps, Alfred continuing to rave, "Why don't you show us your face, if you're _so_ great, _so awesome_..." He reached for Shadow-Bolt's mask, the other figure dodging out of the way and eventually running off. "Come back here!"

And the chase was on. Shadow-Bolt rushed through Adamant Falls' alleyways, Alfred in hot pursuit of the masked figure. After a few minutes of chasing, Alfred decided to take a quick detour in order to catch the other off guard...

Just to find that the other had vanished. "What the..?" Footsteps from behind him told him that somehow Shadow-Bolt had managed to avoid him. So Alfred chased after him again, not for very long before a sharp whistle signaled that Shadow-Bolt was rushing down _another _alley.

"The hell is going on here?" The blonde Trickster asked before he shifted into a cobra and slithered up to a nearby roof. "Alright, where is that smug bastard?" He hissed, forked tongue slipping out at every word.

As if on cue, Shadow-Bolt slowly walked into view. He looked from left to right, trying to make sure that the coast was clear, with every step that he took.

"I'VE GOT YOU YOU NOW!" Alfred shouted as he leaped from the roof, tackling Shadow-Bolt into the dusty ground. "Alright tall, dark, and 'mysterious'!" Alfred hissed, fangs at the ready, "Time to see who you _really_ are!" Quicker than the eye could see, the Trickster ripped the mask away, "Mystery – WHAT?"

Who was the face that looked up at the stunned blonde? Why, the Baba Yaga Ivan of course! "But..." Alfred shook his head, shifting back to normal out of sheer confusion, "I don't – HUH?"

"Calm down dorogoy," Ivan sighed, "You are going to hurt yourself." Just then, another figure walked over: _another_ Shadow-Bolt.

"There's _two_ of you?" Alfred asked, all of this making his head spin. The new Shadow-Bolt removed their goggles and mask, revealing the face of... "Itachi?"

"Sorry to be tardy to the party." A familiar voice came from yet _another_ Shadow-Bolt who, after uncovering his face, turned out to be Kakuzu. And Alfred's confusion increased _again_ as two more Shadow-Bolts revealed themselves to be Kisame and Deidara in that order.

"There were _five _of you?" Alfred squeaked out, Ivan explaining as he was able to stand,

"Da. We were all playing Shadow-Bolt at separate times. I was the original..."

"And _I_ stopped the bus from crashing," Kakuzu smirked, flexing his arms, "With these bad boys."

Then Kisame added, "I was the one at the construction-site. All of those moves were Royal Guard teaching material." Itachi then explained,

"And I used my magic to fix the dam -"

"And I flew by afterwards!" Deidara interjected with a flip of his golden hair.

The other members of their little group soon caught up to all the ruckus, Sasori stating, "And the costumes were all _my_ design. Stunning work, if I can say so."

But Alfred wasn't impressed, happy, or surprised. He was severely discouraged at all this as he took a few steps away, shaking his head, "I don't get it... _Why?_" The others didn't see how much this was affecting him until he turned around, tears in his eyes, "What did I ever do to you? Why would you make fun of me like this?"

"We were not making fun!" Ivan quickly tried to remedy the situation, "Please, still your tears."

"But then why?" Alfred pushed Ivan away, "Don't you want me to be a hero?" Now came time for Kisame to explain,

"Being a hero is more than show-boating and gloating. Your heart is in the right place, you just got a bit carried away."

Alfred gave a slow nod, "Oh, I get it..." A soft chuckle broke past his lips, "I guess I did kind of brag a little-"

"A _LITTLE?"_ Everyone shouted, Alfred holding his hands up in defense,

"Okay, a lot!"

"Your actions will always be appreciated," Ivan began, "But you can not rub them in everyone's faces." Of course, Tobi would take this opportunity to jump in,

"Yeah, the only thing that needs to be rubbed in anyone's face is triple-chocolate cake!"

After an awkward silence, Zetsu offered, "I think what he's trying to say is that one must always to remember to act with grace and humility."

"Oh!" Alfred nodded in realization, "That's what this was all about! Okay, that makes _tons_ more sense!"

Before he knew it, a piece of paper and a pencil had been tossed over, Itachi smiling, "Sounds like someone needs to write a letter about what they learned today."

"Already got it taken care of!" That was Naruto, the Kitsune bounding over with a scroll in his mouth, "As your ghost-writer, I've penned this letter for you free of charge! Now," The younger blonde frowned, "About my payment-" Alfred suddenly gasped, pointing behind the Kitsune,

"Oh my gods, a ghost!" That succeeded in two things: one, sending Naruto running (leaving the letter in his wake), and two, sending Tobi running in the same direction as everyone laughed at the fear of the two.

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><p><strong>AN: Thank GOD that painful update is over with that. Well, now we can go to a good update: The next two chapters! **

**Thanks for reading! Please review!  
><strong>

**-Tyranno's girl.  
><strong>


	24. Champagne Wishes, Caviar Dreams Part 1

**A/N: Now _this_ update was fun to write. Hope you guys enjoy it!**

* * *

><p>Condos and chateaus as far as the eye could see...<p>

Golden trolley-carts running along gilded paths...

And towers made of multi-colored glass made specifically for catching either the light of the moon or the sun and bouncing it back all over the city they stood in.

This was Luminescent Valley, the city of fashion and the latest trends. And in the center of it all stood the luxurious mansion of the deity of light Juubi No Iruka. It was inside of this splendid manor that the proud deity was leading his former apprentice Akasuna Sasori, his fiance Deidara, their son Saso, and their pets through.

As soon as they walked to a certain suite, however, Sasori gasped in shock-laced awe, "_Here?_ We get to stay _here_?"

Said suite had all the best furnishings, sheets and drapes made of silk, ivory bathroom with spa-attachments, and a glorious view of the city. And it was _huge..._

"Well, it's a part of the house that _never_ gets used," Juubi huffed with a smile, "And I can't have my former apprentice staying in some dingy, average hotel while he's here visiting, now can I?"

"This is so thoughtful, un!" Deidara looked around the large space, bowing to the gold-haired deity, "Thank you!"

"Oh, don't worry your pretty head about it," Juubi hummed. However, he looked over to Sasori, the scorpion-demon rushing over,

"This is _so_ generous of you! Thank you!" He bowed down, prostrating himself in front of the powerful being. "We're eternally grateful! I don't know _what_ to say but thank you!" The redhead kissed his former teacher's shoes, "Thank you!" Kiss. "Thank you!" Kiss. "Thank you, thank you, thank you~!"

After a moment, Deidara had to shake his head, "Danna, you're embarrassing me, un!" Finally Sasori stood back up, not before uttering another three 'thank you's to which Juubi smiled,

"You're very welcome. I'm _so_ generous and kind, how could I not?"

Just then, heavy panting could be heard from the doorway, the concierge who was in charge of the mountains of Sasori's and Deidara's luggage heaving as he struggled to carry everything in. "Your luggage kind sirs!"

"Well then!" Juubi beamed, "I'll leave you all to get settled." As he walked by, he waited for the concierge to bow (despite his heavy load), before leaving the suite completely.

"Thank you!" Sasori shouted after the dolphin-deity. At that moment, there was a loud thud as the concierge collapsed with all of the luggage on top of him.

"Where would you like these put... sirs?"

Saso walked over, tugging one of the suitcases away as he stated, "That's fine, ano sa."

* * *

><p>All around, you could see demons walking down the streets with their noses up in the air, elves strolling down the block, so skinny you would wonder how they were standing, and the occasional limo would drive up to drop a Kitsune or a sphinx off to do some heavy shopping with daddy's credit card.<p>

Watching all of the creatures walk by in the latest fashions was hungry work after a while, so Sasori, Deidara, and Saso had stopped by a quaint cafe for some brunch. "Darling?" Sasori asked Deidara as he sipped his cappuccino. After taking a bite from his order of crème brulee, Deidara replied,

"Yes danna?"

"Do you know what I _love_ about Luminescent Valley?" Sasori asked, taking another sip before he answered his own question, "_Everything_!"

"I know just how you feel, un!" Deidara beamed, "We may live in Adamant Falls, but we are _definitely_ Luminescent folks at heart!"

While the two adults were talking amongst themselves, Saso was trying to force himself to eat the sandwich he had ordered, whispering, "Hidan's sandwiches are better..."

"Now," Sasori began, taking out his wallet, "I know that we're here to pick up fabric and hues for the Boutique, but I do feel as though we should make something for Itachi's birthday."

"Oh definitely!" Deidara agreed, "Something with Kisame in mind too because he was so generous as to loan us the money for this trip." So they came to an agreement, looking around for inspiration when a young model walked by in a stunning, sparkling gown and hat combo.

"Perfect!" Sasori smiled, "This weekend, Itachi will have a stunning new ensemble to paint the town with! Oh, isn't this city just _wonderful_?" As the small family continued their meal, they didn't notice a young, stuffy couple walk past. Nor did they notice the bleach-blonde demoness whisper to the male before they strolled over.

Sasori had just reached for one of the complementary rolls at the table when he felt himself being watched. He looked up and saw the demons from before looking down at him. Deidara handed him a napkin, with which he quickly dabbed his chin with as the male demon spoke, "Excuse me, I'm Jet Settington and this is my wife Uppity. We saw you three from across the street and wanted to ask -"

"Where _did_ you get that marvelous chapeau?" Uppity asked, referring to the large blue sun-hat with a jeweled rose that rested on Deidara's head. "Not to mention," She took a close look at Sasori's face, "Who does your work?"

"Ah!" Deidara smiled, readjusting his hat, "You have good eyes, un! This little beauty is just something that danna here made for me!"

"And my wonderful complexion," Sasori explained, "Is the work of my love's discerning eyes and expertise. In fact, we-"

"Hey!" A voice called out. They all looked and saw a pudgy demoness in dirty clothes rushing up to them, "Sasori, Deidara, and little Saso!"

"Hi!" Saso beamed, recognizing the demoness as one of the owners of the cow ranches in Adamant Falls.

Immediately, everyone around was looking over with discerning glares and harsh whispers. But the dusty demoness didn't seem to notice as she went on, "Well, lookie here! So good to see all of you here so far from Adamant Falls!" Jet and Uppity blinked before turning to Sasori and Deidara, Jet asking,

"You're from... _Adamant Falls?_"

"Um..." Deidara bit his lip, Sasori gulping out,

"Yes, well-"

"I _thought_ they looked a little, ugh, _rusty_." Uppity sneered, Jet huffing,

"Definitely something not of Luminescent Valley stature. A waste of valuable time indeed." Then, turning their noses back up into air, they walked off.

Saso could only frown, "That was rude, ano sa." However, his parents were devastated: Deidara's eyes welling up with tears.

* * *

><p>After a day on the town, the trio walked into their suite. Opal and Gold-dust were happy to see their masters back, but Sasori and Deidara didn't seem to notice. "'Rustic' they said..." Sasori gritted his teeth as he grabbed a mannequin from the closet and a scroll of paper with a piece of charcoal.<p>

"'Not of Luminescent Valley stature' huh?" Deidara bit his lip as he grabbed three jars of cosmetic base from his bag along with his idea journal. With a snap of his fingers, Sasori had put on his glasses and had begun sketching up a storm while Deidara wrote out idea after chart after idea. Saso could only watch from his bed as they worked, stating for one and all to hear,

"We'll show them something up to Luminescent Valley stature!" A series of lines and words rushed across paper until finally, they stepped back and admired their plans for an outfit and make-up ensemble worthy of royalty.

* * *

><p>Thus, the next morning found the family quickly walking down the streets: hands full of bags from three different supply stores. "No time to dally!" Sasori spoke up, "These new ideas are tres magnifique!"<p>

"We need to get started right away, un!" Deidara agreed, both adults ignoring how Saso was struggling to follow them, what with his hands so full. "Oh, and remind me to send a letter to Itachi to let him know to expect something _incredible_ for his birthday!" Suddenly, Saso tripped on his shoe-laces, falling into his parents and sending them flying into two other demonesses who had been walking down the street. "Oh Saso..."

"Sorry..." The small demon added. Sasori quickly used his magic to try and gather everything that had fallen out of the bags, apologizing in advance,

"My sincerest apologies ladies!" He helped get a bag off of one demoness's head while Deidara pulled a roll of fabric from the other.

When they did, Sasori gasped at the faces that were revealed to them. The first was a female scorpion-demon dressed in a copper suit, her red hair cut into a boyish style. The other was a bird of paradise demoness with her long, platinum-blonde hair washed down her shoulders in thick waves while her body was dressed in a short, blue dress. "Fashion-mistress Sakome..." Sasori whispered in awe, Deidara blinking at the blonde,

"And elite model Deianne?"

"Well..." Sakome smiled as Deianne dusted her off, "That's _one_ way to make an introduction." Once they were both settled, Deianne placed a hand on her lover's shoulder and struck a pose: a squad of paparazzi rushing over to snap pictures before they rushed away.

"Oh gods!" Sasori shook his head, "We are _so_ sorry! We just had so many purchases..." Deidara picked up a few things, adding,

"And we were trying to get back to our suite at Juubi's mansion..."

At that statement, Sakome and Deianne's eyes widened: the redhead asking, "You're... staying at Juubi's?" Sasori nodded,

"He's allowing us to stay while we're in town, ugh, such a mess!" Deidara was about to pick up the bag of make-up supplies when he found it floating away, Deianne smiling,

"Demons of expensive tastes I see." She then struck another pose, more paparazzi rushing in out of nowhere.

"Yes, just for a project we've started on." Sasori stated and, after making sure they had everything, bowed, "Again, _so, so_ sorry for bumping into you!"

"I'm not." Sakome's voice stopped the two males in their tracks, "You two are obviously demons worth knowing." Sasori and Deidara regarded the designer with shining eyes as she continued, "Hey, I'm going to be at the Charity Martial Arts Exhibition of Lord Sanbi's Royal Guard. You should come, join us in my private box with a few companions."

"Us?" The two males asked in awe before Deidara slapped himself and nodded, "Why, of course! Thank you so much, un!"

"Good." Sakome smiled, Deianne posing while brushing her hair behind her, "We'll look forward to see you two, erm..."

"Sasori."

"Deidara." The blonde male then picked up his son, "And this is Saso." Sakome smiled,

"Well then Sasori, Deidara, and Saso. See you later." She walked off, throwing Deianne for a loop when she had to rush after her in designer heels.

* * *

><p>As <em>soon<em> as the trio made it back to Juubi's mansion, Sasori and Deidara went into a tizzy about what they were going to where, what they would say, how they would act. But Saso had to bring up the fact of the matter, "What about Itachi's outfit, ano sa?"

That stopped Sasori and Deidara in their tracks. "Hm..." Sasori tapped at his chin, "Pros: being invited to watch a sports event from a VIP box is a once in a lifetime event."

"Cons," Deidara sighed, "Going to the Exhibition cuts into our work time, un." Then he nodded, "Pros: Sakome and Deianne are the most influential designer and model in Luminescent Valley! Getting into their inner circle could mean big, _big_ things, un!"

"Cons..." Sasori sighed, "Itachi's birthday _most likely_ won't be as glamorous or important as getting to know Sakome and Deianne... but that doesn't mean we should shirk off our commitment. Itachi's our friend... our friends appreciate us... we shouldn't let them down..."

"And we won't." Deidara nodded as he walked into the wardrobe. He quickly jumped out dressed in a spring green, designer sun-dress with a matching hat. Sasori nodded and followed the other's example, walking out in a pressed, black suit with a scorpion pin on the lapels.

"We are going to the Royal Guard's Exhibition as guests of Sakome and Deianne!"

Saso immediately tried to speak up, "What about Itachi?"

"No time to dawdle!" Deidara pulled Saso along so Sasori could get him dressed, completely ignoring him.

* * *

><p>Inside of a coliseum built out of blue brick and ceramic pillars, hundreds of spectators sat awaiting the events to begin. "Pardon us," Sasori offered as he, Deidara, and Saso walked up the stairs to try and get to Sakome's VIP box.<p>

Jet Settington and Uppity noticed them walking past, whispering between themselves as the trio passed. They made it to where a security guard stood, strong and fierce, blocking their entry. "Sasori, Deidara!" Sakome smiled from inside the VIP section. At the brief signal, the guard opened the velvet-rope and allowed the trio in.

"What the hell?" Uppity shrieked at the sight. Meanwhile, the inside of the Box was a stark contrast from the common seating: it seemed like more of an upscale restaurant.

"So good of you to join us." Deianne smiled as Sakome led her over. They weren't alone, however, as a group of socialites rushed over and surrounded the two females, pushing Sasori and Deidara to the side.

"Everyone," Sakome began with a flip of her hair, "Meet Sasori and Deidara." the socialites kept on with their buzzing, "They're staying with Juubi as his honored guests."

That got the socialites' attention as they took a glance at the small family and began whispering amongst themselves.

"Attention dudes and dudettes!" Conch's voice called out through the intercom system, "Welcome to the Royal Guard Exhibition! I'd like to thank all of our most generous benefactors for continuing to fund our services in keeping Terram safe and peaceful! Now, the first match between our very own Rake and Yuki will begin soon! Don't miss it brahs!"

Back up in the box, Deianne smiled, "I really think that Rake has this match wrapped up in Lily Vacon gift paper." The socialites, sheep that they were, wholeheartedly agreed:

"Yes."

"Quite."

"Indubitably."

"Of course!"

"I'm afraid I would disagree, un." Everyone turned their heads when Deidara said that, Sasori sheepishly nodding,

"Yuki would be the one to watch..." Before the socialites could say anything else, the ringing of a gong signaled the penguin-demoness Yuki walking into the ring with her opponent. They both got ready, stretching out and taking deep breaths, before moving into starting stance.

The gong was rung again: Rake charging towards Yuki, who deftly dodged each of his attacks before she was able to land a kick at his stomach and another one onto his shoulder. Sakome and Deianne watched the match with great interest, the socialites only glancing at the events while they gossiped; but Sasori, Deidara, and Saso followed each swift movement with enraptured stares.

Finally, with another kick, Rake fell to the practice mat: Yuki jumping up and down at her victory as Conch announced, "And Yuki wins the match! Most bodacious!"

"Bravissima!" Sakome walked over to Sasori and Deidara, Deianne following with a,

"How did you know about Yuki's victory?"

Deidara looked to Sasori before replying, "Our friend Kisame talks about her all the time. He insists that people always think that just because Yuki has one eye, people are always underestimating her."

"Kisame?" One of the socialites cleared their throat, "As in, Hoshigaki Kisame? Second-in-command of the Royal Guard?"

"The very same." Sasori nodded, Sakome smiling,

"Demons of high-taste, staying with Juubi, _and _they know such an important demon. I _told_ you all that this is a duo worth knowing and more!"

All at once, Sasori and Deidara felt all of their insecurities about being in this city slip away as the socialites gathered around and began conversation. Deianne snapped her fingers, two waiters rushing over with bottles of champagne and glasses, "To Sasori and Deidara: our new _favorite_ party guests!"

"You've _got_ to be kidding!" Jet Settington gritted out as he and Uppity looked on at the party going on in the Box.

* * *

><p>After the Exhibition, the group (minus Sakome and Deianne, they had a book-signing to go to) was escorted around Luminescent Valley via brightly-lit limo. "..And, I had to break it to the poor girl," Sasori began, taking a sip of his champagne, "Dear, that's <em>not<em> a make-over. That's a make-six-feet-_under_!"

The socialites, sheep that they were, laughed wholeheartedly at the red-head's joke: one of them smiling, "Sasori, Deidara, you two are simply a delight! You two _must_ attend the opening of my art gallery this evening!"

"Hold on," One of the others spoke up, "You mustn't forget my charity-auction tomorrow morning then chaps: treasures and artifacts from the richest parts of the world and what-not." The remaining socialite then pouted,

"And I'm having a _splendid_ dinner party tomorrow night. Consider the finest seats reserved just for you two!" After a moment, Saso tugged on his mother's hand, whispering,

"Itachi's outfit, ano sa..."

"Oh!" The third socialite smiled, "Is the little dear worried about where he fits in? Don't worry, there's a stunning group of the junior elite that he can play with. My grand-daughter is a triple-silver member."

All of this was so amazing, Deidara felt as if his head was spinning. But Sasori _did_ try and say, "It all sounds wonderful, but we _do_ have a project that is in need of our attention-"

"But if you don't come tonight," The first socialite gasped, "I might as well shut the opening down!"

"Not to mention my charity auction!"

"And my dinner party will be _disastrous_ if you don't attend~!" After their pleas only increased in desperation, Sasori could only nod,

"We wouldn't miss them for the world." Much to the relief of the socialites and the dismay of Saso.

* * *

><p>"Looks like our stay in Luminescent Valley will be just a bit longer than planned..." Sasori stated as he and Deidara tried to get ready in the same mirror. While they dressed, however, they used their magic to do a small things to Itachi's ensemble: laying out the fabric and lining up the ingredients for the make-up.<p>

"Bumping into Sakome and Deianne is turning out to be the _best_ thing to ever happen to us, un!" Deidara beamed as he applied a bit of gloss to his lips, Sasori rolling up the sleeves on his cardigan sweater.

Saso looked over the miniscule effort his parents had made on the ensemble and sighed, "But we need to work on this, don't we? Itachi's birthday party is almost here, ano sa."

"Saso, stop worrying!" Deidara smiled, tugging the boy over so he could brush his hair. Sasori agreed,

"Itachi's outfit is _still_ our top priority." He looked through his accessory-case for the certain thing to make his outfit complete, "But we can't disappoint the Luminescent Elite by rejecting their invitations now, can we?"

A flourish of cymbals floated through the air as he tossed a ruby-encrusted watch into the air: the accessory slipping over his wrist as he looked at the finish product in the mirror. When he was satisfied, he sang,

"_We'll be the toast of the town, the guys on the go... _

_We're the type of demons every demon, every demon should know..."_ Once Deidara finished with Saso, he slipped on a pair of shoes and added,

"_We'll be the ones to watch, the family in the flow... _

_We're the type of demons every demon, every demon should know!"_

* * *

><p>The first stop: the art gallery. Sasori and Deidara walked in dressed to the nine. They sent Saso off, the small blonde wearing the cutest little sweater and beret as he tried his best to make friends with the other children there.<p>

"_Becoming as popular as popular can be..."_ Sasori and Deidara sang between themselves. When the first socialite asked what they thought of the main piece on the wall, Deidara took a moment before nodding. And, after Sasori gave his approval, the high-class guests (which included all _sorts_ of celebrities like the fashion-mogul Felix Pink and his assistant) all began giving positive feedback: the hostess giving a sigh of relief.

"_Making a mark, making a mark in high society~!"_

* * *

><p>"The first item up for bid," The second socialite began his auction the following morning, "This pristine vase from Ancient Tropis! Bidding starts at $1,000 ladies and gentlemen!" Sasori and Deidara, now dressed in business-casual, looked at the piece up for bid.<p>

"It's beautiful..." Deidara whispered.

Sasori agreed as he mused, "I think I'll make an attempt." He raised his hand and, immediately, all of the other guests followed suit.

"_We're the beaus of this ball, the stars of the show, yeah! _

_We're the type of demons every demon, every demon should know!"_

"I say!" The host of the event gasped, seeing all of the offers, dropping his gavel from shock.

* * *

><p>Conversation and laughter flowed as freely as the wines that were being served at the third socialite's dinner party. A suit and slim evening gown were the chosen attire for this event, Sasori and Deidara sitting on either side of the hostess.<p>

"_See how they hang on every word that we speak..?"_ Deidara whispered to Sasori who nodded as he continued, _"Our approving glance is what they all seek..."_

The waiters of the evening came in, carrying trays of appetizers. Sasori looked between both trays, trying to decide which was better, _"We're the crème de la crème, not just a Jane and John Doe..."_ He finally pointed to the tray of miniature quiches, everyone else ordering the same. _"We're the type of demons every demon should know..."_

* * *

><p>The next few days were filled with even <em>more<em> events and outings. They were invited to an operatic performance. _"At home at the opera..."_

Then they found themselves on a luxury day-cruise with Sakome and Deianne, _"On a fancy boat..."_ Looking around, Sasori and Deidara couldn't _believe_ the types of shoulders they were rubbing up against. Like Francis Bonnefoy, Konan Pacon, and many more.

"_It's obvious that this city loves us the most!"_

* * *

><p>There was a movie premiere that Deianne insisted that Sasori and Deidara accompany here to. As soon as they walked out of the limo, socialites from all around rushed over to join them as Deidara grasped Sasori's arm,<p>

"_We're the crème de la crème, not just a Jane and John Doe, yeah!"_ Sasori felt the same thing that the bird-demon was: they had made it, all of their hard work had finally amounted to something. The scorpion-demon nodded,

"_We're the type of demons every demon, every demon should know~!"_

* * *

><p>Their sweep through the high-life ended off as they were invited to be the guests of honor at the maiden voyage of Luminescent Valley's newest airship. The mayor handed Deidara the champagne bottle which the blonde happily cracked against the hull of the ship: both Sasori and Deidara watching in awe as the magnificent vessel rose up into the skies.<p>

* * *

><p>Finally, late that night, the family walked back into their suite at Juubi's mansion. They were exhausted, pleasantly so, but still, as they walked inside. Saso immediately fell asleep on the couch while Sasori and Deidara were forced to look at what little work they had done on Itachi's ensemble.<p>

"_Because we're the type of demons..."_ Deidara sighed, Sasori nodding,

"_Yes, we're the type of demons..."_ The red-head snapped his fingers, a roll of tan fabric floating over onto the mannequin. He yawned as he haphazardly shaped it into a a simple sweater and Capri combo. Deidara simply mixed a simple jar of foundation and a tube of lip gloss, the both of them finally collapsing into bed and groaning,

"_Yes, we're the type of demons every demon... _

_Should..._

_Know..."_


	25. Champagne Wishes, Caviar Dreams Part 2

**A/N: Sasori! Deidara! You sell outs!**

* * *

><p>The following morning found Deidara tossing his final bag onto the shoulders of the concierge from before. "I do hope that's everything..."<p>

"So... do I..." The concierge groaned. Sasori walked past, tossing Opal's and Gold-dust's cages on top of the growing pile, Saso smiling as he walked over to his mother,

"I can't wait to get home, ano sa! The kids here are so _weird_..."

Sasori gave a simple shrug of his shoulders, "Yes, well we need to get home to see if we can have any time to fix up Itachi's ensemble." So, sighing that their time in the bright lights of Luminescent Valley was done, they all walked towards the front door...

Just to be stopped by a letter being slipped through the door. "What's that un?" Deidara asked, Sasori picking it up and opening it to read,

"'To the desk of Akasuna Sasori and Azumoji Deidara,

Your presence is requested at a garden party to be held at the Luminescent Valley Crystal Gardens tomorrow afternoon. We hope to see you there.

Yours truly,

Jet Settington and Uppity'."

"Oh my gods," Deidara shrieked, "A Luminescent Valley garden party?"

Sasori shared his lover's surprise, shaking his head in shock, "Next to the Shooting Star Ball, Luminescent Valley garden parties are _the_ most exclusive events in Terram!" Saso watched his parents shriek and giggle with joy like school-girls for a few moments before he stood and insisted,

"If we go to that party-thing we'll miss Itachi's birthday, ano sa!" He shook his head, tears threatening to fall from his eyes, "Ever since we've gotten here the two of you have been acting so weird. I want to go home, ano sa!"

"Saso, quit being so misunderstanding!" Deidara pulled at his hair, "We've _finally_ gotten to the upper-class, un. We _can't_ ruin what we've worked so hard for!"

"And if we ruin _this_," Sasori explained, "We might _never_ get this opportunity again!" Saso shook his head,

"But what about our home, our friends? I don't like it here, ano sa! The kids here act so fake and they're not _anything_ like the Chakra-Mark Musketeers!"

Deidara wasn't hearing it, "You'll get used to it! I can't let this pass me by, I can't!"

"And neither will I." Sasori spoke, his voice resolute. "Saso, hand me that pen."

"I want to go home!"

"HAND ME THE PEN!" Saso sniffed back tears before he threw the utensil at father and then ran to his room. Sasori shook his head and began writing on a sheet of stationary:

"'Dear Itachi,

It is with a heavy heart that I must inform you that Deidara and I won't be able to make it to your birthday party tomorrow. For the reason that'..." He looked around, hunting for an alibi, when it clicked, "'Opal and Gold-dust have taken ill! Oh, such an unforeseen tragedy! They're in _no_ shape to make the long trip back home! I hope that we have your understanding. Your friends,

Sasori and Deidara'."

"I suppose," The concierge gulped, "You no longer need my assistance with these bags?"

"No," Deidara smiled, "But you can help us unpack." A pained grunt was released as the concierge collapsed to the floor with all of the luggage on top of him.

* * *

><p>The following evening Saso didn't say a word: settling for glaring at them as they fussed over their attire for the party. Sasori walked by Saso dressed in a new, copper suit with an accompanying pocket-watch, "What do you think?" He asked, "Too much?"<p>

Saso was silent.

"Right, too little." Sasori nodded before taking a golden top-hat and placing it on top of his head. Deidara walked over, a shimmering powder added to his foundation to give him as much sparkle as his dress.

"And we're off, un!" He beamed as he beckoned for Saso to get up. The blonde bird-demon opened the door, expecting to see their means of transportation. Instead...

"Sasori, Deidara!" Itachi smiled as he poked his head in, the rest of the gang jumping behind him and shouting,

"Surprise!"

"Oh dear gods!" Sasori and Deidara shrieked, grabbing onto one another. Tobi only giggled,

"Yay! They're surprised!" It even turned out that they had brought the children along, Saso gasping as his eyes went wide in joy,

"Guys!"

"Hi Saso!" They all called back. However, Deidara gritted out (emotions out of whack due to this turn of events),

"What are you all _doing_ here?"

Hidan shook his head with a smirk, "So shocked that he can't even think straight..."

"What he meant," Sasori cleared his throat, "Is what are all of you doing _here_ here?" Itachi took a step forward explaining,

"When I received your letter explaining what had happened, I asked Tobi if he wouldn't mind setting up another party here in Luminescent Valley and Kisame offered to rent out a room in the city for the event so you wouldn't miss it."

Tobi jumped in front of the two fashionistos, beaming, "Balloons are super easy to pack!" He opened a bag, allowing hundreds of bright balloons to fly out.

"We couldn't let you guys miss out," Kisame added, "No matter _how _far away you were."

Sasori couldn't believe it, Deidara was shocked as well, as he spoke, "Wow... First that generous loan and now this... I don't know what to say-"

Alfred interrupted the sweet moment, "How about explaining what's up with the fancy threads?"

"These?" Deidara gulped as all eyes went on them. This _wasn't_ the type of attention they had been wanting. "Oh, _these_!" He gave a nervous chuckle as he tried to think of an excuse, "We... _always_ put on something nice when Opal and Gold-dust are under the weather! Cheers them _right_ up, un!"

"Poor things..." Zetsu shook his head, peeking into the suite, "Where are they? Ivan brought some herbs that probably might help."

Deidara... obviously hadn't thought that far. Sasori quickly excused himself as he rushed into the suite and slammed the doors behind him, leaving a group of confused creatures at the doorstep. Inside, Sasori quickly grabbed the scorpion and the canary and with a quick,

"I am _terribly_ sorry for this.", he dumped them into the bathroom sink, soaking them with water before he tossed them onto the bed and rushed back out. "They're... resting on the bed!" Immediately, Zetsu rushed in and picked the two up.

"Poor dears! Their bodies must be trying to sweat out the fever." The others walked inside, Itachi noting right away the clothes on the mannequin.

"Are those... for me?" He asked, picking up the foundation jar. The time came to bite the bullet as Sasori and Deidara gulped,

"Yes..?"

Itachi circled the mannequin, observing, "It's so... simple. So practical..." Just as the two fashionistos were about to go on an apology spree, Itachi clapped his hands together, "Such a reflection of me! You two really outdid yourselves, I love it!"

"Phew..." The scorpion-demon and the bird-demon sighed, Sasori whipping the original design-plans into the trash with his tail, "You have _no_ idea what that means to us."

* * *

><p>The limo-bus (since it seemed that limos were the only means of transportation in this city) carried the group towards their destination as Kisame, who couldn't seem to keep his hands off of Itachi, was talking about where they were going, "I had to call at <em>least<em> five different places to see if they had any space available and, as luck would have it, there was only one!"

The limo stopped, everyone filing out as Sasori and Deidara flinched upon seeing where they were: the inner workings of the Luminescent Valley Crystal Gardens. "The room I rented out is inside."

They passed through many stained-glass windows and doors as they walked towards the large ball-room that had been decorated ceiling to floor in birthday décor.

"Wow..." Sasuke whistled, "I almost expect to see some prissy socialite in here!"

"SOCIALITES?" Sasori and Deidara gasped, jumping behind a table, "Where?" After a moment, they realized that everyone was looking at them, so Sasori cleared his throat,

"Um... _where_ did you find the time to do all of this Tobi?" The joy-demon giggled,

"The staff here helped Tobi a lot. But Tobi couldn't have done it without his XZ-17 Class Party Cannon!" He reached behind himself and brought out the shiny orange weapon. He pulled a string, a cloud of confetti and streamers bursting forth: some of it covering the two fashionistos, Deidara gritting his teeth in poorly concealed rage.

Kisame walked towards the largest window of the room, giving a shrug of his shoulders, "I originally asked if they had any room outside. But apparently some prissy, upscale demons reserved it for a party of their own.

They couldn't help themselves: carefully, so no one would see them, Sasori and Deidara took a peek at the Garden Party outside. Oh, how the elite class looked so elegant in their finest attire...

They didn't notice Tobi sneaking up behind them until he shouted, "Time to party-hardy!" And grabbed them to join the fun.

* * *

><p>Naruto started up the sound-system: dance music filling the room as they all tossed Itachi up in the air, calling out various forms of birthday greetings.<p>

Next came the wonderful cake, courtesy of Kakuzu and Hidan. The red and white confection was sliced and divvied up between them all: everyone enjoying the delicious treat until Alfred's Trickster blood came roaring in. He tossed what remained of his slice into Ivan and Kisame's faces.

The Trickster's laughter filled the air until he was pelted to the floor with a piece of cake. The two fashionistos winced as they were caught in the cross-fire, admitting to themselves that this evening was turning out to be _somewhat_ enjoyable.

"Come on everybody, conga-line!" Kisame whooped as everyone danced around the room in a single-file line: Sasori and Deidara at the end. Yet, when they passed the windows, Deidara had to ask,

"Would it be so bad to just make an appearance?" Sasori shook his head and, when they were sure the coast was clear, they snuck out into the gardens.

* * *

><p>The vampire music-troupe had scored another music-assignment: their leader Roderich playing on a much <em>older<em> piano since his new one had an unfortunate... accident. **(A/N: See chapter 'Four Carats')**

All around, socialites buzzed and flitted about as they gossiped and drank themselves silly on expensive wine. "Such a lovely event!" Deidara called out to signal that they had arrived. Uppity immediately rushed over, in an attempt to save face,

"Darlings! So _glad_ you could make it!"

"Hey!" They looked over and saw Sakome and Deianne walking over, the redhead fashionista smiling,

"So good to see you two here."

"We wouldn't have missed it for the world." Sasori replied, kissing Sakome's hand. However, Deianne gave a gentle sneeze as something wafted past her nose.

"Do I smell..." The model sniffed, "Cake-frosting?" Sasori gulped, not knowing what to say: he hadn't realized that there was still some cake left on his person. Luckily, Deidara swooped in to save him,

"Er... Yes! Well, actually you don't smell _actual_ cake frosting, that would be absurd, un!" He flipped his hair, "A little trade-secret of mine is to add a little vanilla and butter to my perfume: gives the conversation a warmer feel, you know?"

"So clever!" Sakome nodded, Deianne whispering,

"Remind me to order something from him the next time I go to see a potential client." After that, Sasori excused himself to go see what was over at the hor'duevre table. While they were walking, Deidara whispered,

"I'll go back to Itachi's party and you'll stay here. Every ten minutes we switch out, agreed?"

"Agreed." And with that, Deidara rushed off back to their friends.

* * *

><p>Ten minutes later found Deidara watching his friends try to take down a large pinata. He waited a moment before he slowly backed away, meeting up with Sasori as they switched out.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Another<em> ten minutes later, Sasori was wiping chocolate from his mouth as he excused himself from Itachi's party to go check on Opal and Gold-dust, switching out with Deidara.

* * *

><p>However, as smooth as they thought they were being, they soon tripped themselves up in their little scheme all thanks to Sasori accidentally bringing in a croquet mallet from the Garden Party as he and Deidara switched out.<p>

"Is that..." Ivan asked, "A croquet mallet?"

"What croquet mallet?" Sasori failed to feign stupidity. However, all of the others soon closed in, Itachi asking,

"Have you and Deidara been popping into that other party?"

"Well..." Sasori gulped, sweat washing down his forehead, "I... We..."

"Sasori..." Kisame frowned, "Don't lie to us." That tore it, Sasori released a heavy groan,

"I'm _sorry_! Let me explain!"

"Explain what?" The shark-demon laughed, "You're using my loan to its full potential! You sly businessman, you!" Sasori blinked,

"Beg pardon?"

"Those demons out there are sure to have some gilded pockets," Kakuzu nodded, "And isn't award season coming up? You timed this just right to do some marketing. Even _I'm_ impressed!"

"But that's not-!" Saso tried to pipe up, Sasori clasping a hand over the small demon's mouth,

"Yes, yes! That's _exactly_ what we're doing! Oh, Deidara was so afraid that you would think that we were being rude so we didn't say anything. Oh, your powers of clarity, my friends, are quite exemplary!"

"Well then, don't let us stop you!" Hidan waved the redhead off, "Go on, you and Deidara go do your thing!"

Sasori couldn't help it that his eyes had started to water from his friends' understanding, "You all really _are_ the best friends a demon could ask for! I don't know _why_ I ever thought you wouldn't understand!"

"Understand what?" Zetsu blinked, Sasori coughing out,

"Nothing, see you later!", as he rushed towards the door. However, Kisame called over,

"Hold on a minute!" When Sasori stopped he added, "I'm sure they wouldn't mind us checking out their party too. Come on you guys, let's show them how we party by the sea!"

Meanwhile, in the Garden Party, Deidara was talking to Deianne when a sudden chill ran through his spine. "Something very, very, _very_ bad is about to happen." He meeped before looking over and seeing his friends walking into the elite event with their loud music and extravagant laughter. "Danna!" He walked over to the scorpion-demon, "What the hell is going on, un?"

Alfred decided to try his hand at croquet and ended up sending his mallet flying through the air: knocking an old demoness's wig off. On another end, Zetsu had made friends with the squirrels and birds that inhabited the main tree.

Tobi had helped himself to the desserts table: his face stained in chocolate and caramel and turning some of the other guests away from their meals entirely. Ivan had found some plants in the garden that he couldn't get at home, so he had gotten straight to picking as many of them as he could.

"So, I was collecting the mail one morning," Hidan began recalling a riveting tale to a group of socialites, "And when I opened the mail-box up what do I see but this huge, fucking rat! I mean, the little bastard was massive! Almost as big as that guy's steak!" He pointed to a guest who had been eating but was immediately turned off of his meal.

The younger female guests had all, of course, flocked to Sasuke: the dragon resorting to his best threats to get them to back off. Naruto was seeming to have the opposite strand of luck: all of the male guests hitting on him.

And, in the middle of it all, Kisame and Itachi were dancing to the music from the radio that Tobi had brought along: the device blasting the latest, lust-filled song on the charts. The uninhibited, sensual movements that the two were performing caused all of the other guests to back up at least ten feet away.

Both Sasori and Deidara quickly downed the strongest drinks they could find. Then, Jet Settington asked with a scoff, "Can you believe what they're doing?"

"So scandalous!" Another socialite agreed, nearly passing out when the shark-demon and the weasel-demon shared a kiss between their bumping and grinding.

"And just _look_ at what that weasel-demon is wearing!" Uppity shook her head, "It's so _plain_!" Just as Deidara was about to give his own take, Sakome walked over to Kisame and Itachi and asked the brunette,

"Excuse me, may I have a word?" Itachi backed away from Kisame, nodding,

"Of course."

"Where did you get your ensemble?" Sakome asked, inspecting the outfit. Itachi gladly replied,

"This was a gift from a very special duo of friends of mine from Adamant Falls!"

Sasori and Deidara actually began to fight of the last drink on the table: desperate to escape their upcoming doom in a haze of drunken stupor. Back with Itachi, Sakome hummed,

"Adamant Falls? You don't say..."

"Oh, but I do!" Itachi nodded, "Their names are-"

"Sakome!" Sasori called as he and Deidara walked over, "There you are, we've been looking all over for you!"

"Oh, good!" Sakome nodded, "You're just in time to hear who made this outfit!"

"Such a simple thing!" Deidara gritted out, "Who cares?" Kisame couldn't help the laugh that broke from his chest,

"Since when have you two been so modest? This outfit you made for 'Tachi hugs him in _all_ the right places if I do say so myself!"

Itachi laughed, punching Kisame in the shoulder, "You're drunk, stop!"

However, the damage had been done: a hush washed over the crowd as they watched the scene. "All of your friends think so!" Hidan smiled as the group came together from their various activities.

"You..." Deianne blinked, confused, "_Know_ these demons?"

Deidara clutched at Sasori's shoulder, whining, "They're ruining _everything!_ Danna, what are we going to do?" At that moment, Sasori stopped... He stopped and thought, taking a look around: he saw his friends, the Luminescent Elite, and he saw his son. Oh, Saso looked so happy with his friends.

Just like _he_ used to look.

Finally, taking a deep breath, he walked to the center of the garden. Then, for one and all to hear, he stated, "Yes, we know them. They may not be as high and mighty as you lot but they are my best friends."

"Thank you..." Saso nodded, secretly over-joyed that his father had regained his senses. Deidara, on the other hand, groaned into his handkerchief before sighing,

"They really _are_ the most important demons we know, un."

All was silent... Until Jet Settington laughed, "'Important' demons? This rag-tag bunch of vagabonds?"

"Don't make me laugh!" Uppity snickered, "The only good-looking one of them can hardly even _dress_!"

"Actually..." Sakome tapped her chin, still inspecting Itachi's outfit, "This one may be ahead of _all_ of us in the fashion-scene."

"Beg pardon?" Jet and Uppity gasped, Sakome explaining,

"Oh, that's right, you _little_ demons have yet to get a hold of an issue of Francis Bonnefoy's latest magazine, have you?" The fashionista pulled an advanced copy out of her pocket and opened it to the right page before showing one and all that:

"'Plain and Simple is In'?" Everyone, Sasori and Deidara included, gasped in shock: looking at their own extravagant clothes in horror. Sakome nodded,

"There was actually supposed to be a fashion-show starring my waifu and the newest trend. But I see that _someone_ here," She blinked towards Sasori and Deidara, "Beat me to it."

"Oh!" A young socialite pushed her way through the crowds, wallet in hand, until she got to Sasori and Deidara, "I'd like to place an order _right_ now!"

"Same here!" Another insisted. But Deianne pulled the two fashionistos away and towards their friends, smiling with eyes that seemed better placed for the bedroom,

"You should introduce us to your friends... I would _love_ to see you all at the show tomorrow." After they shared one more glance, Sasori and Deidara both nodded,

"But of course!"

* * *

><p>The following afternoon, after Sakome and Deianne's show had gone off without a hitch, Deidara was leaning on Sasori's shoulder as the scorpion-demon wrote a letter:<p>

"'Dear Juubi-sama,

I wanted to tell you about the important things Deidara and I learned during our stay in your beautiful city'..."

"Well," The dolphin-deity smirked as he appeared behind the two, "I'm listening." Deidara chuckled before taking over,

"'We learned that no matter where you go in life, you should never forget where you came from, un. You should always be proud of your roots, no matter how small they are'." Juubi smiled,

"Very nice. _Very_ nice indeed."

"Quite..." The poor concierge agreed, his voice strained as, once again, he was carrying the family's luggage on his shoulders, "But if you could be so kind as to hurry things up a tick – NO!" He collapsed, all of the bags falling to the floor or a third time.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**And _that_ is this double-update! Thanks to everyone for being so patient and I hope these chapters were enjoyable. Please review. Seriously, please review. I'm begging again. It's not a good sign when the authoress is begging guys!  
><strong>

**-Tyranno's girl.  
><strong>


	26. Hunger Pains Part 1

**A/N: Well, what do you know? This story lives! Sorry about the delay, this summer has _not_ been a good one for me. But, I'm back! Double-update for the win! Let's go! **

**Disclaimer- Meep. **

* * *

><p>"Mm..!" Miyu struggled to crawl across the library floor, the babe looking simply adorable in her pink and blue onesie. And, always in eye-shot, Itachi sat in the middle of the main room. He lit up a candle, dimming the lights in the empty building before he smiled,<p>

"No distractions."

Miyu giggled, holding her arms up for a hug. Itachi couldn't resist the urge so he used his magic and picked the child up, Miyu landing in his arms before he whispered, "Today is too important." The blue-haired infant watched with wide eyes as Itachi's body began glowing: all of the books in the library being plucked from their shelves and placed onto the floor. "It's re-shelving day!" Itachi sang to Miyu as the books began floating in single-file around them.

The weasel-demon carefully examined each tome as it floated past, "Let's see... 'Understanding Terram's Feudal Era' goes in History," He sent the book floating to its new home, "'Modern Jutsus and You', that's a Classic." Books were sent flying into new shelves as Itachi worked in a precise, calm manner. "'The Art of the To-Do List', well..." He beckoned for the book to come back, "I might want to take another look at that one."

Abruptly, a low giggle caught him off-guard: causing all of the books to fall to the floor. "Sasuke..." The weasel-demon gritted out, removing a book that had fallen on his head, "What are you so giggly about?" The young dragon walked down the stairs, all smiles as he looked at the box he held in his hands.

"_This_ little beauty," He began, "Is mom's birthday present to me." He reached in and pulled out a splendid ruby that was so crimson it looked like it had recently been showered in blood, "A Heartstone Ruby! Aged in the belly of Terram's highest-quality jewel-harvesting volcano!" The young male allowed his tail to tap the treasure, a pleasant hum echoing forth. "This is going to be _so_ good!" He placed his treasure back inside of the box before looking around.

"Hey..!" He smiled, walking over to ruffle his niece's hair, "Your mommy finally decided to take my advice and just have everyone look for whatever book they want themselves!"

"Don't you corrupt her Sasuke..." Itachi frowned, despite Miyu squirming to be held by her Uncle.

* * *

><p>Later that morning, Itachi was still trying to organize the books while Miyu played with a stuffed animal beside him. And by play we mean gum and drool over.<p>

Yet, a few moments later there was a call of, "Hello~!" That was Deidara who was followed into the library by Sasori who added,

"Is anyone here? Itachi? Sasuke – OH MY!" His copper eyes went wide as he saw Sasuke shining his gem. The scorpion-demon rushed over, gasping, "IS THAT A HEARTSTONE RUBY? Oh my, oh _my_! That must be at least twenty carats!" Sasori reached into his pocket for his inspecting lens, looking over the gem before he gulped, "28! No inclusions! Pristine facets! Dear gods, I think I just had an orgasm!"

"Ugh..." Sasuke looked over to see the object of his affections Naruto, the Kitsune carrying Deidara's day-bag, "A little too much information maybe?"

"Naruto..." Sasuke sighed, placing the gem back in its box, "I'll see _you_ later delicious." Deidara shook his head, helping Itachi pick up a few books,

"Since danna's too busy eye-humping that gem, un, he needed to borrow a book on ancient-fashion-"

"Excuse me!" Sasori shook himself out of his trance, gulping, "Sasuke, did you just say 'delicious'?"

Sasuke gave a quick nod, "Hell yes! Next week's my birthday and _this_ is my birthday dinner!" While Sasori's face portrayed a look of sheer horror, Itachi sent over an old book,

"Try this one."

"Thanks," The scorpion-demon flipped through the pages, "Sakome told me that capes are making a comeback in Adamant Sea City, so I wanted... to be..." His eyes kept going back to the gem, "On my... game..."

"Wow..." Naruto noted, folding his arms, "Sasori _really_ likes that gem, huh?"

Sasuke, who was just about to lock the rare beauty up, blinked, "What was that?" However, Sasori gave another wistful sigh as he closed the book up,

"I hope its as delicious as it is gorgeous for you Sasuke."

It was then that what Naruto said finally clicked in Sasuke's mind. "Oh... You _really_ like it, huh?"

"'Like' it?" Sasori shook his head, "It's magnificent!"

"Poor Sasori... He's going to be sighing about this all day." Naruto muttered under his breath. But seeing how many emotions Naruto had invested in this convinced Sasuke of what needed to be done. So, with a heavy sigh of his own, the navy-bluenette stated,

"Sasori."

"Hm?"

"Catch." Sasuke took the Heartstone Ruby from its case and tossed it over to the scorpion-demon's hands. Sasori's copper eyes widened again as the younger Uchiha explained, "You'd probably get more use out of it than me having it as a snack."

Sasori was still in shell-shock. "I... I don't know what to say... I – THANK YOU! OH MY GODS, I never thought I'd see the day!"

A smoke-filled sigh left Sasuke's nostrils as he watched Sasori fawn over his new gem. But Naruto was _extremely_ impressed by Sasuke's charity. "Wow..." The blonde Kitsune stood in front of the dragon, a warm smile on his face, "That's one of the most generous things I've ever seen." Sasuke shook it off,

"Well, I-!" But he was cut off when Naruto stole the moment and placed a simple kiss on his cheek, promising,

"Don't worry! I'm going to go to Konoha tomorrow night and I'll find something to make it up to you, you'll see!"

"Come on, un!" Deidara called out to his fiance and his assistant, "We have to go get back to work! Thanks for your help Itachi!"

"And thank _you_ so much Sasuke!" Sasori laughed in joy as he carried the Ruby out. When they were gone, Itachi gave a low whistle,

"Wow otouto... That's one of the kindest things you've ever done!"

Sasuke, on the other hand, was petrified from the shock of Naruto kissing him. After a moment, he whispered in an awestruck voice, "I will _never_ wash this cheek again. Or at least until the day I get laid."

* * *

><p>True to his word, the following evening found Naruto rushing from store to store in Konoha with what little earnings he had. He just <em>had<em> to get something for Sasuke to try and make up for him sacrificing his original gift.

But so far, none of the stores he had gone to had anything that he thought the dragon would like. "I can't go home empty handed..."

"Young man..." An old voice called from a dark alley. Naruto blinked and carefully walked forward, seeing an old demoness sitting behind a small table covered in odd, aged trinkets. "Perhaps you'll find what you're looking for amongst my simple wares?"

"Hm..." Naruto looked through what the old demoness had to offer, nothing really catching his eye... Until, a blue flash caught his attention... "What is _that_?"

* * *

><p>The day of Sasuke's birthday finally arrived and Itachi was more than busy trying to finish setting up the library to celebrate. The decorations had been set, the food delivered, and Itachi had just carried in the punch bowl.<p>

After he made sure that the serving spoon was at _just_ the right angle, he nodded and asked, "Everything looks perfect, doesn't it Miyu?" Miyu's eyes were trained in on the large cake that Itachi had ordered, wanting to taste the beautiful tower of allure. "Sasuke!" He called out, wondering just _what_ his brother could still be doing in his room, "Your guests will be here any moment!"

"Hold your horses aniki..." Sasuke shook his head, slowly walking down the staircase. He whistled as he took a look around, "Wow, everything looks great! Thanks Itachi!"

Itachi grabbed a wash-cloth with his magic, sighing, "Sasuke, I'm getting sick of saying this..."

"Saying what?" The dragon raised an eyebrow. However, after a few moments of Itachi glaring at him, he adamantly refused, "No Itachi! I already said I'm not cleaning that spot!"

"For gods' sake!" Itachi gritted out, "You still have pizza-sauce from last week there! It's time to clean it!"

"No!" Sasuke tried rushing off to avoid the wash-cloth of doom, Itachi running after him with determination dead-set in his eyes. Miyu couldn't help but clap her hands and giggle at the sight of her mommy and uncle playing together, but Itachi soon tired of running around and snapped his fingers.

Sasuke disappeared in a cloud of red smoke and reappeared closer to the other. "Back off!" Sasuke gritted his teeth, running away just for Itachi to drag him back again...

And again...

And again...

Around the sixth time, however, instead if Sasuke appearing, Tobi fell out of the smoke with a party-whistle in his mouth. It was enough to stop Sasuke, who was about to jump out of the window, long enough for Itachi to bum rush him and forcibly wipe the smudges from the dragon's face: smirking at a job well done.

"Freaking..." Sasuke rolled his eyes, jumping back five feet when Tobi jumped over and shouted,

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!", with a resounding shrill of his party-whistle. Once his ears stopped ringing, Sasuke looked towards the doorway and saw a familiar group of demons standing with gifts in hand. Though his eyes originally looked over all of the gifts, something else soon caught his eye.

Naruto was looking especially luscious today dressed in a tight, sleeveless orange shirt and red skinny jeans: five fox-tails swishing behind him.

"Was this all for me?" He whispered, mostly in his mind and referring to the blonde Kitsune in front of him. But it was heard loud enough for the rest of the gang to start walking over, dropping off their presents as they went.

"Sure is." Kakuzu stated, dropping his and Hidan's present into the dragon's hands.

"Happy birthday Sasuke." Zetsu smiled, giving Sasuke his and Tobi's gift. Then Kisame dropped off a gift, followed by Ivan and Alfred, and ending off with Sasori and Deidara's gift – all wrapped up in garish ribbons and sparklers. The weight soon got to the point where Sasuke lost his balance, all of his presents falling to the floor.

However, rather than getting upset, the navy-bluenette merely looked around in a bewildered sense.

"Hey..." Hidan scratched behind his head, "Don't you know you get presents on your special day?" Sasuke gave a slow nod,

"Yeah, well this is my first birthday away from my parents. My father doesn't really _believe_ in birthday presents and my mother just gets me gems..." He sneaked an angered glance towards Sasori, "And usually I only get one other present. From Itachi." He sighed, "A book."

Itachi, as if conjuring the incredible power of bad timing, Itachi had come from downstairs with Sasuke's present: a ribbon-bound book on growing up. With a sheepish cough, he hid the book behind himself and went to take a seat.

With an extravagant flourish, Sasori reached into his bag and pulled out two items as he began, "Speaking of presents, _this..._" The first item was a vermillion and blue cape, "Is from my new line of Tabitha St. Germain **( 1 )** capes, I'm going to make one for each of us!" He used his magic to tie the cape around Naruto's shoulders: the Kitsune being used as an impromptu mannequin while the scorpion rested a brand new top-hat, decorated in brass gears and the Heartstone Ruby, on his own head. "I was inspired by the monumental act of generosity our birthday boy here showed when giving me this _amazing_ Heartstone Ruby!"

Sasuke couldn't stop his heart from grumbling at the sight of the gem. But it was soon forgotten when Naruto walked over to help him pick up his presents: a sudden surge of warmth rushing through the younger Uchiha when their hands brushed against each other briefly.

* * *

><p>A couple of hours later found the small celebration in full swing: food being shared, drinks poured, music rolling. Sasuke, finishing off an emerald-infused wine-cooler, smiled as he reopened the box that Kakuzu and Hidan's gift came in: a string of amber pieces for him to eat. "Thanks again for this amber guys, it's been ages since I've had any."<p>

"Okay Sasuke," Kakuzu shook his head, "You've already thanked us _five_ times."

"Yeah, well..." Sasuke gave a simple shrug, "I know I keep thanking you guys: Kisame with the Aquamarine, Ivan and Alfred with that jar of Opal and Turquoise, Sasori and Deidara giving me that dining set made of Garnet..." _'Not that it can ever replace my Heartstone Ruby'_ He mentally quipped before adding, "With all this, I just can't thank you all enough."

Abruptly, Naruto walked over to Sasuke and gently stated, "Sorry, I almost forgot. This is for you!" Sasuke looked into the blonde's hands and saw a good-sized box which, upon Naruto opening, made his eyes go wide,

"What is _that_?"

_That_ was a large sapphire, as big as one's head. It was a rich, deep shade of blue with streaks and swirls of white whipping through it. "I don't know," Naruto admitted, "I saw it when I was in Konoha and thought that you would like it."

The precious stone changed hands, Sasuke nodding, "I love it. Thanks. Gods, with how awesome this day has been, I wish this party could last forever." That had _nothing_ to do with the close proximity between himself and his crush. However, Tobi gasped and rushed over,

"But this party _can't_ last forever! You have to go to _Swirl_ so Mr. and Mrs. Cake can give you the birthday surprise that Tobi and them have been working on! Duh!"

"_Another _gift? I'll be back!" Sasuke whistled, grabbing a sweater before walking out, Tobi whining,

"Hey~! Tobi said that party can't last forever but he didn't mean that it should end _now_!"

* * *

><p>Sasuke strolled right into the brightly colored bakery, leaning over the counter while he waited for the two old demons to walk over.<p>

"Congratulations on another year of life young man!" Sasuke nodded a silent thanks before Mrs. Cake _waddled_ to the counter, smiling,

"When we heard about your special day, we couldn't resist trying out a new flavor..." She picked up a small paper box and undid its white strings, revealing a shining white cupcake sprinkled with small crystals, "Diamond!" Wiping the small bit of drool that had dripped down his jaw, couldn't help but think,

_'I have the _weirdest _boner right now...'_

* * *

><p>"Thanks again!" Sasuke called back to the Cakes as he walked onto the road, cupcake-box in hand. As he walked, he shook his head, not believing his luck, "First I get one of the best parties ever, <em>then<em> some awesome presents, _and_ some premium hand on hand action with Naruto?" Isn't denial wonderful? Turning a second of hand-brushing to intimate contact. "And the Cakes give me this amazing cupcake! How can this day get any better?" At that moment, while he was too busy talking to himself, Sasuke accidentally bumped into someone.

"Shit..." The dragon gritted out before looking over and seeing the wolf-demon Kakashi trying to regain his bearings. "Crap, Kakashi-sensei. Sorry about that." However, the wolf-demon only gave a simple chuckle: picking up a bushel of grapes and placing them into what could be salvaged of his shopping bag.

"Maa... That's alright. What's got you so excited? Finally got a date?" Sasuke rolled his eyes, quickly trying to make sure that his cupcake was okay. At the end of it, though, he just decided to scarf down the whole thing (box included) so it wouldn't get in of the way. Then he walked over, picking up produce as he went,

"No, Tobi said the Cakes had made something special for me since today's my birthday." As he handed over what he had gathered in his hands, the silver-haired demon whistled,

"Well happy birthday. Huh, I wish that I had a gift for – Hey, wait a minute." He reached into the bag and pulled out a red and blue fedora hat with a feather on its side. "There you go."

"Pimpin'!" They both shared a fist bump, Kakashi walking off, calling back, "Have a good birthday kid!"

When the other was gone, Sasuke couldn't help but laugh, "I wish _everyday_ was my birthday!", and readjust his new hat.

* * *

><p>"Let's see..." Sasuke mused to himself as he walked around town. He didn't want to go back to his party just yet and he needed to think, "Tobi told the Cakes it was my birthday and I got a free diamond cupcake... Then <em>I<em> mention it to Kakashi and I get this great hat."

While he was walking, he saw a small child happily licking an ice cream cone as they skipped down the road.

A devious little smirk grew across his lips.

* * *

><p>Itachi shook his head as he walked down the streets, trying to find his brother. The party was well past over and he still hadn't come back. However, imagine his surprise when he saw the navy-haired youth apparently trying to bully a child out of their cotton candy.<p>

"Sasuke!" He called out, snapping his fingers: a film of red energy surrounding Sasuke and pulling him away. "What are you doing?"

"Huh?" Sasuke shook his head, groaning, "Mrm, don't know what got into me. Thanks for snapping me out of... whatever that was."

"That's what I'm here for otouto..." Itachi sighed, "Now, hurry up and come home. I have to go on ahead to help with the clean-up and then," He yawned, "I'll need to get Miyu to bed."

Sasuke nodded, watching his brother walk away. However, Itachi couldn't have noticed how Sasuke's eyes gained a strange glow.

* * *

><p>Nonetheless, Sasuke did make it home just in time for a quick shower before heading off to bed. He lay on top of his sheets: his presents all around him (along with his prized collection of souvenir gems throughout the years in his closet).<p>

The young dragon tried to get to sleep, but his mind was just too active for his body to slow down. So, he decided a midnight snack would help. Reaching over to his nightstand, he picked up the box with Naruto's gift in it.

That strange, magnificent sapphire seemed to _beckon_ to him: its milky streaks swirling in an arcane design. "A lick wouldn't hurt." Sasuke shrugged, taking a small lick at the gem.

The effect was immediate: his eyes dilated into reptilian-slits and his breath quickened. He abruptly tore into the strange gem, chomping it down with teeth that seemed to get sharper with every swallow. However, after the brief expanse of time in which he devoured the gem, it wasn't enough to sate his new, avaricious hunger.

He immediately seized his other birthday presents, shoving as many of them down his gullet as possible. Those were soon finished, the youth growling as he realized that his gifts were all gone. Not to be deterred, he stormed over to his closet and nearly yanked off the door to get to his souvenir-gems. The sounds of feverish crunches and growls echoed through the night.

* * *

><p>The following morning Itachi woke up from a nightmarish sleep, wiping his sweaty forehead. "Gods, I had the worst dream." The weasel-demon first went to get Miyu from her crib, the infant nodding back to sleep shortly after Itachi picked her up.<p>

Then he walked towards Sasuke's room. When he got there, he gave a swift knock, calling out, "Sasuke, wake up! Oh, you won't believe the dream I had."

His only response was a low rumble.

"Sleepyhead..." Itachi shook his head before opening the door and going inside, immediately gulping at how much of a mess the small room was: the closet door torn off its hinges, a broken window, and claw-marks all over the walls.

The most glaring detail, however, was the large pile of discarded jewelry and other random items in the center of the floor. "Sasuke!" Itachi shouted, using his magic to move the items to the side, "Why in the world is your room like this? Better yet, _where_ did you get all this..." His voice trailed off, his spell fading and dropping everything to the floor, as he saw Sasuke.

However, the youth didn't _look_ like himself. He had grown twice his size in bulk, his body now covered in navy-blue scales. This wouldn't have been unusual IF the dragon had transformed, which he hadn't. He looked very much as if his two forms were merging into one: his nails growing into large, gangly claws.

The dragon opened tired, slitted eyes at the source of the noise and let out a hiss: his forked tongue lashing out to taste the air. _"Itachi, what isss it?"_ He hissed out, his voice having changed. However, upon hearing his new voice, Sasuke looked down at his hand and asked in horror, _"What the hell happened?"_ He then tried to pull off the hat he had gotten the previous day, his new mass making it too tight.

"I don't know, I don't know!" Itachi shook his head, quickly trying to find any books that would have an inkling of a means to help. "What happened yesterday while you were out?" Sasuke finally managed to yank the hat off, gulping as he got a better look at himself. Yet, at the same time his eyes roamed over the room's contents: everything causing his stomach to growl and his mouth to drool. "Sasuke!" The dragon was snapped out of his trance as Itachi walked over and asked, "What did you do after I talked to you?"

"Um... I went and talked... to..." Sasuke hummed, quickly distracted by the shining globe in the main room of the library.

"Sasuke!" Itachi rushed after him, his magic snatching the globe away just as Sasuke was about to grab it, "Who did you talk to?"

Sasuke quickly shook his head, "I don't remember – _Hey, can I have that globe? You're not going to eat it, right?"_

"Wait, what?" Itachi shook his head, confused, as Sasuke snatched the globe away and chomped away: finishing the instrument in three bites. He then reached up towards a shelf and came down with a book,

"_How about thisss?"_

Placing Miyu down, Itachi rushed over and pulled the book away, sighing, "Sasuke, I'm worried. You're not usually this... _gluttonous_." Sasuke merely rolled his eyes, snatching the book back with a clawed hand, growling,

"_Everything usually doesssn't smell ssso delectable either..."_ However, that statement seemed to scare the younger Uchiha: Sasuke looking to his brother with frightened eyes, "Aniki, what's wrong with me?" Itachi could only think of one thing to do.

* * *

><p>That's what found him, Sasuke, and Miyu inside the office of the local pediatrician. Itachi sat on the extra chair in the medical-office, Miyu looking around the sterile-smelling room, while Sasuke kept eying the dish full of complementary lollipops.<p>

Just as Itachi was about to smack his brother's hand away, the doctor came in, chuckling, "Well now, Itachi, is it time for another check-up for our little Miyu? This will be the third one this month!"

"No sensei," Itachi shook his head, "My brother needs some help though. His name is Sasuke -" He cut himself off to smack a clawed hand away from the candy-bowl, "And something's terribly wrong with him -" _Smack!_ "He's normally _half_ this size-" _Smack!_ "And he keeps trying to eat everything in sight!"

"Alright then, let's have a look." The older demon walked in front of Sasuke before kneeling down and crooning out in the sweetest baby-talk, "Wittle guy not feewing to good?"

"_The fuck isss thisss?"_ Sasuke hissed as the doctor continued,

"Who's a brave little impy?" He then decided to poke the dragon's stomach, resulting in a rush of blue flame that nearly scorched his hair off of his head.

"Well?" Itachi pleaded, "Do you have a diagnosis?"

The doctor hummed, cleaning his glasses, "I think I have an idea." The room went silent. "He's a _dragon_!"

Itachi couldn't help but scoff, "I already knew that! He's _always_ been a dragon!"

"Huh, that explains it." The doctor hummed, wiping his face, "I don't know a single thing about dragons! I study baby demons! Maybe you should try my wife, the vet." Itachi let out a heavy sigh, noticing how Sasuke devoured all of the candy in the bowl,

"Thanks Doctor Way."

* * *

><p>Inside the happily-decorated office of the veterinarian, a demoness fussed and flitted over every inch of Sasuke's body before she finally scratched her head, "Yeesh, I'm flummoxed! Bring me a dog, I've got it diagnosed in seconds! A snake even faster," She looked towards Itachi with a remorseful sigh, "But I've never been this close to an <em>actual<em> dragon before!"

"_Should be out eating inssstead of thisss shit..."_ Sasuke gritted out, forked tongue flicking over his teeth. However, when the vet began patting his head between his horns, he couldn't help but give a content growl.

"Who wants a treat~?" The vet whistled as she held out a dog-biscuit. Sasuke happily snapped up the treat, begging for more as he sat on heels: mouth drooling as Itachi desperately tried to think of who else he could call on for help.

"Thanks Annie Way, we'll be on our way..."


	27. Hunger Pains Part 2

Deep in the Yonko Forests, within Ivan's icy mansion, the Baba Yaga quickly moved about the kitchen as Sasuke sat on the table and Itachi watched over the Baba Yaga's inspection. "Itachi, I am shocked. You should have brought him to me at first moment's notice."

"I know," The weasel-demon pinched the bridge of his nose as tried to prepare a bottle for his daughter. "I was just in a panic." The cream-haired creature shook his head before beginning, first rapping the navy-bluenette's forehead with his knuckles. He then inspected the youth's horns, teeth, and nails before his eyes widened in realization.

But, he had to make sure. So, he walked into the pantry and brought out a simple porcelain doll: a new thing he had picked up at a thrift-store, he had no attachment to it. He held it out in front of Sasuke and, not even a moment later, the dragon snapped his jaws around it: crushing the ceramic into pieces.

"Sasuke, no!" Itachi gasped in shock, immediately apologizing, "Ivan, I'm so sorry..."

"Do not think of it," The Baba Yaga shook his head, then saying, "Your brother has entered a hyper-maturing stage of his dragonhood."

"Hyper-maturing?" Itachi asked, "So he's just growing up? But, then _why_ is he eating everything in sight?" Ivan circled a finger in the air, creating a sharp snowflake. He quickly whipped it across the dragon's hand, Sasuke hissing out in pain. But Ivan went on with his work, looking closely at the blood on the flake's edge.

"There is something _strange_ in his blood." He began, "I am not sure what it is being but it is seeming to revert him to a savage state. For you see," Using his own magic, Ivan conjured up a soft wind that opened the cabinet: carrying out a chart that depicted a child on one end and a vicious dragon on the other. Between the two pictures, the child went through various growths and transformations. But they all eventually resulted in the beast on the opposite side. "A dragon's heart is prone to gluttony. Usually civilized dragons are able to keep the greed in their hearts to a minimum, so they live calm, peaceful lives. However, when a dragon's inhibitions are getting the best of them... They lose their minds to their hunger: devouring _everything_ in their path. And, soon, if he eats more and more, his hunger will only grow."

He set the chart down. "He will be no better than the average monster."

"No..." Itachi looked at the chart and then to his brother, whispering, "There has to be something I can do... I'm not letting my brother end up like this!"

Ivan thought for a second before offering, "The only obvious solution would be to get him to stop eating as soon as possible." However, when they looked towards where Sasuke had been sitting they found him gone...

Along with all the food and chairs in the kitchen. "Those were hand-crafted!" Ivan groaned.

* * *

><p>Itachi and Ivan, Miyu strapped into a small baby-carrier on Itachi's back, rushed into town trying to follow the dragon's trail. They soon heard a frightened cry, from a child, "Get away! Get away you big dumb monster!"<p>

Following the noise, the two adults flinched as they saw the Chakra-Mark Musketeers struggling to pull their wagon away from Sasuke's jaws. "Give us back our wagon!" Kiro gritted out, continuing to pull along with the others.

However, Sasuke soon tired of the games and was about to use his tail to smack the kids away when...

"Hey Sasuke!" That was Itachi, holding a bushel of oranges, "Don't you want _these_ instead of that hard, bland wagon?"

"What are you doing?" Ivan asked, Itachi replying,

"Getting him away from the kids!"

Fortunately, it seemed to have worked. Sasuke relinquished his grip of the wagon and hissed at the prospect of actual food. However, that wasn't _all_ that happened.

With a growl that almost seemed painful, Sasuke's scaled body transformed into one that closer resembled his dragon-self. However, this one was covered in horns and serrated scales, swirls of milky white all over his back and shoulders.

His eyes were the most shocking factor: cold, dark, it was as if there was no trace of the young Uchiha in those eyes as he charged after Itachi and Ivan. The two adults made it back to the library, Itachi insisting that they try and keep him inside. But Sasuke wasn't too far behind: gnashing his sharp teeth as he forced his new, larger body in through the door.

He shook his head to gain his bearings before charging forward, hissing and growling all the while... Just for Ivan to force him into his bedroom. It seemed to have worked, Itachi even had a sigh of relief at thought that maybe, just maybe, they had solved their problem.

Then the noise came: crunching, growling, slamming, and the sounds of shattering glass and ripping paper. When that fracas calmed, Itachi peeked in and immediately groaned, "I just _cleaned_ this room!" Sasuke paid no mind, coiling his large body around the floor with the torn pages of many books hooked on his teeth.

"It doesn't matter," Ivan insisted, "As long as he stays in _here_!" Itachi begrudgingly agreed, walking out and closing the door on the captive dragon. But then the noise came _again_, louder and more intense: managing to shake the entire library. "Please do not be telling me..." Ivan sighed, opening the door.

Sasuke was gone. The only thing that was left in the room was the massive hole in the wall that led outside. "What is this building made out of?" Ivan shouted, "Cardboard?"

"No time!" Itachi shouted, "We need to find my brother!"

* * *

><p>That afternoon at Goldleaf Farms, Soba and Yakisoba had been assigned animal-feeding duty that day. The twin stitch-demons carried the buckets of grain to the pastures where the cows were, hoping to give them something to balance out their grass.<p>

Abruptly, Yakisoba flinched as a pungent smell wafted past his nose. "What _is_ that?" Soba looked around the field, noticing that the cows had gathered in one area and were mooing worriedly. Then... they looked down.

The screams of the two boys had gotten Kakuzu and Hidan's attention and they rushed to the pasture to see what had happened. Upon seeing it, Kakuzu could only whisper, "What fresh hell is this?" There, in the grass, lay a full-grown steer. His throat had been torn out and half of his body had been devoured: entrails spilling out into the grass.

"Who the fuck did this?" Hidan hissed, looking around for any type of hint, "Damn it, this was one of our best steers!"

"Hidan! Kakuzu!" They turned, seeing Itachi and Ivan quickly walking over. "Please, you have to help us find and catch Sasuke! He's out of control!" The two farmers looked to each other before Kakuzu frowned,

"Itachi, we kind of have a bigger problem than Sasuke's teen angst at the moment.", waving a hand towards the carcass.

Ivan's lavender eyes went wide as he whispered, horror roughening his voice, "He has tasted blood... Gods help us..." Hidan looked at the two ad finally had to ask,

"The fuck are you two talking about-"

The cows in the field began panicking, gathering close to each other all the more as if they sensed something. Then, from up above, there was a terrifying hiss. The cows were completely overwhelmed when an eighteen-foot dragon swooped down from the skies and began slashing their stomachs open, lopping off heads and sinking his fangs into tender hides.

"Let me guess." Hidan clenched his teeth, "_This_ is what you needed help with?" Itachi nodded. Kakuzu watched the gruesome scene for a few more moments before he told his sons,

"Get me a rope."

* * *

><p>Some of the cows desperately tried to make their way back to the barn, to safety. But Sasuke was hot on their trails, fangs dripping saliva and blood.<p>

"Ready..." Kakuzu whispered as he, Hidan, Itachi, and Ivan snuck up behind the rampaging dragon when he stopped to take a breather, rope-net at the ready. "Now!" They jumped forward, flinging the net forward. Sasuke snorted at the mediocre assault, his tail whipping forth and grabbing the net just to fling at back at the group.

"Shit!" Hidan yowled out as they were ensnared but he nearly pissed himself when the dragon walked over, looking like it wanted to eat them all...

His attention was taken by something else. He quickly ascended into the air, leaving the demons trapped in the net below.

"I think now would be a good time to start the crying and screaming for help." Ivan stated, the others agreeing as they shouted out in hopes that someone would walk by. To their luck, there was someone flying up above.

To their dismay, it was Alfred: the Trickster Spirit landing and looking at the ensnared group for a moment. Then, his lips twitched. Followed by him falling on the ground, laughing his lungs out, "Bwahaha! You got caught in your own net? What the hell man?"

"Dorogoy!" Ivan shouted, "There is no time for your nonsense! Get us out right-"

A terrified scream echoed over the winds, "What now?" Hidan groaned, Itachi replying,

"It sounded like Zetsu." Alfred quickly got up and cut the net away, the group rushing towards Zetsu's cottage to see what the commotion was about.

* * *

><p>When they got to the plant-demon's cottage, they saw all of the animals panicking and rushing about. But they couldn't find the owner of the space. "Zetsu?" Itachi called out, "Zetsu, are you alright?"<p>

"Up here..." They all looked up, seeing Zetsu and a few squirrels desperately clutching onto a tree branch.

"What the hell happened to you?" Kakuzu asked, tossing up a rope so Zetsu could climb down. The green-haired male explained,

"I was helping the squirrels move to a new home, they just had a new litter so they need more space, when all of a sudden a giant, blood-thirsty _dragon_ rampaged through here!"

"That was Sasuke!" Itachi explained, Zetsu gasping,

"No, it _couldn't _be! This thing just came by and devoured every single fish in the stream along with every beehive in a mile radius _and_ the roof of my house!" Indeed, the moss-roof that covered the house had been torn right off.

Before anymore speculations could be spread, another scream echoed through the air. "That's Tobi!" Zetsu realized, everyone agreeing to go to _Swirl_ and see if the joy-demon was okay.

* * *

><p>Inside of the bakery, Tobi was busy throwing cakes and things at the monster that had barged into his bakery. "Get back! Back, Tobi says, back!" He wasn't alone though, Kisame had come in for a snack a few moments before the beast had arrived. The shark-demon, who had created a simple barrier between them and the monster, insisted,<p>

"Tobi, you're going to piss it off!" Tobi didn't listen, he simply threw more cakes. On the other side of the bakery, mouth messy with flour, blood, and sugar, Sasuke hissed and growled at the flimsy assault. However, after a few hits, he realized that the items being thrown at him were edible and began snapping the sweet treats into his maw.

When the others managed to get inside the torn apart bakery, Itachi immediately shouted, "Tobi, stop feeding him cake!"

"This seems more like _assaulting_ than _feeding_ Itachi!" Kisame insisted as Tobi threw two more cakes. As he tried to reach more ammo in the shelf he was sitting on, he was lashed away by a long, sticky, forked-tongue before the organ coiled around the entire shelf and pulled: the dragon gobbling the display in two bites.

"No! The cake is a lie!" Tobi ran into Zetsu's arms, bemoaning the loss of his wares. But there were other matters to attend to. Claws scraping against the floor, Sasuke stalked towards the group: seeing nothing more than hindrances to his feeding...

However, he soon twitched. Then his body rapidly began to to grow, fill out, and expand until his new girth forced the roof off of _Swirl_. Not even phased, Sasuke growled before flying off to find a new meal.

"That thing's completely out of control!" Kisame quickly unsheathed his sword, determined to go after the beast. He found himself stopped, however, when his sword was stopped mid-air by a field of energy.

"That _thing_," Itachi gritted out, "Is my brother. And no one is touching a single scale on his head until I figure out how to cure him!" With that, Itachi rushed after Sasuke. The others soon followed, Zetsu carefully pulling a near-comatose Tobi along with him.

* * *

><p>The thin bristles of a broom swept across the floors of GlazeFeather Boutique as Naruto tried to tidy up while Sasori and Deidara were out on the town. For some reason, the Kitsune was still being used as a make-shift mannequin: the cloak on his shoulders <em>and<em> Sasori's hat from earlier on his head: the Heartstone Ruby glimmering in the light.

He was so into his chore that he didn't notice the large, slitted eye glaring into the window. It was a good couple of moments later when the blonde finally turned around, nearly fainting when a massive, sharp-scaled tail broke through the walls and grabbed him.

* * *

><p>"<em>Attention Adamant Falls!"<em> Tsunade's voice rang out via the town's emergency radio-system, _"Attention! We are currently under draconian attack! I repeat, please stay calm and-!"_ The message was cut off when the radio-tower was ripped apart by massive, tree-length saber claws. Demons and other creatures desperately rushed to find safety from their assailant.

Standing taller than the highest buildings of Adamant Sea City, with torn, gossamer wings that spread across the skies and scales and horns covering his body, Sasuke let out a mighty roar that shook from the beach-side town all the way to the capital city of Konoha.

And with everyone trying to find cover, no one had the time to see a horrified Naruto screaming for help and trying to find a way out of the tight grip this vicious monster's tail had on him.

The dragon, still hungry, couldn't be bothered with the small pieces of flesh scurrying about. He swung his head down and tore through three houses, smashing the water-tower in the process: sending water everywhere.

"Put me down!" Naruto screamed, clawing at the scales, "Sasori'll kill me if anything happens to his stuff!"

Just as Sasuke was about to fly off again in search of more things to eat, he saw a blur of gold and a blur of brown in front of his eyes. "Put him down now!" Alfred demanded, Deidara looking at the dragon's mass and gulping,

"If you wouldn't mind..."

"I mean it mister!"

"If you would be so gracious as to consider..."

"Drop him scaley!"

At that point, Sasuke had had more than enough. He whipped Naruto around at the two like a fly-swatter: not taking into account the blonde's discomfort in the least. Finally, the momentum forced the cape to wind around the two air-bound demons and sent them sinking into the ocean when it finally tore from the Kitsune's shoulders.

"My cape!" Sasori promptly passed out, not even noting that his fiance had fallen into the sea.

"Itachi!" Though his mind was focused on the chaotic manner at hand, the weasel-demon was able to recognize a familiar voice.

"Father? Mother?"

Apparently, the dragon and weasel-demoness had decided to drop by for a visit since they had missed their younger son's birthday. However, they were greeted by the sight of a massive dragon destroying the town.

"What the hell is going on here?" Fugaku pushed his way through the group, fuming as he saw Sasuke, "Your brother is up there sending the image of dragons back several thousand years!"

Everyone had to dodge out of the way when Sasuke sent a mass of coral into the ground, forming a steaming crater.

Angered to the point of no return, Fugaku shifted into dragon-form and flew into Sasuke's line of vision. He let out as vicious a roar as he could muster to his younger son. For a moment, all was still. But then, you could _feel_ the air tremble as the beast chuckled: his mouth growing into a dripping smirk.

"_**GROW... CONSUME...**_" He growled, licking his lips, **_"DEVOUR..."_**

"His mind is completely gone!" Ivan shook his head, "He is more monster than youth now!" Mikoto broke into a mess of sobs, Itachi snapping at the group,

"Stop that! Sasuke is still in there, we just have to get him out again so he'll change back!" He had to jump out of the way when his father's body was slammed into the grown near him, "Oh gods, please help us."

As if on cue, the massive dragon was abruptly hit by a wave of water, a massive boulder of ice and snow, and a cyclone. "Hey, wait a minute." Kisame noted before he looked over and called out, "It's Lord Sanbi!"

There was a large boat out at sea, Sanbi No Same and Rokubi No Raijuu along with Yuki, Co, and Ral standing on the bow. While Sasuke was distracted, Sanbi and Rokubi made their way over via one of the weasel-deity's lightning bolts.

"Rokubi-sama..." Itachi bowed before pleading, "Please... _Please_ tell me that you can help us save my brother!"

Sanbi shook his head before telling his wife, "Explain to them."

"This is the cause of a Lunar Sapphire," Rokubi explained, "They're rare, deadly gems that have been forbidden from draconian consumption since the Celestial/Lunar Dragon Treaty of the Shimaya Reign."

"Of course..." Ivan rubbed his temples, "That would be explaining the rapid growth and violent hunger."

"None of that matters now!" Kisame snapped, "We need to stop Sasuke!" Sanbi nodded before shouting out to the Royal Guardsmen in the water,

"Take him out!"

"What?" Itachi and Fugaku screamed, Mikoto passing out. Sanbi tried to explain himself as the Guardsmen got into position,

"We need to incapacitate your brother so we can see about healing him. I'm sorry Itachi, I wish there was another way but this is our only option." After another signal from the shark-deity, the three Royal Guardsmen jumped into action: attacks at the ready.

Sasuke saw it coming however and turned around, revealing that he still had Naruto hostage in his tail. "CIVILIAN!" Yuki shouted, she and the others stopping and allowing the dragon to smack them into the water.

"No!" Sanbi gritted his teeth, Hidan groaning,

"I almost forgot that Naruto is up there! Fuck, what do we do?" Options were dwindling fast, the group was out of ideas and Sasuke didn't look like he would stop anytime soon. In fact, his tail was moving closer to his mouth...

"Sasuke, NO!" Itachi shouted. On Naruto's end, the Kitsune gasped as he realized,

"Sasuke... Is that really you?" He looked deep into the eyes of the beast and shook his head, "Oh Sasuke... Did I..." He sniffed back tears, "Did I do this to you? Oh Sasuke, I'm so sorry..." The dragon didn't respond. Whether he could or couldn't was debatable. "I just wanted to get you a nice birthday gift... to show how much I appreciate you and all the stuff that you do. I _never_ wanted something like this to happen!" A few tears streamed down his cheeks before he spoke once more, "Which is why, if you're going to eat me... I have one final request." Sasuke huffed, a strange sort of signal for the blonde to go on, "A little closer..." Naruto gulped as he was brought right next to Sasuke's fanged mouth.

"Sasuke..." He whimpered. He then closed his eyes before leaning forward and pressing a soft, gentle kiss to the dragon's lip.

That gesture...

That simple, yet emotionally-charged gesture shook Sasuke down to his core, memories rushing through his mind.

* * *

><p>"<em>Hello there." The young dragon began as he strolled over to the young fox-demon's side. <em>

"_Oh!" The young blonde replied, "Haven't seen you around before. I'm Uzumaki Naruto." _

"_Uchiha Sasuke." Sasuke introduced himself, struck still at the blonde's smile… _

_For a full, painfully awkward five minutes. _

"_Um…" Naruto's ears twitched as he looked around nervously. Finally he announced, "I have errands to run. You know, the Festival is tomorrow… Nice to meet you Sasuke.", before he shifted his form into that of a thigh-high sized blonde fox with two tails and bounded off. _

"_Beautiful…" Sasuke sighed before he shook his head and called out, "Do you want to go out—Oh! Damn it!", when he realized that the fox-demon was gone._

* * *

><p>"<em>Can I try one?" Sasuke nearly choked before he looked up and saw Naruto standing besides him. <em>

"_Sure…" Sasuke sighed as he handed the fox-demon one of the muffins, "Where were you these past two days?" Naruto sniffed at the burnt muffin before taking a bite of it and saying, _

"_I had to go to Konoha for an errand. And you know…" He took another bite, "This is actually pretty good!" _

"_I think I've fallen in love with him… Again!"_

* * *

><p>"<em>Ow, ow, ow!" Naruto yowled in pain as his hair was tugged at by two birds who wanted to make a nest. Sasuke was too busy trying to chase after Himawari, the white rabbit trying to climb up the bookshelves before he finally grabbed her. <em>

"_How does Zetsu deal with you furry little bastards?" He seethed as Himawari was still trying to get away from him. _

* * *

><p>A tear rolled down from Sasuke's eye. The dragon felt suddenly ill, groaning as he lurched forth and vomiting half of his stomach's contents into the ocean. He then spasmed, trembled, and quaked before finally, in a poof of blue smoke, he found his body shrunken down to normal.<p>

"Sasuke!" Naruto shouted, "You're okay! You're..." The Kitsune looked down and saw how high up in the air they were. It was such a shock that the blonde promptly passed out.

"Naruto!" Sasuke called over as they both began plummeting to the ocean, specifically the coral-mass below.

On the shore, Tobi was watching the new development through a pair of binoculars. "Someone do something!" He cried, falling back on his rump. But Alfred and Deidara were still too water-logged and the Royal-Guardsmen were still dazed from their earlier assault.

Up in the air, quickly approaching the harsh, sharp coral, "Naruto, I know you can't hear me..." Sasuke spoke up as they fell, trying to grab the unconscious blonde, "But I have to tell you something! I've always..." He coughed, "I've always had a crush on you... Which is why I refuse to let your life _end like this_!" The navy-bluenette grabbed the young blonde and held him close: shielding the other with his own body.

And then, he shut his eyes.

The sound of impact echoed all around, as if a meteor had struck the earth. "SASUKE!" Itachi screamed, he and his mother jumping onto Fugaku's back as he shifted into dragon-form and flew over to see if the youth was alright.

"Please, please, please..." Mikoto was silently praying as they flew over, everyone else joining the frantic rush via Sanbi's back in his three-tailed shark form.

The coral mass had been completely blown apart in some places, the rest of it smoking and steaming. Footsteps were made carefully and slowly until the two bodies could be seen.

"Sasuke!" Itachi rushed over, Kisame following,

"Naruto!"

For a while, the two bodies quietly lay there, still: causing everyone to fear the worst. But then, a soft mewl from the blonde, "Teme... too tight..." And then,

"Fuck, my head..." Sasuke groaned, letting go of the blonde in favor of rubbing the back of his head, "Dragon scales and skin may be the toughest substance in Terram, but that doesn't mean that impacts still don't hurt like a bitch!"

"My baby!" Mikoto grabbed her youngest son up into a crushing hug, "Oh Sasuke, thank the gods your okay!"

"And thank goodness that Naruto's okay too!" Sasori offered, quietly groaning, "The same can't be said for my cape~!"

* * *

><p>The authorities were cleaning up the wreckage of the town, Sasuke watching them from the porch of the library. All the destruction he had done... He didn't even know if he should stay or move back to Konoha... "Sasuke?" The dragon looked over and saw Naruto, the blonde wrapped up in a blanket, "That was really brave of you."<p>

"What?" Sasuke huffed, "My rampaging of the town or my eating everything in sight?" But the Kitsune shook his head,

"You were able to revert yourself back to normal on your own. You're..." A light blush dusted his cheeks, "You're my hero." Before Sasuke could say anything else, Naruto had pressed another kiss to his cheek: steam pouring out of the navy-bluenette's ears as his own blush came back full-force.

* * *

><p>Later that evening, Sasuke was lying in bed as he wrote a quick, simple letter, "'To the desk of the Ten Celestials of Terram,<p>

I would like to report what I have learned about Unity today. One would think it would be great to just take everything you want and not think of the consequences, but you could potentially be taking things away from those you care about. I learned that it's truly better to give rather than to receive. Oh, and also to look before I eat. Charity truly is one of the greatest treasures in the world'. Well..." He chuckled, rubbing his cheek as the image of an adorable blonde Kitsune came into mind, "_One _of them anyway."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**( 1 ) Tabitha St Germain is Rarity's voice actress in FiM. A nice little reference. **

**Aw, how sweet... You know, after all the fear and panic. Thanks for reading, reviews are nice... Even though the new fanfiction format is kind of... weird... **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	28. Unity Day Part 1

**A/N: This part of the update is LONG, I warn you now. But, then again, the episode its based on has a lot to jump off on so... yeah. **

**Enjoy... **

* * *

><p>The whistle of a large, black train powered by demon-flames could be heard in the snowy mountain ranges of Terram. This train in particular was a larger class than most and it was in a fleet of six, each train on different tracks, because they were busy transporting creatures from their homes to Konoha for a very special occasion. Inside the first train, Itachi, carrying a snugly dressed Miyu in his lap, looked out the window and stated, "We're almost there!"<p>

"I can hardly wait!" Alfred pushed his way to the window, Zetsu adding,

"I'm so excited... I... I feel like _shouting_." He took a deep breath and gently called, "Whoo-hoo." Hidan opened the window closest to him and shouted,

"Konoha, here we come!" Next to him, Sasori and Deidara peeked out; the redhead speaking out,

"Oh, I _do_ hope we look festive enough!" He was, of course, referring to the over-sized winter-themed top-hat and holiday-tree themed ensemble he wore to compliment the snow and ornament make-up designs on Deidara's cheeks.

Out of nowhere, however, Tobi popped out of the scorpion-demon's hat and cheered, "There it is! Konoha!"

The Capital City was decorated in beautiful decorations, all of a red, blue, orange, and gold scheme: a sign over the main road reading, "Have a Joyous Unity Day!"

* * *

><p>The group had come along with their children (and in the case of Kakuzu) grandmother so they made quite the entourage. Especially with the Chakra-Mark Musketeers laughing and playing about.<p>

However, it seemed that Kisame and Kakuzu weren't as excited as everyone else was. So Ivan decided to draw some attention to this. "Comrades," The Baba Yaga asked, "You are not in the high spirits. Why is that?" Everyone else turned towards the shark and stitch demons, Kisame chuckling,

"Well, you see..."

"The thing about it is..." Kakuzu cleared his throat. Finally, Obaa-san creaked out,

"Water-demons aren't aloud to celebrate Unity Day, for some _stupid_ reason..."

"But..." Itachi made sure that Miyu's snow-cap was on tight, "Why is that?" As soon as he asked that, the group stopped in front of the Konoha political office and saw an official from Adamant Sea City ranting and raving,

"This _scam _of a holiday needs to be halted! I demand a cease and desist immediately!" Rokubi-sama, who had been out buying specialty foods for the other Celestials, sighed,

"Every year we go through this Watergate. _What_ is so harmful about this day?" The water-demon, now dubbed Watergate, adjusted his suit-jacket, and scoffed,

"Such a scandalous day indeed! Making water-demons out in a bad light. The ASC Offices won't stand for it!" Rokubi only shook his head, looking over and called over,

"Itachi! It's so good to see you and your friends again – Oh, and it's Miyu!" As the weasel-deity walked over and gave Miyu a small candy pin-wheel, Watergate keyed in on Kisame and the stitch-demons before fuming,

"You! How dare you all come to celebrate this mud-slinging of water-demon culture-!" Obaa-san interrupted with a shout,

"Don't you start that nonsense with _me_ young man! Unity Day is more than just a bunch of easily-riled twits getting their panties in a bunch so go on and get!"

"Like, wow..." Peachy blinked in awe, Kire whistling,

"Go Obaa-san..."

Seeing that he wasn't going to get anywhere today, Watergate tossed up his arms and walked off. "I invite you to come to the Unity Day Pageant!" Rokubi called after him before he chuckled, "And I want to thank you and your friends for coming to help us with the Pageant this year."

"Of course!" Itachi smiled, "It's an honor that no one would pass up for the world." The weasel-deity nodded, then saying,

"Well, the Pageant isn't until tomorrow evening. You all should enjoy yourselves with the festivities until then. The other Celestials and I have reserved your hotels for your duration here so just have fun." Hefting up the food he had bought, the brown-haired deity walked off in the direction of the Crystal Palace, "Have fun, I'll see you all tomorrow!"

* * *

><p>As the group walked and toured around the city, Naruto couldn't help but sigh in awe, "Wow... Konoha always looks so pretty this time of year!"<p>

"Yeah," Hidan agreed, "Almost makes you wish that it was Unity Day _everyday_!"

Since it was both of their first years celebrating the holiday, Kisame and Kakuzu were even more impressed. "There's so much to look at." Kakuzu looked around, Kisame adding,

"With so much to see, it feels like your eyes would pop out of your head!"

"CANDY!"

"WHERE?" Tobi and Alfred shouted in that order before they rushed over to a festive candy-store and each bought a large bag of candy, Tobi chomping away at a large four-colored cookie.

* * *

><p>The rest of the day consisted of eating, dancing as they got caught up in several music numbers, buying souvenirs and new clothes, reuniting with old friends, and finally settling down into their hotel rooms. However, as the kids and other tag-alongs were in bed, the main group stayed up a few hours longer: each reading the same story book on the story of Unity Day...<p>

* * *

><p>The next evening, creatures from all over were filing into the theater chamber of the Celestials' Crystal Palace to see the Pageant: a yearly tradition.<p>

Inside, seats were being filled at an alarming rate and those behind the stage curtain were rushing to get everything and every_one_ ready for the show. Two fairies flew by with some air-hanging props while a phoenix brushed her hair and feathers and pulled them up into a bun. An ogre carried a table past a poster that presented all of the characters in the Pageant and who they would be played by:

_Shark-Fang the Fierce and Shark-Skin the Timid to be played by Hoshigaki Kisame_

_RedSpire the Fair to be played by Akasuna Sasori_

_Jingle the Jolly-hearted to be played by Uchiha Tobi_

_Goldenlock to be played by Azumoji Deidara _

_With Bushy-Tailed the Bright by Uchiha Tobi _

_Vladimir by Ivan Braginski_

_Ivory Mane by Hoku-Shiroi Hidan_

_Rides With Sunset by Alfred_

_Lullen by Zetsu _

_Azure by Uchiha Sasuke _

_Eris by Hoku-Shiroi Peachy _

_The WinterScorn by Hoku-Shiroi Kakuzu_

"I still can't believe that we're going to be the stars of one of the most important plays in the season!" Itachi spoke up as Deidara, dressed in golden tribal attire much like that of the Mayans, helped him put on a simple, fluffy cloak, "This is such an honor!"

"Oh..." Zetsu sighed as he put on a tribal outfit much like Deidara's without all the gold, "I wish the Celestials hadn't honored _me_ so much... I haven't been on stage since that fiasco with Feliks Pink; I CAN'T DO CROWDS~!"

On the other side of the dressing room, Kakuzu was all frowns as he gritted out, "I don't see what you all are complaining about – At least you got roles in your own gender and size-range!" He groaned again when one of the directors brought the dress, yes _dress_, that he was supposed to wear.

"Um, could you all quiet it down a bit?" Kisame asked, reading over the spell-scroll that Sanbi had given him.

Sasori walked over to Zetsu's side and wrapped an arm around his friend's shoulder, "The point is that we have to try our best to look fabulous for all of the hundreds of thousands of creatures and demons who will be watching us!"

The poor plant-demon promptly rushed over to a wardrobe and hid himself inside. Sasori chuckled and shook his head before looking to make some minor adjustments to his Victorian-styled suit and cloak when there was a sudden frigid gale. "Ugh! Ivan, cut it out!"

The Baba Yaga, who was trying to get used to the grey and blue hair extensions in his hair, shook his head while grabbing his simple silver cloak, "That was not being me comrade. The window must have opened."

"My hair, un~!" Deidara whined before looking to Hidan and asking, "Hidan, be a good kitty and shut that window would you?" The cat-demon in the formal white yukata rolled his magenta eyes and walked over to the offending window. Right by it though, dressed in ancient clothes from his Trickster Spirit tribe, Alfred was too busy looking at himself in the mirror and mock cheering,

"Whoo! Alfred! Alfred! Thank you, you're too kind!" However, Sasuke rolled his eyes at this,

"This is a reenactment of the Unification of Terram, _not_ the Alfred show!"

"Mom~!" Peachy rushed over to Hidan, tears in her eyes, "I don't want to play Eris, this going to be mega-bad for my acting career if my first major role was of such a horrible creature~! Oh, beauty, why arst thou such a curse?"

Itachi and Tobi were busy trying to get Zetsu out of the closet, not even noticing when Naruto peeked his head into the dressing room to state that show-time was in two minutes.

"Gods," Sasuke shook his head when Alfred was puffing himself up, "You're such an airhead."

"Takes one to know one."

"Zetsu-san!" Tobi whined at the wardrobe, "Come out already!"

Both Sasori and Deidara were shivering from the open window and whining about their clothes and hair. "Ivan," Sasori snapped, "Make yourself useful!"

"I am sorry," Ivan rolled his eyes, "That the two of you are too lazy to do it yourselves!"

Kakuzu shook his head at the dress, "I'm not wearing this, my dignity would never recover!"

It all came to a head when Kisame roared, "By Sanbi's lyrical voice, would everyone SHUT UP!" The shout echoed all throughout the stage-rooms and even to the audience. But finally, Kisame had enough peace and quiet to perform the spell.

Since he was playing two roles at once for two completely different characters, Sanbi had found him a spell that would allow him to split himself into two individuals for the duration of the play. So, performing a few hand-seals, the shark-demon was surrounded by a light blue light before, after a flash, it seemed like the spell had worked.

However, it had worked down to a T: splitting his emotions right down the middle. "And would someone close that _damn_ window?" His angrier half shouted, his calmer half stating,

"Whenever you can."

In the audience, everyone had taken their seats. Including a very indignant Watergate who was fussing and complaining all the while as he sat in the Celestials' special box-seating.

Finally, the lighting dimmed and the curtains opened: revealing Naruto dressed in a vermillion suit standing by a roaring fire-place, five fox-tails swishing behind him. "Good evening," He began, "And may I first welcome you all and thank you for sharing this most gracious of holidays with us this evening." He took a few steps away from the fire, "A long time ago before the peaceful reign and collective governance of the Ten Celestials and before we gave the land of Terram its name, the creatures of this land did not know Unity."

"That's my nephew up there!" Kyuubi No Kitsune nudged Watergate's shoulder, the stuffy water-demon rolling his eyes. The blonde Kitsune continued,

"It was a strange, dark time. A time of great unrest and fear. That foul enchantress Eris was using her foul powers to ravage the world." One the other side of the stage, a large plume of grey smoke billowed up. In the center of it, lightning crackling around her, Peachy was dressed up as Eris: cackling away as her blonde wig whipped in the window. "During this time of chaos, the Ten Celestials were too busy trying to fight Eris to try and look over the various kingdoms and colonies around the world. This was a time when all creatures were torn apart by a horrible force..." He glanced out to the stage, "Hatred."

A gasp rushed over the crowd, Naruto shaking his head, "During this frightening age, there were four main groups of creatures: divided by where they lived and worked. And at this time, the earth-demons, air-demons, mystics, and water-demons cared not for what befell the others but only about themselves." A small group of creatures representing each group: the earth-demons dressed in simple yukatas, the air-demons dressed in tribal dresses and loincloths, the mystics clad in rich, decadent robes, and the water-demons in togas and armor, walked onto the stage before turning up their noses at each other.

"In these troubled times, much like now," Naruto began, "The water-demons were in charge of the weather." Two toga-clad water-demons walked up from the part of the stage decorated to loo like the sea: spreading water and snowflakes in certain areas. "Of course, they demanded something in return fr their work." An earth-demon and an ogre walked onto the stage with a wagon of fruits and vegetables. "Though they had a steady diet of fish and ocean-riches, they wanted the fruits and vegetables that could only be grown on land. And in order for the earth-demons to grow the fruit and vegetables, the air-demons brought the seeds from other lands." A bird-demoness and a harpy flew into sight: dropping a bag of seeds and taking their share of the fruits and vegetables, "Not without their own price of course."

The two earth creatures we visibly distressed at the amount of vegetables that were left. But in came a fairy and a phoenix representing the Mystics. "The Mystics wanted their own share as well, in return for conveying messages to the gods Tsukuyomi and Amaterasu to keep the sun and moon rising and falling." The two Mystics on stage grabbed their share of food with their magic, each group going on their way. "Thus," Naruto shook his head, "Mistrust between the groups festered. Growing worse and worse until one tragic day when it came to erupt. And what was this event that shattered the status-quo?" Naruto walked off stage, the curtain slowly opening onto a new scene, "A mysterious, unending blizzard that over-took the land..."

* * *

><p>Thunder broke through the skies, blizzards whipping around and completely obscuring the skies and freezing any type of liquid. Naruto's voice narrated the events, <em>"The normally industrious earth-demons were unable to grow in such conditions."<em>

A yukata-clad demoness clawed at her desolate, frozen-over garden path. She gasped when, peeking out of the snow and ice, she found a weed. "Is it edible?" She asked as she dug it out. Abruptly, it shriveled up and died: the wind blowing her into the ground as well as knocking over two houses.

Two male demons tried to start a fire to remedy their new homelessness, but the flames would always be extinguished. _"The earth-demons were freezing to death..."_

* * *

><p>"<em>However, the home of the water-demons fared no better."<em> In the oceans that the water-demons called home, a small troupe of soldiers were chipping a hole in the ice barrier that had frozen over their sea. Not only that, the cold was killing off all of there fish and forcing other prey-animals to leave to find warmer homes.

One guard keeled over from malnutrition, another resorting to trying to eat his shoes. All around them, creatures were falling left and right from hunger. _"The water-demons were starving..."_

* * *

><p>In the high-mountain kingdoms of the air-demons, various flying creatures could barely fly due to the cold and the fact that surrounding predator animals had resorted to hunting <em>them<em> for food in this dark, food-less age. _"The air-demons were in peril..." _

* * *

><p>Finally, in the Mystic kingdom, the creatures there were fighting off an oncoming plague that had rolled in due to the cold and lack of food. "Bring out your dead!" A traveling under-taker called out as he pushed a wagon filled with corpses through the icy roads.<p>

Inside even the wealthiest homes, there was nothing to eat except a few scarce beans. And, on top of that, most of their homes couldn't take the onslaught of snow and collapsed in on themselves. _"The Mystics were sick, cold, _and_ hungry... Their magics didn't help them in the least."_

* * *

><p>"<em>Of course, each of the groups blamed the others for their pain and suffering."<em> On stage, water-demon guard had just brutally beaten and robbed an earth-demon for what small food they had. However, an air demon swooped in and grabbed the recently stolen food. But they were quickly shot down by a bolt of energy. _"But the more they fought and battled each other, the _worse_ the blizzards became..."_

"_It was decided,"_ Naruto explained as the surviving creatures from all over poured into the earth-demon conference hall, _"That a forum would be held to figure out what to do to quell the blizzard."_ Inside, all of the creatures either talked among their own groups, hurled insults at the others, or kept an open eye in case anyone had food. _"Each kingdom sent their leaders..."_ With a flourish of brass horns and the waving of the mystic flag (a velvet tapestry with a swirl of red and blue magic on it), the doors opened revealing a red-haired male dressed in deep crimson suit and cloak, ruby earrings, a rose-gold crown and a ruby-encrusted scepter that brought the whole ensemble together. _"The son of the recently deceased Mystic King, RedSpire the Fair..."_

Next there was a procession of wild, yet elegant drums, the air-demon flag waving (feathers and spider's-silk woven into a design depicting a dove in flight) as a blonde strolled in. His blonde hair was long around his shoulders, woven with feathers and golden trinkets and his blue eyes were surrounded by blue eye-shadow, his revealing clothes composed completely of gold and gold-material. _"The recently widowed Empress Goldenlock of the air-demons..."_

A louder flourish of horns and drums heralded the waving of the water-demon flag (waves crashing into the shore embroidered onto navy blue canvas) and the arrival of two shark-demons. Both had the same blue skin and were about the same height, they _were_ brothers, but the first one's cobalt hair was wild: his grin sharp and armor golden as he looked towards the water-demons and beat his chest, shouting, "WATER-DEMONS!"

"AROO!" The water-demons replied in earnest. _"The savage ruler of the water-demons Shark-Fang the Fierce..."_ The other shark-demon, his hair white, his armor silver, and his demeanor much calmer, managed to trip over himself on the walk in. _"And his much less-savage brother Shark-Skin the Timid..."_ Shark-Fang quickly helped his brother up.

Finally, with an uproar of whistles, chimes, and bells, along with the raid strumming of a Biwa came before the unrolling of the earth-demon flag (a rising sun over-looking a garden), the earth-demon leader bounced onto the scene.

Literally.

His kimono was covered in bright splashes of color and had bells attached to the sleeves as he hopped forward: an overly large, brightly colored hat on his head. _"And finally, Emperor Jingle the Jolly-hearted of the 8th Firework Dynasty. Perhaps, just perhaps these four could convince their tribes to set aside their differences and see a way through this blizzard."_

Each important figure set their hats, crowns, and helmets on the discussion table: glaring at each other for any signs of weakness. And then... They all exploded into a rush of yells and screams as each creature tried to make their point the right one.

"You will tell me," Shark-Fang the Fierce slammed a fist against the table, glaring down Jingle the Jolly-hearted, "And you will tell me _now_ why the earth-demons are hoarding their food!" The water-demons agreed with their leader's question, Jingle the Jolly-hearted pouting,

"_Us_? We're not hogging the food, _you're_ hogging the food! Hey, wait a minute..." Shark-Fang rolled his eyes, Jingle speaking up, "Oh yeah, we are. Well, if the airy-fairy-scary demons would bring us better, stronger seeds then _maybe_ we could keep growing food for everyone!"

"Well, my spastic dear," Goldenlock began, his voice breathy and airy, "We can't focus on getting seeds when there _aren't _any to find. Not to mention my people having to worry about being devoured by creatures running away from certain," He gave a point glance to the two shark-demons, "Weather-changes."

"But..." Shark-Skin the Timid offered, "This weather isn't our doing."

"Don't waste your breath," Shark-Fang growled, "Especially when its probably those freakish Mystics and their magics!" RedSpire the Fair rolled his eyes before speaking out,

"Don't group me and _my_ kind with your lot. Unlike thy ruffian sort, Mystics are cultured and refined. We would never resort to such... garish measures." He called to the Mystics in the room, "I callest for a group 'humph'."

"Humph!" The other Mystics turned up their noses at the other groups. But Jingle sighed,

"Well, if you non-earths aren't going to get a handle of your weirdo powers, I'm just plum-out of ideas!"

Shark-Fang chuckled, "An earth-demon without an idea, oh _be still_ my heart..." The earth-demons booed at the insult, Goldenlock frowning,

"_Shark-Fang the Fierce!_ Please cease with the callous words!"

The shark-demon gritted his teeth before jumping onto the table and stomped over to the bird-demon, growling, "_You_... Don't control me! Neither _you_, the idiot, or the effeminate blob over there!" He was pointing RedSpire at this point, the redhead gasping,

"How _darest_ thee? _I_ am the Mystic King," He used his magic to place his crown on his head (placing it upside down, but still), "And I _refuse_ to be spoken to this way!" He grabbed his scepter and cloak before he stormed towards the door.

"Oh, water-demons go after _no_ creatures!" Shark-Fang gritted out, grabbing Shark-Skin and rushing to get to the door before RedSpire. Then Goldenlock tried floating over, all of the leaders being beaten by Jingle who insisted,

"I'm going first!" The leaders fought amongst themselves, each one trying to get outside until their pressure on the door finally broke it: each leader going off in their own directions. _"And thus..."_ Naruto sighed as clouds rolled in, surrounding a ice-covered figure in a torn gown: her eyes fierce and icy-blue, _"The blizzards grew stronger..."_

* * *

><p>Back in present time, Naruto stood in the middle of Kisame, Sasori, Deidara, and Tobi as he explained, "The conference of the kingdoms did <em>not<em> go as planned. So each of the leaders went back to their homes to lick their wounds... and complain up a storm..."

"I'm liking this Shark-Fang fellow..." Watergate whispered as he stole some of Kyuubi's popcorn.

* * *

><p>The blizzards ruthlessly ravaged the land, freezing any source of water it came across. When Shark-Fang the Fierce and his brother came back to their ocean, he groaned as it looked like he would have to chip his way back in. "My sword." He held out his hand, Shark-Skin the Timid handing him a large steel weapon.<p>

He then went to work, using his frustration and anger to power his attacks. Shark-Skin carefully dodged any ice that was sent flying his way, getting hit a few times until a hole was made. The two shark-demons jumped in, swimming down to their city of ivory pillars and statues. Shark-Fang looked at his palace, the guards all in some sort of exhaustion. "ATTENTION!" The guards quickly stood to welcome their ruler who, upon being able to stand, asked, "Well? Aren't you all curious on how it went?"

"My Emperor, sir!" One of the guards began, "How did you fair, sir?"

"HORRIBLY!" Shark-Fang roared, sharp-teeth bared, "The other _kingdoms_, if we can call them that, and their leaders have _no_ respect for their superiors! We are a society of might warriors and shall _not_ be crossed! WATER-DEMONS!"

"AROO!" The guards whooped back, Shark-Skin jumping from the loud noise.

"And mark my words," Shark-Fang growled, "If it comes down to it, we will hunt and slay every last one of them if it meant food for our wives and children."

* * *

><p>RedSpire the Fair struggled to make it back to his castle, shivering uncontrollably even when he got to the large doors. He collapsed against it, moaning, "Bushy-Tailed the Bright! Vladimir! Come thee to your king's aid!"<p>

A squirrel-demon in a brown, fluffy cloak rushed to RedSpire's side, gently speaking, "It is alright your majesty, you'll be fine." Then, a long-haired Baba Yaga walked in with two blankets: RedSpire snatching both of them for himself.

"Were the other kingdoms seeing the wisdom of joining forces your majesty?" Vladimir asked, RedSpire huffing and walking to his throne,

"Those other groups are _impossible_! Never havest I wasted so much time as I didst there!" Vladimir and Bushy-Tailed used their magic to melt some of the ice in the room into a bowl of warm water for their king's feet, the redhead continuing his laments, "I simply refuse to be in there company for another minute! We Mystics arest a noble breed: majestic, intelligent, we shall not consort with the likes of _them_!" He plopped his feet into the bowl, splashing the faces of his advisers.

* * *

><p>"Your fairness," Two of Goldenlock's chambermaids greeted him as he walked into his tree house palace, "Would you like us to prepare some hot chocolate for you?" Goldenlock shook his head,<p>

"No, that tiny bit of chocolate could be used to feed some of the children in the city. Undress me." The two chambermaids began their task, not noticing when he got two visitors.

"Your fairness," A green-haired lily-spirit gently greeted the blonde as he dismounted the back of the dark blue dragon he had rode in on, "My apologies for interrupting your time."

"Think not of it Lullen," Goldenlock sighed, "Tell me, how did you fair on finding seeds that can grow on our own mountains?" The green-haired spirit sighed,

"No such luck your fairness."

"I see." The blonde held out his arms, allowing for perfumed oils to be poured onto his skin before an evening robe of gold was draped over his shoulders, "How about any new sources of food? You and Azure," He looked at his pet dragon, "Were gone for quite a while."

The dragon gave a sad sigh, Lullen shaking his head, "Nothing in the least." Goldenlock sent the chambermaids on their way, laying out on his bed and beckoning Azure over. He scratched the dragon between his horns, nodding,

"I see."

* * *

><p>Inside of the castle that rested in the earth-demon capital, a cat-demon in a white yukata and a young Trickster Spirit dressed in heavy, tan leather were feeding some wood to the small fire they sat in front of.<p>

However, it was all in vain when, in a cloud of ash, Jingle the Jolly-hearted fell rump first on top of the fire: effectively extinguishing the flames. The Trickster sighed, the cat-demon asking,

"My emperor, wouldn't it have been easier to use a door?"

"Maybe for _you,_ Ivory Mane, but _I_ am the Emperor and _I_ was put into power because of my _incredible_ intelligence and ability to think outside the box! Meaning that _I_..." He stood up inside the chimney, ash billowing out as he hit his head, "Can also think _inside_ the chimney! Right Rides With Sunset?" The Trickster Spirit in the room immediately frowned,

"Don't bring me into this." Jingle smiled as he walked into the courtyard which had recently gotten a roof due to all of the snow. However, he soon stopped, beaming,

"Oh my goodness! Hold onto your skirts! I am about to be _brilliant_!"

"The world must be ending..." Rides With Sunset frowned. But Jingle continued,

"I hereby state that earth-demons shall go it alone! Carpe Diem!"

Rides With Sunset threw his hands up in the air, not knowing what else to say. Ivory Mane shook his head, "So the four kingdoms couldn't work together? Damn, I really thought it would be better if we go in on this together!"

"Don't worry you two!" Jingle wrapped his arms around the shoulders of his two assistants, "We're going to be fine! _We_ control all of the food, remember?"

Rides With Sunset immediately snapped, "We're _out_ of food! Nothing can _grow_ anywhere!"

Jingle the Jolly-hearted rolled his eyes, bouncing off, "Fine. We'll just have to go somewhere and find a place to grow more! With _me_ as leader, what could possibly go wrong?"

Just then, the courtyard roof collapsed: snow falling everywhere. Rides With Sunset buried his face into his palms, Ivory Mane sighing, "Where to begin?"

Jingle puffed up his chest, beginning again, "The point is..."

* * *

><p>"We must find a new home!" The four leaders unknowingly agreed in their respective homes.<p>

* * *

><p>The neighs of sea-horses cried out across the icy oceans, Shark-Fang the Fierce and Shark-Skin the Timid rushing across the ocean on sea-horse back. The winds abruptly picked up, lightning crashing down.<p>

Shark-Skin nearly lost control of his seahorse with the new extreme conditions. "Get a hold of yourself!" Shark-Fang gritted out, Shark-Skin struggling to get his seahorse back on track. "You need to stop showing weakness brother! When we conquer the new world, we'll need to rule it with an iron fist!"

"Couldn't we just – Whoa there," Shark-Skin tightened his hold on his reigns, "Try to reason with the residents?"

"NO!" Shark-Fang growled, "Now, keep up!"

* * *

><p>Up in the air, Goldenlock and Lullen were searching for their new home from the air via Azure's back. The dragon weaved through frigid air and lightening, the air Empress sighing, "Oh, I can't see anything with all this snow! Lullen, how about you jump off and take a look before we pick you back up?"<p>

"I don't think that's such a good idea..." The lily-spirit replied.

* * *

><p>RedSpire could be seen on the ground walking with his two advisers. However, a minute later the redhead whined, "Oh, this is simply taking <em>forever<em>!" He looked down at his boots, "And mine feet are honestly killing me – How long havest we walked Vladimir?"

The Baba Yaga replied, "A full five minutes your majesty.", pointing to the castle that was still behind them.

"Ugh!" RedSpire groaned, "Since when was finding and founding a new kingdom so hard? My father always said that the Mystic Kingdom was arisen in a day!" Bushy-Tailed sighed with a shake of his head, the young king asking,

"And what is _that_ supposed to mean? Dost thou taunt me?"

"Oh no sir, I completely agree with you." Bushy-Tailed replied, but RedSpire wasn't satisfied,

"What is that tone of which thou taketh?"

"I believe that I have come up with a new way of speaking, m'lord." The squirrel-demon reasoned.

"And that would be..?"

Bushy-Tailed the Bright walked forward, offering, "I call it 'sarcasm', m'lord..."

"Anyway..." RedSpire began anew, "Despite how harsh this is, it will all be worth it when we find my new kingdom and – CEASE THIS MOMENT!"

Both Bushy-Tailed and Vladimir rushed over, the Baba Yaga asking, "What is it?" RedSpire said nothing, pointing a finger towards what in _his_ eyes was a rushing river...

But in reality was only a small stream.

"It is only stream." Vladimir frowned, beginning the careful trek across the rocks. But RedSpire fervently refused,

"And get my cloak dirty? My kingdom for a horse!"

* * *

><p>And in a massive ravine, Ivory Mane and Rides With Sunset traveled behind Jingle: the Emperor wearing the map he had drawn up on his face like a Noh mask. He walked one way, the other two followed...<p>

Just for him to double-back, "Yes, yes."

And double-back again, "This is_ definitely_ the way!"

The Trickster Spirit disagreed, "We're going in _circles_!" Indeed, they could even see their circling footsteps on the snow.

"Impossiburu!" Jingle pouted, "Are you trying to say I'm reading this map, _my_ map, wrong?"

"No..." Ivory Mane shook his head, "It's just that the map is kind of... not a map right now?" Jingle rolled his eyes,

"Well, I wouldn't be able to _see_ if I didn't make the map into a wearable form! And I couldn't talk if the map were just on my face all willy-nilly, now could I?" Ivory Mane groaned again, Rides With Sunset whispering to the air,

"Great Sky Mother, kill me now..." Then he decided to just jump into the fray, "The map is upside-down!"

But the young Emperor giggled, shaking his head, "Oh, you simple Trickster... I'll share something with you: this world of ours is _round_! There is no up or down!" Rides With Sunset fell over in the snow, Ivory Mane not even knowing what to say.

"Will these noble creatures be able to find a new home?" Naruto asked the audience back in real-time, "Or will Eris's icy-reign devour them all? Find out after our intermission and enjoy some refreshments and dinner while we prepare for the second act!"

"Wait, what?" Watergate whipped his head around, watching everyone file out of the room and move to the wine-room or dining hall. "What about Shark-Skin the Fierce? Or Empress Goldenlock? I need to know!" He gulped, looking around to see others watching him. The water-demon cleared his throat, "I need to know... so I can make my report to the ASC office. Yes, right..."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**Each of the kingdoms is reflective of certain time-periods and groups: the water-demons are Spartans, the air-demons are Mayans, the Mystics are French Renaissance, and the earth-demons are Feudal Japanese.**


	29. Unity Day Part 2

After the audience members had wined and dined and found their seats once more, the curtain reopened, Naruto beginning anew, "And so each of the leaders encountered many obstacles on their journey. But, eventually, they happened upon a small pocket of land that _wasn't _encased by ice and snow. The sun shined bright, and birds sang as they flew through the air. It was paradise..."

* * *

><p>Shark-Fang and Shark-Skin rode their seahorses into a warm ocean-side: tropical waves rolling into warm, sandy shore. The flora wasn't bad either. "It's beautiful..." Shark-Skin gasped, sharing a glance with his older brother before they both jumped from their mounts and into the water, each coming up with a fat salmon in mouth.<p>

"My brother!" Shark-Fang whooped, ripping into his salmon, "_This_ is the land we have been hunting for!" Shark-Skin nodded,

"Such opportunities for architecture too."

"Then it is settled!" The cobalt-haired ruler reached into his satchel and unwound the water-demon flag: fixing it to a mass of coral, "I dub this land... Oceania!"

* * *

><p>"Such a warm breeze!" Goldenlock sighed as they had flown to an area with tropical, peaceful currents. The blonde Empress dismounted fro his dragon's back and shifted into the form of a bird-of-paradise and let the winds carry him.<p>

Lullen followed him on Azure's back, the three of them circling around the welcoming mountain range. "It's so peaceful." Lullen commented, Azure giving a content growl. Goldenlock searched his feathers for the air-demon flag, crowing happily, "This is the new air-demon capital of Golden Wind!"

* * *

><p>RedSpire's eyes were glimmering from the mass of gems he had gotten Bushy-Tailed and Vladimir to dig up once he had smelled the rich deposits in this new land, "Such <em>dazzling<em> gems!" He looked around at the shimmering valley they were in, "This whole _land_ is dazzling! Oh, be still my dazzled heart!" He snuggled into his gem pile before using his magic to unravel the Mystic flag, "In the name of the Mystic Kingdom, I shall bestow upon this land the name of... Glimmer Valley!"

* * *

><p>"The air..." Jingle bounced up, taking a deep whiff, "The trees..." He landed in the branch of a fruit tree, grabbing a fruit and taking a big bite before he jumped down and landed into a soil patch, "The dirt! Why, this is the dirtiest dirt that I've ever seen!"<p>

"And its fertile too!" Rides With Sunset observed the flourishing plant-life, Ivory Mane adding,

"This would be the perfect place to grow food!" Jingle nodded before standing tall,

"In the name of the earth-demons, I think I'll call this place... Dirt Town!" Rides With Sunset's smile quickly faded, the cat-demon offering,

"How about Terra?" Jingle mulled this over for a bit before chiming,

"Terra!" He giggled as he unraveled his kingdom's flag, "I'm so clever for thinking of it!"

* * *

><p>"We have founded a new home!" All four leaders announced...<p>

* * *

><p>Frowning as they realized they were all in earshot of each other. "Oh no, no, no, no!" Shark-Fang shook his head, drawing his sword and dredging himself up from the sea, "This area is now water-demon territory; leave or be executed on sight!"<p>

"I do believe that _I _got here first..." Goldenlock sighed, RedSpire snapping,

"T'is a bunch of fallacies! I planted my flag first!"

Jingle the Jolly-hearted could only giggle, "I got here _earlier_ than first!" Goldenlock shook his head, fretting and frowning,

"All this hot air is ruining the lux of Golden Wind!"

"You lesser riff-raff," RedSpire turned up his nose, "Are trespassing in Glimmer Valley!" Shark-Fang wasn't having it,

"This land is named Oceania!"

"Terra!" Jingle insisted. The shark-demon stormed over to RedSpire, growling,

"Me and my brother got here first, we laid rightful claim to this land!"

Rolling his eyes, the mystic frowned, "I alloweth you to see all the fucks that I giveth." He blinked, turning to Bushy-Tailed, "This 'sarcasm' thing doth actually work..." He gulped when a heavy sword was pressed to his throat, Shark-Fang not one to be ignored,

"So, you would be willing to fight me for my own land?" The young king adamantly snapped, not noticing the chilly winds blowing in,

"How barbaric! Vladimir!" He used his magic to bring the Baba Yaga over, "Throw this fiend into the dungeon!"

"What dungeon?" He asked, "We have been here _five_ minutes!"

"Everyone, lend me your ears..." Bushy-Tailed tried to get everyone's attention, "Perhaps if we all just calmest down..."

Ivory Mane nodded, "I agree."

"Same here." Lullen spoke up, Shark-Skin nodding,

"I vote for calm."

"BROTHER!" Shark-Fang roared, Shark-Skin shivering from a combination of his brother's fury and the oncoming icy winds, "You would betray me?"

"No, No!" Shark-Skin fervently shook his head, Shark-Fang gritting his teeth,

"We settle this on the field of battle! Draw your weapons and – AH!" At that moment, the water-demon had been pelted by a freshly packed snow-ball. Goldenlock couldn't help but laugh, RedSpire chuckling as well... Before the both of them were hit by snowballs as well.

In a quick attempt to save face, RedSpire demanded, "Who dares to throw a snowball at my royal face?"

Jingle, the culprit, sat on a snowbank with a pile of snowballs next to him. But finally something clicked in his mind, "Hey... where did all this icky snow come from?"

Storm clouds began rolling in, brought by an icy, shadowy figure. But all the creatures in the center of it all only saw the blizzards coming in.

* * *

><p>"And so the paradise that the demons had found was lost." Naruto walked across the stage, "Obscured under a deep blanket of snow <em>and<em> harsh feelings. Instead of beautiful, it was bleak! Instead of wonderful, it was woeful! Instead of splendid, it was sorrowful! Instead of-"

"We get it already!" Watergate yelled, anxious to hear the end of the story, "Move on!" Naruto gave a small pout before sighing,

"They were all forced to take shelter in a small cave: cold and desolate to try and wait things out."

* * *

><p>"<em>And of course..."<em> Naruto's voice echoed over the scene of Shark-Fang trying to keep the other groups out of the cavern, eventually being forced out of the way by RedSpire's magic, _"No one wanted to share..."_

The four groups stood, uneasy about each other's presence in the cave. After a moment, RedSpire glared at Shark-Fang, "Excuse me, Shark-Bait-"

"My _name_ is Shark-Fang!" The shark-demon growled, RedSpire nodding,

"Yes, quite... Anyway, wouldst thou be so kind as to back up? You are invading my personal space."

Shark-Fang couldn't help but chuckle, "Oh, my apologies... Here!" He abruptly stomped his foot forward onto RedSpire's, the redhead yowling out his pain,

"Incorrigible swine!"

"Shark-Skin!" Shark-Fang called out, "Erect a boundary-line to keep the weak-blooded out of our way!" The younger shark-demon sighed before digging the tip of his sword into the dirt and making a line. "Cross at your own peril, for this is the sovereign territory of Oceania!"

The other leaders, not to let themselves be out-shined, called out for their own lackeys, Redspire huffing, "Bushy-Tailed the Bright, Vladimir." Goldenlock cooing,

"Lullen, Azure~" And Jingle finally calling out,

"Ivory Mane! Rides With Sunset!"

"We hear you already..." The Trickster Spirit sighed as they all got to work. Amongst all of the boundary-making, the assistants kept bumping into each other due to the small space. "Hey!" Rides With Sunset flinched as he bumped into Vladimir who offered,

"My apologies..."

Bushy-Tailed the Bright found his back up against that of Shark-Skin, the two separating with a a blush and a cough. The white-haired shark-demon came to a rock in the floor, originally planning to draw around it. "The Hell are you doing?" Shark-Fang stomped over, "Don't surrender the rock, go over it! We can't surrender a single _inch_ of Oceania!"

"That rock is _clearly_ on the Golden Wind side of this cave!" Goldenlock walked over, RedSpire insisting that it was his. Before they could get any closer, Shark-Fang had dug the rock out of the ground and was carrying it onto his side,

"I conquer this rock in the name of the water-demons!"

RedSpire gasped, not believing that the other would have actually carried the rock away, "Unhand my rock, you scoundrel!"

Jingle bounced over, smiling to Shark-Fang, "Oh lookie, you found my rock!" He then picked it up and ran to the Terra side of the cave and when the other leaders began to protest, he simply smiled, "Finders keepers, losers weepers!"

"That _tears_ it!" Shark-Fang growled, drawing his sword and charging after Jingle. The earth-demon yelped, running away before the sword could land. The cobalt-haired male swung, his blade tearing into RedSpire's clothing.

"My cape!" He screamed, eyes going red as he used his magic to fling Shark-Fang into Goldenlock: the air-demon Empress flying over and, in bird-form, scratching both RedSpire and Jingle's faces with his talons.

The others in the room could only watch as the fighting grew fiercer, eyes going wide as they noticed the icy winds that had started blowing in the cave. There was also a thick wall of ice creeping over the walls, Bushy-Tailed crying out, "The entrance! Please, look at the cave entrance!"

But it was too late. The only way in _or_ out of the cave had been frozen over. "_Now_ look what you've done!" Shark-Fang roared at the others, "This place is going to be a tomb for _all_ of us thanks to _you!_"

"_You_ three deserve this awful, _awful_ fate!" Goldenlock crowed, trying to be heard over the winds, "You've done nothing but _argue_ since we got here!"

"Like thou art innocent!" RedSpire fumed, Jingle agreeing,

"Yeah, you three and your people are the worst things to happen to this world!" As they were still arguing, none of the leaders noticed the thick, black ice creeping up their bodies.

"Emperor!" Ivory Mane and Rides With Sunset shouted, rushing over to try and chip away the consuming ice. Bushy-Tailed and Vladimir saw RedSpire being covered as well, still running his mouth with spiteful words.

"...Says an earth-demon!" The redhead scoffed, "Mystics have no need for fighting."

Azure tried breathing fire on the ice that was encasing his fuming master, but the ice grew on. And even as Shark-Skin tried to bring the ice to his brother's attention, he paid no mind. It was almost as if the four were locked into their hatred of each other. "...Only because you effeminate mystics _know_ you would lose!" Shark-Fang growled back. The ice was just about to cover his face, the water-demon ruler roaring out, "Earth-demons and Mystics are weak, effeminate swine!"

RedSpire rolled his eyes, the black ice encasing him, "Water-demons and earth-demons are filthy _brutes_!" Goldenlock crowed out his final words,

"Mystics and water-demons have _no_ sense of courtesy!" And finally, Jingle pouted out his final words,

"Air-demons and Mystics are pretentious _snobs_!"

And then, for once, silence.

The four _powerful_ leaders stood, frozen black in their furious states: words of abhoration still fresh on their lips and eyes filled with rage. But the ice from the walls crept on towards those still living.

"WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?" Rides With Sunset screamed, whipping his head left to right trying to find a way out. After a second, Vladimir offered,

"Please to calm yourself, your panic is not helping us." But all the calm in the world couldn't stop the fear that filled them all.

That calm was shattered when a cold, haggard scream filled the icy cavern. "What was that?" Lullen asked, everyone looking around until they looked up. In the airspace of the cavern, standing upon the thick, heavy storm-clouds stood a figure.

She was large in stature, covered in ice, her dress frayed from the vicious blizzards around her. Her icy eyes glared at those still living before she went back to work, thick hair whipping in the wind. "What is that _thing_?" Shark-Skin asked, fear causing his voice to tremble.

Azure only growled at the invader, Vladimir and Bushy-Tailed thinking for a moment before the Baba Yaga recalled, "It can only be... the WinterScorn."

"The _WinterScorn_?" The others asked, Bushy-Tailed nodding,

"The Kanga-Mage gave a discussion on her once, I recall. She's a foul winter-spirit that feeds off of the fighting and spiteful emotions of the living. The more hate the WinterScorn devours, the colder it becomes!"

The WinterScorn screeched, sending more icy gales towards the cavern's inhabitants. "So, what you're saying is..." Ivory Mane gave a sad shake of his head, "That this is all _our_ fault."

"We four kingdoms," Shark-Skin picked off the tears that had frozen on his cheeks, "We brought this upon ourselves and now we're cursing a new place with it!"

Azure gave a sad growl, Lullen sighing, "All because we just wouldn't _trust_ each other..."

"And now..." Bushy-Tailed moved his tail to avoid some on coming ice, "We're doomed to become the same as our hearts and souls: icy, cold, hard, just because we were fools enough to be overtaken by hate..."

The oncoming ice herded the living bodies closer together, all of them shivering and awaiting their fate. However, Shark-Skin saw Bushy-Tailed shivering more than the rest: his clothes the thinnest due to RedSpire's selfishness. The shark-demon removed his armor and the coat under it, "Well..." He began. wrapping it around the squirrel-demon, "I don't hate you. Or _any_ of you for that matter." That same blush from before took over Bushy-Tailed's face as he smiled,

"Neither I you. Or any of you."

The WinterScorn's eyes shined, black ice beginning to form around the bodies of the living.

"I actually find your company refreshing." Lullen commented, Azure happily growling and Rides With Sunset agreeing,

"At the end of the day we're all the same: the same beating hearts, the same, spirit, the same blood. Hell, we all worship Amaterasu and Tsukuyomi, so what's the difference?" He blinked when a heavy hand patted him on the head, Vladimir chuckling,

"I could not have been saying it better myself."

All of a sudden, the WinterScorn let out an ear-piercing shriek of pain. To rid herself of what was causing her discomfort, she let forth another whirlwind: the ice growing that much faster. But those below hardly noticed.

"No matter what," Ivory Mane gently spoke, everyone gathering close to get the final bit of warmth before they were surrounded, "We're all Amaterasu's children... And that's all that matters..." Finally, the ice engulfed them all.

The cavern was silent except for the whipping winds; all live had been ceased.

But then, in an explosion of color, four flames broke through the black ice and warped around the room before coming together and forming into one massive fire.

It was a _brilliant_ flame: it burned all sorts of hues ranging from blue, red, gold, and orange, sparks of lightning sparking through the fire. Once the group had realized that they were no longer frozen, they looked at the flames swirling around them.

A soul-piercing shriek echoed through the air, grabbing everyone's attentions. They saw the WinterScorn being scorched and burned away by the multi-hued flames. Finally, the foul spirit was reduced to nothing more than ashes that drifted off on the breeze. The flames then left the creatures in the cavern in favor of forming a circle on the floor: divided in four equal parts of color. When the commotion had ceased, the group walked over to the flames: sitting around the source of warmth.

"What was that?" Lullen asked, still a bit fearful. Bushy-Tailed shook his head,

"I don't know. None of my studies have spoken of this and I've never performed such powerful magics. But there is one thing I observed..." When everyone was listening, he continued, "It definitely wasn't just us Mystics. T'was all of us combined that made that happen."

Shark-Skin nodded, "United we stand..."

"Divided we fall!" Rides With Sunset added, the group coming together in agreement.

* * *

><p>"<em>All throughout the night,"<em> Naruto narrated, _"The new friends kept the new flame alive by telling stories..."_

"..And by the time we came back," Rides With Sunset was recalling a certain story from his childhood, "The horses were all the way across the field eating the berries we had gathered!" The others laughed wholeheartedly at that.

* * *

><p>"<em>Playing games, and by singing songs... One of which became the anthem that all of those in our land proudly sing today... Eventually, the warmth of the fire and amicable nature had reached the leaders..."<em>

A few hours later, the ice around Shark-Fang shattered: the shark-demon collapsing to the floor. The other leaders soon followed, ice melting and shattering: freeing them from their cold prisons.

* * *

><p>"<em>Even their hearts began to thaw from their icy state..."<em>

The small festivities continued on, leaders and commoner coming together to sing and talk... Shark-Fang was still the odd-one out. A warrior through and through, he had never had to be _friendly_ to anyone besides his brother.

Speaking of his brother, he looked over and saw Shark-Skin conversing with Bushy-Tailed by the fire. Sitting _quite_ close to the young mystic now that he got a closer look. "Hmph..." He hummed, laying on his back, "I give you my blessing brother."

* * *

><p>After a few days with the warmth of the flame keeping them safe and satisfied, the icy wall blocking the entrance finally crumbled away: all of the creatures walking out into the bright, sunny new day.<p>

"_On that day, Shark-Fang the Fierce, RedSpire the Fair and his new bride to be Goldenlock, and Jingle the Jolly-hearted all wrote up a doctrine stating that this world was free for all creatures to live and be free, no matter what their birthright. _

_They would stand United against the oncoming fight against Eris... And forever afterwards. With a new flag in tow,"_ Goldenlock showed off the flag he and Lullen had just design: the four flames of Unity spiraling around each other, _"They dubbed their new home..."_

* * *

><p>"Terram!" Kisame (now back to one person), Itachi, Sasori, Deidara, Zetsu, Tobi, Sasuke, Ivan, and Alfred announced, the audience standing up and applauding the beautiful performance. Especially Watergate, the water-demon official whistling and cheering,<p>

"Whoo! Encore! Bravo, bravo!" Before anyone could sit back down, Naruto walked over to the actors and announced,

"If you could all rise so we could sing the Terram Anthem." The Kitsune then nodded to the vampiric quartet (who seemed to be getting a _lot_ of business lately) who started a slow, formal rhythm. In the tradition of the Anthem, children would always sing first. So young voices could be heard,

"_La la la la la... _

_La la la la la..._

_La la la la la..._

_La la la la... _

_La la_

_La la, _

_La la la la, _

_La la la la, _

_La la la la la, _

_La la... _

_La la..."_ Then the adults with softer voices would begin,

"_Take a melody... _

_Simple as can be..." _

"_Give it some words and_

_Sweet harmony..."_ Those with the baritone voices would add in,

"_Raise your voices..." _

"_All day long now, _

_Love grows strong now..." _

"_Sing a melody of love... _

_Oh love..."_

The audience joined en mass, demons from different walks of life coming together to celebrate the unity that they all shared deep down inside,

"_La la la la la... _

_La la la la la..._

_La la la la la..._

_La la la la... _

_La la_

_La la, _

_La la la la, _

_La la la la, _

_La la la la la, _

_La la... _

La la..."

"_Take a melody... _

_Simple as can be... _

_Give it some words and_

_Sweet harmony... _

_All day long now, _

_Love grows strong now..." _

_Sing a melody of love... _

_Oh love..."_

After that verse being sung two more times, the rhythm changed a bit. At that moment, Sanbi No Same and Rokubi No Raijuu walked on stage: the weasel-deity vocalizing to interlude the way into the next part of the song. Rokubi truly did have a beautiful voice: it was no wonder that scholars from all over Terram came to his lectures and forums. When he was done, Sanbi belted out

"_Love is the power... _

_Love is the glory... _

_Love is the beauty _

_And the joy of Spring..."_ The audience sang back,

"_Love is the bounty... _

_Love is the story..._

_Love is the power _

_You and I can bring..."_ **( 1 )**

The beautiful words that Terram was Unified under rose up into the air, echoing into the snowy evening and carrying over the air.

* * *

><p>"CHEERS!" The group all cheered, clinking glasses of champagne together at the Pageant after-party. After taking a sip, Itachi spoke up,<p>

"We should be so honored! The audience is saying that this was the best Unity Day Pageant in ages!"

"Well of course it was!" Hidan laughed, patting a still-grumpy Kakuzu's shoulder, "We're friends in real life, so of course it'll show up on stage!" The others agreed, still talking amongst themselves...

And then a swift gale of cold wind blew through the room. "My suit!" Sasori groaned at all the snow getting on his evening clothes, "Ivan! Enough with the snow!"

"Please to stop blaming me," The cream-haired male rolled his eyes, "If anything, Deidara or Alfred could go close the windows."

"What?" Deidara whined, Alfred huffing,

"Why do _I_ always have to do the high-up chores? Itachi has magic doesn't he?" That triggered a brand new series of arguments amongst the group.

However, a ghastly, cold shriek shook all of them to the core. "You know what?" Alfred chuckled, "I got it."

"I'll help." Kisame offered.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**( 1 ) The song used here is titled 'Eight Melodies' and its from the Mother franchise of games. **

**Well, the update she is fini! I hope people liked, if you could leave a review at the bottom of this here page that would be great... Thanks for reading! **

**-Tyranno's girl.**


	30. A Day With the Hokus

**A/N: Hey. **

**So, I'm still alive. **

**Been hella busy with school and original work. But I decided to put some time aside to update this fic. Reviews help me with better time-management peoples, sorry it's taken me so long. This is a side chapter but this update is a multiple one so three chaps instead of one.**

**Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer - Meh.**

* * *

><p><em>A Day With the Hokus<em>

5 AM. Amaterasu's sun had yet to embrace the skies of Terram, but at GoldLeaf Farms, life was about to spring up and about.

Or rather, Hidan _would_ get up and begin his daily schedule if he could get out of the near death-grip that Kakuzu had on him. The cat-demon looked at the alarm clock on the nightstand and saw that it was now ten after five.

"Kuzu, come on..." The albino nudged the stitch-demon's chest, "I need to get up. You can sleep for your twenty more minutes but then you have to wake up too, so let go!" Finally, Kakuzu groaned but rolled over anyway: grabbing some of the sheets to cover his bare chest.

Free at last, Hidan got up and stretched out his arms and legs in a pose that could only be described as feline before he jumped into the shower for a quick scrub-down. After that, he got dressed and hurried downstairs: a bit behind schedule.

* * *

><p>"Let's see..." Hidan whispered to himself, looking at the large dining table he had set, "23 plates, 23 cups, sausage, bacon for Kira-chan, orange juice, lemon-tea for Ginger, cranberry for Peachy, omelets, pancakes, oatmeal for Kakuzu and Dim Sum, apple dumplings for Obaa-san..." There were at least 8 other foods but Hidan listed those off in his head before nodding and going to wash the cooking dishes.<p>

"Morning." Kakuzu grunted out as he walked into the kitchen, finally dressed to meet the day. The stitch-demon kissed the albino on the cheek before taking his seat near the head of the table: the head-seat being reserved for Obaa-san.

The brunette took a sip of orange juice before he began digging into his oatmeal: adding sugar to it occaisionally. Next came the two oldest children: Ginger and Dim Sum coming in from ther respective rooms. They greeted their parents before sitting at the table.

Another thirty minutes found more of the Hoku family children at the table: Peachy greeting everyone with a loud, "Good morning~!"

"Thank you for bursting our ear-drums." Ginger frowned, but Peachy retorted with a huffy,

"You're just jealous because people are over-joyed by my presence and _beautiful_ face!"

"Speaking of which," Kakuzu spoke up, downing the rest of his morning coffee as he reached underneath the table and brought out a box of presents and packages, "Your paramours around town need to learn how to take a hint."

With a blush and a nervous chuckle, Peachy took the box, her sister Ivory gently offering, "She's just having fun. And it's not like she ever plans on leading any of those guys on."

"That's right," Hidan nodded, handing the two white-haired cat-demonesses a bowl of strawberries, "And why's that?" At that, all of the Shiroi-Hoku children stated, in unison,

"Because our main goal is to get a good and proper education, eventually finding a good career. Afterwards, we'll get married and settle down with a nice demon of our choice."

"Good to see that you all are still listening to your parents." Kakuzu placed his dishes in the sink, pecking Hidan on the cheek before he called out, "Dim Sum, Oleander. Finish your breakfasts, we have to get started in the fields today before you head to classes."

Both younger stitch-demons nodded before scarfing down the rest of their food and, after thanking their mother, grabbed their work-gloves from the drawer and followed Kakuzu out. When they were gone, Hidan then announced, "Alright, finish up you guys. Some of you guys need to get to school and others need to start their chores." After that, he walked over to where little Kira was nibbling on some strawberry-jam covered toast. "Sweetie, when you're done I need you to go wake up Obaa-san."

The small cat-demon nodded, cheek sticky with jam.

* * *

><p>"Obaa-san..." Kira whispered as she slowly opened the door of her great-grandmother's room, not wanting to abruptly wake the old demoness up. Her ruby eyes were wide, helping her make her way into the dark room until she got to the bed and whispered, "Obaa-san, it's morning-time." She then gave the old stitch-demoness a soft tap on her leg.<p>

"Mrm..." Was her response before the old body slowly roused from sleep, "Mornings come earlier and earlier, don't they..?" Her greying hair was a bit of a mess, but she was more focused on remdying her eye-sight, "Fetch Obaa-san her glasses dear."

Kira nodded, carefully taking the spectacles from the dresser and handing them over. "That's better. Now," She smiled, the wrinkles in her stitched face crinkling as she patted the space on the bed next to her, "Your pig-tails have gotten messy. Let's see here..."

As she sat there, her great-grandmother fixing her hair, Kira couldn't help but smile. This was her favorite part of the mornings here at Goldleaf Farms.

* * *

><p>While some of the children were at school, those who had later classes stayed to work: Hidan and his older daughters working in the vegetable patches, Kakuzu and his eldest sons working with the cattle and in the fields.<p>

Around noon though, Hidan walked over to the cattle's grazing field with box-lunches in hand, "Go on, you have to catch the train to get to your classes on time. I've already sent off your sisters."

"Thanks mom." They offered before rushing off to catch their train.

* * *

><p>The afternoons were mostly composed of working moving the cattle and tending to the animals in the barn. This was the time that Kakuzu would usually be found at the Adamant Falls open market selling the fresh wares of the day.<p>

But, sooner than later, Amaterasu's sun would begin to set over the horizon, Hidan calling everyone in for dinner. The table would be filled with ten different conversations at once, the triplets talking amongst themselves, Peachy bragging about the swarms of guys who were following her, and Obaa-san telling them all that they should eat first and talk later.

Kakuzu found himself, between sips of his beer, just _looking_ at his family. With his origins, you really wouldn't have thought this is where he would be at this point in life. But, in all honesty, he wouldn't trade the loud side-conversations and the agitated hiss he got when placing a playful hand on Hidan's thigh for all of the money in the world.


	31. The Heaven Fruit Harvest Part 1

The dark, cool velvet of night had draped over Goldleaf Farms. Everyone of the farm's residents were fast asleep, from animal to small child...

Until a lone, sad howl broke through the peace.

Then, as if on cue, the raucous noise of frying pans clanging against each other echoed through the air. "What the..?" Hidan frowned as the noise woke him up. The cat-demon nudged his way out of Kakuzu's arms, waking him in the process, and walked over to the window.

The two adults weren't the only ones, though. Pretty soon, all of their children were up: looking out their bedroom windows to see what all the commotion was about. And then they saw it.

Obaa-san was holding onto Aya's back for sheer life: the white panther saddled up as she was ridden by the old stitch-demoness who was clanging frying pans together as she yelled, "The Eclipse Wolf is a-howling! The Eclipse Wolf is a-howling!"

Everyone in the house listened quietly. Sure enough, another lonely howl echoed forth. Dim Sum nodded, "Mm." But Obaa-san wasn't done. When Aya did another lap around the house, she announced,

"Heaven Fruit is coming in! I say - Heaven Fruit is coming in!" That bit of news brightened everyone's spirits as they cheered,

"Yes! Heaven Fruit Season is here!"

"That's what I said, isn't it?" Obaa-san rolled her eyes, her family laughiing and smiling at her antics.

* * *

><p>"Alright," Obaa-san creaked out from the porch, "All of you get a move on! No time to be lazy!" The Shiroi-Hoku family members were busy at work in a field of old, gnarled, dead trees. Kakuzu and Dim Sum helped carry carts full of empty fruit baskets in while Hidan and a few others placed three baskets around each tree: the other children trimming the area for weeds and crabgrass.<p>

Inside, Kira watched her family work through the window before walking outside and announcing, "I'm ready Obaa-san!" Obaa-san slowly walked inside, sitting on her favorite rocking-chair. She rocked a few times in silence before finally asking,

"Ready for what now?"

"Ready to help you make Heaven Jelly?" Kira tilted her head in confusion, "You said that this year was my year to help you, remember?"

Obaa-san nodded, "Darn straight! Time to show that Heaven Fruit who's boss!" Kira was so excited. She clapped her hands together, rushing to her great-grandmother's side,

"Right! I'm ready, let's get to work. What should I get started on?"

Obaa-san rocked in her chair a few times in silence before asking, "Started on what now?"

Kira's smile dropped down a degree as she reminded the old stitch-demoness, "The Heaven Jelly."

"Right you are snow-pea," Obaa-san grabbed her cane and began to shuffle towards the kitchen, "Now, I've been doing this half-past forever since _I_ was a young and pretty little thing." Kira followed the still talking demoness, "There are quite a few steps in this process and every one has to be done just right or BOOM! No Heaven Jelly."

Kira gulped , a bit uneasy now. "Here." She blinked as Obaa-san handed her an old rag, "Take this."

"Oh!" Kira took it, looking at it in awe, "Is this one of your secret tools for making the Heaven Jelly?"

"That's a wash-rag snow-pea." Obaa-san patted her head, "Now get to wiping down these counters while I... Erm..." She thought for a moment, shuffling off, "Do something or other."

"Hai Obaa-san." Kira smiled, grabbing a stool and climbing up it so she could get to work.

* * *

><p>Outside, Kakuzu and Hidan had just finished making sure the baskets were all placed when the skies above dimmed. Looking up, pure white clouds had rolled in: breaking only for beams of golden light that shined down on the dead trees.<p>

Then, the once lifeless trees filled with life: their trunks and branches filling out and golden leaves flowing in the cool breeze. "There are the Heaven Fruit Leaves!" Hidan called out over the wind, Kakuzu nodding,

"Right on schedule."

* * *

><p>Later that morning, however, the farm would have three <em>surprising<em> visitors in the form of the snake-demon Orochimaru and his twins Sakon and Ukon: the small demons not looking too happy to be on the farm.

"I want ice cream!" Sakon whined, Ukon adding,

"I want candy!"

"In a moment!" Orochimaru hissed, angrily muttering, "Your mother spoils you two, I swear!" They walked over to the barn, Orochimaru looking for a certain stitch-demoness and blinking when he saw Obaa-san dressed in a polka-dotted, full-body swimming outfit doing the Charleston around a car of watering cans with Kira dressed in a simple pink, ruffly bikini: the sprinklers going on around them as the older demoness sang,

"_Country road... _

_Take me home... _

_To the place... _

_Where I belong~!"_

Orochimaru watched them for a while, used to this sight, but Sakon and Ukon took one glance and burst into taunting laughter. The laughter caught the two demonesses attentions, Kira stopping her dancing and Obaa-san calling over, "Why hello there Orochimaru!"

"And a good morning to you too Goldie." The snake-demon replied, being one of the only demons in town to call Obaa-san by her name, "Is it true that there's a Heaven Fruit harvest coming in a few days?"

Obaa-san nodded, "Four to be exact."

"Wonderful news!" Orochimaru chuckled, "And, as always, I get the first hundred jars?"

"That's the deal." Obaa-san shuffled over and shook the other's hand, "As it's always been... _Orochi_..." The snake-demon frowned,

"Please... I'm a grown demon now, no one calls me 'Orochi' anymore..." The two older demons walked off to discuss the Heaven Fruit orchard, leaving Kira in the company of the two demons that had nothing but bad thoughts towards her. And here she was without Ongakuhana or any of the other Chakra-Mark Musketeers to defend her.

"You poor, _poor_ thing." Ukon frowned as he and his brother began to circle the small cat-demon like vultures.

"Having to make _all_ of that Heaven Jelly with Obaa-san?" Sakon smirked, "_So_ boring. Why don't you guys just hire someone to do it? Our Daddy would."

But Kira shook her head, "I've actually been looking forward to this day for the past two years! Last time it was Kiro and Kire's turn and now I get to do it!"

Sakon frowned, "We're not talking about the Heaven Jelly. We're talking about _Obaa-san_. Sheesh."

Kira was... unsure, but still confused, "What do you mean?"

"Her _crazy_ ways..." Ukon huffed.

"Her _stupid_ old stories..." Sakon added, "So embarrassing. If she was in _our_ family, Mom would have put her in an old-peoples' home already..."

"Don't forget about those ugly get-ups she's always putting you in." Ukon continued, Kira biting her lip as she tried to explain,

"Obaa-san says that the water needs-"

"Thank _goodness_ you're out here on this lame farm where no one can see you!" The twins smirked, Kira immediately feeling a sinking feeling in her tummy. "Don't worry," Sakon offered, "Your terrible secret is safe with us." The twins rushed off, leaving Kira to wonder,

"Crazy ways..?" She looked over, seeing Obaa-san holding out a cast-iron pot, Orochimaru pouring honey and feathers into it before the stitch-demoness dipped a pair of heels into it.

"Thank you Orochi!" She laughed, the snake-demon shaking his head as he walked off with the twins.

* * *

><p>Later that day, Kira was following Obaa-san as they walked into the Adamant Falls open market: the both of them dressed up like Southern Belles, parasols included as they pushed a grocery-laden cart across the market-ground. "Come along snow-pea," Obaa-san wheezed, "We have a lot of things to gather before the harvest begins."<p>

When they got to a certain point of the road, the old stitch-demoness began crooning, _"Camp-down ladies, sing this song! Doo-dah~! Doo-dah~!"_ Kira could only bite her lip as she noted that the town Time-lord, his companion, and a few other creatures were looking at them with worry.

Obaa-san didn't notice it at all, continuing her shuffling until she came upon a stand selling pots. "See anything you like?" The merchant, a steel-demoness by the name of TenTen, asked, "I decided to take a break from selling weapons, so I hope this'll work out."

"Hm..." Obaa-san inspected the photo, mumuring, "They sure don't make them like they used to." She took one of the pots and banged it against the table; TenTen watching in horror as she went before tossing it back and going on her way.

"Oh Obaa-san..." Kira sighed, rushing over to catch up with the older demoness, gasping when she saw Obaa-san surrounded by a cloud of red wasps. "Obaa-san, no!" But she didn't seem to mind the threat, sitting down and conversing,

"Why, you've all been busy little bees haven't you? Buzzy, Beatrice, Betty..." As she recited lists of names, she carefully poured the thick, scarlet honey of the wasps' hives into a clean glass jar.

"Obaa-san, please..." Kira blushed, keeping a careful eye about, "Isn't there another way to get the honey?" She abruptly flinched when she saw Sakon and Ukon across the way.

"Oh, looky here..." Obaa-san laughed, bringing Kira forth for all to see, "You just look so precious in your dress. The lighting over here dances across your umbrella just right!"

Kira could only whine, especially when Sakon and Ukon's snickers. "Obaa-san~! Those boys over there are laughing at us, _please_ stop!"

"Is that Sakon and Ukon?" The stitch-demoness asked, waving over, "Hello boys! Are you two of snow-pea's little school friends?" The two conniving boys smirked and waved back, Ukon sneering,

"_Hi_ Obaa-san... Hi _snow-pea..._" The blush on Kira's face was brighter than any tomato. To her mercy, the two boys walked off soon after: laughing all the while.

"What little dears," Obaa-san chuckled, "When _I_ was little, boys were always so scruffy and filthy... But come along snow-pea," She began the slow shuffle back home, "We've got Jelly to make! _Oh, the doo-dah day~!_"

Kira shook her head, wishing that she knew how to make herself disappear.

* * *

><p>The next morning at the Adamant Falls Primary Academy, it was the first-grade class's Family Appreciation Day once again. This time around, Orochimaru was busy talking up a storm about his theater troupe. "..We truly <em>are<em> Terram's finest performers. I myself at the forefront of that. Lifestyles of the rich and famous, children, _that_ is what's worth striving for in this world..."

However, _most_ of the children were either asleep or occupying their attentions with something _far_ more fufilling. In fact, only Sakon and Ukon were really paying attention to their father's ramblings. Finally, however, Iruka stood and (wiping sleep from his eyes) stated, "Why thank you _so_ much for your presentation Orochi..."

The snake-demon gave the dolphin-demon a pointed frown, Iruka quickly adding, "Maru." Orochimaru nodded his satisfaction before taking his leave. "Now..." Iruka hummed as he skimmed through a pile of paperwork, "Who is next up for Family Appreciation Day..?" He asked himself, reading through different sheets of paper until he finally announced, "Oh, Kira-chan!"

"Huh?" Kira panicked as she felt the gaze of Sakon and Ukon upon her, "But... But next monday's the Heaven Fruit Harvest! Mama and Papa are going to be too busy with the Heaven fruit to come in."

"Oh..." Iruka thought, "Is there anyone _else_ who can come in?"

Kira's heart sank, her white pig-tails hitting her cheeks as she rapidly shook her head 'no'. But Sakon raised his hand, smirking,

"What about _Obaa-san_?"

"Yeah." Ukon added, "She's not working Harvest. _She_ can come!"

"A wonderful idea!" Iruka chimed, "Did you get that Kira-chan? On monday, you will bring in Obaa-san to speak to us. Everyone else, class dismissed!"

"No..." Kira shifted into kitten-form, hiding from teasing eyes inside of her desk.

* * *

><p>The next day, the Shiroi-Hoku family members were busy watering the Heaven Fruit trees with the water that Obaa-san had specially prepared the other day. Hidan handed two of his daughters two watering-cans filled with the sparkling water. However, he gave a sad sigh as he looked to his side and saw Kira looking up at him with pleading eyes.<p>

"Come on Kira," Hidan kneeled down, "You know that if I _could_ come to your school, I _would_. The same thing goes for your Papa. You know why we need as many experienced hands on the farm during this time."

Kira's shoulders slumped, "Hai... After the fifth day, the rest of the Heaven Fruit is sacrificed to the Eclipse Wolf..." A swift wind blew through the area, everyone looking up to the sky and seeing dark clouds roll in. It was broken apart by beams of pure, white light: doves flapping their wings through the air. After that, the Heaven Fruit trees began humming with a bright glow before ivory blossoms grew on each of the branches.

"Wow..." The children all whispered, Obaa-san shouting,

"Keep up the pace, all of you!" As the others went back to work, Kakuzu walked by to explain,

"Sorry Kira. But think of it this way: Obaa-san has nothing but interesting stories to tell."

Kira bit her lip, "That's what I'm afraid of..."

* * *

><p>Later that afternoon, the Chakra-Mark Musketeers were all sitting in the arts and crafts room of the library: Kira pacing the floor, "I'll be embarassed... shamed... mortified... humiliated-" She was stopped when Kire placed a hand over her mouth, Ongakuhana asking,<p>

"What are you, a dictionary?"

"I thought that was _my_ thing, ano sa." Saso frowned before Alexandr spoke up,

"You are going to make things worse with all of this worrying."

"And besides," Mizuki stood to his feet, "We're going to help you."

"We are the Chakra-Mark Musketeers after all!" Hun barked. But Kira could only whine, sitting down,

"I hope so... All this stress is giving me a tummy-ache." Hun gasped, jumping up and hitting his head against a light-bulb.

"I got it!"

* * *

><p>Back at Goldleaf Farms, Obaa-san was in the kitchen looking over a series a glass jars with a military helmet on her head. "Listen up! I don't want any whining or crying from <em>any<em> of you!" She shuffled to the left of the table, "And don't any of ya think about cracking under pressure, ya hear?" She slammed her fist against the table, one of the jars at the end cracking. "Darn it all!" She snapped, tossing the jar into the trash.

Meanwhile, the Chakra-Mark Musketeers had snuck into the farmhouse and quickly got Kira into bed. "What's going on?" She asked, Kire messing up her pig-tails and explaining,

"Calm down, we have to make you look sick remember?" Saso walked over with some green costume- makeup he had taken from home and slathered it over Kira's face. Hun grabbed a thermometer from the bathroom and rubbed it in his hands: his internal heat quickly causing the red in it to rise before he popped it into Kira's mouth.

"Ow!" The small cat-demon whined, "It's hot!"

"Good." Alexandr nodded and, right on cue, Obaa-san opened the door and asked,

"What in the world is going on here?"

"Thank goodness you're here Obaa-san," Kiro cleared his throat, trying to sound as mature as possible, "Kira-chan is sick!"

"Yeah," Ongakuhana agreed, "She might have to stay in bed all week, it looks pretty bad..." The old stitch-demoness shuffled over and took the thermometer, looking at it. She then placed her lips against the child's sweaty forehead to feel for a better temperature.

"Oh, she's fine!" She laughed, "You kids and your silly games..." When she was gone, Kira groaned,

"_Now_ what?"

* * *

><p>Sunset found the children all sitting around the back porch of the farmhouse, looking at the Heaven Fruit trees as Kira fretted, "The day's almost over and tomorrow's Sunday! There's only one more day before Obaa-san will embarrass me in front of everybody at school!"<p>

"Not just _you_," Kire gulped, "What about me and Kiro?" The three triplets were bemoaning their oncoming fate. But then Hun barked out,

"Look!"

Up in the sky, a single golden star had appeared: blinking right above the Heaven Fruit grove. It blinked for a few moments before the trees' blossoms fell apart: revealing small, round, cream-colored fruit.

"That's the next sign!" Kira gasped, eyes wide as Kiro explained,

"The Heaven Fruit are almost done."

"Which gives _me_," Ongakuhana chuckled, "An idea..."

* * *

><p>Later that night, the Chakra-Mark Musketeers snuck into the grove. While they walked, Ongakuhana explaining, "Since Family Appreciation Day isn't going anywhere, we'll just speed up Harvest Day!"<p>

"I don't know..." Kira gulped as she looked up at the fruit, "They don't look _quite_ ready..."

"It is just fruit..." Alexandr huffed, "Come on, everyone into position please."

"No, they're right." Kiro looked around, "Heaven Fruit Trees aren't like normal trees."

Kire nodded, "Yeah... They're, like, magic and stuff." As if to echo his statement, each of the trees was still emanating a strange, golden glow.

"Step aside..." Hun barked as he shifted into his hell-dog form and bounded over to a tree. He picked up his hind-legs and he gave a strong kick to the tree bark. He wasn't expecting, however, for a bolt of energy to come forth from the tree and knock him back ten feet.

"Hun!" Mizuki gasped before frowning, "If we can't _kick_ them down, we'll just pick them down!" Everyone quickly made a small tower, Kira on top, to try and pick the fruit. The small cat-demoness grabbed one of the fruit. Yet, it stuck fast, everyone beginning to pull. But then... something weird happened. One of the tree's branches reached forward and picked up the children before whipping them away into the pig-pen.

Ongakuhana was so shocked that all she could say was, "Well, same to _you_ buddy!"


	32. The Heaven Fruit Harvest Part 2

The next morning, Iruka knocked on the farmhouse door: calling out, "Obaa-san? It's me, Iruka-sensei from the Primary Academy. Kiro said that you wanted to see me?" He looked into the window, a bit unnerved that he couldn't hear anybody. "Hello~?"

He nearly jumped out of his skin when Obaa-san's body fell against the window, her voice saying, "Well, hi there!"

"Oh, um..." Iruka swallowed the lump in his throat, "Hello Obaa-san. Is..." He carefully looked around, "Is everything alright?"

Obaa-san laughed, the _glasses_ on her face wobbling about, "Of course I am! Why _wouldn't_ I be?" In actuality, the old demoness's body was being held up by Kiro and Hun while Ongakuhana did a good job of imitating her voice, "But I needed to tell ya," At that moment, her glasses fell off of her face: revealing that she was actually sleeping. Alexandr quickly placed them back on, Kira readjusting her head as Ongakuhana continued, "I'm feeling a bit under the weather so I won't be able to make it to the presentation tomorrow."

"Oh..." Iruka gave a sad sigh, "Is that so? Well, we'll just have to reschedule. I hope you feel better..."

Oh, Karma wasn't going to let things go this easily. Kiro's hand slipped from his grip, Hun failing to pick up the slack and causing Obaa-san to fall to the floor.

"What's that?" She woke up, drowsy and confused, "Oh, Iruka! How are you this fine morning?"

"Damn it!" Kire groaned, falling against the floor as Obaa-san caught up to Iruka-sensei, "How did she wake up? She _never_ wakes up from her naps!"

"It's all over..." Kira sniffled, "I wish I could just run and hide..." The group stood in sad silence for a moment. But then Mizuki had a thought.

"_You_ can't run and hide... But _someone_ sure can."

* * *

><p>Monday morning.<p>

Kakuzu helped Obaa-san get to the grove, the skies grey and winds whipping through the air. From the darkened sky, a silver thunder-bolt shot down. When it was gone, a shimmering mist blew over the trees.

When it landed on the fruit, they all plumped up and grew an ivory sheen: all of them shining like stars. "Heaven Fruit Season is _officially_ here!" Kakuzu announced, Obaa-san tripping over herself, "Are you alright?"

"Of course I am Kuzu." She nodded, getting herself up, "We just need to get all of these picked so me and Kira-chan can make some Heaven Jelly!"

"Oh, Obaa-san," Kakuzu remembered, "Thanks for going to Kira's presentation today."

The stitch-demoness waved her hand, laughing, "Not a problem in sight. Just hope that Iruka-sensei doesn't mind me taking the kids out after I'm done and – Oops!" She cried as she almost tripped over Kiro who was holding up an envelope. "Oh, Bean-sprout! What ya got there?"

"It's addressed to you Obaa-san." Kiro replied, handing the envelope over. Obaa-san quickly opened it, reading it over and laughing,

"Why, Hidako wants me to visit her in Nyanopolis!"

Before she could even consider, Kire and Kire walked over with a day-bag full of travel-necessities, "And you can still catch the 8:30 train!" Kire smiled, Obaa-san mulling over her options before she decided.

"Well, can't keep the poor girl waitin'! But don't you little ones worry," She laughed as she shuffled off, "I'll be back with more than enough time to make the Heaven Jelly!"

The three Hoku triplets waved the older demoness off and, once she was out of earshot, Kiro smiled, "The train-ride to Nyanopolis takes all day!"

"We're safe!" Kire whooped, all of them slapping their hands together.

That afternoon at the Adamant Falls Primary Academy, school had been altogether nice. But Kira began sweating bullets when it came time for Family Appreciation Day. She knew that Obaa-san would still be in Nyanopolis right now. But that didn't stop her from being nervous.

"Alright then children," Iruka announced, "For today's Family Appreciation Day, let's give a big round of applause for Obaa-san!" He waved an arm towards the doorway...

But no one was there.

"Um..." The dolphin-demon cleared his throat, "Kiro, Kire, Kira-chan? Where is your great-grandmother?" Despite Sakon and Ukon glaring at them, Kira gave a 'sad' sigh,

"Sorry Iruka-sensei, she got called out of town on a family emergency and-"

"Howdy y'all!"

"No..." Kire gasped in horror. Standing there in the doorway with a new straw-hat as big as all outdoors was Obaa-san. Ukon took the opportunity to lean over and hiss into Kira's ear,

"You three are _dead_!"

Obaa-san shuffled to the front of the room and plopped herself down in Iruka's chair as she spoke, "Now, where to begin..."

"Obaa-san~!" Kira rushed over, whispering, "What happened to going to Nyanopolis? Did you miss your train?"

"Nope!" Obaa-san laughed, "I was able to hope over and back with time enough to get this fancy hat! But anyway, where was I? Oh yes." She brought out three rolls of paper from her day-bag, "Back when I was a young lady, things were mighty different than they are today. I wasn't always the docile old bat that you all see here." She unrolled one paper and everyone gasped when they saw a sienna-tone wanted poster that presented a young woman who looked like a younger, blonde Obaa-san: the words 'Goldie Hoku – 500,000 Bounty' could be read underneath.

"I used to be something of a bandit, believe it or not. Led my own group of thieves all across Terram. But that's not the focus of this story. You see, when I was younger, things were quite different here in Adamant Falls. For you see," She unrolled a new roll of paper, revealing an olden map of the area. However, it was missing a key component. "Back then... There _was_ no Adamant Falls..."

* * *

><p>"<em>Hya!" Obaa-san, rather, Goldie Hoku yelled as she led her group of bandits, each on horseback, through the land. <em>

'You see, we were beneficial thieves. We stole from the rich...'

_Goldie seized a bag of gold from a foppish young demon, laughing as she rode off. She pushed her horse onward until she stopped at an orphanage: dropping the bag at the door and rushing off. _

'And gave to the poor. But, after a while, we started to colect more than money from all over. We collected seeds and fruits as well. We all had a passion for gardening and we decided that the moment we found a place that could support all of the different types of fruits and plants we had, we would settle down with whatever money we had and give up our crime-spree.

One day... We found ourselves in, what was then, Konoha. And it was just as big, if not a bit more rustic, than it is now.'

* * *

><p><em>Goldie and her gang rode their horses into the capital city: each of them trying their hardest not to go on a thieving raid.<em>

'But there was no time to think about stealing anything, no matter who could use it. Because there soon came the most regal, powerful, elegant collection of creatures Terram has ever seen or hosted: the Ten Celestials.

Out of them, the wolf-deity Gobi no Hokou looked upon us and beckoned me over. He told me that he could sense our hearts' true intentions, despite our rugged appearances, and that we were seeking a place to settle down.

"_Are you not a Hoku?" Gobi asked, Goldie nodding, _

"_Yes sir, I am. But I would rather go out and help people rather than sit and be waited on hand and foot." The blonde stitch-demoness sighed, hand on her hip, "I wish that we didn't have to resort to thievin', but this here world is tough. 'Specially on the little ones."_

_Gobi gave a solemn nod before looking to the other thieves: some of them even had children with them. And they seemed _so_ weary of traveling..._

"_Hm..." The silver-haired deity thought for a moment, "I think that I have a solution that will work out for everyone."_

* * *

><p>He led us to an area by the coast that had a mountain and waterfall on one side, the Yonko Forests on another, and it all sat by the Adamant Sea.<p>

We quickly got to work: we cleared out enough land to start a small farm and we built ourselves a home. Next, we wasted no time in planting our vast collection of seeds and sowing them into the land. However...'

_The children were all crying to the adult thieves, the lack of food getting to all of them. "I'm hungry!" Goldie's son screamed, Goldie giving him her small loaf of bread. _

'Fruits and vegetables don't grow over-night. So, one night, I had to steel my resolve and journey into the Forests. I had been warned that there were dark magics and fiends inside, but if they were living in there, then there _had_ to be food. And I had a family to feed.'

* * *

><p><em>Goldie, rope in one hand, sword in another, rushed into the forests: trying to ignore the vicious noises and cold howls that she heard. <em>

_The blonde trekked high and low, inspecting strange, new plants as she went. At first, nothing seemed to be on the edible side. But then... _

'My eyes widened near as big as my head when I found myself in the presence of the most _wondrous_ fruit trees. They were beautiful! They were fragrant! They were...'

"_Delicious!" Goldie moaned as she bit into one of the ivory fruit. She took off her shirt, making a simple bag, and began to quickly fill it with as much fruit as she could muster. _

_Right when she was about to squeeze in one final sample, there was a savage growl of, "Cease your actions at once..."_

"_Says who?" Goldie turned, the fruit in her hand dropping as she saw who had made the noise. It was a massive wolf: half of its body a midnight blue and the other half a sparkling, lunar white. It's opaque eyes stared into space but its nose sniffed Goldie out: the beast moving closer, fangs being bared as it growled. _

'That beast... was the Eclipse Wolf. And, mark my words, he's one of the most dangerous creatures the Yonko Forests have to offer, let me tell you.'

"_You're trespassing into _my_ wood, stealing _my_ fruit..." The Eclipse Wolf began to circle the stitch-demoness, it's blind eyes narrowing and widening at appropriate intervals, "Tell me _why_ I shouldn't kill you now?"_

_Goldie gulped, thinking what she could do to get out of this. Finally, she keyed in on the Eclipse Wolf's blindness, "You... haven't had any of these fruit, have you?" _

"_Or _any_ fruit for that matter," The beast growled, "My nose is only meant to smell meat, blood. Not plant-life. But I _do_ protect this grove to the last."_

"_Hear me out on this," Goldie took a fruit from her bag and carefully reached a hand towards the beast's maw. "Now, don't bite _me_," She warned, "But try this." The Eclipse Wolf gave a warning growl before its long, black tongue reached forward and grabbed the fruit from Goldie's hand. He didn't say anything, but the content murr that vibrated through his chest gave Goldie her desired response, "If you let me go now, I'll come here every year and pick some fruit for ya. Not just that, but I'll give you a third of what ever has grown on my farm. How's that sound?" _

"_A pleasing offer..." The Eclipse Wolf hummed, "But how do I know that you'll keep your end of the bargain?" _

_A clever smirk grew on Goldie's lips, "I'll show you."_

* * *

><p><em>Goldie's heart was still pounding in her chest as she made it back to the house. However, when she heard a lonely howl from the Yonko Forests, she knew she couldn't go to sleep just yet. So, she grabbed a pot and pan from one of their wagons and clanged them together: to tell the Eclipse Wolf that she remembered their bargain. <em>

'The very next morning, we planted those trees and watched in awe as they sprouted up and burst into bloom. And every year afterwards, I would watch out for the special signs leading up to harvest-time. How the weather would change, how the Eclipse Wolf would howl to remind me of our bargain, and, most important, how there would always be an abundance of fruit: plenty for us _and_ the Wolf.

The fruits of our labor were the sweetest, most succulent produce and baked goods ever crafted. Soon after, I started messing around with a recipe for a special sort of jelly. I learned that, like Harvesting the Heaven Fruit, Heaven Jelly was a finicky thing.

You have to be extra kind to the red wasps before you take their honey... You have to give the glass jars a stern talking to... You have to sing to the water for the trees...

Soon enough, demons and creatures from all over came to buy the Heaven Jelly: some insisting that it had special properties, others just because it tasted good. So many of them came that a lot of them decided to stay and build up home in this new area, helping to build homes and cultivate the land. In fact, Sakon, Ukon, your daddy came to Adamant Falls when he was barely taller than my knee. The Heaven Jelly is actually what filled him up with so much emotion that he started acting.

My sons and daughters... Well, they soon left to go live the 'Hoku way of life' with the money I had earned with the Heaven Jelly, but I chose to stay.

Besides, I had a town to look after. _My_ new settlement of Adamant Falls.'

* * *

><p>All of the children in the classroom sat stock still, some of them with their mouths gaping open in shock.<p>

Then, a soft clapping from Alexandr.

Then from Mizuki and Hun.

Before long, everyone (that is, except for Sakon and Ukon), were clapping and cheering for the old demoness in front of them. "Now, calm down young ones..." Obaa-san chuckled, Ongakuhana asking,

"So if it weren't for you and the Heaven Fruit, Adamant Falls wouldn't even _exist_?"

"Pretty much, yep." Obaa-san nodded. Kire took the moment to lean over to Sakon and Ukon and smile,

"If it weren't for our Obaa-san and the Heaven Jelly, your dad wouldn't be the actor he is today." The twins gulped as they were made the center of conversation. Finally, Sakon snapped,

"But she's just a _crazy_ old lady!"

"Sakon!" Iruka shouted, immediately apologizing to Obaa-san before he walked over and grabbed both of the twins' ears, "I think you two need a nice time-out while I go call your father."

* * *

><p>Later on, in a kitchen that had been painted in rainbow polka-dots, Obaa-san was busy stirring a boiling pot of milky sap: the Heaven Jelly in its raw form. Kira was busy keeping the fire hot with freshly cut wood. However, when Obaa-san held out a spoonful of jelly, Kira happily lapped it up.<p>

"Heaven Jelly!" Hidan called out while the kids were setting up a stand to sell the pure, ivory jelly. There was even a line forming outside of the farm and sales hadn't even started yet!

But Obaa-san had been kind enough to set aside a jar of Jelly for the Chakra-Mark Musketeers to sample.

"Mm-mm!" Ongakuhana happily sighed as she took a bite of bread slathered with the special treat, "This is the best Heaven Jelly yet!"

"Darn straight!" Obaa-san shuffled over, laughing as she patted Kira on the head, "My little snow-pea here is one _heck_ of a jelly-maker!"

Kira smiled, hugging the demoness's knee, "Thanks Obaa-san." Kakuzu walked by carrying a basket of Heaven Fruit, smiling,

"So I take it that Family Appreciation day went well?"

"Better than well!" Kira beamed, Kiro explaining,

"We learned a lot about Obaa-san that we never would have before."

"She's, like," Kire bit his lip, thinking of what to say, "Super special and stuff! We just..."

"Forgot that for a while..." Kira's ears drooped, Obaa-san laughing,

"Don't fret snow-pea! I forget things all the time! Now, um..." She hummed for a bit, forgetting what she needed to do. She then abruptly remembered, "Who wants to help me sing to the water?"

The children all cheered and rushed to follow Obaa-san. Hidan walked over and helped to turn the sprinklers on, everyone beginning to sing and dance through the spraying water. However...

"_Daddy~!_" The cry came from Sakon and Ukon as Orochimaru was shoving them to go dance with the other children, "We don't want to!"

"Too bad!" The snake-demon hissed, "Trying to embarrass me- MOVE!"

* * *

><p>The ivory-white jelly was spread over a slice of wheat bread, Kakuzu working quickly and calmly, before he handed it to his grandmother. "Thank you kindly Kuzu." Obaa-san smiled before taking a bite.<p>

The two stitch-demons sat on the back porch of the farmhouse, Tsukuyomi's moon and stars shining in the night skies above. Stitch-demons were, naturally, a quiet bunch: so just the two of them sitting there, Obaa-san in her rocking chair, Kakuzu sitting on the ground next to her, spoke volumes.

"It's beautiful."

"Beg pardon?" Kakuzu asked, Obaa-san adding,

"Oh, nothing. Just my ramblings." She had been referring to the farm, the family, and the bustling town that Adamant Falls had become. But she was... tired. Besides, the nod she received from her grandson told her that her thoughts had been conveyed. "I think..." She stood up on creaky limbs, "That I'll retire."

Kakuzu stood up as well, "I guess that I'll do one final walk-around of the farm before heading up myself. Oyasumi Obaa-san."

"Sleep well Kuzu." Obaa-san smiled, shuffling inside.

* * *

><p>The night was peaceful, cool, quiet. Obaa-san was laying in her room, trying to get some rest after the active days that had passed.<p>

However...

She opened her soft eyes before gently speaking, "I suppose that I've lived a good life. I mean, my son has practically disowned me despite what I did for him. Yet, the gods blessed me with a sweet, honorable grandson to fill the void." The demoness sighed, "And being here for his family and friends has filled my heart with nothing but joy."

"So then..." The figure of Nibi No Nekomata melted in from the shadows of the room: scroll of death in hand, "Goldie Hoku, do you acknowledge that your time has come?"

Obaa-san sat up, staying silent as she thought for a moment. She had always been there to guide Kakuzu and Hidan and the kids. Even when they wandered into Adamant Falls as teens, much to her astonishment, Obaa-san had guided them to the acres of land that Kakuzu had bought and introduced them to farming.

She was the one who helped Hidan get used to being a mother.

Would they really be okay without her?

Finally... she gave a slow nod.

Nibi nodded back, writing the stitch-demoness's name into her scroll in elegant, golden letters. "Then, Goldie Hoku, I wish you safe passage to the after-life..."

There was a soft thud.

Then...

Silence.

* * *

><p>"Hey! Get back here and help me with these dishes!" Hidan yelled as Peachy and a few of the other children were about to sneak out. It was another busy morning at Goldleaf Farms: Kakuzu already having started on the fields and Hidan trying to get the kitchen back to a stable order. "Damn." The cat-demon hissed before turning to see Kira trying to put her dishes in the sink. "Go and give Obaa-san breakfast. Usually when she takes so long in getting down here, it means that she wants to eat in her room."<p>

"Okay." Kira carefully took a plate with some bread, a knife, and some Heaven Jelly and began the wary trip upstairs. It was a lot of work, she almost tripped a few times, but finally she made it to her destination. "Obaa-san?" She gently called out as she let herself in. "Obaa-san, its time for breakfast!"

Her ears didn't catch any noise, however, not even that of breathing. Kira stepped further in, trying to see if a simple nudge would wake her great-grandmother. "Obaa-san?" She gently tapped the stitch-demoness's shoulder.

Her eyes went wide as the body's hand slumped over the edge of the bed. Cold. Lifeless.

The plate fell to the floor, shattering as Kira went screaming for help.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **

**Obaa-san, no~! **

**Thanks for reading, please review.**

**-Tyranno's girl.**


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